The Dating Game

by Susan Buchanan

  Determined to ask before she took another bite, she was on the verge of interrupting Gary to ask him, when someone beat her to it. She turned around to the female voice which said, ‘I thought you’d gone and left us,’ as Gary rose to greet her. Wondering who could be causing Gary to smile in such a way, and feeling a tiny bit jealous, even though she wasn’t sure why, Gill turned around and came face to face with the bride.

  ‘Of course not, Suzanne,’ Gary rose and kissed her warmly on the cheek, then gave her a hug.

  ‘So this must be Gill,’ the bride appraised her openly, ‘Lovely to meet you. Sorry didn’t see you earlier, but it’s been a bit of a day.’

  ‘It’s lovely to be here. Congratulations,’ Gill said mechanically. What else could she say? She hadn’t even known the bride’s name until twenty seconds ago.

  ‘Wife, are you leaving me already?’ a handsome man in his mid-forties wrapped his arms around his new bride and kissed her neck.

  ‘Stop getting fruity. There’s a time and a place I was just meeting Gill,’ she gestured to Gill, ‘Meet my husband, Billy. That still sounds strange.’

  Gill let him kiss her on both cheeks, and then congratulated him. Only as he pulled away, did she feel a little stab of recognition. He looked very familiar. As he slapped Gary on the back and they engaged in conversation, Gill realised why she had thought she recognised him – he was Gary’s double – a younger, heavier version. They must be brothers. Gary had invited her to his brother’s wedding!

  Breaking out in a cold sweat, Gill suddenly needed to get out of the room.

  ‘Are you all right?’ Suzanne asked her concerned.

  ‘I think I might just need a little air,’ said Gill.

  A worried Gary rose to help her and said, ‘I’ll come with you.’

  ‘No!’ it came out more vehemently than she intended. ‘I mean, I’m going to the Ladies’ first, to splash some water on my face. I won’t be long.’

  True to her word, Gill did go into the Ladies’, although she didn’t splash water on her face, as that would have ruined her makeup. Instead she took very deep breaths, trying to calm down. Why had Gary invited her to his brother’s wedding? And even more importantly, why hadn’t he told her that the groom was his brother?

  Taking her mobile from her bag, she checked there was no one in the cubicles and then dialled Debbie’s number. After five rings Debbie answered.

  ‘Debbie. I don’t know what to do. You’ll never believe where my surprise date with Gary is.’

  ‘Somewhere nice, I hope.’

  ‘Yes, it is. One Devonshire actually, but that’s not the point.’

  ‘One Devonshire. I’ve been dying to go there.’

  ‘Not under these circumstances you wouldn’t be,’ Gill said through gritted teeth.

  ‘Why, what’s wrong?’ Debbie noted the edge in her friend’s voice.

  ‘He’s only gone and invited me to his brother’s wedding.’

  ‘What? That’s where you are now?’ Debbie asked in disbelief.

  ‘Correct. What do I do?’

  Debbie said nothing for a minute. A tall, pretty girl came into the toilet. Gill smiled at her and moved to let her pass.

  ‘Unless you want to cause a scene, do nothing. You don’t want to create any animosity at a wedding. If I were you, I would try and enjoy myself, but make my excuses relatively early. Then I would either tell Gary you’re upset, or that what he has done isn’t the done thing, even if he had the best of intentions. Remember guys’ minds work differently from ours.’

  ‘You’re telling me,’ Gill muttered. ‘What the hell was he thinking? And to cap it all, he still hasn’t told me it’s a family wedding,’ Gill whispered the last part, aware that she was no longer alone in the toilets.

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I worked it out, because the groom is the spitting image of him, but Gary hasn’t actually told me,’ Gill paced up and down the Ladies’.

  ‘How odd. I wonder why not.’

  ‘Exactly. Anyway, the whole thing stinks.’

  ‘Do you think you can last the evening?’ Debbie asked.

  ‘I don’t know. I just about had a panic attack in there.’

  ‘Go back out there and see if you can handle it. If you can’t, tell him you feel ill, make your excuses, then leave.’

  ‘OK, thanks Debbie. I knew I could count on your sound advice – as always. Have a nice night and say hi to Gerry for me.’

  ‘Will do. Good luck.’

