Deceptive Secrets

by RM Walker

  “What exactly do you think I’m talking about?” he asked.

  “I’m not big enough for you. You got the book to see why I hadn’t developed and to see what could help to make them grow bigger.”

  He gaped at her. “What the—? When did I say that? I never said that. That’s not why I got the book. What are you on? Have you been sniffing your mum’s paints?”

  “Nate!”

  “I got the bloody thing, so I could find out exactly how to get you off. But it doesn’t cover that, so I still don’t know a fucking thing.”

  “What?” She sank back, her mouth hanging open. “Oh.”

  “You think I don’t like your boobs?” Where on earth did she get that idea from? It wasn’t that long ago he couldn’t keep his hands off her and ended up ripping of her shirt and poking himself in the eye.

  “You said that I wasn’t like the girls they use for the page three pictures,” she whispered.

  He couldn’t play guessing games with her again, it was too confusing. She didn’t think logically like he did. Her thoughts were a maze. He almost felt sorry for her. “Look, your body is perfect. It was never about other girls in the first place. I don’t want you to be like anyone but yourself. It’s you I want to be with, not them.”

  “I thought...I mean...” She groaned and covered her face again.

  “Don’t cry again. I hate it when you cry.” He wasn’t above begging.

  “I’m not crying, but I am an idiot,” she mumbled, lowering her hands. “I thought you were talking about wanting me to look like a pin up girl. But you weren’t.”

  “No, of course not. I didn’t know what the hell you were on about. I should have come out and said that I didn’t get you.” He sat beside her. “Let’s make a pact.”

  “Pact?”

  “Yeah. We think differently.” He tapped her temple gently. “I still don’t know how we got so mixed up, but it could happen again.”

  “Yeah, crossed wires.” She wiped her face. “What’s the pact?”

  “Here’s the deal: when I don’t know what you’re on about I’m going to say rather than guess. Same for you, if you don’t get what I’m talking about. No more assuming or guessing, okay?”

  “Deal.” She held out her hand to him and he shook it.

  “Let’s not do that again,” he said. “I don’t like arguing with you, and I hate seeing you cry.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “So am I. I didn’t want you to think that I’m pressuring you. I know with the other night, but...” He didn’t know what to say. Why did he have to talk so much? Why couldn’t she be like the others and know what he meant without having to have a three-hour debate?

  “You don’t have to be embarrassed with me, Nate.”

  “I don’t know what to do. How to make sure that it’s good for you.” He braced himself for her to laugh.

  But she didn’t, and before he knew it, she’d straddled him. Her arms went around his neck and he automatically put his hands on her hips. She was so beautiful. He had to pinch himself sometimes, it was like a hallucination that she liked him, that she wanted to be with him. To be his girl. He’d been sure she’d choose Matt. He was the one all the girls swooned after, with his fucking ‘whiskey’ eyes, and his easy-going nature. But she’d chosen all of them and he was one lucky bastard.

  “Nate? Did you hear me?” She tugged gently on his hair.

  “Oh, no, what?”

  “I said it’s like baking bread. You can read all the recipes in the world, and watch all the best bakers, but until you do it yourself you’ll never really learn.” She shifted, scratching at her ankle, and her pelvis tilted forward, pushing against him. Every drop of blood went south instantly, and he tried to inch away from her.

  “I know it’s a bad illustration, but it’s all I could think of.”

  He couldn’t think of anything except the part of her anatomy that was snuggled against him. A quick look at her face told him she wasn’t even aware.

  “Baking bread. I got it,” he muttered and then remembered their pact. “Um, no, I don’t. What does bread have to do with it?”

  She laughed, and it made her body move on his. “Hands on, Nate. I don’t know how to make things feel good for you either. Instead of reading about it, we should let nature take its course and learn together.”

  Now he was clear. Crystal clear.

  “Sweetheart, right now, you are making me feel very, very good.” He pulled her pelvis tighter against his groin to show her. But he wasn’t ready for how it would affect him, and he swore as pleasure shot through him.

