Living with Regrets (No Regrets book 2)

by Aimee Noalane

  “Chase,” Oliver answered without taking his eyes away from mine. “How are you?”

  “I’m good. You?”

  Oliver didn’t respond. He just stared at me as I did at him.

  Chase took a step forward to stand beside me and tried to get my attention. When I didn’t react, he reached for the stem of the flower and touched one of the blooms. “Orchid?”

  “Yes,” I answered annoyed.

  “I never understood why you like these flowers so much. They don’t even smell.”

  “It’s because of their life span,” Oliver interjected before I was able to respond. “The blooming time can last for months at the time. Once the flowers fade away, you can cut the stem just an inch above the bump, here, to give it another blossoming chance.”

  He grinned watching me.

  He knew very well what was on my mind.

  I couldn’t believe he still remembered the whole lesson I had given him about orchids, the one his father had taught me over ten years ago.

  “It takes a few months and a lot of patience, but if you maintain a regular feeding schedule and ensure the right lighting, this small bump will transform into a new branch that will eventually grow new flower buds––a second life, if you will––but even more beautiful because you cherished it from beginning to end,” he explained, looking at me but still addressing Chase… or me. I wasn’t quite sure anymore.

  “I still don’t get it. Many flowers re-bloom if you continue to take care of them,” Chase retorted breaking our gaze.

  “Maybe, but they don’t last as long.”

  It’s not fair that he remembers this…

  Oliver locked his eyes back on mine. “And they aren’t as breathtaking.”

  Please, God, I really hope I’m not blushing right now.

  “Besides, its life span isn’t the real reason Abby loves these flowers so much. It’s the fact that it’s the first flower she ever received as a gift when she turned eight years old, and that she continued to receive once a year on her birthday for the fifteen years after that.”

  My eyes shot up to his, and he smirked.

  “Did I get that right, beautiful? Or did you believe they came from someone else?”

  “It was fourteen,” I answered.

  Stupid Oliver.

  “Fifteen.” He approached and kissed my cheek close to my ear. “I asked you to not let the orchids fade away, Abbygail.”

  I had no idea what he was talking about, nevertheless his proximity made me shudder.

  “Happy belated birthday, beautiful.”

  Every fiber in my being was telling me to not move, but who was I kidding? Any girl who had Oliver Langton standing so close to her would have been quivering.

  You’re supposed to be mad at him, Abby, not.... well not this…

  “I need to um…” I blubbered as soon as he stepped back. “I’ll be right back.”

  Oliver

  Chase stood in my line of sight as I watched Abby disappear into her old bedroom. I still couldn’t believe that she thought I had forgotten about the orchid or its meaning. The flower was the symbol to our everlasting friendship. Over the years, I’d put a great effort into trying to not think about my love for Abby and how much I missed her, but when it came to her birthday, I couldn’t help sending her a white and blue orchid so that she would be reminded that regardless of what had happened between us, I would never forget who we were.

  Now I was standing in the middle of her living room asking myself who she could have possibly thought had been sending her those flowers on that specific day for all these years.

  “Is there anything you want to ask me?” I inquired Chase as he attacked me with his unrelenting presence. He was maybe two inches under my six feet, but he took an imposing stance.

  “No, not really––more of a comment, actually.”

  “I’m listening.” I didn’t give him a side-glance. I really didn’t care much about whatever he had to say.

  “Listen, Oliver, I know I barely know you and that both you and Abby share some kind of history, but I really care about her.”

  My eyes fell back on him.

  Well there you go, dude. Now you’ve got my attention.

  “You’re clueless as to what happened after you left. You hurt her. Deeply. I won’t let you do it again. She can’t go through that kind of suffering anymore.”

  “She won’t.” There was really nothing more to add.

  “You seem pretty confident.”

  “That’s because I am, Chase. She doesn’t need you to protect her from me, because I have absolutely no intention of hurting her again. Trust me.”

