Shadows from the Grave

by Haddix, T. L.

  He sat on the couch in Annie’s living room and watched as she teased Murphy with the laser pointer. As active as the young cat was, Chase could see he was beginning to tire. Annie finally took mercy on him and put the toy aside. Murphy stayed where he was, on his back on the rug in front of the couch.

  “He’s so adorable when he does that,” Annie said. She leaned back and tucked her legs up underneath her. “He’ll be out like a light in a couple minutes.”

  Chase smiled but didn’t say anything. They watched the small orange tabby, and before long, his legs had relaxed in four directions, a back foot giving a twinge now and then as he fell asleep. When a loud clap of thunder sounded, they all jumped, including Murphy, who went from asleep to on his feet in a flash. His tail was twice the normal size, and the fur on his back stood straight up. Annie burst out laughing, clapping her hand over her mouth to stifle the sound. Murphy shot her an affronted glare, his dignity challenged, and stalked off to the kitchen and his food bowl. When Chase didn’t laugh at the startled cat, she frowned, concerned.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked.

  “No, not really,” he responded, his face inscrutable. “Talking about it won’t help. I’m tired of talking about it, tired of thinking about it.” He reached a hand out to her, and she took it. He linked their fingers and played with her nails, a pensive expression on his face. “I do have something I need to tell you, though.”

  Annie didn’t speak, just waited while he gathered his thoughts. Unable to sit still, he kissed her hand and stood to pace. When the lights flickered, Annie got up and lit some of the candles scattered around the room. As she touched the flame to the last one, the power went off.

  Chase gave a sigh of relief. What he was about to say was going to be difficult and embarrassing. He hoped he could get through it before the lights came back on.

  “Should I be worried?” she asked as she sat back down on the couch. Murphy jumped up beside her and settled in to bathe. She absently scratched him behind his ears as she watched Chase. He shrugged and sent her a rueful smile.

  “I guess that depends on your perspective. I’ve known for a while that I’d have to make this confession. Knowing hasn’t made it any easier, though, it would appear.” When he saw the deep concern on her face, he sighed. “I’m scaring you. I don’t mean to.”

  She stood and moved to stand in front of him. She placed her hands on his arms and gave him a reassuring smile. “Think of this like a bandage, Chase. It hurts less if you just rip it off and get it over with.”

  Chase groaned and looked away. He knew she was right, and he took a deep breath to do just that. “I’m… I’m uh, well. Damn it, this is embarrassing!” He swallowed. “I don’t want to see you look at me differently, Annie.”

  “Chase, are you going to confess to murder?” she asked, her voice calm.

  “What? No!” he said, astonished.

  “Okay, then. Are you married? Gay?”

  Chase scowled. “No, don’t be ridiculous.”

  Annie smiled gently. “Then I can’t imagine anything you could say that would change the way I look at you, much less the way I feel about you.”

  “Not even if I told you I’m still a virgin?” He watched as Annie laughed, obviously thinking he was joking. When she realized he wasn’t, the laughter drained away, replaced by shock.

  With a jerky nod, he pulled away. “I’m going to sit down now.” He moved to the couch and sat beside Murphy. Resting his head in his hands, he rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. After a full minute went by, and Annie hadn’t said anything, Chase looked up. She hadn’t moved; she just stood and stared at him.

  “Well, say something. Anything,” he begged. She shook off her surprise and came to sit next to him on the couch.

  “How?” she asked, completely dumbfounded.

  Chase spread his hands. “I’m not sure,” he confessed. “It certainly wasn’t something I’d planned.”

  Annie sat back against the cushions. She propped her head on her hand and frowned. “But Chase, you’re… I mean, well…” Her voice trailed off. “You’re serious?” she asked. “This isn’t some weird joke?”

  “I’ve never been more serious in my life.”

  “All those weekends you left town—we all thought you were going to meet a girlfriend somewhere,” she said.

  Over the years, Chase had taken short trips several times a year. It was something he had remained closed-mouthed about, and something his friends and family had long teased him about.

  “I know,” he admitted. “I didn’t do anything to disabuse you all of that impression. I didn’t want you to know the truth. It isn’t something I’m proud of.”

  “So where were you all those weekends, if you weren’t meeting women?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “Concerts, plays, ballgames sometimes. I’d go do genealogy research quite often, or sometimes I’d just check into a hotel room for the weekend.”

  She was still struggling with his revelation. “I’m sorry, Chase. I don’t mean to doubt you, but I just can’t believe you’re still a virgin!”

  There was no humor in Chase’s laughter. “Why, because I’m thirty-two years old?”

  “No. Well, maybe that’s a little of it,” she hedged. “It’s more that you’re so… self-possessed and confident. So male. I would never have dreamed you didn’t have experience. Until recently, when you started talking about everything that happened ten years ago, I kind of figured you were like Jason and Ethan, but you just didn’t want the world to see what you were doing. Not that they’re promiscuous or anything, but they’re more open about certain things. You know what I’m trying to say. I hope.”

