Repair Me

by Melissa Phillips

  ☼

  Natalia called me later that afternoon “Hey, Avery, did you get my message last night? You never text me back.”

  “Yeah I got it.” I spoke softly. If only she knew the bullshit I had put up with over a single message.

  “So… yes, no? Are gonna come or what?”

  “No I really can’t go. Anthony found out about last weekend and he’s pissed.”

  “You’re a fucking adult, Avery. He’s not your Father!” she yelled back. Natalia knew that Anthony was an ass at times, she knew he was controlling, but she had no idea that he had ever hurt me.... physically.

  “It’s not worth it, Natalia!” I screamed back. “I need to stay here. I have no family, you’re all I have and you know you can’t let me live with you. He’s my only option.”

  “But you don’t always have to obey his fucking rules! You need to stand up for yourself every once in awhile. He can’t control your every thoughts.”

  “Natalia come over, look at my body, then tell me whether or not it’s worth it!” I cried. I looked at my bruised shoulder. I felt the large tender spots on my back. The way he had pushed me off the bed, made me fall hard onto my back half of my body. I was sore and he loved the feeling that he left a reminder to obey his orders. With pain through my body, I could literally hear his voice.

  “He did what?” She howled into the receiver. “Scott, Anthony hit Avery!” She screamed in the background. Obviously she was with her boyfriend.

  The voice immediately changed. “Where the fuck is he, Avery?” Davien was on the other line. Of all people I didn't need Davien interfering with my personal life. “Tell me!”

  “He didn’t hit me.” I defended Anthony. I knew he had hurt me, but I didn’t want anyone to get involved in my life. I looked around the kitchen where I sat, pleading for excuses. “He got mad and pushed me. I simply fell off the bed, okay, are you happy?”

  “I asked where the fuck he’s at, Avery.” He screamed again. I could hear the anger in the few words that Davien demanded.

  “You don’t understand, Davien, it’s not like that. Just leave it alone” I hung the phone up with embarrassment.

  ☼

  The next day Natalia came to the house unannounced, as she knew that Anthony would be gone. “C’mon, you’re coming out tonight.” She pulled at my arm.

  “No, I’m not.” I yanked back. I was just getting out of bed. Thankfully this morning was without a plunge to the floor. I stood at the doorstep wearing only pajama bottoms and a pink tank top.

  Natalia was tiny and petite but she was feisty and held my arm. “Lock the door.”

  “I can’t leave.” I was sobbing knowing that if I left with Natalia, Anthony would never forgive me. He was already mad and he didn’t even know half of the facts from the previous weekend. “You don’t know what I’ll come home to.”

  “You’re not. You're not coming back” She pulled me in the driveway. Scott was sitting in his Jeep behind the wheel. She opened the backdoor and pushed me up until I had no choice but to go. “Where is your purse, Avery?”

  I couldn’t even think my head was spinning in confusion. I was crying harder than I ever imagined that I could. “Where’s your stuff?” Scott asked quietly. He reached through the front seat and grabbed my hand, rubbing the top softly. “Where’s your purse, Avery?” He whispered words with comfort as he tried to calm me.

  “On the kitchen counter. My keys are sitting in the bowl next to the front door.” I watched Natalia as she walked inside the house with no fear. I was blessed that she knew Anthony was gone. If he was home it would have turned into world war 3 and I knew Natalia well enough that she wouldn't give up on the fight. My head dropped to my lap and I sobbed over and over. I tried to catch my breath but fear took over my body.

  Scott moved to his knees and bent over the front seat, he reached towards my back and rubbed my back in comfort. “Everything is going to be okay, Avery.”

  I immediately sat up in order to snap back at him. “No it’s not. You have no fucking clue to what I’ll be coming home to.” I cried out. “I have no where to go to. My whole life depends on this man. My school, I have no car until he fixes it tomorrow, I have no house, please, just let me go back inside. I'm not ready for this, Please!”

