by G. Bailey
“Yes,” I answer, my mouth feeling dry all of a sudden.
“I would do anything for you,” he promises. “Anything.”
“That’s not what I meant, Pitch. I want to know things like where you are from? Are you all fae or are you part human? Are you a creature or a demon? I want to know the truth about you because the older I get, the more conflicted I am about what we are to each other, and it all feels wrong somehow.”
“This feels wrong, Corvina?” He crawls over to me, placing his hands on the tub at either sides of my shoulders. Droplets of water slide down his chest, urging me to lick them off him.
But licking him would be a bad thing right now.
Right?
“Being with you doesn’t, but not knowing you does,” I answer as he leans down into me. His lips trace softly against mine, not applying much pressure but making my body shudder and ache for him all the same.
“Then just be with me.” His breath fans down my cheeks, his lips just centimeters away from my own. “Let’s not question anything more about each other.”
“I question everything, Pitch,” I whisper back.
“I know. It’s one of the reasons why I’m addicted to you.”
And then he’s pulling me into him, and he’s kissing me hard, his soft lips gentle and powerful at the same time. His wet body towers over my own as I lock my arms around his neck and climb into his lap. He grabs my legs and wraps them around his waist, deepening our kiss until I’m just putty in his arms.
My shadow always feels so real to me and yet so distant. It’s the most beautiful torture in the world—a pain I could never be without.
I moan as his hard cock presses into my thigh, and I so wish he would move a few inches over to press into my core. The second I slowly slide my hand down his chest, he stops me, just like he always does. Before it becomes more than kissing, Pitch releases me and sinks back into the water.
“Why do you never let us go any further?” I question, my heart racing just from his kiss.
“Because when I’m inside you for the first time, Corvina, I will be real.”
I’m no saint and I’ve done things I am not proud of.
Things that are unerasable.
Things that make me every bit the Dark Fae I truly am deep down.
I can hide in shadows, but I can’t hide from my past or what I did to Corvina the night I led her into the wishing well.
I was a foolish and naive young faeling, misled by a cruel mentor who sought vengeance for his queen, and I thought that by taking Corvina’s powers before she even discovered them, my future would be safe.
My mentor claimed it was a noble act of bravery.
I would be written into the Book of Heroes.
Take her to the wishing well and our kingdom will be saved by your hand alone.
Yet when I saw her dying in that well, I couldn’t just stand there and watch.
So I jumped in after her and we both died that night. We both lost parts of us that are irreplaceable. But it was a sacrifice that means nothing to me now.
All I cared about was saving her.
She’s now an extension of myself and I know her better than anyone. I also know that she’s growing tired of my stubbornness. I grin as she drags me out of the water and gives me that obstinate pout of hers. Of course she wouldn’t let me go just like that. I’ve spent too many years avoiding having this discussion with her, not because I want to, but because the answers she seeks will endanger her life.
No matter how deeply I want to tell her the truth, I cannot risk her safety.
Her life means more to me than anything.
“You can’t avoid this forever,” she says, crossing her arms. “Tell me something, Pitch…please?”
I stare into her eyes, unable to escape the horror I see there. “I don’t want you to get hurt again.”
She blinks at my answer, probably not expecting it. “Again? Nobody will hurt me. I’m a big girl now.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you anything. It’s that I’m afraid of what will happen if I do.”
“Things are only going to get more complicated,” she counters, uncrossing her arms and settling back in the water. “I’ve felt your possessiveness over me lately, Pitch, ever since I came to this academy. You know that no one will ever replace how I feel about you, don’t you?”
Now it is my turn to be surprised by her honesty. Her openness has always been something I’ve marveled about her. It’s just another of her many addicting traits.
“If any of them hurt you like I did--”
“Pitch, enough! We’ve been through this a thousand times. You never meant to hurt me that night. You sacrificed yourself to save me, didn’t you?”
“Yes.”
“And you never knew I’d die, right? That we both would?”
“Of course I didn’t.”
“Then I will say this until I am blue in the face… I. Forgive. You.” She crawls through the water over to me, bringing her mouth just inches from my own. “Do you know how frustrating it is to have feelings for someone you sometimes wonder is even real?”
I chuckle, caressing the side of her face and wrapping my other hand around her waist. “I’ve told you that one day I will be real and everything will change.”
Right now, I’m merely her shadow. I want to be more than that. I want to protect her, to love her as my true fae self, and should any mates join her, I want to make sure that none of them makes the same mistake that I did.
As for my background and where I come from… If I tell Corvina the truth, her life will change only for the worse. People will want to take her from me and destroy every ounce of good inside her soul. I’d rather die again, forever, than endure that.
There aren’t many people in our world like Corvina. She has the kind of softness in her heart that the rest of the world has been unable to harden.
“Then what are you, Pitch? Tell me.”
After a strained moment, I tell her, “I’m a Dark Fae who used to be a prince.”
She pauses, her eyes widening. “A Dark Fae Prince?”
“Used to be. I am no longer of that title.” Trailing my fingers down the side of her face, I tell her, “My only purpose in this world now is to protect you. The world I used to be part of…it no longer exists as it once did. It doesn’t matter to me. Your safety, your happiness, however? Those are my only concerns.”
