The Poppy Field

by Deborah Carr

  She realised Tom was watching her. “You must think me very strange,” she said, willing him to disagree.

  He did not disappoint. “You’re the most fascinating woman I’ve ever met,” he said. “You’ve got courage and determination, as well as being incredibly pretty. What’s not to like?”

  She straightened the cutlery in front of her for something to do with her hands. Then gazing across the table at him once again, said, “I think you’re ballsy, too,” she said, wishing she had used a more eloquent term. “I mean, how you’ve not let your past experiences, hinder how you live your life now.”

  He frowned momentarily as he considered her words. “I don’t really think it’s like that, but when something happens to change your life, you have two choices.”

  “Which are?” she asked.

  “Give up or adapt how you live to suit your new circumstances.”

  “Well, I think you’re incredibly brave. To be honest though,” she added. “I don’t think I’d have ever noticed your leg if you hadn’t told me about it.”

  “Really?” he looked surprised by her revelation.

  “No. You do the same as everyone else. Let’s face it, you climb ladders better than I ever could. You don’t let it hold you back at all. Why would I have ever thought you had a prosthetic leg?”

  He shook his head. “It never occurred to me that you wouldn’t notice.” He raised his eyebrows.

  She thought about Alice’s letters and how different life would have been at the beginning of the last century for men like Tom who had lost limbs.

  “What are you thinking now?” he asked, his eyes twinkling in amusement.

  She told him. “Life may be quicker now and more about technology and families living further away from each other, but at least we don’t see the loss of a limb as the end of the world.”

  “Unless it happens to you,” he said. “Initially, of course. When your limb heals, and you learn to walk with a prosthetic, life does seem more positive after that.”

  She took his hand in hers and smiled at him. “I wish I’d known you back then.”

  “I’m glad you didn’t. I’m much happier that we’ve met after I’ve come to terms with all this and feel whole again.”

  “You are heroic to me, though,” she admitted.

  “Not at all,” Tom argued, looking she was sad to note, rather awkward and embarrassed. “It’s not heroic when you have little choice in the matter.”

  She opened her mouth to retaliate when the waiter appeared with a plate of pastries and a pot of tea for two.

  “Not quite a Cornish tea,” Tom said, waiting for Gemma to take her pick of the mouth-watering pastries. “But it looks good to me.”

  “Me, too,” she said.

  They ate in relative silence, each lost in their own thoughts. Gemma wished she could take back what she had said about him being a hero. Sometimes she didn’t think before she spoke and she just hoped she hadn’t gone too far.

  After waiting for the tea to stew a little, she poured some into each of their cups.

  “This is delicious,” she said taking a sip. “I wish I hadn’t been so doubting in their ability to serve us a decent tea.”

  “You see?” He took a mouthful of his pastry and watched her as he chewed. “I can’t believe I’ve lived here for several years and never thought to come to the hotel before.”

  “We’ll have to do it again sometime,” she said, adding. “If I haven’t driven you mad by saying all the wrong things, that is?”

  He shook his head. “You’re honest, and in my book that’s more important than saying what I want to hear. Do you know how rare it is to be with someone who says what they think, rather than what they think they should say?”

  Gemma thought about what he had said. “Oh, yes. I see what you mean. I agree. I’d rather hear the truth than some rubbish.”

  “Ready for your second pastry?” he asked, smiling as he waited for her to choose.

  “No,” she said, liking most of them on offer. “You first. I want to see what you like best. It might tell me more about you and how you think.”

  Tom threw his head back and laughed loudly. The other guests looked in their direction curious to work out what was so funny. He noticed and pulled an apologetic face at them.

  “I’m not sure how you’re going to psychoanalyse me over a pain au chocolate, but here goes.”

  She watched him take the pastry and wait for her to do the same. Then, when he was eating, her heart swelled with love for the brave, strong man in front of her. There did not appear to be any sides to him. He had stepped in to help her with barely any notice, and always seemed determined to do the best job possible. She knew that others could have at least tried to take advantage of an inexperienced woman trying to renovate a property in a foreign place without having a decent command of the language. But not Tom, he was too decent to do that sort of thing.

  They ate the rest of their food and Tom, refusing to let her pay the bill, went to settle it while she freshened up in the Ladies. She stared in the mirror wondering if Alice had also come in here to wash her hands and brush her hair. Had she also been as happy as Gemma was now, she wondered?

  Alice had spent an afternoon with a man she barely knew but was falling deeper in love with. Gemma thought Alice’s feelings towards Ed probably reflected her own attraction to Tom. It made her feel closer to the woman who she wished she could have met and swap stories with. She had so many unanswered questions, not least what happened between her and Ed. Had they been able to enjoy their happy ever after? She hoped so.

  She would just have to wait to discover what happened next in the rest of Alice’s letters, she decided happily. She checked her reflection in the mirror and left the bathroom to find Tom. She saw him before he noticed her, and her pulse raced as she watched his handsome face deep in thought as he waited for her by the hotel entrance.

