The Naughty Box (9 books in 1 box set)

by Davis, SJ

  "Stop calling me your boss." Russell fought a flinch every time they referred to his promotion. The three of them conducted their daily challenge since the summer after college when they began working in the computer configuration department of Managed Solutions. They all worked their way up, providing their customers complete turnkey computer systems. Two months ago, he broke out of the pack with a promotion to Solution Architect. Suddenly his friends were his employees. Still, certain traditions needed to be kept, especially when it came to resurrecting technology from the 1990's or putting something together out of discarded parts. Lauren got a kick out of what he would bring home. He patted the putty colored machine as it purred.

  "What gives?" Tom pushed his hair out of his eyes. He stood and leaned over the desk to inspect the computer. "For the last week you have been on a roll. Are you getting laid or something?"

  He froze. Was it that noticeable when a man had sex? Of course, they didn't know the type of sex. When Jason conjured his plan and promised Russell the best sex in his life, he wasn't kidding. The three of them together was incredible, yet he wondered what Ken and Tom would do if they knew that for the last six nights he slept in bed with his two best friends.

  Yes, for the last week he went home, more like rushed home, and the three of them continued where they left off the night before. Every morning they woke, usually in his room, but once in Lauren's, and once in Jason's, and smiled that smile that only lovers share. Lovers?

  Thankfully, the rumble of his cell phone vibrating against his desk jolted him out of his thoughts. As if on automatic, he picked up the square of glass and metal.

  What up? Jason sent the text to both him and Lauren.

  No, Jason and him were not lovers. The computer I just managed to fix. RS. He tapped back and made sure to add his initials, a habit he started a long time ago.

  LOL. Lauren came in next. Profit for the doctor I just left. Jase?

  "Chicks like a dude in a suit." Ken came around to his side of the desk.

  "Whatever." Russell forced himself to speak. Jason and him were not lovers. They were just lovers with the same woman at the same time. "At least I'm not wearing dirty khakis and a stained short sleeved white button down." Jason always made sure he didn't dress like a computer geek. No, Jason did not dress him and they were not lovers. His phone buzzed again.

  I'll tell you what's up. Jason piped in.

  Okay. Jason was telling them both about his erection or erection potential, but the fact that it gave Russell some potential of his own did not make the two of them lovers.

  I say we start our evening now. Let's repeat last night. Jason continued to text.

  Russell pushed his glasses up. Last night they started in Lauren's room and went for round two in his room. This morning his muscles ached as if he spent two hours working out. Lauren had to be sore. He fought a smile. The few yoga classes Lauren took paid off, she was exceptionally limber. Damn it, he was working. He couldn't leave to join them.

  Them.

  There was another red flag word. Not her. Them.

  "Maybe women don't like to be called chicks and that's why you're dating your hand." Tom elbowed Russell and laughed. "What does your gal pal think of your new found fling?"

  "Gal pal?" Russell slapped Ken's hand away from the computer and glanced at his phone again.

  Russell is playing hard to get. Lauren added a smile to her text.

  He wanted to answer, preferably using the word hard. No, what he really wanted to do was take advantage of his promotion and leave early.

  Tom twisted around to face him. "Yeah, Lauren. If she's lonely let me know."

  Russell took a moment to process what his friend said. He didn't realize he grit his teeth together until that horrendous scratching sound reverberated through his skull. A month ago, a comment like Tom's would have had him giving a fake grin and telling his friend to go for it. However, now he had Lauren, and Tom wasn't touching her, or thinking about her. She was his. Well, not only his. He shared her with Jason. "She's fine." They were all fine.

  "She's always done the boy toy." Ken's finger made its way toward the floppy disk drive. "It's always been the boy toy and the gal pal."

  In an effort to stop himself from grabbing both Ken and Tom and slamming their heads together, Russell pounded his phone and typed the next message.

