Living with Regrets (No Regrets book 2)

by Aimee Noalane

  “I’m not your buddy, and I don’t need your pity.” He spat as he made his way inside Abby’s room.

  “Hey Cole, if you feel like talking—”

  “Don’t bother. I’m good.” He reappeared a few seconds later pushing a box with his foot, the thing looked like it weighed a ton. “I am curious though,” he demanded leaning on the door frame. “Why did you leave?”

  “It’s complicated.” It was the simplest answer I could find.

  “You’re a fucking coward, Oliver Langton.” he muttered. He broke eye contact and picked up the box only to shove it in my arms.

  I matched his stare. I had to hand it to the kid: he had balls. “What it is?”

  “Go through it, you’ll see. It’s a little reminder of what you chose to leave behind.”

  Cole never bothered to wish me goodnight, he simply disappeared behind Abby’s bedroom door without giving a second glance. Baffled, I walked back inside my room and dropped the box on the bed.

  Lectured by a teen. That’s a first!

  I sat on my bed admiring the amazing carved designs and patterns on the leather box, and immediately I recognized it as Abby’s work. It was exactly the type of doodling she did on every single loose sheet of paper she could find when we were younger. On top of the lid there was a picture of her and me at the fair. I remembered when Zoey took that picture. We had just stepped out of the Big Zipper ride. Abby and I had been spinning the cage so much that Ava almost threw up. She was beyond pissed off at us, and all we did was laugh at her. Observing the picture closely, I paid close attention to our eyes, anyone who saw us could clearly see that we loved each other. Everyone except us, that is.

  The first thing I took out was the orchid I gave her at her mother’s dinner party. Everything I ever gave Abbygail over the years was in the box. Teddy bears, drawings, cards, letters, cd’s, pictures—so many pictures—my old football jersey, a couple of diaries and the Volcom skateboard I had involuntarily left behind. I couldn’t believe she had kept all of it, especially, since her mother told me she threw out everything after our fall out. Abby had many secrets, and the fact that I was still one of them made me happy.

  I flipped the board over and smiled at the memory. I must have missed the top of the ramp for the tenth time in a row that evening, and all Abby did was laugh at me. She tried to convince me it was because I was too tired from not sleeping all night, but I knew very well it was her laughing and smiling, or basically every time she moved or opened her mouth that distracted me.

  ···

  “Fucking hell!”

  “Oliver, you three have been at this for hours. Why don’t you just give it a rest already?”

  “Abby, if you want to leave, then leave. I didn’t ask you to come here with me. I don’t even understand why you come to the skate park if you don’t like skateboarding. I’m sure you and Kylie could spend your time and talk somewhere else. Stephan, Tyler and I will just join you later when we’re done.”

  “Actually, you did ask me to come, and don’t be pissed off at me because you’re the one missing the ramp, Oliver Langton. For your information, if I’m here, it’s because I want to be. The fact that I don’t skateboard doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy watching you. Besides, if I wasn’t here, who else would cheer you on like I do?”

  “Or laugh when I fall,” I argued.

  “Come on, Ol, don’t sulk. Would you like me to kiss your booboos goodbye?” she mocked.

  YES.

  “Shut up,” I laughed, as I climbed the ramp. “I’m fine. Let me try it again and then we’ll go home for a swim, okay?”

  “By all means.” She smiled, and walked back to where she came from. “Oh wait.” She climbed on the ramp and took my board from me and drew out a black sharpie.

  “Abs, it’s brand new.”

  She rolled her eyes at me. She knew very well I didn’t mind. “Come on, Oliver, I’ll draw just one, and it will be like your good luck charm. You’re always better when I’m around anyway, and I promise it won’t be quirky like the heart thing I drew on the other one.”

  “Fine. But nothing lame, Abby!”

  ···

  I would have been satisfied with anything she drew on my board and she never stopped at one. By the end of the summer, it was covered in her graffiti just like the old one.

