An American Love Story

by C. S. Moore

  "She took off; some horses get spooked pretty easy. I could kill that horse," he growled.

  "Well, she's your brother's horse, so you better not."

  "How can you joke? For a second, I thought I was going to lose you… and I just found you!" he said searching my face.

  What did he mean he just found me? "Really, I'm fine."

  He ran a hand down my back. "Do you mind if I take a look?" he asked, tugging at my shirt.

  "Sure, just don't get any funny ideas."

  He smiled and pulled the back of my shirt up; his rough finger tips inspected the skin. "I have a few ideas, but none of them are funny," he said continuing to caress me, sending my heart into overdrive. I winced in a few places. "You're going to be sore, probably going to bruise," he said muffling a curse. "I'm so sorry, Tessa."

  "It's all right," I said, although he looked unconvinced. "Let's go find that horse."

  Rojo didn't go far, and we had him tethered to Garrett's horse in less than fifteen minutes. I still didn't want to ride her, so Garrett put me in his saddle with him. His thick arms were on either side of me, and even after what I'd just experienced, I felt perfectly safe. He decided to go straight home; apparently, I wasn't going to be hand fed strawberries.

  When he had the horses put away and the saddles hung in the tack room, he helped me off of the fence I was perched on. "I'm sorry that didn't go as planned," he said.

  "Me too," I pouted.

  "If you're upset and want me to take you home, I will. But I'm a little worried about your head. You could have a concussion. You need to go to a hospital or have your dad keep an eye on you," he said, his head hanging low.

  "I'm not upset, and I don't want to go to a hospital or home." I shuddered to think what my worry wart dad would do if he found out. He would be unbearably overbearing. "I was just looking forward to your picnic, especially the strawberries," I said.

  "Are you sure you don't need a hospital?" he asked.

  "I'm positive."

  "Well, I'll be keeping an eye on you," he said.

  "I'm sure you will." I winked. "Now are you going to feed me or not?"

  "Let's hop in the truck. It won't buck us off if a snake's in the road," he said.

  We drove back through the small town and Garrett pulled to a stop in front of the tiny grocery store. "I'll be right back," he said.

  "What, I have to stay here?"

  "I'll be back." He leaned in and pecked me on the cheek. "Bye!"

  He was in and out in a flash and threw the grocery bag in the back of the truck with the picnic basket. "Okay, now we can go," he said.

  ****

  Garrett took me to a clearing that overlooked the whole valley. He spread out the picnic stuff in the bed of his truck on top of a thick blanket.

  "Your mother is a great cook," I said picking up my second piece of cornbread.

  "She is, and to top it all off," he said, turning to the grocery bag behind him. "Strawberries!" The carton of berries he pulled out of the bag looked perfectly ripe.

  My mouth watered.

  "They won't be as good as the wild ones would have been, but I didn't want you to miss out," he said, handing one out to me.

  He meant for me to take it with my hand, but I leaned forward and took it with my mouth, making my daydream become reality.

  His eyes widened and he dropped the carton, after only a second's hesitation, he crushed into me. His lips found mine, and they moved in time together perfectly.

  "Tessa," he whispered against my lips making me shiver. "Do you have any idea what you do to me?" he asked.

  What I did to him? What about what he did to me? For nine months, I'd hoped for a man to come along and make me forget Phil's name and Garrett made me forget my own name. When he kissed me, it took everything in me to remember to breathe. He was all that I wanted in those moments, even more than air.

  His palm cupped my face and tilted my head back. "You are so gorgeous." His breath came out in a rush. "Too gorgeous…" he said pulling away from me. "I need to get you home."

  I grabbed his arm. "I don't want to go," I whispered. "I leave tomorrow, you leave tomorrow…"

  He winced like I had slapped him. "I have to take you home, Tessa," his gravelly voice pled.

  "Stay," I said putting my hand on his chest.

  He raised both hands into the air like I was holding a gun to him. "Do you have any idea what I want to do to you right now? All I want is to—" He took a deep breath.

  I put my hand over his mouth. "Okay, I promise I'll let you take me home in a little while. Let's just lie here together until the stars come out," I said.

  "We'll stay, but stop kissing me like that. A man's only got so much self-control," he said, still breathing hard.

  "All right," I said feeling a strange mix of embarrassment and empowerment pump through me.

  He lay down on the blanket and pulled me down with him. I watched the sky darken while I lay in his arms. The first star appeared and my eyes felt heavy. The next thing I remember was Garrett shaking me awake.

  "Tessa?"

  When I pulled my eyes open, the entire night's sky was lit with stars. They never looked so bright or numerous from the city, but up here in the mountains they were a wonder to behold.

  "We need to get going before your dad sends the deputies out hunting for me," he smiled, and it was the single greatest thing to be woken up with.

  "All right," I sighed.

  "Don't worry, I'll come by in the morning before I leave for California," he promised.

  Chapter Ten

  I hadn't had a nightmare since I met Garrett, yet I got no sleep. Not because of some made-up scenario, but because of the reality that was tomorrow. It could be the end of us. I might never see him again after that.