  Chapter 21

  Alice

  July 1918

  Alice turned a corner near one of the wards when she spotted a patient stopping to speak to one of the nurses. Thinking it was Ed, she took a breath to call out to him, her heart soaring. He waved at a friend and she realised he was a stranger. What was she thinking? Ed wasn’t a patient any longer. He hadn’t been for almost two years.

  It had been two long months since she had last been held by him and she missed him terribly. She thought of the final kiss they’d shared and for a second Alice managed to recall the pressure of his firm lips on hers. Neither of them had wanted the moment to end. Knowing that he reciprocated her feelings went some way to sooth her.

  “Is something troubling you?” Mary asked coming up behind her.

  Alice sighed. “I was thinking about Ed.”

  “I thought you might be. What about him?” Mary linked her arm through Alice’s and pulled gently until they both began walking.

  “I miss him,” Alice admitted. “We exchange letters as often as possible, but we have to keep them bland, because he’s supposed to be my cousin. He still writes about Stuart, my fictional nephew, sending his love and that helps a little.” She sighed, miserably. “If only Matron didn’t have to read our mail. There’s so much we both want to say to each other.”

  “It’s madness,” Mary grimaced. “I write to Peter all the time and we don’t have to worry quite the same as you and Ed.”

  Alice wished it could be the same for her. “It’s a good thing Peter was never a patient, in more ways than one,” she smiled.

  Later that morning the postal van arrived. The women rushed with the others, hoping the orderly would allow them to take their letters before he delivered them to Matron’s office.

  “Now, now, ladies,” he shook his head. “You know I can’t break the rules for you. It would cause pandemonium if the other nurses were to find out. Off you go.”

  The others turned away, but Alice gave him a pleading look. “Not just this once?” she asked. “I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

/>   He signed heavily. “I’ve always been partial to a pretty face,” he said quietly. “Wait there while I have a quick look.”

  She checked that Matron wasn’t about, or any of the others who might suspect what she was doing. “I can carry one of the bags for you to her office, if you like,” she suggested, thinking it might divert attention if anyone did wonder what she was doing hanging around the postal van.

  “Blimey, I’ve found one,” he said, surreptitiously handing her an envelope. “Right, you’d better grab this bag and follow me.”

  She took it from his hand, her spirits soaring when she spotted Ed’s untidy handwriting. She would have to wait for a lull in the ward before reading it, but slipping it into her uniform pocket, she was soothed by the knowledge that she had a letter from Ed to read later.

  She waited for the orderly to pick up two other bags and followed him to Matron’s office. “I’ll leave it here,” she said, putting the bag on the wooden boards outside the door. “And, thank you,” she whispered.

  It was almost an hour later when Alice had caught up with her duties. Deciding to make the most it, she took a chance that she wouldn’t be missed and hurried around the back of the main ward. Withdrawing the envelope from her pocket, she noticed that the stamp was stuck on upside down this time. Intrigued, she gave up trying to decipher its meaning. She would have to ask him what it meant when she next saw him. Hearing Sister Brown’s piercing voice nearby, she quickly opened her letter.

  Dearest Alice,

  I miss you and pray that you are keeping well. I think of you often and the long hours you work in the tightly-packed ward, wishing I could take you away somewhere serene where we could simply be.

  I have written to Matron Bleasdale advising her that we have become close, I know we discussed doing this, and that I wish to request leave on your behalf. (My darling, I hope that I am not taking liberties with my timing by doing such a thing, please tell me if I am).

  I have been granted leave for three days at the beginning of August, despite how things are, and hope to meet you at the farm, if possible. There is something I wish to ask you.

  My fondest love, as always, dearest girl.

  Your Ed x

  Alice’s heart pounded nervously at the thought of Matron’s reaction to Ed’s request. She knew well enough to expect to be summoned soon. No doubt Matron would question the status of their closeness and when their relationship progressed from that of nurse and patient. She did not care. She loved Ed. Whether this war carried on for another few years, or not, she was not going to waste her life worrying about what others thought of her.

  They had both served their country long enough to earn the right to act as independent adults, hadn’t they? Her parents would have to lessen their grip on her at some point, too. She was tired of living by everyone else’s rules. Her mother would never be entirely satisfied with her choices, but Alice cared less and less whether or not she disappointed her. Life was short, everyone was only too well aware of that fact now, and she was determined to fight for what she wanted.

  She folded the thin paper carefully and slipping it back into its envelope, pushed it deep into her skirt pocket to read again later, when she was alone and able to think further about what he had said.

  The day passed slowly but with every sound of Matron’s voice, Alice tensed, immediately expecting to be called into her office. The time finally came after her shift had ended and she was walking back towards her tent.

  “Nurse Le Breton,” Matron called, her voice more abrupt sounding than usual. “Step into my office.”

  She stood facing Matron, waiting for her to close the office door and take her seat. She did so rather more slowly than normal, Alice mused. Or maybe it just felt that way because she was willing Matron to have her say and get it over with.