  I traced the letters on the back, Forever LOV E.

  Holy crap, was I really that blind?

  I put everything back inside Abby’s treasure box except my skateboard and took out a pen and paper; it was time for me to tell the girl I left behind everything I ever held back.

  ···

  The pounding at my door woke me up from my mere six hours of sleep. I groaned. I was going to need a vacation time from my vacation…

  “Oliver. Oliver, open the door.”

  I got off the bed, dragging my feet to answer. By the time I reached the handle, the door opened nearly slamming me in the face.

  “Cole.” I bellowed taking a step back.

  “Sorry! But she wants me to talk to the cops. I don’t want to talk to them. Make them go away.”

  “I can’t make them go away, Cole. They need to do their jobs. She’s doing this to protect you.”

  He walked past me. “I don’t care. You don’t understand. If I do this, my mother will hate me, and then I’ll have nothing left…”

  I rubbed my temples, “Okay, Cole, I get it. Calm down. I’m going to hit the John, and we’ll talk after.”

  I grabbed my sleeveless shirt and stepped out bumping into Abby as I opened the door. She looked tired and confused.

  “Oh. Um…” She eyed me from top to bottom, stopping at my crotch, because there’s obviously nothing like morning stiffness to get her undivided attention.

  “Abby?”

  “Um.”

  “Abby, my eyes are up here, beautiful.” I teased, truly enjoying the attention I was getting from her.

  “Yeah, um, sorry,” she blushed. She was fucking adorable.

  “Have you seen Cole? I looked everywhere and can’t find him. Your room is the only one left.”

  “He just stepped inside. Give me a few minutes with him.”

  “But the police are here, and they want to talk to him,” she insisted.

  “I get it, Abs, but he doesn’t want to talk to them, so let me handle this.”

  “This is my job, Oliver,” she argued. “Let me do my job.”

  “Abbygail, Cole isn’t your job. He is your neighbor that’s in need of a helping hand, and I’m your friend asking you to give me a minute with him. He’s scared. I’ll take him down as soon as I see he’s ready to talk. Okay?”

  “Fine,” she huffed, walking away towards the kitchen. “But when you come out, hide your tattoos.”

  “Why the hell do I need to hide my tattoos?”

  “Because you look like a bad boy, not a social worker.”

  I grinned. “If you knew what I could do to you, you wouldn’t be calling me a boy right now, Abbygail Evens.”

  She spun on her heels pretending to be shocked.

  “I can’t un-hear that,” her mother shouted from somewhere nearby.

  Abby exploded into laughter.

  “You two do know we have a couple of police officers in our house right now, don’t you? Could you, oh I don’t know, tone it down and behave, at least until they leave?”

  “Sorry Jen.”

  “No you’re not, Oliver Langton. So don’t lie to me, young man.”

  She was right. I wasn’t.

  When I came back to my room, I needed to remind myself to keep my mind out of the gutter. It was hard: there was just something about Abby’s hungry eyes that I just couldn’t shake off.

  “Nice board,” he said as I closed the door behind me. His smirk told me he had just overheard the whole conversation.

  “I know. So, Cole, do you feel like talking a little bit?”

  “No, not really.” He played with the wheels to distract himself. “Do y
ou still use this?”

  “I don’t.”

  “Can I have it?”

  “How about this: You tell me what’s going on, and I’ll give it to you.”

  He put the skate board on the bed and walked over to the leather box acting like he didn’t care that I said yes. The side of his lips turned up into a subtle smile, and I knew I’d found a way to win him over.

  “This box is really cool. Did Abby make this?”

  “My guess is yes.”

  He went through the box, stopping on items that caught his attention. He picked up one of her diaries and flipped through the pages and stopped on one that made him smile.

  “What?” I asked.

  He handed me the open page. It was a love calculating game. Apparently many years ago, Abby and I had a 97% chance of being a successful couple. I chuckled and put the book back into the box.

  “Have you read any of these?”

