Deceptive Secrets

by RM Walker

  He lowered his palm slowly, watching her eyes as his fingers grazed the soft, warm skin. Her eyes went wide, and she sucked in a breath as he lay his palm over her belly button.

  “You’re gorgeous.” He stroked wide circles around her belly button. On each pass, his finger inched under the material of her shirt.

  Her breathing hitched, her eyes never leaving his. Would she stop him if he stroked his hand higher? He wanted to, he wanted to explore all of her. He brought his other hand to her hair and carded his fingers through it. His thumb caught on a tangle, and she winced in pain.

  “Shit, sorry.” He pulled his hand away carefully.

  “It’s fine, it needs taming.” She placed a kiss on his palm, tugging him to lie beside her. He went willingly.

  “What’s the time?” she said, stroking her finger over his cheek.

  He looked at her clock. “Six twenty, we can lie here for a couple of minutes.”

  “We have over an hour,” she corrected him. Her fingers ghosted over his cheek and around his ear, sending shivers through him. They trailed over his collar bone, stopping to undo his top button. He watched her face as she continued to undo his buttons, her fingertips grazing his skin. His hand clenched on her belly and her gaze flew up to his. Desperation filled him, he wanted to kiss her, to explore her, discover every inch of her. But he was caught by the look in her eyes, and it shook him to the core.

  She was turned on, or at least she was getting there, but when she met his gaze and placed her hand over his heart he saw love. She loved him. She was his, and it swept him away. “I love you,” his voice cracked.

  “Shh, it’s okay.” She tugged him into her arms, his head against her chest. She stroked her fingers down his back, and to his surprise, rocked him like a baby. It wasn’t sexual, it was comfort. For some reason unknown to him she needed to comfort him. His face was snuggled into her breasts, so he wasn’t going to complain.

  “I love you, the others love you, so does Jonas.” She hesitated and then carried on. “Whatever happens with your parents, we’ll get through it.”

  “My parents?”

  “Yeah, you looked so”—she hesitated—“I don’t know; not lost, not unhappy, just...I don’t know.”

  He lifted his head. “I wasn’t thinking of them.” He pecked her lips. “I could see it in your eyes. You do love me, don’t you?”

  “I always will,” she whispered, sliding her hands onto his shoulders and inside his shirt. She pushed, and he got the message, shrugging out of it and letting it fall to the floor.

  He nudged her to lie down and straddled her thighs, careful to not put his full weight on her. Watching her carefully, he pinned her hands on either side of her head and her eyes met his. They held no fear, no hesitancy, only arousal mixed with love.

  “I trust you,” she whispered.

  He wanted to eat her whole, but he had to know before he lost himself in her. “How far is too far for you?” he whispered.

  She smiled, her fingers curling over his. “I’m not sure there is a too far and that scares me a little.”

  There was a too far for her, she just didn’t know where it was, so it was up to him to make sure he recognised it and didn’t go past it.

  “We can get up and cuddle on the sofa till eight. Or we can make out for a bit, stopping when you want to stop.”

  “Or we could go back to sleep until a more reasonable hour?” she teased.

  “Or I can tickle you unmercifully for being the laziest toad I have ever met.”

  “That might lead us into the second idea.”

  “Yeah, it probably would.” He released her hands and trailed his fingers down her bare arms. “Where are you the most ticklish?”

  “My sides,” she replied. “Are you going to tickle me?”

  He moved his hands either side of her shoulders and lowered his head until his lips were millimetres from hers. “Do you want me to tickle you?”

  “Can we skip that bit?” Her voice was breathy, a husky tone that made his stomach clench.

  He didn’t dare reply, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to produce anything more than a squeak. She brought her hands to his hips and heat seared through the cotton of his boxers. Her touch affected him more than he’d dreamt. He wanted to bury himself inside her and never leave.

  She lifted her head and traced the tip of her tongue across his lips, and he submitted, opening his mouth to her. He brought his hands to her face, chasing her tongue with his. Her fingers smoothed over his hips and pleasure zipped down his spine. Kissing down her throat, he worked his way around to her ear. She was breathing heavily, making noises that called to something deep inside him.