  “That’s not an option honey.” Big hearted Scott would never let me get hurt, but he had no idea that Anthony was all I had. He didn’t understand. More that anything he didn’t know what Anthony was capable of.

  Natalia came out and was carrying my purse and a few changes of clothes. She locked the front door as if nothing had ever happened and hopped back in the Jeep. “Here.” She reached over the passenger seat and held out a pile of clothes. “This is enough for a few days. That’s all you need.”

  I sat up and screamed as Scott put the vehicle in reverse. “You have no fucking idea, Natalia. Where am I supposed to go? Where? I’m a homeless woman with nothing now and three outfits to change into.”

  “No honey,” Scott added “you’re a brave woman that has an awesome friend. Some stuff can be replaced, but you can’t stay there. We’ll figure out something. Come out with us, get the bullshit off your mind and we’ll get some clothes in the morning.”

  We went back to Scott and Davien’s place and Natalia finally calmed me enough to take a shower and get dressed to follow the two to CJ’s. I had no choice since Scott was performing and I couldn’t hold Natalia back.

  ☼

  I never saw Davien the entire day until we arrived at CJ’s. The place didn’t have as large of a crowd this night but I immediately noticed Davien in the corner surrounded by every female in the house. He sat on a stool and even had one girl’s arms wrapped around his neck. He made no attempt to push her off.

  When he saw us, he gently pushed the girls to the side and made his way to the 3 of us. My heart was racing and my stomach was flipping in nervous knots. What would he say? Would he bring up our conversation from last weekend? Would he pretend the words never came out of our mouths? Even worse, what would I say? The thought of Davien laying in his bed a week ago today.

  Now seeing him surrounded in a pile of whores, made me sick! What made me even sicker is that he enjoyed every minute of it. He loved the attention that the girls were more than willing to offer! I felt embarrassed especially after spilling my guts to this man. “Hey, Scott, Natalia… how’s things going?” Scott nodded his head with approval. He never looked my way, never spoke my name. He intentionally ignored me and I was immediately ready to leave. What the hell did I do to him? I knew if I left soon I had good chances of making it to my house before Anthony could ask many questions. I sat on the chair next to me as I debated over my choices. “What do you want to drink?” Davien asked us as a group, not directed to any certain person.

  I paid no attention as he walked off to the bar. I looked at my phone, realizing Anthony had made it home by now and saw the line of missed calls. I immediately wished tonight had never happened. I wanted to be home in my house. My home, not a hotel or a friends house. My fucking home, my fucking bed with Anthony. Instead I sat watching Natalia smiling with Scott and Mr. gorgeous flirting with every woman in the building except for me.

  Davien returned to the table with 4 beers and sat each in our directions. I sipped on mine as I waited for the guys to hit the stage “The Pits will be on stage in the next few minutes, so grab your drink and let’s get the show started.” The normal voice came through the speakers.

  “Show time” Energetic Davien jumped from his seat and the other band members followed.

  “What’s wrong, Avery? Everything is gonna be okay.” She rubbed my back. I felt guilty for ruining her night. I knew that Natalia looked forward to Friday evenings at Scott's shows. They didn't spend as much time during the week since Scott worked full time and she attended school and was also a waitress part-time. “They say it gets worse before it gets better. But we’re gonna help you in the mean time. Okay?”

  “I know, I apprec
iate everything but I’m not sure this is the right thing.” I tipped my bottle further, letting the beer hit my empty stomach.

  “Give it some time. I’ve got your back.”

  I heard Davien’s amazing voice as he spoke into the mic “How’s everyone doin' tonight?” The crowd whistled and clapped. His voice sent emotions through my body. For one night he felt like he was mine. But I was taken. I was pushed away and he wanted nothing to do with me now. In my thoughts, that was a ‘tease’. A week ago, there was a possibility that I would screw up my life with Anthony to have one night with Davien, a week later he was treating me like he had no idea who I was. Obviously he was a player, a man that took any woman that he wanted... as he had already told me. But he didn't want commitment. It was obvious that since Anthony and I were no longer in a relationship, I was available and that was a threat to Davien's lifestyle.