  I shook my head. “Never needed to. Abby and I shared everything. Well… almost everything. She didn’t share that.” I laughed.

  “I don’t get why you two never dated. I mean, look at this.” He handed me the picture of Abby and me cuddled together in front of a bonfire. “You were clearly in love with her.”

  “I was, but I guess I was afraid to tell her how I felt. Being in love with your best friend is tricky, Cole.”

  He shrugged. “Why did you leave?”

  I thought about my answer for a while. It was hard to find an explanation that wouldn’t give too much of my own past. “I didn’t take my dad’s death very well. It was my way of escaping the person I didn’t want to be before it was too late.”

  He nodded. “Did you miss her?”

  “Every day. She meant everything to me.”

  “I miss my dad a lot.”

  Now, we’ve got something!

  “Where is he?”

  He raised his shoulder sadly. “He bailed after my mom got him arrested for coming to see me when he wasn’t supposed to. They got into it or something. It wasn’t a big deal, obviously, but it was enough to send him packing.”

  I frowned.

  “A little over a year later, I understood why. He sent me a birthday card with the picture of a little baby girl. I guess, since he was expecting another baby with his new wife, he couldn’t afford going to jail.” Cole took out the picture of his baby sister from his wallet. She was adorable. “Her name is Mackenzie.”

  “She has your eyes.”

  He smiled. “In the letter he sent with the card, he explained a bunch of things, but I never asked my mom about any of it. In the end, there was no return address, so I swept the whole thing under a rug. I honestly don’t know who to believe. I just don’t get how you can leave someone you love so much behind without looking back you know? I mean, if you missed Abby so much, why not come back for her before now?”

  “Honestly?”

  He nodded.

  “We had a big fall out, and she told me she never wanted to see me again. I was hurt and gave up on us.”

  “Just like that?”

  “Yeah,” I exhaled. “Just like that.”

  “Did you ever think about her?”

  I lifted my sleeveless shirt and showed him the tattoo over my heart. “All-the-time.”

  “What happened last night, Cole?”

  “Stupid Professor Chase suspended me on Wednesday. You met him already. He was the guy that got into it outside with Abby on Thursday night.”

  I nodded, refraining from commenting about douche-bag Chase.

  “Anyway, my mother grounded me, and last night when she went to work I got caught sneaking out to go to a party. According to my mother’s boyfriend, disfiguring me is a suitable punishment.”

  I swore under my breath. “Does he do that often?”

  He didn’t answer. He just looked at the floor.

  “Cole?” I growled. It was enough to snap him out from his trance. For a moment I regretted it, but I needed the information.

  “He doesn’t usually go for my face. Yesterday, I fought back, so—”

  “What do you mean he doesn’t usually go for your face?”

  He winced. “Okay, I’ll show you, but you can’t tell Abby or her mom.”

  I rolled my eyes and he lifted his shirt. His entire torso was covered in various vivid and discolored bruises.

  “Holy shit, Cole. We need to get you to the hospital. Does your mother know about this?”

  “I told her, once or twice. She’s either blind as a bat in love, or too drunk to care. Either way, it doesn’t matter—it’s my job to take care of her. What am I supposed to do?”

  I was getting frustrated with everything. This kid went through hell because of his mother, yet his loyalty never left her. “You do understand why we need to report this, don’t you?”

  “I do. I just don’t want to.” He walked over to the bed. “So I told you my story, can I keep the board?”

  “If you let me make another deal with you, it’s all yours.”

  He groaned. “I know what you want me to do. I don’t want to end up in foster care.”

  I sat with him. “Cole, I can’t guarantee what will happen. The whole situation depends on this guy’s rap sheet and what your mother is willing to do to help your family. I don’t know her, so I don’t know what’s going to happen. What I am ready to do, though, is to let the police and CPS do their job… and if you let me, I can do mine and try to track down your dad. If he’s the good guy you say he is, maybe we could check into the possibility of him taking you in.”

  “You can do that?” He seemed so hopeful.

