Living with Regrets (No Regrets book 2)

by Aimee Noalane

  I relaxed and smirked. It was exactly the type of thing Tyler would say.

  “You gave us quite a scare, Abby. You’ve been out of it for four days.”

  Really?

  Sandra came in at the right time. The throbbing had accentuated when I started to worry about Tyler. She injected the medication in my IV, and fifteen minutes later I fell back asleep, with my mother by my side.

  That night I dreamt of guns, rotten teeth, a crying little girl and Tyler. Both had died in my arms, and it was my fault. Everyone I ever cared about made sure I understood how much they hated me for it.

  ···

  When I woke up in the morning, the sun shined through the window, blinding me with its radiant rays of light. My head still hurt, and the clarity of the sunlight only heightened the pain, but I refused to protest. The fact that I could actually see was more than enough to make me smile.

  Sandra walked in smiling, and once my eyes adjusted to the light, I noticed how everything seemed much less imposing.

  “Hello there, Ms. Evens.” the older man that accompanied her said.

  I scrunched my nose insulted by the way he addressed me. “Please call me Abbygail or Abby. Ms. Evens makes me sound old. Like my mom!” I teased, smiling at her.

  She gave me an annoyed eye roll from where she sat with Jacob, but I also saw her subtle smile.

  “Well, it’s nice to see that you still have that good sense of humor all your friends have been talking about.”

  “Good sense of humor,” I repeated. “Funny! I’ll keep that in mind next time they complain about it.”

  He chuckled. “I’m Dr. Pearson. I’ll be handling your care for the next few days and will also insure any future follow ups at my personal office.”

  “It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Pearson. When can I get out of here?”

  “How about we start by unplugging you from these machines and do a thorough physical exam?”

  After going through an exhaustive list of tests, Dr. Pearson told me he was impressed with my speedy recovery. He was surprised at how I could be so energetic and ready to walk after four days of being in a coma. What he didn’t know was that I was exhausted and in pain but that I refused to let it show. Oliver was right. Life was too short to live with regrets, and no matter how careful a person can be, sometimes life could end up being over way too fast.

  There was somewhere else I needed to be. And the sooner I could get out of the hospital, the faster I would get to him.

  Oliver

  I overslept, engulfed by the comfort of Abby’s old bed. I made it to the hospital around 12:30, and Jenna and Jacob were standing outside drinking coffee.

  “Hey,” I said interrupting their conversation.

  “Oliver!” she beamed. “How did you sleep?”

  “Great. Thank you for convincing me with your evil eyes,” I teased. “How is she this morning?”

  “She’s doing great. She actually woke up fifteen minutes after you left. I guess your lecture ended up working after all.”

  I looked up at the rays of sunlight through the clouds.

  Thank you…

  “Aunt Jen, I asked you to call me if there were any changes. I wanted to be there when she woke up.”

  “I know Oliver, but you were tired and needed to rest. Stop over thinking this and go see her. She fell asleep half an hour ago. When she wakes up, she’ll be pleased to see that adorable face of yours.”

  There could be room to argue with her, but I decided against it. In the end, Abby being out of her coma was the best news ever and the best Christmas gift anyone could have ever offered me.

  Making my way closer to Abby’s room, I heard the hushed voices, and peeked through the unclosed door. Tyler was holding Abby’s hand as they sat closely together on her bed. Tears ran down her cheeks as they talked, and I could feel their pain as he wiped them away in a loving way. Not quite understanding what was going on, I took a step back and bumped into Abby’s nurse.

  “Hi Oliver.”

  “Hey, Sandra. Working overtime today?”

  She nodded. “What can I say? Mouths to feed.”

  My lips curved up slightly, and my focus went back on Abby and Tyler through the observation window.

  “They look relieved to finally find each other, don’t they?”

  “Yeah… I guess they do.”