  I watched the entire show through invisible tears. I held back my pain when I watched him smile at each girl in the crowd. He reached out for their hands and made each one feel loved, except for me. He never once made eye contact with me. He purposely looked above my body when his eyes came close to my direction. He wasn’t mine though, I had no reason for jealousy, but it was still there… right or wrong.

  ☼

  As soon as the guys were done with their show, Natalia jumped from her seat to greet her sweat covered man. “You guys were awesome.” Natalia gripped onto Scott’s arm, wiping the glint of sweat from his forehead using his sleeve, he bent down to press his lips to hers. Justin and Vince decided to follow Davien around the bar. For the first time I saw Vince drunk off his ass. He had a line of shots down the bar, each of different colors. He threw each back like a pro. “Happy Birthday, Vinny boy!” Natalia yelled over the crowd. He stood up with a fist high in the air.

  “He’s gonna feel that in the morning. Thank God Justin drove his ass here or he’d be pulling a cot out from the backroom for the night.” Scott joked “You girls ready?”

  I was left at the awkward moment at the end of the night. “You okay staying at Scott’s tonight?” Natalia asked.

  I guess it was my only option. I couldn't go with Natalia where she had a shared apartment through the college, strict rules of no over night guests. She couldn’t afford to screw things up. I looked around the bar and saw Davien grabbing a shot glass with his teeth as he pressed his mouth between a busty blonde’s chest. “I guess… do I really have another choice? I’ll do it tonight then we’re figuring out something tomorrow!”

  “Look, Avery, I know it’s not what you want but you have to leave Anthony.” Her brows shot up and surprised me with words. Her words weren't soft and soothing they were harsh. “We’re trying, Avery, we can only do so much in one day. I’ll be there tomorrow and Scott has already promised to get you a couple outfits to start out with.” Her voice was far from comforting. She spoke with annoyance.

  Scott grabbed her shoulder, warning her to chill as he pulled her backwards. “C’mon we’ll talk more in the morning. I’ve gotta drop Natalia off at her place, then you can come back with me.” I didn’t even think about the fact that I would be going home in an uncomfortable way with Natalia’s boyfriend. Scott jumped off his chair and nodded his head to direct us out the bar. We followed him. I was almost out the door when I looked back and saw the swarm of women around Davien. He took a long look at me, but never left his seat. His eyes watched my every move as he checked my body from head to foot. I shook my head with pity and he dropped his eyes.

  When we arrived at Natalia's place, I felt awkward when she stepped out of the Jeep. She left her door open and forced me to move up with Scott. She gave me a tight hug. “You better take care of Avery.” Scott smiled. Honestly it was an amazing feeling that she trust me to spend the night at her boyfriend's house.

  I reached over pulling my seat belt in place as Scott pulled from Natalia’s apartment. “You hungry?”

  “I’m fine.”

  “What do want to eat? I’m stopping somewhere. You’ve gotta eat.” My stomach was still in knots, no longer worrying about Anthony, but my mind had changed over to Davien. I wondered which of the groupies would he sleep with tonight. As he told me a week ago he had sex with ‘as many of the girls as he wanted’. Would he bring any of them home tonight? Natalia told me that the guys don't bring girls home, but would Scott necessarily tell her the truth?

  If the two guys could let me spend the night, twice, who knows how many girls came over on a daily basis and me coming over wasn't gonna change any of their normal routine. A tear dropped from my face and Scott saw it fall to my lap. “Things will get better, Avery.”

  Natalia was such an awesome person and the best friend I could have ever asked for, but I was still jealous that she had the most amazing boyfriend. Everyone thought he was the bad ass guitarist from The Pits. He really did come across as a tough guy... he almost looked like that type of guy you could imagine walking out of a biker bar. But he was very well kept up with awesome tan skin and very clean cut. Only a handful of people knew that Scott was the sweetest guy in the world. I truly was jealous. She had the best of everything. She was able to go out and have fun, she had her own place still and he gave her all the trust in the world. She knew that he would never betray her and he would always be there for her.