  “I can try, but I need to do it within the boundaries of the law. What do you say? Are you willing to work with me a bit?”

  He pondered on my offer for a moment. “And I can keep the skateboard?”

  I chuckled. “The board is yours, Cole, as long as you don’t tell Abby I’m the one who gave it to you.”

  He smiled. “Deal.”

  We saw Abby patiently sitting at the top of the steps when we stepped out of my room. She seemed relieved to see us.

  “Are you ready to talk to the police, Cole?”

  He turned his worried eyes to me and I nodded to let him know that I’d be there if he needed me. “Yeah, let’s just get this over with, and thanks for the board.”

  Little weasel…

  “You went through my stuff?” Abbygail accused in disbelief.

  “No, I didn’t. He found the box, liked the board and took it.”

  “Dude,” Cole retorted. “You’re such a liar. It was out of the box when I came in.”

  I groaned.

  “So what? You just decided it was okay to give my stuff away?”

  “For the record Abby, I’m pretty sure the board belongs to me.”

  “No, it doesn’t.

  “Uh, yeah, it does. I got this when we finished 9th grade. Remember?”

  “Yeah. Well… you left it behind, so it’s mine now.”

  “According to who?”

  “Me. Besides, I’m pretty sure a law exists about unclaimed things belonging to their finder.”

  “There is, and I’m pretty sure it only comes into play after like ten years. It’s only been six, so I’m claiming it back. Anyway, I don’t know why you’re getting all worked up about this. I got him to talk, didn’t I?”

  “I’m not mad because of the stupid skateboard, Oliver. I’m pissed because you went through my stuff.”

  “I didn’t. I swear.”

  She raised her eyebrow, crossing her arms over her chest. “Once you stop scratching your jaw, I might start believing you.”

  Dammit, does everyone know I do this?

  “You two should get a room.” Cole mocked and looked at me. “I’m pretty sure if I weren’t here right now, you’d totally be pinning her against the wall right now.”

  “Cole!” Abby shouted.

  I really wanted to deny it, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. “You’re like si
xteen, right?”

  “Oh my God, Oliver, seriously… he’s fifteen… and STOP TALKING.”

  Cole and I roared into laughter while Abby took him by the hand and walked down the steps. Just before she was out of sight, she turned around and thanked me with her adorable smile.

  Twenty Something Questions

  Abbygail

  “And, I mean, is this even a real date?” I asked Kylie.

  It was the third time I’d called her that day. The first time was on my way back from the whole Cole ordeal. After that, it was after my semi panic attack when I woke up from my brief afternoon nap. And now, I was sitting on the floor, half dressed in the middle of scattered clothing, still over thinking every single stupid detail possible. It was as if I couldn’t find anything better to do than stress about everything that went through my mind.

  “We’re talking about Oliver Langton, and he’s going back across the country in less than twenty-four hours. This date has got to be the stupidest thing I have ever agreed to do. Kylie… I can’t do this.”

  “Abbygail, can you please stop stressing over this and go with the flow for once in your life?”

  “Stephan? Why the hell are you on the phone right now? Wait. Am I on speaker? Come on, Kylie. Really?”

  “I’m sorry,” she defended. “He’s your best friend, and he’s pissed at me because you called me instead of him.”

  “Three times,” he interrupted.

  I rolled my eyes even though I knew nobody saw me. “I can’t talk to you about this.”

  “Why the hell not?”

  “I don’t know. It’s just weird.”

  “Okay, babe.” I heard shuffling then a clicking sound. “Abby?”

  I wasn’t on speaker phone anymore.

  “What?”

  “You need to let it go.”

  “Let what go?”

  “Whatever is going on through your mind right now. If labelling this as a date scares you, then just think about it as rekindling a lost friendship.”

  “But—”

  “Abby, stop overthinking. He misses you and wants to spend some time with you because, regardless of what you think you know, you meant the world to him. And guess what? You still do.”

  “But—”