  Gill hung up, faced her reflection in the mirror and said, ‘You can do this,’ just as the young girl exited the toilet and said,

  ‘Great dress.’

  Gill mumbled a thanks and left. That was all she needed, other guests to think she was loopy.

  Returning to the table, she found Gary deep in conversation with Steph. The bride and groom had moved on to do their rounds.

  ‘Ah, you’re back,’ Gary said, relieved.

  ‘Was the prospect of meeting our family too much for you?’ Steph joked.

  Gill looked carefully at Steph, then at Gary, who was looking daggers at Steph.

  ‘Not at all, although Gary seems to have told you more about me than me about you.’

  ‘Nothing much to tell. I’m the elder by ten minutes. Isn’t that right, Gaz?’

  Gaz had turned an impressive shade of beetroot.

  ‘I, I, Gill, my sister is a right wind-up merchant. You’ll have to forgive her.’

  Steph, witnessing the colour Gill had turned, then sat back and laughed, ‘I don’t believe it. Gary, do you have no sense, at all?’

  Gill sat back, unsure what to say, and played nervously with the edge of the slightly wine-stained linen tablecloth.

  Gary looked at Steph and then at Gill, shamefaced.

  ‘Oh my God, I’m right, aren’t I? He didn’t tell you about us. He didn’t tell you it was his brother’s wedding, and he didn’t tell you he had a twin sister. Am I getting warm?’

  Now it was Gill’s turn to flush red.

  Steph turned on her twin, ‘Gary, you’re a half-wit. Gill, come with me. We need to get you another drink.’

  As Steph half-marched Gill to the makeshift bar, she put her arm gently on Gill’s and said, ‘Look, I’m sorry about my brother. He means well. He just doesn’t think. Sometimes I think I got all the common sense and he got the big heart. I know it’s a bit of a shock, but we’re a good clan really, and you’re here now, so why don’t we get to know each other and just enjoy ourselves?’

  With nothing to counter that with, Gill accepted the glass of wine proffered her, and when prompted, clinked glasses with Steph. ‘To my eejit brother.’

  ‘To your eejit brother!’

  Back at the table, Gary didn’t know where to look. Steph handed him the beer she’d brought him. Gary thanked her and said, ‘Steph, can Gill and I have a minute, please?’

  ‘Sure, but make sure it’s just a minute. I don’t want you scaring off my new friend,’ Steph winked at Gill, as she left the table and headed off to speak to some distant relatives.

  ‘Gill, I’m really sorry. I should have told you it was my brother’s wedding, but I wanted to take you somewhere really different and I thought if I told you, you’d think I’d asked you just so I had a date for it. And that absolutely wasn’t the case. As you can see, I managed through the wedding itself, and the meal without a date.’

  Part of Gill felt like saying ‘bully for you,’ but she refrained from commenting and let Gary continue.

  ‘I hoped that if you came here and enjoyed yourself, you might realise that we could have a good time together, that I wasn’t just some nerd.’

  ‘I didn’t think you were…’ Gill started to say, but Gary interrupted her,

  ‘Sorry, but I wouldn’t blame you if you did. I really like you, Gill, and I just wanted to have another chance at making a first impression.’

  ‘Well you certainly made an impression all right,’ but Gill was smiling.


  ‘Friends?’

  ‘Yes, friends.’

  ‘Great. Oh, here she’s coming back. What did you make of my twin?’

  ‘She’s a lot more forceful than you.’

  ‘Nah, she just doesn’t have my manners.’

  ‘Right, you two sorted?’ Steph asked. ‘Great, so, Gill, tell us all about yourself,’ she said, pulling up a chair. Gary rolled his eyes.

  With the air cleared, Gill started to enjoy the wedding and the company she was in. Relatives and friends of Gary and Steph popped by their table, and either stood or sat, for fifteen or twenty minutes at a time, catching up. Gill calculated there must have been around sixty to seventy people there. Not a huge wedding, but she gathered it would be costing a fortune, for such opulent surroundings.

