Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash: Volume 2

by Ao Jyumonji

  One person. At a minimum, one person needs to stay behind. One person will delay Death Spots. Literally by putting their life on the line. That one person will die. If one person dies, the other five can live.

  It’s the only option. I know that. We’ll do it. While I’m agonizing over it, Moguzo could get taken down. If that happens, we’re finished. It’ll be a rout. Everyone will die. We’ll be wiped out. I can’t let that happen.

  I have to kill one person. In order to save five. But, who will it be? Who’s going to delay it? Do I have to say that to them? “Everyone’s going to run, so take care of that thing while we do. Please, die.” To, say, Moguzo, for instance?

  “—Okay!” Ranta jumped to his feet. It looked like he was healed.

  Haruhiro closed his eyes. “...I’m sorry, everyone.”

  For being such a pathetic leader.

  Still, I can’t do what I can’t do.

  Haruhiro grappled Death Spots from behind as it tried to beat Moguzo into the ground. He managed it surprisingly easily, though not enough to be disappointingly so.

  Because I’ve already resolved myself, and I don’t feel fear anymore, is that it? Doesn’t matter.

  Death Spots tried to shake off Haruhiro.

  I won’t let you do that. I’m not letting go.

  Clinging on desperately, Haruhiro pounded Death Spots’ in the head with the pommel of his dagger. He hit it again, and again. As he did, he shouted, “Moguzo, Ranta! Merry, Yume, Shihoru! Now’s your chance! Run away!”

  “B-B-But...!” someone said, Moguzo he thought, but he wasn’t sure.

  “Just do it...!” Haruhiro was frantic. He whacked it with the dagger. Over and over.

  Death Spots was still a kobold and its body structure made it even less able to reach its arms around behind its back than a human. Still, it was managing to strike Haruhiro with its elbows or something. It didn’t seem like it would be able to slice him with the knife-sword, but it was able to hit Haruhiro in the back and in the head.

  Oh, crap. I feel like I’m about to start whimpering. I feel like I’m going to lose my grip before I can start whimpering. I won’t lose my grip, though.

  “—Are you going to make my death be in vain?!” he shouted. “I’m not going to make it! Look how beat up I am! I’m done! Please, run! Come on, I’m begging you!”

  “Let’s go!” Ranta shouted.

  Oh, Ranta.

  That’s good, you being like that. There’s the Ranta I know. We’d be in real trouble without you in the party. Keep on dragging everyone along with you that way. It’s something only you can do. I’m counting on you.

  For a moment, Haruhiro saw Yume looking in his direction. But Yume’s body was facing the other way—she’d just turned her head back to look. She was getting ready to go. He felt relieved. If Yume would run, he was sure Shihoru would, too.

  Yume, when you patted my head, I thought, “Oh, this is nice.” Shihoru, don’t drag your memories of Manato with you for too long.

  “Haru!” Merry shouted his name.

  Go. Please, go. You know, I think I had started to like you, and I want you to live on, Merry, so, please, just go.

  He could hear Moguzo roar, his voice fading into the distance.

  That’s good, thought Haruhiro. Run, Moguzo. You’re strong. You’ve definitely been getting stronger. You’ll get even stronger still. Moguzo, you’re the core of the party. We’re all dependent on you, you could say.

  But, it’s not “we” anymore, huh.

  Because I won’t be part of the group anymore.

  I’m all alone now.

  Not that there was any helping it. I made the choice myself.

  I couldn’t have made any other choice. I could never have asked one of you to die for me. If I was going to have to do that, I figured I’d rather die myself.

  I’m sure this must be hard on all of you. You don’t want to sacrifice me to survive, do you? I don’t want you to think of it that way, but you will, won’t you?

  Still, I want you to overcome it. I dunno how to say this, but unless you overcome it, it won’t have been worth me pulling this stupid stunt.

  Michiki. Ogu. Mutsumi.