  I'm not hard…yet. RS. He would show his friends who was getting some. Though not one to kiss and tell, he was going to break his silence and tell them exactly who was doing the gal pal besides the boy toy.

  RS is sexting. Jason sent over a wink face. Talk about getting hard.

  Maybe Jason was getting hard over his "sexting" but his stomach tightened when he realized that if Ken and Tom weren't here, he would be as well.

  I may not be getting hard, but I'm getting something else.

  Lauren's text caused him to arch his back. He didn't have anything to prove to anything to anyone.

  RS better not say he can't come cause he's having some contest. He's the boss, and we can have our own contest with a lot less silicon and a lot more hardware.

  Russell swore Jason could read his thoughts. He pursed his lips trying to figure this out.

  "Jason's not doing her." Tom took his turn to hit Ken's hand.

  Russell stopped his texting or sexting or whatever to hear Tom's reasoning.

  Ken crossed his arms. "It's so obvious."

  "Then it's obvious you know nothing." Tom sat back down in his chair. "Jason isn't into Lauren."

  Russell hit his head against the back of his chair and lifted his phone to read Lauren's response.

  If RS leaves now, we will COME home at the same time.

  Jason answered. The two of you better be on the way. I'll get everything ready.

  Russell swallowed. His male best friend was preparing them for a night of lovemaking. Even sicker was he already had dinner in the crockpot.

  Screw this. As the boss he could go home if he wanted. Before he typed his response, the insane conversation continued.

  "Expound on your theory." Ken pointed at Tom.

  "The boy toy only plays with other boys." Tom nodded.

  "Jason's gay!" Ken hit the desk. "I always thought he looked at me funny."

  "What!" Russell shot up out of his chair causing it to roll back and hit the wall. "He is not gay." If anything he knew, he slept with the man.

  "I think thou dost protest too much." Tom winked at him.

  He opened his mouth, but his phone went off again.

  Russ? Lauren texted.

  "Dude, hey. I was just joking." Tom held his hand out. "Even if Jason is gay it doesn't make you gay. You're getting laid."

  Yes, he was getting laid. Laid with his two best friends, one who happened to be a man. What did that mean? More than that, what did the three of them mean? Once again the phone vibrated.

  I think I need to finish some calls. Lauren let him off the hook. Russ needs to work.

  He didn't need to be in the same room as Lauren to know she had her lower lip pursed out even if she was trying to smile. All he wanted to do was go to them. Both of them.

  Russ needs something else. Jason prodded.

  He nodded. Yes, he needed something else, but he wasn't sure what. This wasn't as easy as bringing his ancient components to life. I'll be home in twenty-five. RS

  ***

  Jason glared at his phone when Russell's ring tone chimed. His friend better not be on the way here. Actually, Russell shocked him by agreeing to throw down his tie and leave. He supposed it was testament to what great orgasms could accomplish.

  He tossed his pencil aside, stepping back from his canvas to assess his work. The creative juices were literally and figuratively flowing ever since little Laurie crawled through his trio tunnel. His two best friends and sex combined better than oil on canvas, or should he say were stunning in oil on canvas.

  The only problem was, this wasn't supposed to be what he was creating. Not technically.
/>   He didn't have enough art for a show, and his agent continued to try to get him to do contract work. Art for hire.

  Yes, he considered the projects, especially after his disastrous exhibit. Of course, for weeks he didn't even enter the studio. He couldn’t create a thing, not even a straight line.

  Then one Sunday afternoon inspiration hit. Not that he didn't think of this before, but this Sunday possessed a different energy.

  That Sunday they all hung around the house and decided to watch movies. He tried to paint, sketch, anything, but ended up in the family room with his two best friends. He noticed the three of them went out solo less and less. Lauren sat between them, her arms interlinked in both his and Russell's. An innocent gesture, probably one she made a million times over the years.

  At Lauren's touch, he relaxed, put his feet up on the coffee table and almost reached down and grabbed her hand. It was natural, right, and he leaned up to find Russell staring down at her hand as well.