  In all the time I had spent by Abby’s side, not once did I speculate on the reason why Tyler was at her house alone having dinner with her, and not once had I bothered asking him. His perceptiveness made sure the police arrived at her house just in time to save her from getting raped. I was just happy he was okay and relieved that he was with her when the whole thing happened.

  At the sight of him and Abby together, it suddenly dawned on me that she was probably the one that had invited him over. I stood in the hallway, and observed them through the glass for a while. I couldn’t tell what they were saying, but the second his lips touched hers, I left.

  Abbygail

  I woke up gripping the railings of my bed, panting to another set of horrific images. The nightmares I was having were the worst. I would rather not sleep at all, but unfortunately it wasn’t up to me. Fighting against my fatigued body was useless.

  “Hey, Angel.”

  “Tyler?” I whispered. All my fears and worries dissipated the instant my eyes landed on his.

  He smiled at my relief. “Nightmare?”

  I nodded and massaged my temples. I felt another headache coming.

  “Are you okay?” he frowned.

  “Yeah, I’ll be fine. It’s just a headache.”

  “Wait here. I’ll be back.”

  I wanted to tell him I could just buzz my nurse, but he left the room before I could say anything. I looked outside the window and waited for him to come back. Clouds were forming, but I could still see a little sunlight shining through. I wondered if it had snowed in the past few days, and if we would be having a white Christmas or not. I couldn’t see much of anything from where I sat.

  My head turned to Tyler’s green eyes. He looked like he had been standing there for a while observing me. My brows furrowed as he took the farthest chair from the bed and rested his back against the seat.

  “The nurse should be here in a minute.”

  I frowned. “I’m not made of glass, Tyler.”

  “I know.”

  “Then why the hell are you sitting all the way over there?”

  “I don’t want to ruin your comfort.”

  “My comfort?” I huffed. “You’re the one that got shot. I’m fine. See?” I moved over to make a point. “I just got my head banged against the wall a couple of times.”

  He winced.

  “And almost raped,” I mumbled. It was the first time I was able to voice it since I’d woken up the previous night.

  Luckily for me, it was enough to make him jump off his seat and hold me. I crumbled under the comfort of his touch. He sat on the bed and held me tightly while I cried on his shoulder. When I finally calmed down, he inspected my face, my eyes, and the gash on the side of the head. He seemed satisfied with what he saw. Obviously, my head was sore, but the stiches on my left eyebrow were the only apparent wound on my face. His eyes went down to my stomach and then back to my eyes.

  “I want to see,” he ordered.

  I shook my head. I didn’t want him to see. He would freak out.

  “Abby.”

  “Why?” I argued even though I knew it was pointless.

  “I’m not asking you again.”

  I wanted to debate that it was exactly what he was doing but didn’t have enough energy to fight him. He raised his brow, so I sighed, pulled up my shirt, and showed him my bruises. The black and blue marks on my abdomen were an entirely different story: they were scary.

  He swore and teared up. “I’m so sorry, Angel. I should have been more alert. I should have done something more to—”

  “She would have killed one of us Tyler. You did enough, I pr
omise.”

  “Abby, I’m so, so sorry.” He was shaking.

  I pulled away and wiped the tears away from his distressed eyes. “Tyler, stop. You did more than what you could have ever done for me. This isn’t your fault. If anything, it’s mine. I should have locked the door—”

  “It wouldn’t have changed the outcome, you know that as much as I do. You would have let her inside regardless, Abby.” Part of what he said was true. I had no real reason to fear Nancy. She and I had always been polite to one another, but knowing that I was responsible for her son not living under her roof anymore, I probably should have been a bit more careful.

  “Thanks for calling the police when you did,” I said as I took his hands in mine.

  He smiled. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” I stared at our joined hands. The familiarity of Tyler’s touch was comforting.

  “Well, aren’t you two the sweetest couple,” Sandra commented as she walked in and handed me my painkillers. “Here you go. They should take a little longer to work since you’re not taking them by injection anymore, but in about half an hour or so you should start feeling better. If you don’t, just buzz the nurse’s station and I’ll come to see you.”