  An hour later, with the tables cleared away, the ceilidh band started up to the strains of The Dashing White Sergeant. The bride and groom’s unusual choice of first dance was welcomed by all, and soon, everyone was up on the dance floor. Gill, at first, protested, but Murray, one of Gary’s friends, who she had been talking to latterly, wouldn’t take no for an answer. He taught her the steps as they danced and, after only a short time, she was twirling like an old hand. The Gay Gordons, an Eightsome Reel, a Military Twostep and a Strip the Willow later, and Gill was dying of thirst and perspiring in a most unladylike fashion. She excused herself to go to the toilet. Checking her face in the mirror, she saw her cheeks were flushed and her face aglow with happiness. Maybe tonight hadn’t been such a disaster after all.

  Chapter Thirty-Six

  Sunday 2nd October

  ‘Well at least you had a good time in the end,’ Debbie said.

  ‘Yeah, it was quite a good night, and they were a nice crowd. The sad thing is I think Gary and I could be good friends. There’s just no fizz.’

  ‘How do you mean?’

  ‘OK, let me spell it out. I’m not attracted to him, at all. He was wearing a kilt at the wedding for God’s sake. That in itself should have made me want to jump him!’

  ‘So are you seeing him again?’

  ‘I don’t know, Debbie. Not in that way. It doesn’t seem fair. I don’t mean to lead him on, but there simply isn’t any chemistry. If I went out with him again, isn’t that giving him hope?’

  Debbie thought this over for a second, ‘I suppose. God, why can’t we ever fancy the nice guys?’

  ‘Eh, you have Gerry.’

  ‘Yes, but apart from Gerry. Look at Angela and you, with some of your past boyfriends.’

  ‘I wish I knew,’ Gill said glumly.

  ‘So, what now?’

  ‘I don’t know. I’m seeing Charlie next Saturday. I haven’t got back to Sean yet.’

  ‘What, since he asked you to go bowling?’

  ‘Yeah, I haven’t replied to him yet.’

  ‘Gill, I know we’ve said to keep them keen, but you are actually supposed to get back to them at some stage.’

  ‘I know, but even with Sean, I don’t know what to do.’

  ‘OK, let’s get to the bottom of this. Anton’s the problem, isn’t he?’

  Gill said nothing.

  ‘Gill, I can’t see you down the phone, but I can sense you, and I know that Anton is the problem. Am I right?’

  Eventually Gill whispered, ‘Yes.’

  ‘Still no contact?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Well, what are you going to do about it?’

  ‘There’s nothing I can do about it. The guy shagged me and then never got back to me. End of.’

  ‘You don’t believe that.’

  ‘I didn’t believe that. Past tense,’ Gill sighed and sat down heavily on the sofa.

  ‘Is he back yet?’

  ‘He got back yesterday.’

  ‘Well, why don’t you wait until this evening and then send him a text asking how his trip went?’

  Gill chewed this over for a bit and then said, ‘OK, I’ll do that.’

  ‘There could be a number of reasons why he hasn’t e-mailed,’ Debbie reassured her.

  ‘I suppose. Thanks, Debbie. I’ll drop Sean an e-mail, too. I’ll go bowling.’

  ‘That’s my girl. Right, I’m being summoned to make the gravy. Yes Gerry, I’m coming. God, that man, sometimes! Let me know how you get on.’

  ‘I will. Enjoy your dinner.’

  ‘We will. I made it. Good luck!’ and Debbie hung up.

  Gill reclined on the sofa, unsure what to do. She couldn’t go on like this. She wanted to know where she stood with Anton, although she feared she already knew. It hurt badly to realise she’d been so taken in. She’d truly believed he’d felt something for her. Her thoughts tortured her for two hours, as she did mundane household tasks. At four o’clock, she caved and texted him. She tried to strike the right register, happy-go-lucky, but firm.

  ‘Hi Anton. Hope your trip to Belarus went well. Would love to hear about it, Gill.’

  Gill studied the message, read and re-read every word. Did it convey what she was trying to say? Yes, she thought so. If he had half a brain, and in her experience men had exactly that, he would get the subtext – why haven’t you called me?

  As Gill flicked on the TV, more for company than anything else, she continued to ponder her predicament with Anton. Too late she realised that she had fallen in love with him, and his rejection hurt like hell.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Monday 3rd October

  A sleepless night left Gill out of sorts on Monday morning. Not even the unusually fine weather could buoy her flagging spirits. She had fully expected to hear from Anton by now. Surely he wouldn’t ignore direct contact from her? Even if it were to say, ‘Sorry, I’m not interested.’ That would be better than this constant limbo. Who was she kidding? She’d be devastated if he replied to her with those words.