  If I die here, will I end up like you did?

  If I do, I hope Merry will cast Dispel on me. Please, turn me to ashes. Once that happens, just maybe, will someone join the party and take my place?

  You know, somehow... That makes me feel incredibly lonely, and sad. I wish I hadn’t imagined that. Though, maybe, I was just at my limit.

  Haruhiro felt his body floating in the air.

  Uh oh.

  He’d let go.

  He’d let go of Death Spots.

  He fell to the ground. Death Spots was getting ready to run. Wasn’t he going to kill Haruhiro? Did he plan to leave the half-dead Haruhiro behind and chase down the rest of the party?

  No. No, no, no, no, no, no.

  How much time had Haruhiro bought them? How far had his comrades run? It felt to him like a long time had passed. But, maybe it wasn’t actually that long? He couldn’t tell.

  “Hey...!”

  Haruhiro rose up. Death Spots didn’t turn around.

  I won’t let you go. Did you think I would?

  Don’t be ridiculous.

  —At that moment, he saw the line.

  It wasn’t blurry, Haruhiro saw a line of light, plain as day, and he moved.

  I’m slow, he thought. Why am I so slow? But it’s not just me, Death Spots is slow, too. Well, I guess that’s fine, then.

  I managed to catch up and all.

  Is this the spot? On Death Spots’ back? There must be an internal organ or something here, huh.

  He leapt onto the kobold, stabbing his dagger in there. It slid in smoothly, reaching the spot.

  Haruhiro didn’t doubt it for a moment. This was the end.

  Death Spots tripped, falling down where it was.

  For some time, Haruhiro buried his face in Death Spots’ filthy fur, but eventually he rolled over on to his side.

  When he tried to speak, a strange ohhh sound leaked out from the back of his throat. When he tried touching his face and neck, it was all a mess of blood. There was pain, too. It then crossed his mind, What’ll I do if they leave me behind like this? I’d really rather not have that happen. Though, I don’t think I can move.

  “Heyyyyy...” Haruhiro managed to raise his voice and call for his comrades.

  He believed they would come for him.

  He was right.

  17. A Lie and Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

  “Yo, Harucchi! I heard, I heard, taking down Death Spots is, like, super cool! I might just get jealous of you myself! Yay, jealousy!”

  While they were drinking at Sherry’s Tavern, Kikkawa came over, as noisy and irritating as ever. Thanks to all of Ranta’s bragging, it was widely known that Haruhiro and his group had taken down the Death Spots.

  Well, not that I mind. Even if we just got lucky, it’s true we took down Death Spots, and it feels better than being called the Goblin Slayers forever.

  “Ahhh. Still, thank goodness,” Yume rested her head in her arms at the table, sighing. “Honestly, Yume kept on thinkin’ we might be done for.”

  “Y-Yeah,” said Moguzo, sounding a little sleepy. “It was really dangerous...”

  Shihoru looked resentfully at Haruhiro “...And a certain someone had to do something crazy.”

  “No, that was, you know...” Haruhiro scratched his head, then coughed to clear his throat. “—Yeah. I’m reflecting on my actions. I’m sorry.”

  “Huh...?” Shihoru looked down, awkwardly. “I-It was a joke. I wasn’t blaming you or anything. Really, I mean it...”

  Yume hummed pensively, “If Haru-kun hadn’t stopped Tetrapods, Yume and everyone might’ve met our mutual disruption.”

  “...Yume. It’s mutual destruction, okay? Not mutual disruption.” Haruhiro had to correct her.

  Yume cocked her head to the side quizzically. “Hu
h? Mutual deathtruction?”

  “No, wrong. Not death, des. Also, it’s not Tetrapods, it’s Death Spots.”

  “Oh. Is it? It’s all so confusin’.”

  “B-B-But, still!” Moguzo said, pointing to the knife-sword he had at his side. “It all worked out well in the end. All’s well that ends well, they say...”