  She cried out and her hands went into his hair, tugging it. It sent sparks right to his cock. Hell, if he kept her there any longer, he’d embarrass himself far more than buying a book had.

  He shivered as she set her mouth on his neck, her tongue flicking out to taste him. His hips moved without his consent, and holy fuck, it was amazing. She was making the most incredible sounds as her fingers scraped at his scalp. She lifted her head and her mouth collided with his in a burst of passion that sent him reeling. He grabbed her butt, squeezing and grinding her against him, and he almost lost it. She rocked on top of him, her tongue chasing and winding with his. He wanted to touch her, to feel her skin, he wanted to get inside her and never leave. He tried to push his hands inside the back of her jeans, but they were too tight. Groaning into her mouth, he fumbled with her button and zip until he had them undone. All higher brain functions stopped the moment he got his hands inside her jeans and over her butt. She was warm, soft, and holy shit, he loved squeezing her.

  She was heaven and he was heading right there. Her hips ground down onto him as he thrust up and it was exquisite torture.

  If he didn’t survive this, he really didn’t care

  She was moaning, panting and growling. Growling? He vaguely realised it was him growling as he pushed against her. She suddenly went rigid on him before shaking erratically. She slid sideways, and he pinned her in place against him. She was crying out his name, her face buried in his neck as she jerked and shook.

  Realisation struck; he was making her come. He’d made her come, and that thought pushed him over the edge. He was going to die, whatever else was happening to him, he was dying. A wash of vulnerability collided with something he had no name for and white-hot bursts of intense pleasure exploded through him.

  He died.

  He died and went straight to heaven.

  More than a chemical reaction

  Lily slumped against him, shivering as aftershocks rippled through her. She’d been such an idiot, jumping to conclusions about him and all he’d wanted to do was look after her. She’d been okay until he’d dragged her close and she’d pressed right up against him. It’d sent a bolt of sensations through her, and she’d lost her mind.

  Embarrassment flooded through her. He’d know she’d come. He’d know she’d dry humped him to orgasm.

  “Bloody fucking hell.” He fell backwards his hands still inside her jeans.

  She grunted as she fell with him, her face still buried against his neck.

  “You just killed me,” he groaned.

  She kept her face buried, not able to face him.

  His hands moved on her butt, squeezing and stroking. It sent a shiver through her, making her wriggle on him.

  “I never want to move again, but I need to get out of these sweats,” he muttered, his hands slid up her back and back down onto her butt.

  “Yo! Is it safe to come in?”

  She lifted her head in horror. “Don’t tell them.”

  “Fuck off!” Nate roared, and rolled them until he was hovering over her. “This is between you and me, no one else, and certainly not those morons.” He kissed the end of her nose. “That was incredible, but I do need to change.”

  He moved, and she saw the dark patch on his sweatpants. A bolt of pleasure rushed through her. It’d been mutual. She flopped onto the bed and covered her eyes with her arm. She heard the ru
stling of clothing and then he was over her, kissing her.

  “I need to know that you’re okay with this. I know it’s a bit late now, but we need to be honest with each other. Did I go too far?”

  “No.” She wound her hands around his neck. “It was amazing, Nate. I don’t regret anything. I was worried that you’d be disgusted. I basically dry humped you.”

  “You can dry hump me anytime you want, babe.” He kissed her nose. “I got you off, didn’t I?”

  She saw a spark of something quite primeval in his eyes. “Yeah. You did and quite spectacularly.”

  “I could feel you,” he whispered against her lips. “I felt you come and it made me come. I want to do this again with you. I want to touch you, to explore every inch of you, I want to watch you come.”

  His words caused a delicious shiver to race over her. “You don’t need any books, Nate. You’re doing perfectly.”

  His phone rang, and he groaned, rolling to the side of her. He made a grab for it and put it to his ear. “Hello...Okay, thanks...Yeah, I know.”