  Abbygail

  I scurried up the steps, and went to the first place I could think of to gather my thoughts. Shutting my old bedroom door behind me, I exhaled the breath I felt I had been holding onto for the past three minutes.

  I shook my head. The orchid wasn’t what defined our friendship, but it was a reminder of our bond. Oliver made a point of offering me one every year on my birthday because he knew what it meant. It’s exactly why I made a point of mentioning it in the last letter I had sent him. And now, faced with the truth, I think that deep down I knew that he’d been the one sending them all along.

  And for the record, I’m positive I didn’t get one on my seventeenth birthday.

  Standing in the dark, I tried to wrap my head around our conversation asking myself how I could have been so blind…

  Or maybe I chose to be blind?

  I walked over to my closet. Opening the door and inhaling the dusty smell, I turned the light on and smiled. My mother had kept my room exactly like it was years ago, which meant that my secret treasure box would still be where it was purposefully hidden. Years ago, I told my mother I’d thrown everything related to Oliver away. She lashed out at me, telling me I’d regret it one day, but the truth was I lied to her. This box was my own little secret, one I would cherish forever.

  I crouched down, trying not to rip my new dress, and reached far under the bottom shelf. The first thing my eyes landed on as I pulled out the big leather box was a picture of Oliver and me at the fair. With a heavy heart, I ran my hand over it, and savoured its memory.

  So many stories...

  So many tears…

  ···

  I heard my name being called from outside my bedroom door as soon as I took off the lid from the box. The sound of Chase’s voice made me wonder how long I’d been sitting there, engrossed in my own thoughts. I craved the memories every time I took it out and knew how easy it was to get lost in them if I wasn’t careful.

  “Abby?”

  “Just a sec,” I responded, irritated by his intrusion.

  Dropping the flower inside the box, I rushed out in a hurry. I just had to remember to come back later and put everything away before I went back to my house.

  “Are you okay?” Chase asked as I stepped out of my bedroom. We walked down the hallway together, and saw Hailey and Neil talking with Oliver near the mezzanine that overlooked out living room. Both waved with a warm smile. I hadn’t seen either of them in years.

  It was obvious that Chase was trying to get my attention, but I ignored him. I was a bit dazed by the number of people my mother had invited, we hadn’t had so much company for her birthday in a very long time.

  “Abbygail?” he called harshly.

  “What?

  “Are you okay?

  “Yeah Chase, I’m fine. I just wasn’t expecting so many people, that’s all.”

  “I was actually referring to what happened before you vanished into your old room.”

  “Oh, that. Yes, I’m much better now. Thanks.”

  “What happened?” He feigned his concern. I’d gotten so used to Chase’s jealous spats towards other guys.

  “It’s complicated.”

  “Yeah,” he responded arrogantly. “It always is.”

  “Excuse me?” I dared him to continue. “Twenty minutes, Chase. We have been here a tota
l of twenty minutes, and you’re already giving me shit about him. You knew what was to be expected tonight when you found out he’d be here, and you decided to come anyway. I don’t want to fight with you tonight, especially not over this.”

  He exhaled a deep, long breath. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Forget I said anything. Look, your mother’s in the living room. She looks like she wants to talk to you.”

  We descended the three steps, and as we made our way to her, I lifted my eyes up to Oliver. He was leaning on the rail like he always did in the past, looking like the guy that never actually left. There was something appeasing about him being in my old house at that very moment.

  For the first time in years, it felt like home.

  I stopped for a second and observed him. Even fully dressed, sexiness oozed out of his pores. He looked raw but something in his eyes told me he was still the same sweet guy that I’d known over six years ago.

  I groaned.

  Everything going through my mind was wrong. I stared at his hands and lips, and wondered what they would feel like against my skin, and just as if he sensed me watching him, his attention shifted. I chewed nervously my bottom lip never shying away from his piercing gaze. His eyebrow rose as he studied me.

  He knew.