  Since second grade they shared everything.

  Well, almost everything.

  Neither of them ever had a successful relationship, maybe because they didn't share.

  The moment he cemented the idea in his head he went to the studio to draw.

  His phone went off a second time jolting him out of his thoughts. He prepared himself for battle and read the text message.

  You said you'd get everything ready. Home in ten open the wine. RS

  Don't text and drive. He typed back and shook his head. To this day, Russell felt the need to initial all his texts as if they were an official correspondence. He made one quick swipe with his pencil, covered up his latest masterpiece in waiting and dashed out of his studio. They decided to eat before the night's festivities.

  Stop light. Turn off the crockpot. RS

  K. He hit send and went into the kitchen, pulling the crockpot plug out of the wall. Lauren only used the crockpot about two times a year when she got on some housewife kick. He didn't really understand the crockpot. No matter what one made, or the ingredients used, everything tasted exactly the same, but this was the first time Russell used the crockpot.

  He lifted the lid and let the steam out trying to figure out if Russell knew some magic about crockpot cookery when his phone went off again.

  Put the lid back on. RS

  He slammed the lid down, almost dropping it as to not to get caught by the crockpot police and backed up toward the cupboard to get the wine. How did Russell know these things? More importantly why did Russell use the crockpot?

  This morning he came out of the shower to find Russell playing happy homemaker dicing onions and cubing beef. Jason wanted to suggest they all go out tonight, they hadn't really left the house all together since they went to the art gallery. Both he and Russell made milk and condom runs, and every time Russell went he came back with some sort of ingredients to make dinner.

  He got the corkscrew and pondered the week's menu thus far. Steak, spaghetti, chicken Marsala, breakfast for dinner, and tonight's crockpot extravaganza. Why did Russell use the crockpot? Dinner was way too planned.

  Once more his phone needed attention.

  Home in five I hope we have wine : - )

  He ground his teeth together. Lauren should not be texting and driving. When she drove she shouldn't be doing anything else but driving. He even toyed with the idea of taking the mp3 player out of her car. Something about Lauren and driving didn't mix. Over the years she suffered her fender benders and close calls, and her job consisted of a lot of driving. Everyday he cringed when she left. There was many a day he went with her to work knowing he would worry until she returned. The anxiety became worse ever since they were together.

  He lifted his finger and went to chide Lauren for texting while driving, but then decided not to fuel her female mind's need to answer back. Instead, he opened the wine, got down the glasses and stalked the door.

  Exactly ten minutes after Russell texted he would be home, his car came down the street, and he pulled into his spot in the driveway.

  The slam of Russell's car door echoed outside, and at last the jingle of his keys.

  Jason crossed his arms.

  The door opened and Russell stopped short right in front of him. "Hello."

  Jason pointed at him.

  "Did you open the wine?" Russell swatted his hand away and put his bag down.

  He nodded.

  Russell took off his suit jacket. It used to be that after setting his laptop case aside he would yank his tie off, but since Monday Lauren had been taking the tie off, and now his friend waited for her to do it.

  "How's dinner?" Russell reached up for his tie and stopped in midair.

  "Why don't you tell me? You made it." He grinned.

  "Did you already dip into the wine?" Russell leaned forward.

  He met his friend nose to nose. "Why did you use the crockpot?"

  Russell swallowed. "Because I thought we might be hungry for dinner."

  Before he got the chance to ask why they couldn't go out to assuage their hunger, the alarm beeped on Lauren's car. They both turned like dogs in heat anticipating their master's return. He frowned at his own analogy and then remembered why he really frowned. Miss text and drive.

  Lauren bounded up the porch stairs. "Hi!"

  Russell held his arms out. "Honey you're home."

  A joke from Russell coupled with crockpot cookery made Jason wonder if maybe his best friend was nesting. Russell was a man who needed to be in a relationship.