  She watched him, but his face gave nothing away.

  “Yeah.” He hesitated. “You okay?”

  He was silent for quite a while as he listened, and she realised it was the others he was talking to. Dread pooled in her stomach, and she closed her eyes.

  “Thanks. I mean it... just, well, thanks.” He rang off and dropped it on the sheets.

  “Do they know?” She bit her lip.

  He rolled towards her, propping his head on his hand. “They know we were making out.”

  “It’s going to be a problem, isn’t it?” She knew they must have known, and— “Oh, my god, Nate. Your parents. Your mum and dad. What if they heard? Oh, hell. How will I ever face them again?”

  “They aren’t here. Matt said they went to the pub for a meal.” He slid his finger down her nose, over her lips, and down her throat.

  She sucked in a breath as he drew his finger between her breasts, over her stomach, stopping at where her jeans were still open. He ran his finger back and forth across the edge of her panties, making her gasp as tingles zinged through her. She bit her lip, embarrassed at reacting to his touch so soon.

  “The twins are starving, as usual, and they’ve gone with Matt into town to get some pizza. They’re bringing it back here.” He lifted himself over her, his hand still resting on her lower stomach. “They aren’t angry with either of us.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because Matt told me how long they’d be. Josh told me they’d ring my phone when they were five minutes from the village, and Jake reminded me.”

  “Oh my god!” She covered her face with her hands.

  He moved his hand from her stomach to the sheets between them. “I fuck this up every time. I promised you I wouldn’t push you. That we’d take it slowly and what do I do? Grab hold of you and grind against you until I shoot my load.”

  “Hold on.” She dropped her hands. “You weren’t working solo. I straddled you, you didn’t grab me. I let you put your hands in my jeans, I ground against you as much as you did me. And let’s face it, I came before you. You didn’t push me into anything except the best orgasm I’ve ever had.”

  “Really?” He looked smug. “The best you’ve ever had?”

  She made a horrified noise as it sank in what she’d revealed. Swallowing, she looked away, trying to play it cool. “What? You think you boys are the only ones to, well, y’know, fly solo?”

  “Oh shit.” He groaned deeply, burying his face in her neck. “I thought at first you meant one of the others, but, oh, Lord.”

  “It’s not a sin, y’know.” She flushed, trying to pull away from him, but he moved quickly and pinned her shoulders to the bed as he leant over her.

  “No, baby, not a sin, but hot as hell. Just thinking about...” He groaned and pushed away from her to lie on his back.

  She winced. “I shouldn’t have told you that.”

  He turned onto his side, looking down at her. His pupils were little more than pinpricks in the expanse of blue. He lowered his head; his hair fell into his eyes, and she swept it back. His eyes closed at her touch, and when she drew her hand over his cheek, he opened them. His pupils had blown wide and there was no mistaking the desire in them.

  “You can never tell me too much,” he whispered. He kissed her gently, pulling her towards him. She rolled with him until she was snuggled into his side, her head resting on his chest, and their legs tangled together. He stroked his fingers through her hair and it made her sleepy.

  “What did Jake remind you of?” She closed her eyes as his fingers played with her hair.

  “What?” He sounded as drowsy as she felt.

  “Jake? On the phone, what did he say?”

  “Oh. One word: condoms.”

  Heat flooded her cheeks. Would she have let him go that far? If she was honest with herself, then yes, she would. She’d been close with the twins and they hadn’t even got past touching her breasts. On a logical, cold, unemotional level, she knew it was endorphins, a chemical reaction, a natural response. But she also knew it wasn’t just that. She’d never considered getting this close to any other boys. If it was only a natural chemical reaction and nothing else, she’d had felt the same with Jimmy after the school dance, but she hadn’t felt anything. She didn’t feel that way about anyone in her class now, not even the ones she considered good looking.