  Her fingers slid inside the front opening of his boxers, and white lights flashed behind his eyes as her fingers brushed against him. The brush became a stroke that tipped him too fast. He wrenched back from her, only just stopping himself from coming.

  “Oh, hell! I’m sorry!” She scooted away from him to the top of the bed. “I shouldn’t have done that. I hurt you. I’m sorry, I’m not like her, I don’t know what I’m doing.” She covered her face with her hands.

  He sat back on his heels, mystified. “You’re not like who?”

  “Connie.”

  He reared back in horror. “No, you’re not, thank god. I don’t want her, I want you.”

  “But I hurt you.”

  “You didn’t hurt me.” He caught her wrists and gently tugged her hands down.

  “Why did you pull back then?” she asked.

  “Look at me.” He waited until she met his gaze. “One more touch from you and I was going to come.”

  She frowned at him and it wasn’t the reaction he expected.

  “What? What’s wrong?” He held onto her hands, not wanting to let her go.

  “Don’t you want me to make you come?”

  His stomach flipped and all the blood that had been returning north, turned and galloped south again. “Yeah. Of course, I want you to get me off, but I want to get you off too.”

  She frowned again, and he had a rush of solidarity with Nate. Why was she frowning?

  “We can stop. I mean we have stopped—it hasn’t even started yet. I’m sorry, it’s my fault.”

  “It’s not your fault,” he insisted. “Stop saying everything is your fault. It’s not! You turn me on so much one more touch and it’d be all over. I have to get you off first.”

  “Do you only want to touch me when you’re turned on then?”

  “What? I don’t get what you’re asking.” He was confused.

  “Are you only attracted to me when you’re turned on.”

  “No. No!” He squinted at her. “How on earth did you get that idea?”

  “You couldn’t get me off if you got off first.”

  “What the hell? How the hell do you work that out?” Lord they were going to have to sit down, the four of them, and try and figure out what fucking language she spoke.

  “You just said you had to get me off first. I don’t understand why you can’t come first.”

  “Well, because—” He stopped. “It just is. I’m the guy, we’re supposed to get the lady off first before we get ours.” Why did she have to have a fucking debate about it? It’s just the way it was.

  “Who told you that?”

  “I don’t know.” He threw his hands up in frustration. “I don’t know. Uncle Steve? Or Uncle Adam? I can’t remember. Get your lady off first, it’s just how it’s done.” Any hint of arousal had died in the effort to work out what she was saying.

  “Did you get off before Connie did?”

  Fuck, did she have to ask that question? “No. Well—” Heat filled his cheeks.

  “What?”

  “When we split up, it wasn’t great. I was shouting at her for being a cheating whore and she yelled—” He ground to a halt, heat flooded his cheeks.

  “That she faked it?”

  “Yeah.” The burning humiliation he’d felt made him turn his head
away from her.

  “Bitch.”

  He looked back at her. “I don’t care about her. But I hope to god you won’t need to fake it with me.”

  “I won’t do that.” She had a glint in her eye.

  “Are you laughing at me?” he demanded, not ready for the hurt.

  “Of course not. I’ve had a brainwave.”

  “Have you?” He eyed her suspiciously. It wasn’t humour he saw, it was mischief.

  “I have.”

  “Are you going to share this brainwave or keep it to yourself?” He lifted an eyebrow.

  “We need to conduct an experiment. One that will give us the answers.”

  “Huh?” What was she on about now?

  “We’ve got ages before we need to get dressed.”

  He looked at the clock, but her next words made him stare at her.

  “Just—y’know, repeat that last bit?” he asked. “Just in case the wrong head was listening.”

  She laughed, covering her mouth with her hands. Her eyes were shining with happiness, but there was still a hint of shyness. He loved her even if she did speak double-dutch.

  “I said: we should experiment, see if I can get you off, and if I can, then you can see if you can get me off. Then we’ll know.”