  In the office, Gill put on a brave face, not wanting to spoil everyone else’s mood, with her frustration and anger. She was angry now. How dare he sleep with her, promise to e-mail her, and then never get back to her? What a complete bastard! She’d fallen for the oldest trick in the book. Of course, men will say anything to get you into bed. She’d lowered her guard with Anton and he’d let her down in stellar fashion. She wouldn’t cry. He wasn’t worth it. She had a business to run. So, she’d pour her energies into her company.

  At lunchtime, Gill took the plunge and texted Sean.

  ‘Hi Sean. Sorry not been in touch. Bowling sounds good. When can you make it? Gill.’

  ‘Angus, I’m going to the accountant’s. Can you tell Janice I’ll grab some lunch on the way and then work from home?’

  ‘Sure, no problem. Anything else you need me to do this afternoon, when you’re out?’

  ‘No, just as we discussed, thanks,’ and with that Gill left the office, traipsed down the steps, and got into her car.

  Traffic was notably heavier this lunchtime. Gill hoped there were no roadworks. She wanted time to stop for lunch at the little delicatessen round the corner from her accountant.

  As she sat in traffic, frustrated, her thoughts turned to Angus. That boy had been a real find. He was amiable and thorough - both qualities important to her in a colleague. As the traffic crawled forward, Gill smiled to herself, thinking at least that part of her life was going well. Suddenly the traffic broke away and Gill followed. Too late, she saw the car crossing the junction. Brakes screeching, gears crunching, Gill swerved and almost managed not to hit it – but still she clipped its rear. Shaking and furious at herself for not noticing the lights had changed to red, she climbed out of the car. The driver of the Astra she had pranged, unfolded his legs and got out of his car. At least he’s OK.

  ‘Are you…?’ Gill began then stopped. ‘You!’

  ‘Ah, it’s the bag snatch girl,’ the man smiled, despite not having yet checked the damage to his car.

  ‘What are you doing here?’ Gill managed after several failed attempts at speech.

  ‘I live in Maryhill,’ the man who had rescued her bag in Barce
lona said.

  ‘I can’t believe it. Of all the people I could run into, no pun intended, I run into you.’

  ‘Small world.’

  Cars started honking all around them, bringing them back to the fact that they were blocking one of Glasgow’s busiest intersections.

  ‘Tell you what. Why don’t we move the cars over there,’ the man pointed to some nearby parking spaces, ‘and then we can assess the damage?’

  ‘OK, sounds good,’ which afterwards she thought was a bizarre thing for her to say, given she’d just ploughed into her rescuer’s car. Really, what were the chances of meeting him again?

  Gill drove her car over to one of the free spaces, locked it, then stood on the pavement waiting for Barcelona Man to park. She didn’t even know his name. As he manoeuvred into the space, she saw that his colour coordinated bumper had a slight dent in it. Even though it was only small, Gill knew it could be expensive to fix. Briefly she wondered if he would let her pay for the repairs rather than put it through her insurance, which would surely affect her premiums.

  Barcelona Man got out of his car and said, ‘Let’s see what the damage is.’

  He didn’t seem the slightest bit fazed by the fact she’d crashed into his car. Gill found her voice, ‘Sorry, I don’t even know your name.’

  ‘Oh, it’s Liam,’ he said, holding out his hand, ‘Liam Gotobed.’

  ‘You’re kidding! Gotobed?’

  ‘Yeah, yeah, I’ve heard it all before.’

  Recovering herself, Gill said, ‘Nice to meet you. I’m just sorry it’s always under such awful circumstances.’

  ‘But at least we did meet,’ he said, holding her gaze.

  There was such warmth in his look, it made Gill melt.

  ‘Right, I don’t think it’ll take much to sort this. A mate of mine has a body repair shop in Bishopbriggs. I’m sure he could fix it pretty cheaply.’

  ‘So we’re OK not to go through the insurance?’ Gill asked hopefully.

  ‘I think so,’ he walked around the car, ‘I don’t see any other damage, but I’ll have it checked out. Sometimes being shunted can cause damage underneath, which you can’t see straightaway.’