  At seven o'clock sharp there was a rap at the door; my heart sank. He wasn't supposed to be here until eight. I wasn't ready to say goodbye. The knock sounded again, and I realized it was on my bedroom door.

  "Come in," I said.

  "Hey, baby sister," dad said, walking in with two mugs of coffee clenched precariously in one hand.

  "Hi, Dad," I said trying to reel back the emotion my departure was bringing out of me; I didn't want to leave my friends and family behind again. What had I done it for in the first place? It seemed stupid now. How could I want to be alone?

  "Tough day?" he asked, sitting in my armchair.

  "Yes," I said.

  "For me too," he said. "What's going to happen with you and Garrett?"

  "It looks like there isn't going to be a me and Garrett." My chest felt like it was in a vice.

  "Why not?" he asked.

  "I'm going back to Utah; he's going to a job in Cali, and after that back to Washington. How could there be anything but miles between us?" I asked.

  "You like him," he said. It wasn't a question.

  "Yes."

  "Does he like you?" he asked.

  "Yes, probably more than he should. What's the point? We can't be together, so why hurt ourselves by prolonging the inevitable?" I asked.

  "There are windows of opportunity in life, Tessa, and they close quickly sometimes. Well, this is one. You met a guy that you hit it off with," he said, grabbing my shoulders. "When you came back from that first date, you were floating! I swear; ask your mother. We were both astonished." He released me. "You can choose to let that window close or see where this open window leads you."

  "Dad, it's not like I want this to end. I don't. I haven't ever felt so strongly about a man, not even Phil. But I can't let myself build a life around someone else and follow them wherever they're going. I need to worry about my life, or when it ends, I'll have nothing just like when it ended with Phil!" The tears in my eyes spilled onto my cheeks.

  "How do you know it will end? Just because your last relationship did doesn't mean that this one will too — if you have feelings for this guy, take a leave of absence from work and see where it goes. He's here for a month. That job of yours i
s just that – a job. It isn't a career. It's not worth losing something that could be great," he said.

  He stood from the chair and handed me my cup. "Just think about it, Tessa. I want you to be happy."

  He left my room, and I tried to wipe the running mascara from my face before Garrett showed up.

  By the time the next knock sounded, I was cleaned up and packed. I wasn't ready to go, but that didn't change the fact that I needed to. Opening the door was surreal and gave me the oddest sense of déjà vu. Was it really just four days ago that I met him? Garrett took up the entry just as he had when I first laid eyes on him, only today, it was raining buckets and his hair looked darker soaked in water.

  "Hi, Garrett—"

  "Move to Washington!" he interjected.

  "What?" I squeaked.

  He wiped the water from his face. "Move to Washington. I know how that sounds, but I'm not ready for this to be over—"

  I felt my cheeks redden. "I'm not the kind of girl that would move in with—"

  "No," he interrupted. "That's not what I meant, get your own apartment; you don't want to be here fine — move to Washington. There's nothing for you in Utah. You haven't started school there —" he stopped. "I just want you to be where I am, I can't say goodbye today, not a real one-not one that means I'll never see you again."

  "I can't move to Washington; I'm sorry. I don't want this to be goodbye either. Maybe you could come down to Utah and visit me after your job in Cali?" I said. I knew I was just prolonging it; a goodbye would happen when he had to leave and go back to Fort Lewis — but it couldn't be here and now. Not when he was pleading with me as much as my own heart.

  "Do you want me to?" he asked.

  "Yes, so you better get that job done quickly." I hugged him and he pulled me into a kiss, soaking my clothes.

  He pulled away, leaving me breathless. "Not goodbye, see you later," he said.

  "See you later, Garrett," I whispered.

  He walked back out into the rain and I thought about chasing him, but what was there left to say? I could do what my dad suggested and take a leave of absence, but could I stick my neck out there like that for someone again? Could I risk building my life around Garrett?

  No, we'd just have to see each other when he visited me in Utah. He seemed eager to take the drive just to see me. I wondered if he wasn't legally tied to the Army, if he would take the risk and move his life for me. I didn't know the answer to that.

  When I saw his red truck disappear into the falling rain, I shut the door.

  ****

  With all of the goodbyes out of the way, I drove through the rainstorm, hoping that it would pass quickly and not follow me all the way to Utah. But my mood called for the rain, and I thought the cloud might follow me for good measure just to teach me a lesson. How could I let Garrett leave without telling him what I was feeling? I knew it had only been four days and it was ridiculous even to me, but I couldn't deny the fact if I wanted to.

  I was in love with him.

  I didn't know how it happened, but as my dad always liked to say; it is what it is. And that's what it was.

  The song blaring from my phone cut off as a call came in. I looked at the screen. Garrett's picture flashed across it.

  I answered quickly. "Hello."

  "Tessa," he said. "I can't stop thinking about you; every mile I put between us hurts. It's like I left my heart there with you."

  "I feel the same way…" I slowed the car and pulled to the side of the road. "Garrett, I love you."

  The line was quiet and my heart skipped a beat, but then he spoke.

  "I love you too; I can't believe you said it before me. I wanted to tell you at your house, but I was worried you'd think I was crazy — it's only been four days," he said, his voice thick with excitement.