  “I already know.” He smirked at her. “But I’m more than willing to be your lab rat.”

  “Aww, you’re too cute to be a rat.”

  “Cute?” He tilted his head at her.

  “Okay, sweet.”

  He was being deliberately teased now, her eyes gave her away.

  “Sweet?” He gripped her knees and dragged her down the bed, moving to kneel between her legs.

  “Adorably fluffy.” She batted her eyelashes at him.

  He drew a deep breath, tugged up her t-shirt and blew a raspberry on her stomach. She squealed with laughter, burying her hands into his hair, trying to hunch away from him.

  He gripped her hips, his fingers curled around her shorts. He blew another raspberry on her belly button, and she shrieked. He moved lower and placed a kiss on the hollow between her hip bones. Her laughed died, and he heard her breath catch. Inching slowly, his fingers tugged her shorts downwards, his lips nuzzling her lower stomach. He was rock hard again and desperate to discover her. He’d never done this with Connie, there was always something that held him back. He’d get to her belly button and the thought of going lower turned him off.

  But Lily?

  He wanted to worship her. He wanted to taste and touch every inch. He wanted to watch her come apart on his fingers, tongue, cock. He wanted it all with her. He wanted to give her everything.

  He lifted his head, desperate to see her face, to see her love for him, knowing that he was the one to make her lose it.

  She held out her arms to him. He crawled obediently up to her and buried his face in her neck. He was content to lie there with her. He knew what it was now. He knew the difference, and it was mind-blowing.

  He loved Lily.

  He knew he’d fallen for her, had told her loads of times he loved her, and he’d meant it. But it was only now that he knew exactly what it meant; he loved her, would die for her. Do anything for her. He was hers until he died. And if she left him she’d destroy him, but he’d still be hers.

  “Oh, god. I love you so fucking much,” he moaned into her neck, his feelings for her overwhelming him.

  She kissed his ear. Her hands stroked down his back and straight into his boxers.

  “Oh, fuck.” He shuddered under her tentative touch. Her fingertips explored him, sliding over his thighs and butt. She licked the shell of his ear and his eyes rolled back. He wanted to kiss her, lift his head and kiss her, but she’d rendered him unable to move and all she was doing was stroking his butt.

  Until her hands slid underneath him.

  “Oh, shit, I’m sorry,” he muttered, knowing where he was headed.

  Her smooth, warm fingers found him hard and heavy. He gritted his teeth as she drifted her fingers up and down, barely touching him. It was exquisite torture. Pleasure slammed through him as her fingers brushed over the top of him. She withdrew her hand and he bit back a curse of rejection, but then she was back. Her fingers curled around him, stroking gently as her thumb rubbed circles on his tip. He cried out as he lost control. Lightning streaked through him, hit his heart, and sent him blind.

  Unable to hold his weight, he collapsed onto her, burying his face in her neck as aftershocks rocked through him. “Fuck, Lil, that was—” He struggled for breath. “I’ve never come that hard, it was fucking amazing.”

  “You’re okay?”

  “More than okay. That was intense, Lil. You are amazing, and I love you.” He raised himself onto his forearms and kissed her nose then her lips. Before she could deepen it, he moved to her cheek, working tiny kisses all over her face until he was kissing her ear.

  “Your turn,” he whispered between kisses and relished in the moan she gave. He moved to kneel beside her, his fingers traced down her arm and across the bare skin of her midriff. Catching hold of the hem of her t-shirt he hesitated, waiting for permission. She sat up, tugged her t-shirt off and that was his green light.

  He was staring, he knew he was, but holy hell she was perfect. He saw her bring the t-shirt up to cover herself and he took it from her. “No, please, no, no.” He threw it onto the floor before catching her hands and bringing them out to her sides. He tried to look at her face, but she was so gorgeous.

  “Matt?”

  He heard her vulnerability and did what he’d been dreaming of since the quarry. He laid a gentle kiss on first one perfect tip and then the other. She made a noise somewhere between a gasp and a cry and he kissed her again, watching her body react to his lips. Her breathing picked up, the rise and fall of her breasts mesmerised him. He had to taste her. Inching closer, he licked the delicate tip, flicking over her, before repeating it on her other nipple.