She sits on my lap, leaning her face into my caress. “Did you lose everything that night, too?”
I don’t want to lie to her, so I say instead, “I left it all behind me.”
And it’s the truth.
I did leave it all behind. I wouldn’t have been able to stay with Corvina if I hadn’t. I wouldn’t have earned her forgiveness over the years. I wouldn’t have grown to love her with every ounce of my darkened soul. I wouldn’t be able to protect her as I am trying to do now, but sometimes failing to get that across.
“It is hard for me to share you with others,” I say, surprised to hear those words come from my own lips.
“Why?” she asks quietly.
“Because I’m not sure I can stand to see your heart broken again.”
Tears fall from her lashes and she smiles, leaning down to press a kiss on my cheek. “Trust me,” she breathes, kissing my jaw, then the edge of my lips, “my heart can’t be broken more than twice.”
I grab her neck and pull her closer, kissing her lips with ferocious hunger. She leans back, tangling her fingers in my hair, and returns the kiss with equal amounts of ravenous desire. It takes every scrap of willpower not to fuck her right here and now. But I want…need to be real for her, and for me, before doing that. If I mate with Corvina, I’ll bind our souls in a different way, and this time I want her to be the one who chooses.
First, I need to untether our souls and become real for her.
Only then can I choose her as my mate, and I hope, despite everything I caused her, she chooses me in return.
I will stand at her side with the rest of her mates, proud to be chosen. I will protect her soul and heart to my last breath. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her.
She pulls back, her pupils blown with lust. “What do you say we go for a run like old times?”
I nod, and she stands from the bathtub, her beautiful body glistening before me, and leaps onto the floor. Before her feet touch the floor, she transforms into an ebony wolf with glowing sapphire eyes. I shift into my shadow wolf and follow her outside.
I might not be a saint, but Selena knows that I will fight to the death to protect Corvina.
The next day, I discover that our History of Magics teacher is not what I expected. I suppose I thought he’d be like all the other wizards I used to read about in the books in our foster home’s sad excuse for a library. You know, the century-old bearded fellas with half-moon spectacles, a pointy hat, and a robe that just about covers their gonads. Well, not this silver fox. The only thing those books got right is that Professor Mune does indeed have a beard, but it’s neatly trimmed and curled at the lip. He looks more like a bodybuilder than a teacher. A fact that Izora seems delighted about.
His classroom has to be my favorite so far. It’s the library in the top of the north tower in the Upper Half of the castle. Every inch of the walls is shrouded in ancient books that stretch up to the domed ceiling. An assortment of benches decorates the floor and the stained-glass windows shoot prisms and rainbows across them. Just when I think I’ve got this academy sussed out, it throws another curveball like this that takes my breath away. I can’t believe I never scouted the library out on my first day. You’d think that would’ve been my first port of call. Not to mention that the librarian also happens to be our silver fox history teacher, who looks like a sexy Santa Claus that secretly runs a BDSM joint in his free time. I mean, really? Because damn, I’m already down for that.
Leaning against the front of his desk, Professor Mune watches each of us filter into the room, his arms crossed over his powerful chest. His shirt sleeves are rolled up, showing his tattooed arms, and the few undone buttons at the top hint at white tufts of hair on his extremely muscular chest. I bet that guy could crush a skull between his thighs.
“Over here,” Izora whispers, leading me and Sage over to the smallest of benches hidden away in the corner. We can still see the professor waiting for everyone to settle down. I think Izora likes him a little too much. At this angle, the professor’s ass is pressed against his desk, giving a good view, and Izora can’t take her eyes off him.
I’m more fixated on the beautiful blue moon hovering behind him like a glass screen. I wonder what that does?
“The Enchanted Forest is a place of wonder,” Professor Mune starts off, his hoarse voice deep and husky. “It’s also a place of blood and warfare. Who here knows what caused The Undoing of the Enchanted Forest?”
Kione, a petite girl who knows everything about anything, shoves her hand into the air.
Professor Mune smiles at her. “Kione. I knew you wouldn’t disappoint. Go on, then. Who caused it?”
Kione beams up at him. “It was because of the Dark God, sir, the God of Darkness.”
“Incorrect. There was a dark force long before that crept in Hades’ shadow.”
Kione shrinks in her chair, and her face turns beetroot. I don’t think she’s used to being wrong.
“Good luck next time, Brains,” someone snarls at her. I don’t know his name yet since he hasn’t given me a reason to remember it. I do, however, know he hangs around with Jonah like he’s the best thing since sliced bread.
Sage twirls a burst of magic between her fingers, debating on whether or not to hex him.
“We already have detention on Sunday,” I remind her, and she sighs.
“Yeah. I just hate bullies.”
“Me too,” Izora mutters, placing her elbow on the table and dipping her chin into her palm. “But Adam will get what’s coming to him. I’ll make sure of it.”
Adam Smadam. I think I’ll just call him Dickface. It suits him better.
“Eris,” I say, lifting my hand. “She was jealous of the Zorya Sisters and gave Danica the Apple of Discord. Hades only waged war because, in the end, it was his wife who died. It drove him to insanity.”