  We both watched her leave the room, and the second she passed the doorway, Tyler hopped off the bed. I got the sense that he felt as though he got caught doing something he wasn’t supposed to do.

  “Tyler, please don’t shut down on me.”

  “I’m not.”

  “Then come back and sit with me. I’m afraid I’m going to wake up from a bad dream and you’ll be dead again. I can’t go through another nightmare like that. Please.”

  “Your nightmares are about me?”

  I nodded, silently pleading with him again. Fortunately, my eyes were enough to have him sit back down on the bed with me. The safe distance he left between us aggravated me. I closed the distance by pulling on his good arm until he agreed to lean on the wall and hold me.

  “I’m sorry you got shot because of me.”

  “Abby, if I can’t take the blame for your injuries, you can’t either.”

  “Yeah, but if I hadn’t invited you over—”

  “I’m glad I was there, Abs. And the thought of me not being with you scares the shit out of me so much it keeps me up all night. Trust me: you’re not the only one with the nightmares.”

  I gave him an understanding nod and took his hand into mine.

  Tyler went quiet. His saddened eyes were drawn to the window. I followed his gaze wondering what was on his mind.

  “I’m sorry about Makayla, Abby.”

  Okay, so we’re really doing this now…

  “I should be sorry about Makayla,” I whispered. “If anything, I’m the one who drove you to her.”

  “Angel, whatever happened between us that night doesn’t excuse my actions. Whether you saw it or not, I knew what I was doing and I also knew it would hurt you when you found out. I made that choice because I was angry at you, and I’m sorry. Making out with Makayla shouldn’t have been the solution.” He played with a corner of the blanket on my unmade bed. “Abs, do you remember when we were alone at the beach the night Zoey got married?”

  How could I forget? It was the night I knew I’d break your heart…

  “You kept insisting that happily ever afters don’t exist.”

  I nodded.

  “I have to ask. Do you really not believe in love?”

  I looked at the ceiling, exhaled, and brought my eyes back to his. “I believe that love hurts. I believe that when you decide to open your heart to love, you also have to agree to the pain that it will eventually inflict.”

  “But it doesn’t have to be that way, Abby. Love and pain don’t automatically go together.”

  “Yes, Tyler, they do,” I answered. “Love fucking hurts. Whether you want it to or not, in the end, someone always ends up heartbroken.”

  “I loved you.”

  “And you think Oliver didn’t?”

  “I hate that you compare me to him. I wouldn’t have left you, and you know that. Abs, you were it for me.”

  “I know,” I sighed

  “Then I don’t understand.”

  “It’s complicated.”

  “It’s only complicated because you make it that way.”

  There was no arguing with him on that. In the end he was probably right.

  As we watched the heavy snow fall, neither one of us talked. I turned my head when I felt a warm drop fall on my hands. Tyler wasn’t looking outside; he was looking at me. As soon as my eyes met his, he leaned in and kissed me. I closed my eyes, lost in his tenderness. When he tore his lips away from mine, he leaned his forehead against mine and breathed heavily.

  “Tyler—”

  “I needed to make my goodbye count,” he interrupted sadly.

  My face fell and I choked on my next breath.

  Is it normal that this hurts so much?

  “We were angry the last time I kissed you.”

  I closed my eyes and remembered as he slammed the door in my face before he left for his party.

  I cried. “I know.”

  Man does this hurt…

  “Abby don’t—”

  “Ty,” I tried to hide my tears, but it was useless “I never meant to hurt you, and I hate that I did. But I need you to understand that everything I have ever felt for you was real, and it’s really important for me that you see that. I did love you, Tyler, just not the way you wanted me to. I tried. I swear I did. But when Oliver left home, he left with my heart. No matter how much I tried to hate him for leaving, I couldn’t, and I still can’t.”

  “How can you possibly still be in love with someone that abandoned you like he did?”