  “That’s right, huh. Moguzo, you ended up gettin’ yourself a new weapon and all.”

  “Yeah...” Shihoru nodded. “That bastard sword was getting pretty beaten up...”

  “I-It was, wasn’t it?” Moguzo had a big grin on his face. “What should I do? About a name for this sword. I’ve been wondering what I should call it. I can’t come up with anything...”

  Yume offered “Carving Knife-kun #1” as a suggestion, but Shihoru reservedly objected.

  It seems like Moguzo wants to give it a cool name, but what’s cool, I wonder? External Blaze Executioner, or something like that?

  Haruhiro decided not to say the name he’d come up with. No matter what, that one’s just too awful. Isn’t there anything good?

  Ranta was off making merry with Kikkawa. Both of them were telling the other volunteer soldiers stories of their exploits with Death Spots. Somehow, they were making it sound like Kikkawa had been there, too, and Haruhiro wasn’t sure if he was okay with that or not.

  A little earlier, Merry had said she was going to speak to Hayashi and had gone up to the second level. Maybe this would help her come to terms with things a little.

  Haruhiro took a sip of beer, frowning a bit. It’s bitter.

  I’m glad no one had to die. I’m relieved that I was able to survive. Still, I can’t be happy from the bottom of my heart. Was it okay like that? Didn’t I make a mistake? Wasn’t there a better way, a better option I could have chosen? At the time, I thought it was the best I could do.

  Right now, if I found myself in the same situation, I feel like I would end up doing the same thing again. But is that really okay? Wasn’t there some measure I could have taken before we ended up in that desperate situation?

  With nothing but regrets coming to mind, I can’t really be happy. It doesn’t seem that way for everyone else, though. Why is that? Why is it just me?

  Haruhiro was the leader, and that made him different from the rest of his comrades.

  Is that why? There’s a gap there. Is there any way to fill it? Are things always going to be like this...?

  “What’s up?” someone asked, tapping him on the shoulder. When he looked, it was Merry. She was pretty close, which startled him a bit.

  “...Ah. You’re back?”

  “Yeah. I am now. Did something happen?” she asked.

  “Wh-Why?” he stammered.

  “You were acting a little strange.”

  “Really? I don’t think I was. There’s nothing much... really.”

  Merry smiled slightly. “You’re a bad liar, Haru.”

  “...Am I?” Haruhiro slid his chair over a bit and Merry sat in the seat next to him.

  Yume, Shihoru and Moguzo were still passionately debating what the knife-sword’s name should be.

  I found myself wanting to talk to Merry. A few days ago, I might have opened up to her about my worries, but I won’t do that anymore. Probably, it’s because I’ve developed an awareness of my position. Whether or not I have the ability, or the aptitude—I’m the party’s leader, aren’t I? If I don’t keep myself together, everyone will die.

  “Really, it’s nothing.” Haruhiro said, then smiled and added, “Well, that’s a lie, but I’m not lying.”

  Merry put her hand on Haruhiro’s shoulder again. Merry’s soft hand didn’t linger long, but it was enough to make Haruhiro feel rewarded for his efforts.

  I won’t laugh at myself for being simple and easily pleased. When something makes you happy, it’s okay to be happy. Because the good time won’t last forever. They might end at any time.

  “Hey, Haruhiro!” Ranta and Kikkawa had their arms around each others shoulders and came skipping over to him. “The rest of you guys, too! C’mere for a bit! Kemuri from the Day Breakers just happens to be here for a drink, and he wants to treat us to a round for taking down Death Spots!”

  “You may never get another ce-chan like this, Harucchi! Ce-chan-ce-chan!”

  “...What’s a ce-chan supposed to be?” Haruhiro shrugged his shoulders and sighed, then blinked a few times. “Huh? Wait, the Day Breakers? You mean Souma’s group?”

  “Ohhh,” Yume’s eyes went wide.