  She knew her boys were gorgeous, but there was more to it, and she knew it was because she loved them. She was entwined with them in ways she couldn’t even comprehend. They were everything to her and always would be. Sharing anything physical with them went much deeper than a rush of oxytocin being released, it was deeper than anything she could name.

  “He’s being an ass.” She heard the hesitancy in his voice and knew her silence was the reason.

  “Not really.” She heard him suck in his breath. “We’re going to end up that way, aren’t we? At some point?”

  “Yeah, I hope so.” He chuckled, but the edge was still there.

  “If you feel rushed, you must say. If I feel rushed, I’ll say. If we get to a point and we want to stop, we say so.”

  “I would always stop if you said to. But I’d better warn you, nothing is going to make me say stop.”

  “I might do something you don’t want,” she said.

  He snorted loudly. “No. I don’t think so.”

  “I might. What if I have a fetish for sucking your toes?”

  “Um...do you?”

  “No. Well, I don’t think so. I’ve never sucked your toes, but I doubt it.”

  “You’ve been talking to the twins too much.” He laughed and kissed the top of her head. “But even if you did have a fetish for sucking my toes, I’d let you if you really wanted to.”

  She laughed and buried her nose into the side of his neck. “You smell so good.”

  “Aren’t I supposed to say that to you?”

  “You can say it to me if you want too.” She laughed.

  “You do smell good.” He stuck his nose in her hair. “You always do.”

  He stroked his hand up and down her back, lulling the drowsiness to creep up over her and pull her under.

  Feels like home

  “Don’t eat it yet, you pig.” Matt moved the box away from Josh.

  “We’re starving. Do we have to wait for Lily?”

  Matt narrowed his eyes at him. “If we don’t wait, there won’t be anything left for her to eat.”

  “We’d save her a slice,” Jake muttered. “Wouldn’t we, Jacob?”

  “Of course, we would,” Jake mumbled, looking at his phone.

  Nate came into the room and a sharp burst of jealousy went through Matt when he saw he’d changed since they left.

  “And here’s the man of the moment,” Josh said.

  “Don’t.” Nate came over and sat next to Matt. He kept his gaze on him, but he was talking to all of them. “Nothing happened.”

  �
��Nothing?” Josh snorted. “You were yelling at her and then it went quiet.”

  “It’s between her and me.”

  Matt lifted the lid of the closest box to him. He knew Nate was right, but that didn’t stop the torturous thoughts of what he’d done with her. It’d been nearly an hour before they’d made it back with the pizza. Long enough to—

  Josh slapped his hand. “Don’t tell us not to nick it and then go and nick it yourself.”

  Matt glared at them. “I was only opening it up. I’m not a pig like you are.”

  “What’s crawled up your butt and died?” Jake sneered.

  “Go and wake her up before it gets cold.” Nate hadn’t even finished speaking before the twins were on their feet and heading for the stairs. “You okay?”

  “No.” Matt sighed heavily. “Yeah, yeah, I am, I think.” He didn’t know what he was.

  “She’s worried that you know we were making out.”

  “Making out? Is that all?” Matt shook his head. “No. Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you that, or suggested you did anything more. I was fine with it, honestly, until I saw you changed. It made it real somehow. You’re all getting time with her and I’m not.” He swore under his breath. “And now I sound like a petulant four-year-old.”

  “Well, you did run out and leave me to explain that book.”

  “Can’t say I’m sorry. Wild horses wouldn’t have kept me listening to you telling her what you wanted it for.”

  Nate rolled his eyes. “I fucked it up royally anyway. Ended up talking about two different things and nearly derailed it for all of us.”

  “How?”

  “She got some weird idea I’d got it to see how we could help her breasts grow.”

  “What?” Matt stared at him. “How the hell did she come to that conclusion.”

  Nate pulled a face. “Damned if I know.”

  “I don’t get it. That’s not even in there, is it?”

  “No. Honestly, it was like walking on a balance beam blindfolded. Nothing she said made any sense and wasn’t even remotely connected. But it’s all good now, just don’t mention the book.”