  "So you thought you'd ask me to move to Washington instead?" I teased.

  "Well, to be fair I thought about asking you that on our first date, but I held it in for quite a while. I'm proud of myself," he said. "I'll let you go; be careful driving in this rain."

  "I will," I promised.

  "See you soon, baby. I love you," he said.

  "I love you too."

  The line disconnected, and I stared at the phone in my hand. I just told Garrett I loved him, and if that wasn't crazy enough… he said he loved me too. Did that really just happen?

  I pulled back into the street. The windshield wipers were set on max, but they barely kept the road visible.

  If we loved each other, did that make a difference? Or would it just make it harder to say goodbye at the end of his visit? If there was one thing I learned with Phil it was to build your life on your terms. Chase what you wanted because being selfless was all well and good until you woke up one day and realized that you were a floor mat caked in dirt. I didn't think I could live through another one of those relationships; the last one nearly sucked the life out of me. Garrett breathed life into me; he had changed me for the better in four short days — and according to his Mom, I did the same for him. We rescued each other.

  Could I risk my fragile heart for him?

  The rain calmed and I slowed my wipers.

  "Lord," I whispered feeling foolish; I hadn't prayed for so long. I sighed and pushed through. "Just give me a sign, I need some guidance… my head and my heart have both gotten me into trouble before. So please, give me a sign."

  Just as I turned onto the on ramp, a car cut me off — almost clipping me. I slammed on my breaks and grumbled as the smell of burnt rubber reached my nose. When the speed racers were out of my way, I followed them down to the freeway. We were halfway down when a smile stretched across my face.

  Attached to the back of the car in front of me were Washington plates.

  Epilogue

  Five Years Later

  I sat in my office chair, too distracted by the view to write on my work-in-progress. Outside of my window, in the distance, Garrett was carrying a bale of hay to the barn. He was in his work jeans and a white T-shirt, his muscles flexed under the weight. Even in his grubby clothes, he was just as handsome as the first time I laid eyes on him… and he still took my breath away on a regular basis.

  He turned and smiled at the three year old running after him, her blonde hair tied back into pig tails. His eyes met mine, and he blew me a kiss before carrying on.

  Because of him, I knew what it was like to have someone look at me like I was more vital than air… and I knew how it felt to have a spark that would never die.

  Also from C.S. Moore:

  Prologue

  A smile danced across Amanda’s innocent round face as she bounded, her dark brown hair blowing in the breeze. She was playing hopscotch and singing a childish tune while both sweet and stern-faced nuns pecked around the play yard like the hens that they were.

  “Hop,” Amanda sang, putting too much emphasis on the letter P. She brought her boney elbows in and bounced off one foot.

  “Eee,” she said, swaying a little as she landed on two feet.

  “Scotch,” she said, bouncing off with all her might. Where she landed wasn’t on the playground at all, and no one noticed her leave. Instead of the number nine square she was aiming for, Amanda found herself falling through suffocating darkness.

  ****

  With a shrill chirp, the dreaded bell that ended recess sounded, and all came to their seats, save one. Sister Wesley was the first to notice her absence. Amanda wasn’t one of the children who was usually late. After ten minutes had passed, she stood from her desk and crossed the small classroom to the cool single paned windows. The playground was deserted, not one child had lingered behind to enjoy its merriment. The chains of the swings rattled a bit in the breeze, but Amanda wasn’t on any of them.

  A chill took Sister Wesley as she realized that one of her students was gone. The hallway of the old building turned into a snowstorm of white and black robes. Teachers flew up and down the halls calling for a search party.

  ****

/>   Two hours after beginning the search, Father Benton found the missing child in the woods just beyond the fence. When he came upon the girl, he immediately crossed himself and spoke a quick prayer.

  The small child was crouched down in a good-sized hole that she had apparently dug with nothing more than her bloodstained hands. She looked more like an animal than a girl, covered in a mixture of sweat and dirt and shouting hysterically as she clawed at the ground.

  He stood a moment, frozen in shocked horror before he rushed toward her. Father Benton lifted her up, gently pulling the tiny thing into his arms. She tried to fight him off, throwing her weight around and kicking her skinny legs.

  “Amanda, calm down. Everything is okay. You’re safe. I will help you,” he promised.

  She relaxed, but as he started to walk away with her still in his arms, she lashed out, slapping his face hard enough to sting. In his momentary surprise, she wriggled out of his grasp and ran back to the hole she’d been digging.

  “No, I can’t leave him. Not there, not there,” she screamed.

  He cried out as one of her little finger nails ripped away from its home and lodged itself into the dirt that she was trying desperately to move. She didn’t seem to notice his cry or the pain that she must have felt. I can’t imagine what has happened to her. She was always such an angel. He knelt beside her, moving slowly so he wouldn’t frighten the little girl.

  “Amanda, what are you doing? Tell me how to help you,” he said.

  She ignored him and persisted with the terrible scratching.

  He continued to talk to her, hoping something would snap her out of this mental fit. “Amanda? Did someone take you from the playground? Has someone hurt you?” he asked, fearing the worst.

  “No.” She answered quickly but didn’t look up. However abrupt her answer, he was happy to hear her voice.