  “...Somehow, this has turned into a big deal...” Shihoru shrunk into herself.

  Moguzo kept standing up and sitting down, saying, “Wh-Wh-Wh-What should we do?”

  “It’s a kind offer,” Merry said, looking unfazed. “So why don’t we go?”

  Haruhiro was a bit surprised to find himself immediately nodding. Up until yesterday, regardless of what the final decision had been, he would have started by hesitating. What was different between the him of yesterday and the him of today? What would the him of tomorrow be like?

  If he didn’t die today, he would get to meet the him of tomorrow. Just perhaps, that might be a wonderful thing.

  “Let’s go, everyone,” he said.

  Afterword

  Occasionally, I wonder what the ideal game is to me. I’ve played a lot of RPGs. So is it a game of that type, perhaps?

  The ones that left a strong impression on me are Dragon Quest III and V, Final Fantasy II, IV, and VII, as well as Romancing SaGa, and also the MMORPGs Ultima Online and EverQuest, I suppose. RPGs of the same type as the ones I just listed or of types that developed from them are still being produced today, but it feels like rather than following a path of evolving, they’re following one of growing depth, or perhaps of division into narrow subcategories.

  Furthermore, when it comes to MMORPGs, World of Warcraft swept the globe, and with later games finding ways to compensate for its weaknesses and refine the formula, it feels to me like it’s been nearly perfected, and we’re seeing the limits of what can be done.

  When I first touched Dragon Quest, Final Fantasy, and the early MMORPGS, I was struck with the feeling that a new world was expanding before my eyes. My own small, narrow world was instantly expanded, and I set foot into it. Everything I saw and heard was new, and I didn’t want to leave. As a matter of fact, there was a period where I shut myself away in there.

  What kind of game would have to appear to make me feel as I did back then? Is that something that can be brought about by the advance of technology? Or can existing elements be combined to create a new type of game? Will a person who creates games that no one has ever imagined before suddenly appear?

  No matter how much I think about it, I never come to an answer. Perhaps the boundaries of my world will never be widened by a game again.

  But, fortunately, I have novels. There are limits to what someone like me can write, and due to my lack of ability and inexperience, nothing I write turns out as I’d like, and I fumble to take even a half-step, let alone a full one, forward.

  When I try to write a certain novel, I always lose my nerve. Am I capable of writing it? Is it too much for me?

  Even so, I continue to write, somehow, and in that time, I’m simply desperate. When I look back once I finish writing, there’s a path behind me. Then, I’m able to see I’ve walked all this way.

  I’ve run out of pages.

  To my editor, K, to Eiri Shirai-san, to the designers of KOMEWORKS, among others, to everyone involved in production and sales of this book, and finally, to all of you people now holding this book, I offer my heartfelt appreciation and all of my love. Now, I lay down my pen for today. I hope we will meet again.

  Ao Jyumonji

  Sign up for our mailing list at J-Novel Club to hear about new releases!

  Newsletter

  And you can read the latest chapters (like Vol. 3 of this series!) by becoming a J-Novel Club Member:

  J-Novel Club Membership

  Copyrigh
t

  Grimgar of Fantasy and Ash: Volume 2

  by Ao Jyumonji

  Translated by Sean McCann

  Edited by Emily Sorensen

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Copyright © 2013 Ao Jyumonji

  Illustrations Copyright © 2013 Eiri Shirai

  Cover illustration by Eiri Shirai

  All rights reserved.

  Original Japanese edition published in 2013 by OVERLAP

  This English edition is published by arrangement with OVERLAP, Inc., Tokyo

  English translation © 2017 J-Novel Club LLC

  All rights reserved. In accordance with the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, the scanning, uploading, and electronic sharing of any part of this book without the permission of the publisher is unlawful piracy and theft of the author’s intellectual property.

  J-Novel Club LLC

  j-novel.club

  The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.

  Ebook edition 1.0: February 2017