  Rather than giving Russell a hug, she hoisted her purse higher on her shoulder and grabbed his tie. She pulled him down and gave him a peck while she unknotted the tie, pulling it out from around his collar.

  Russell rewarded Lauren's attention by giving her another kiss, this one a bit more than a peck, followed by him taking her bag.

  It was always weird watching a couple do their thing, but in this case Jason was part of it, and he straightened up in anticipation of his own homecoming ritual.

  Normally, or what was the new normally, Lauren would come up to him, ask him how the art went, and brush his bangs aside. Bang brushing had been done his entire life from a variety of people except for the one summer he shaved his head and the winter it took to grow it back. However, Lauren's technique was special, she used her nails and licked her lips. Talk about getting those juices flowing.

  After she did her tie removing and her bang pushing, they would have dinner and head straight to the bedroom. It wasn't a bad routine, but they were becoming routine. He wondered if anyone else noticed.

  She went to him, her arm lifting, nails primed for premium bang brushing. "You didn't answer my text."

  Shit. The text. The text in the car. "Yes, speaking of the text." He caught her hand.

  "What text?" Russell put her bag down and closed the door.

  "The text she sent me asking me if we had wine and telling me she was five minutes away." He held her arm up as if he were playing keep away, but in this case he was only playing keep away with himself and his bangs. Therefore, this was a game he was losing, but like the crockpot, it needed to be dealt with. "That would mean she was driving when she sent the text."

  "Lauren Marie Redmond!" The use of her full name coming from Russell said it all.

  She flinched and pursed her lower lip out.

  "Tell her to put that away." Russell pointed at her mouth.

  He wanted to tell her to get to licking her lips, but in order to have her lick her lips, he needed to make sure she remained attached to them. "We don't want you texting and driving."

  "Or looking at your phone and driving." Russell began counting items off his fingers. "Or touching your phone and driving."

  "I'm a sales rep." The pout left and she lifted her chin. "I have work to do on the phone."

  "Speaking of which." He elbowed Russell. "She shouldn't take orders while driving."

  "You guys are crazy! I have a job to do, orders to take, texts to write, calls to answer."
She struggled to get her hand back.

  "I've seen how you write orders." He brushed his own bangs back to wipe the sweat off his brow. "You never have a pen, then there's the paper issue, and then there's the actual writing where you struggle to make it legible."

  "Jason!" She shook her arm.

  "Last time I watched you take an order in the car you wrote it in lipstick on your window and swerved, and that doesn't count the ticket you got for being on your phone without a headset or when you rammed into the curb because you were reading a text and my dad had to get rid of the dent before your boss found out." This was also around the time he started going to work with her.

  She gasped. "You promised not to tell!"

  "Oh my God!" Russell took her other hand, held it up and turned to him. "Why would you tell me that?"

  "Because I know and now you have to know." He puffed out his chest.

  "This is going to make me crazy. Now I'm going to be at work picturing everything Lauren can do in the car to try to get herself hurt, injured or killed!"

  "Hurt and injured are the same thing." She tapped her foot.

  "That's not funny." Russell pulled her closer and spoke in a low tone one would use for laying down the law to a teenager who missed their curfew. "No more anything but speaking on your headset in your car, if they need to order they will understand you are driving and will call back."

  She didn't say a word.

  "Lauren." Russell narrowed his eyes.

  She shifted her focus up to the ceiling.

  "Do we make ourselves clear?" Jason stepped into the role as well.

  "You told Russell after you promised not to." She sucked in her cheeks.

  "We won't have you getting distracted while driving, we like you alive." Jason wagged his finger at her. "Things are different now."

  Though she didn't brush his bangs back, she did lick her lips. She lowered her eyes and stopped fighting them. "I love that you're upset. I won't do it anymore."

  Both he and Russell took a breath. They nodded at each other and released her.

  "I made dinner and we do have wine." Russell rubbed her shoulder.

  "We've turned into quite the homebodies." Lauren laughed. "I don't remember the last time we went out."