  Scott pulled into the nearest drive-thru. “Either you order or I order for you. I’m buying you something to eat whether you like it or not.”

  “A burger.” I answered shortly. I was embarrassed that Natalia left her boyfriend to take care of me. He had done enough for me over the day and I was positive he was ready to go home and relax.

  As we drove off with our food, he pulled my burger from the bag. “Here eat.” I took the paper wrapped burger and took a bite. We sat in peace as he drove. But out of no where ,he asked the secretive question “It's not Anthony is it?” Scott surprised me with his words. I wasn't sure if it was really a question.

  I didn’t answer right away. I looked out the window as I picked at my emotions. No it really wasn't Anthony anymore. Although Anthony was important, I was more worried about Davien now. Then I whispered. “No, it’s not.”

  “You’re gonna be okay. We’re going home and you can relax, watch some TV and sleep on the couch. We’ll find you a place or a temporary hotel room in the very near future, but I’m not letting you go back. You know that, right?” I nodded my head.

  ☼

  I finished my burger before we made it back to the guys apartment. I jumped out and followed Scott into his place. I felt like Natalia should be in my place, but instead I was going home with her boyfriend. The apartment was empty, the lights were all off except for a dim porch light. “I’ll grab you a blanket. You can take the couch ‘til we figure out something.” He walked to a linen closet across the hall from the bathroom. I was curious if he knew that I never actually slept on the couch last weekend. I wondered if he even knew that I had actually spent the night. He had gone to bed with Natalia before I even got comfortable and Davien took me home before they even woke up.

  When Scott returned he handed me a blanket. “Want something to drink? Pop, water, beer? You know where the bathroom is right?”

  “I’m okay, thank you and yeah I know where the bathroom's at.” I answered softly. “Hey, Scott, thanks for everything.” He turned and smiled.

  “Sorry for being a bad host, but I’m beat.” He passed me the remote. “See you in the morning.” And he walked to the stairs. I didn’t expect him to keep me company. He had done enough. He bought me dinner, he allowed me to sleep at his place and he was willing to take me out tomorrow to buy a couple of outfits. There was no way I could complain. I never expected him to keep me company.

  I pulled the cover to my chest and laid back on the couch. I found a boring rerun and turned the volume down. I laid for hours watching the hands spin on the clock. I shift in different directions on the couch that Davien had told me was strictly ‘Scott’s property’. My eyes were heavy bu
t I couldn’t forget that I had a luxurious king size bed at home. Anthony’s home. Now I slept on a couch in a bachelor’s pad. All because of one night. No one would ever understand the thoughts that went through my head.

  If only Natalia hadn’t begged me out last weekend, if only she hadn’t text me… but in reality I did it to myself. I betrayed the only thing that had supported me. He helped me when no one else could.

  It was nearly 3 in the morning when the small light from the entry way turned on then immediately switched back off. The shadow of Mr. Gorgeous walked past the TV. I pulled the cover further up my chest. My heart sped and my breathing followed with it. I kept myself quiet. He hadn’t been home the entire day, I had never spoke to him since our short conversation on the phone the day before when he had snatched the phone from Natalia. He probably had no idea that I would be sleeping in his living room that night. I wondered if he even knew that I had been with Scott and Natalia and that they had taken me from my home.

  I peaked over the cover and watched the dark kitchen softly light up when Davien opened the refrigerator door. He pulled a bottle of cold water from a shelf and stood with the refrigerator door still open as he downed half of the bottle. I gripped onto my cover, keeping my eyes closed just enough to squint so that I could just barely make out the shadow of Davien.

  I felt his presence when he walked into the living room. The TV shut off. “C’mon you’re not sleeping on the couch.” Davien took the cover off my body and pulled my hand until I sat up.

  “Just leave me alone, Davien.” I struggled for my hand “Why do you care where I sleep?”

  “Just c’mon.” He pulled my hand tighter until my feet hit the floor and stood up.