  She cried out, lost her grip on his hands and fell backwards. He knew exactly what he wanted to do with his hands. He stroked his fingers over her sides and underneath her breasts. She was shaking under his touch and it made him feel invincible. He stroked over her skin until his palms settled over her breasts, the hard tips pressing into him.

  His name was strangled as she arched her back, pushing herself into his hold. It kick-started a reaction in him, and he was on her before he even thought. He kneaded her with one hand while his mouth paid attention to her other breast. Her hands went into his hair as she made the most amazing noises. There were no ear-splitting shrieks, exaggerated squeals, or swear words, only moans, gasps, and a mewing noise that stirred him. He could lose himself in her and never want to be found. He could spend all night and all day hearing those noises from her. They were his new favourite sound.

  He licked a path from between her breasts, up the hollow of her throat and around to under her ear. “Stop me if you need to.”

  She whined as he moved his hand to the waistband of her shorts. He drifted his fingers from side to side, inching further down until his fingers were below the material. Her hand fisted into his hair, her other one clenched at his shoulder. Sliding his fingers lower, she was exactly how he hoped she’d be; warm, wet, and so fucking gorgeous.

  Gently exploring her, he loved the feel of her under his fingers. He kept it together enough to carefully stretch her, to not hurt her. Her head was thrown back and gasps came from her mouth as he slowly eased his finger into her. She cried out, her hips bucked, taking him deeper. She was clutching at his hair and shoulder, and he claimed her mouth in a desperate kiss. She was so tight around his finger the urge to take her was strong, and he ground against her leg. Stroking his fingertip against her inner wall she buried her face into his shoulder, his name slipping from her lips repeatedly.

  This was nothing he’d experienced before, he was helpless. Thrusting against her leg in perfect timing with his finger. She was winding tighter under him, around him. Slowly, he brushed his thumb in
a circle, knowing what it would do for her. Her head fell back from him and he lifted to watch her. Her eyes were closed, her mouth open and making the sexiest noises he’d ever heard. He applied more pressure, and it was enough, he saw it, felt it. She was moving uncontrollably under him, crying out his name and it was too much, he ground his hips against her until he came again.

  She shook under him until she slumped back, taking him with her. He went gladly, careful when he pulled his fingers from her. Wrapping her in his arms he laid his head on her chest. Her heart raced as fast as his own.

  “Are you okay?” He needed to know she was okay, that regret wouldn’t fill her now that she could think straight.

  “I am, are you?” She kissed the top of his head.

  “I’m amazing,” he said.

  “Yes, you are.”

  “I meant I felt amazing.” He snorted with laughter. “You made me feel amazing. Did it answer your queries? Was our research sufficient?”

  She made a humming noise. “Well, y’know, I think in the name of fairness we ought to repeat this experiment.”

  “I agree.” He lifted himself onto his side and kissed her. “We’re going to need to research this thoroughly.”

  “It could take years to reach a fair answer.”

  “We may never work it out, but it’s important to keep at it.”

  She laughed, cupped his face and kissed him.

  He caught sight of her clock and panic flooded him. “Shit, it’s twenty past seven! I’m going to have to shower and...oh fuck!”

  “What?”

  I can’t wear these all day.” He lifted himself up, and she bit her lip

  “Go commando,” she said, a giggle slipping out.

  “It’s too cold.” He grabbed his phone. “Nate’ll bring me a pair.”

  “He’ll know,” she said. Her thumbnail made its way to her teeth, a habit she’d picked up from the twins.

  He tugged her hand free. “I didn’t go back last night. I texted him I was staying here ’cause you’d be alone. He knows I love you. He can also add up reasonably well.”

  The anxiety cleared from her eyes. “I suppose. And if uni works out we’ll all be living together, and we won’t be able to hide it then.” She curled onto her side, tugging the blankets up, and he knew full well what she was doing.