  Finally, Matron sighed wearily. “Nurse Le Breton,” she said in her most disapproving tone. “I have today received a letter from Captain Woodhall, with whom you correspond.” She waited for Alice to acknowledge the fact. “I am at a loss to understand how this has happened, since I have been vetting all mail.”

  Alice opened her mouth to explain.

  “No, say nothing,” Matron said, raising her hand. “I would rather you not implicate yourself. I believe we should leave the rest to my imagination.”

  Guilt coursed through Alice. She had never been underhand, always proud of her honesty and integrity.

  “Nurse Le Breton,” Matron said, raising her hand to stop her from speaking. “I would ordinarily press the need for regulations to be followed, however, I have given Captain Woodhall’s letter and its contents my full consideration.”

  Alice clasped her hands together in front of her apron. “Yes, Matron?”

  “In this instance, due to your unfailing dedication to your work and your consistent and thorough care of the patients, I have decided to overlook any,” she hesitated, “inconsistencies with the truth. I shall grant permission for you to take leave for the three days in August, that has been requested.”

  Alice’s mouth dropped open. She dared not speak until she had processed Matron’s words. “Thank you, Matron,” she said, slightly breathlessly.

  “I’ll write to the captain advising him that I have granted permission.” Matron lifted the small watch attached to the front of her uniform. “I expect you to keep this matter to yourself. You’d better return to your duties now. I believe we are expecting a further admission of patients again later this evening.”

  Alice managed to retain her composure as she walked calmly out of the office. She was going to spend three precious days with her Ed, away from the hospital. The thought of being able to eat her meals with him, walk and talk for three entire days was almost impossible for her to take in.

  She wrote to Ed immediately, aware that Matron would see her reply and careful not to undermine her feelings in any way. Days later Ed replied.

  Dearest Alice,

  We are about to go over the top and so this letter will be brief, I’m afraid.

  I am grateful indeed that you have been granted leave. I will meet you on 2nd of August outside the Hotel du Nord for afternoon tea. I have booked a room for you at Madam Gaston’s bed and breakfast at her farm. I believe she is a kindly, respectable woman who offers rooms to females only. I hope that this arrangement will be acceptable to you and your matron.

  I am thinking of you and look forward to being able to spend time with you.

  Yours, Ed x

  Alice winced at the thought of Ed having to leave the relative safety of his trench and climb out to cross the open spaces of No Man’s Land. She said a silent prayer for his safety and read on. Yes, she decided, she was more than happy with his reservation. She believed Matron would be content to note that she would be sleeping at a women’s only establishment for her time away from work, too.

  One day, Alice dreamed, she and Ed would be able to spend their nights together going to sleep and waking up in each other’s arms. That day could not come soon enough for her. She closed her eyes briefly picturing the scene. She had no assurance that the future they craved would be theirs, which is why, she reminded herself, she needed to make the most of any opportunity to be with Ed and relish his closeness.

  She folded his letter careful not to crease it, before slipping it back into its envelope. “Dearest Ed,” she whispered. “We will be together.”

  Now, all she had to do was focus on her work and keep as busy as possible to hope that the time between now and when she took her leave would pass as quickly as possible. As if on cue, the emergency siren sounded and the thunder of wheels on hard ground rumbled closer. She checked that her cap was straight and her apron smooth and hurried to join the other nurses to await the arrival of these new batch of injured men. She stood looking out towards the gates as Matron arrived, hands clasped in front of her apron, waiting in silence. The ambulances arrived, and the usual appointment of nurses and volunteers began. Grateful to be kept busy, but her
heart aching at the sight and sounds of these traumatised and damaged men, Alice set to work.

  As she accompanied an injured man on his blood-soaked stretcher to the surgical ward, she tried to gauge how many men she had helped look after since her arrival. It must be hundreds now. Alice thanked the orderlies as they lifted the patient who looked barely eighteen onto a freshly made up bed.

  “We’ll soon make you comfortable,” she assured him, aware that it would take more than a wash and a change of clothes to help this poor boy. The bandages around his arms and one leg were caked in blood and his face was contorted in pain. She wondered how long he had been in these dressings, and spotting Doctor Sullivan, waved at him.

  “Please, doctor,” she said quietly, trying not to alert the patient to her concern. “Can you look at this soldier? I believe he may need to be operated on sooner rather than later.”

  “I think I should be the judge of that, Nurse Le Breton,” he said. Alice was shocked by his tone and glanced up at him, catching him giving her a stare that was most disconcerting. She could not imagine what she had done to cause him disapproval. She hoped he hadn’t changed his mind about reporting seeing her the day she’d met Ed for tea. What if he did and matron rescinded her permission for her leave. Her stomach contracted in fear. “Doctor Sullivan,” she said trying not to panic.

  He shook his head. “Not right now, Nurse. I must look at what needs to be done for this patient.”

  Aware that she would have to wait, she said, “Would you like me to begin removing the dressings?”

  “Bring that trolley over here and we can both do it,” he said. “I need to be in surgery in a few minutes and can’t waste any time.”

  She pulled the trolley over, noticing that by the time she had picked up scissors to pass them to him, he had already removed one of the soldier’s bandages on his left arm.