Jonah turns around in his seat to glare at me. “Does losing his wife really justify what he did to all the innocent people he killed?”
I glare back at him. “I never said that. What I meant is that Hades was…is the God of Darkness. He might not have been the one to plant the seed, but he definitely contributed to The Undoing, so Kione isn’t totally wrong.”
Jonah scoffs and turns back around. “Spoken like a true nerd.”
“Enough now. Miss Charles, you are right. It was the Eris and the Apple of Discord that planted the seed in what would become the nature of our very existence.” Pushing off the chair and gesturing to the glass moon, he adds, “This here was built from the very shard Selena used to build the Fountain of Mene. It can show you whatever you most desire. It can also display any event in the history of the Enchanted Forest. All it requires is a wish.”
A wave of nausea rushes into me. A wish? The last wish I made turned my world upside down.
Professor Mune stands in front of the glass. “I wish to see the arrival of this year’s freshmen students.”
The blue transforms into a smokey black before the tendrils clear, and there on the screen are twenty students being ushered into the assembly hall. The images are as clear as day. I try so desperately hard to focus on them, to drown out the memories of the wishing well threatening to invade my mind, but it’s so, so hard when the darkness is clawing at my insides.
Professor Mune’s words are barely audible as I lean over the table, trying not to draw any attention while I struggle to breathe.
What’s happening? I’ve not had a panic attack like this in months…
“…doesn’t look so well,” Professor Mune says, though I don’t know why or to whom. A large hand gently presses my shoulder and I snap my head up to see the professor peering down at me. “Miss Charles, are you alright?” he whispers.
I just stare at him, my breathing constricting in my throat. He signals to Sage and before I know it, I’m led out from the library through a secret door buried in the shelves. Despite being unable to breathe, I’m thankful nobody saw us leave. The last thing I want to face later is having caused a scene.
The instant we step into the corridor, I hunch over and breathe heavily in through my nose, out through my mouth, just like I was taught…
You’re going to be alright, sweetie. It was only a bad dream.
“M-mum?” I choke out, surprised to hear her voice. I never hear her voice anymore! Is she here? Is she with me again? I can’t see anything…everything’s so foggy and grey and tightening… in my chest… I can’t breathe. “Mum!”
“Corvina!” Sage shouts, shaking me. “I need help! Someone, please help us!”
I’ve never heard Sage so terrified before. It kills me. But I can’t help it. Can’t breathe. Need…need to sit down.
The ground sways underneath me as I fall to my knees, unable to stand a moment longer. Sage helps to settle me against the wall and then she’s in front of me, tucking my hair behind my ears, hushing and soothing me like she often does when I have nightmares. She’s speaking but I can’t hear the words that are coming out of her mouth. I simply close my eyes and focus on my breathing. There’s a lotus flower in my chest, its petals opening and closing in time with my breathing. It’s the only coping mechanism the therapists taught me that actually works. Slowly but surely, my heart stops thrashing in my ears, and I can hear again.
I take another few deep breaths before daring to open my eyes.
And Sage is no longer the only one comforting me.
Gage is kneeling at my side, and it’s his arm snaking around my waist to help me stand up.
And then there’s a puff of smoke and I’m standing in the doorway of G
age’s office.
I let him guide me over to the sofa by the fire. Now that my panic attack has gone away, I feel a little stupid and embarrassed. I follow Gage with my eyes over to the other side of the office. He busies himself behind a cabinet I can’t see over, and when he comes back, he’s holding a silver tray with two cups of tea and an extra cup of sugar cubes.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asks quietly, not looking up as he sets the tray down on the coffee table.
I grab my arms and rub them, strangely cold despite being near a blazing fire. “Not really. I’m okay now.”
He nods. “Drink this. It’ll help.”
I take the cup from him and sniff the milky tea. What if he’s put something in it? I already know how stupid that sounds in my head. I also don’t think Gage is the kind of person to break my trust by slipping me a truth serum. Plus, I believed him when he said he wanted to earn my trust.
“I always feel like a cup of tea can solve just about anything,” he says, noticing my close scrutiny. “Perhaps it’s because I’m British.”
I don’t drink it, but I smile at him at least, thankful for the gesture. “You don’t sound very British.”
“Years of training. I came from London, originally, but when I arrived here as a little boy, nobody could understand a single word I said. My adoptive father taught at this school and he wanted me to study here. It was better than spending the rest of my life under Keeper Inglis. Nasty fellow. Terrible temper.”
I can’t believe it. Gage was a shadowborn orphan like me? I never would’ve thought that. “So you grew up in foster care?”
I watch him nod and sip his tea. “The exact same one that you did. And I know just how awful those homes can be for people like us.”
“Like us…?” I echo, clenching the cup in my hand.
“Shadowborns who don’t want to be a shadowborn.” He flicks his eyes over at me, the china cup still pressed to the edge of his lips. “It’s why I started working here in the first place. I understand more than anyone how the kids here feel. How you feel, Corvina. Trapped. Alone. Robbed of your future and what should have been. I get it. I felt the same way, too. But it does get better.”