  Even after six years of absence, he still knew me all too well.

  I shook my head with a timid smile and he winked. He had been back for less than forty-eight hours, and he was already making my heart skip a beat.

  How can he still have this pull over me?

  “Oww?” I glowered at Chase poking my ribs with his elbow. “What the hell is your problem?”

  “Your mom was talking to you,” he replied in an angry tone.

  “So you poke me?” I scolded. “I’m sorry I got distracted, Mom.”

  Both of our eyes were on him, and because Oliver is Oliver, he noticed and laughed. I was pretty sure I turned a deep shade of red. My mother smiled, but to my relief she decided not to mock whatever she had just witnessed.

  “Abby, there is someone I would like you to meet. Jacob…” The nice looking man talking with Meg’s husband Peter turned around and faced us. “I would like for you to meet my daughter Abbygail and her friend Chase. Abbygail, this is Jacob Felster.”

  “Good evening, Mr. Felster.”

  He pulled out his hand and gave me a firm shake. “Please call me Jacob, Abbygail, and it’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

  “Abbygail,” she cautioned. “Jacob and I have been in a relationship for the past six months now.”

  My mother eyed us intently as if she was waiting for some kind of reaction from me. The thing was that I wasn’t quite sure how to react. For all I knew, my mother hadn’t been in a relationship since my dad split when I was four, but my problem wasn’t that she finally found someone that made her happy, it was more about the fact that she waited six months to tell me.

  “It’s nice to meet you as well, Jacob,” I smiled to both of them. “Um, Mom? Can we talk for a minute?”

  “Sure, sweetheart. What’s up?”

  I really didn’t want Jacob or Chase to know what was on my mind. Looking up at the two guests my mother and I were supposed to be entertaining, I scrunched my nose.

  “How about Chase and I go get something to drink for you ladies.” Jacob suggested.

  I was surprised he could read into my need of privacy, and waited for them to be out of earshot before speaking my mind. “Six months, huh?”

  “I needed to be sure it was serious.”

  I kept my voice low, but she knew her secrecy didn’t please me. She was my mom after all. I had to look out for her somehow. “Yes, but Mom… six months? I’m not a kid anymore. It’s not like you had to protect me from the Boogeyman or something. You’re so cryptic about your personal life. It’s annoying. I feel like you’re afraid I’ll react badly to your being happy. I mean, I didn’t even know you were dating. For all I know, you could have met someone, and he could have hurt you, and then I would have found you four days later in a ditch somewhere!”

  “Abby, don’t you think you are overreacting? Besides, you can’t actually believe I’ve been living as a nun for the past sixteen years.”

  Eww, TMI!

  She exploded into laughter as the sight of my disgusted face. “Abby, the reason you didn’t know I was dating at all was because after your father, I never met anyone serious enough to talk about. I really like Jacob.”

  “And I’m really happy for you. You can relax, Mom. He seems cool.”

  She hugged me tightly. “Thank God.”

  “I love you, Mom, and while we’re on the subject of you being happy, there is something I need to say. I’m sorry about yesterday, and I am so sorry for the way I acted. It’s just… it caught me by surprise, and it hurt seeing Oliver again, but I want to tell you that I understand. I realize now why you invited him. You deserve to spend time with him and he deserves to be surrounded by people who care about him. So––”

  “ABBY.”

  I smiled at the sound of his little voice.

  He threw himself in my arms, and when I looked up to my mother’s understanding face, she was glowing. Whatever I said seemed to have taken a huge weight off her shoulders.

  “Shawn. Oh kid, you have no idea how happy I am to see you. Where were you?”

  “In the bathroom with my mommy. Abby, can we go downstairs and check for that video game we played last time I was here?”

  “Only if you promise you won’t beat me again.”

  He looked up to me trying to see if I was teasing him or not. “I can’t make that promise.”

  “Dude, that’s cold!”

  Shawn took my hand, laughing, and dragged me in the basement with him. “Abbygail, do you know what I did in school yesterday?”