  “I wish I knew, but I don’t have answers for you. I told you.” I gave him a small smile. “It’s complicated.”

  He chuckled.

  “The only thing I do know is that deep down, I never stopped loving Oliver. Never. My heart always belonged to him. It wasn’t fair to you, I know, but it’s the truth. Tyler, you deserve more than someone who will only give you a shadow of herself.”

  “Angel—”

  I smirked at the nickname he kept giving me. “You keep calling me Angel. I’m not the angel, Tyler—you are. You always put me first. You were patient and caring and always attentive. You meant the world to me, and you still do.”

  “To be honest, Abs,” he pulled my hair away from my face and tilted my head up to his, “I always knew that there was never a real chance for us. I think that somewhere along the course of our relationship, part of me got lost in the hope that you’d forget about him. What we had was amazing, and though it wasn’t perfect, I guess my heart wished that one day you’d realize that I could be more than him. That I could be the person you wanted.”

  I wish you knew, Tyler Parker, how much more than him you are. I may not love you like I love him, but one day, I promise I’ll tell you how you saved my life.

  I smiled sadly and he took a seat on the chair beside my bed. I think he could tell that I was growing tired. I’m not sure if it was his soothing presence, the sense of closure or the medication, but my eyes were getting sleepy. He interlaced his fingers with mine while I lay down and wept.

  “Tell me about your nightmares, Angel,” he whispered

  I buried my head in my pillow.

  What good could I have possibly done in my life to deserve a guy like him?

  “If you talk about them, they’ll go away.”

  I laughed and sobbed at the same time. Whatever sound that came out of my mouth wasn’t pretty at all.

  “You can’t possibly believe that,” I mocked.

  “No,” he chuckled. “But if it can make you feel better, then it’s worth a try.”

  I locked my eyes on his. They were piercingly green and alive.

  “Every time I close my eyes, I see you. Sometimes, I see you on the ground bleeding. Other times, I see you getting beaten up, getting shot again and pul
led away from me. But the worst is when I see you lying there looking at me, but I can’t feel you anymore. I can feel my heart breaking in two. I can’t not have you in my life, Tyler,” I exhaled.

  He grinned. “Do you know what the best part of us is?”

  I shook my head.

  “We’re friends, for better or for worse. Abbygail Evens, trust me, I’m not going anywhere.”

  I smiled, and fell asleep to his rhythmic calm breathing.

  Sweet Dreams

  Abbygail

  When I woke up later that afternoon, Tyler was gone. Wiping away the tears from another nightmare, I turned to my side table and saw a blue gift-bag with a small card. I sat up and opened the envelope.

  I need to go see my mother this week. She flipped out when she found out I got shot. I won’t be around for a few days. When you open your gift, look at your eyes—they always tell the truth.

  Love doesn’t need to be painful, Abby.

  Merry X-Mas, Angel!

  Ty xxx

  I opened the gift bag. Inside was a picture of Oliver and me dancing together at Stephan’s bar. As I passed my fingers over the glass frame, I smiled. Tyler should have been a photographer, not a graphic artist. His pictures were always amazing, but what made them unique was his ability to capture emotions. He was right: my eyes didn’t lie. They showed exactly how I felt the moment I met Oliver’s stare. Friendship. Relief. Tenderness. Desire. Love.

  But love without pain? We’ll see...

  ···

  If I excluded the unfortunate visit from the police department demanding my recall of the events, the remainder of my day was pretty quiet. With the information Tyler had provided and the compromising position Nancy and her boyfriend were in when they got caught, both were charged with aggravated assault and attempted murder. The detectives didn’t know if they needed me to testify or not. Nevertheless, I gave them my cell phone number, and they said they’d be in touch.

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about Nancy spending so many years in jail or how Cole would react to the news. But in the meantime, she and her boyfriend were locked up awaiting trial. Oliver and Tyler were safe, and I needed to think about what outcome I wanted from her attack. I loathed the weight of the situation on my shoulders.