  I shook my head and listened as he explained something about an art project he was doing in kindergarten. As I looked up from where I was standing I noticed Chase and Oliver watching me. Both were following my every move until I disappeared down the steps. One was observing me with longing and the other one with curiosity.

  Oliver

  “So, how’s your Aunt Hailey holding up?” Jenna asked as she took out the plates from the cupboard.

  “She misses my mom.”

  “Ugh, so do I. I bet a hundred buck’s that they’re up there, though, talking about how handsome you are, and what a perfect gentlemen you’ve become.”

  I let out a crooked grin. “You’d think that, but that’s not what they’re doing. Right now, my mother is gloating.”

  “You’re probably right, and she’s also probably wondering what your next move on my daughter is going to be.”

  “Ha! Don’t worry about it, Aunt Jen. I’m not planning anything. I promise.”

  She let out a soft chuckle. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Oliver Langton. Six years may have made you broad and handsome, but they haven’t changed you or the way you look at her.” She handed me the stack full of plates. “Go take the centerpiece off the table. It’s time to eat.”

  ···

  Our eyes were supposed to be closed while Aunt Jenna said grace, but I couldn’t help catching a glimpse of the girl sitting across me. I was never a religious person, and to my recollection neither was Abby. When we were young, we would always make funny faces and tease each other while our parents’ eyes were closed, and six years later, our ritual hadn’t changed: our eyes were still open, and we still regarded each other, but the way we did was entirely different.

  She wasn’t trying to make me laugh; she was trying to figure me out.

  Either way, I loved the way she looked at me while the rest of the table was deep in their prayer. The silence around us felt like it was exactly what we needed.

  For a moment it was as if the both of us were alone at the dining room table. Her deep blue eyes were focused on mine, as mine were on hers. I admired her beauty. She had outgrown her cute freckles, which kind of made me sad, but her eyes still
remained the true light to what she felt in her heart.

  Curiosity ate me up from inside as I wondered what her reaction would be if I tried to make her laugh, so I stuck my tongue out.

  “Is that all you’ve got?” she mouthed.

  Of all the reactions I could have anticipated, her challenging me wasn’t what I had expected. I raised my eyebrow, and she bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from laughing. The sight of her teeth on her lips brought back memories of her tongue grazing mine so many years ago and flooded my mind for the second time that night. Even years later, the taste of her bubble gum and root beer lips, haunted me.

  “Stop acting like ten-year-old kids, you two,” Jenna chastised without opening her eyes. I had no idea how she possibly could have known, but it was perfect timing. I winked, and Abby smiled back.

  More like sixteen years old, but yeah we should definitely stop.

  My mother and Aunt Jenna had always been keen on the idea of guests sharing their thanks before a big feast, so I wasn’t surprised when she asked us to express our appreciation during dinner. At the age of sixteen, and with the presence of my parents, I would have probably groaned, but for obvious reasons that night, I didn’t. However, at the age of twenty-three, Abby still groaned. It was hilarious to see how little some of her reactions had changed over time.

  Chase started with some gibberish about being thankful for second chances at happiness. At first, I had no idea what it meant, but something shifted in Abbygail’s eyes, and I figured out that he was talking about her. The thought of them together made me cringe and by the look Abby had on her face, it had the same effect on her.

  I listened as Aunt Jenna and her guests shared their thanks, and wondered what I could possibly say. All I could think about was how lucky I was that the girl sitting across from me had actually agreed to sit across of me.

  “Okay, kiddo,” Abby remarked. “It’s your turn.”

  “I still don’t understand what I’m supposed to do, Abby.”

  “You’re supposed to say thank you,” she replied.

  “Yes, but what for?”

  “Anything you want Shawn.” I answered the same way my father had when Abby and I were four years old. “It’s entirely up to you. You can be thankful for your mom, your dad, for your best friend, a new toy... anything works, really.”