  Chase blew out a tense breath, and even managed to laugh a little at her description. “Well, that’s a relief.” Unable to sit still, he stood and walked around the living room. “Until recently, I tried to put it to the back of my mind. If I ignored it, it wasn’t real.”

  “How did you end up still a virgin?” she asked as she watched him pace, her tone serious.

  “I was never all that popular until I made friends with Ethan,” Chase said. “I was awkward, shy, the typical ninety-eight pound geek. I got teased and beat up quite a bit. Mom and Dad finally signed me up for kickboxing when I was fifteen, and I had a growth spurt that summer.” He sent her a mischievous grin. “When I went back to school that fall, I was ready for the bullies. Ethan was the first and the last that year to try stuffing me in a locker. He kind of took me under his wing after that.”

  Annie smiled and shook her head. “It’s hard to imagine Ethan as a bully.”

  “He was pretty obnoxious at that age,” he explained. “He had a lot of issues to work through.”

  “So what happened?” she asked.

  Chase went back to the couch and sat down before he answered. “I was still too shy to do much more than talk to girls in high school. Hell, in college, too. I dated a little before Kiely, but most of my friends were geeks, like me. We weren’t exactly surrounded by opportunities to get laid. I’ve always tended to bury myself in projects, and I did that in college. Then I met Kiely.” He sighed.

  “I was ready to make that commitment, to take things to the next level. Then the internship came up, and you know what happened from there,” he said. Murphy stood and stretched, then climbed into Chase’s lap with a purr. Chase gave the cat a close hug and cradled him the way he liked to be held, one hand rubbing his chest between his front paws.

  “But you’ve dated since then,” Annie stated. “I know you have.”

  “Not as much as you think, I’ll bet. Yes, I’ve gone on a few dates here and there, but I’ve always been a little hesitant to get involved. There’ve been women over the years who were only interested in dating me because I had a girlfriend who was murdered.”

  Annie’s jaw dropped. “Now I know you’re joking. At least I hope you are.”

  He shook his head. “Nope. One woman Gordon set me up with, as a matt
er of fact. She seemed really nice, stable. I started to think ‘Hey, this just might work.’ It didn’t.”

  “I’m almost afraid to ask.”

  “Third date. I take her home, we’re saying goodnight in the car—”

  Annie interrupted. “By ‘saying goodnight,’ you mean what?” She smiled when Chase shot her a look. “Well? It’s important to have the right context of these things.”

  “We were kissing, okay?” he replied, uncomfortable.

  “Okay. That’s all I needed to know.” She took a drink to hide her grin. “Continue, please.”

  Chase reached out and grabbed one of her curls, tugging gently. “Behave,” he warned her in a mock-stern voice. “So things are getting heated, and she draws back, asks me to come inside. We’re moving fast, but I don’t care. I was twenty-four or so, and I thought ‘Yes, finally!’” He took a long drink of his beer and set the bottle down on the coffee table with careful precision. “Then she says, ‘And you can tie me up, and I’ll pretend to be dead. Won’t that be fun?’ You’ve never seen anyone end a date so fast.”

  Annie was speechless. Chase continued, “She wasn’t the first, and she wasn’t the last, but she was definitely the most direct. Although, I have to say, Gordon has never tried to set me up with any more blind dates,” he said, tongue-in-cheek.

  “My God, Chase, I am so sorry,” Annie said, appalled. “I’ve been on some rough dates, but nothing like that.”

  “Believe me, I was shocked. She’s a successful lawyer now, very high-profile,” he said. “Not the kind of person you would look at and automatically say ‘Yeah, she’s into necrophilia’ or whatever kind of fetish that would constitute.” Chase forced himself to look at Annie. She scooted closer and held out a hand, which he took with an embarrassed shrug.

  “I can see how that would put you off dating for a while,” Annie conceded. “But Chase, I also know how men are. You know I’m not a virgin. I’ve been with more than one man. You all are sexual creatures. I’m at a loss as to how in the world you’ve managed to contain that side of yourself all these years.”

  Chase looked away, but not before Annie saw the flush that covered his cheeks. “I just… I locked it inside, I guess,” he answered. “It hasn’t been easy. There’ve been a couple of times I’ve come close. I’d date someone, she was nice enough, I’d be attracted to her, and when the opportunity presented itself, I just couldn’t do it. I’d freeze up every time. I liked the women well enough, but I didn’t love them. After a while, by the time I’d reached about twenty-six, the pressure of having to perform like I’d been having sex for ten years or so, it wasn’t worth it. They were women I knew I wasn’t going to be with six months down the road, so I just abstained. Over the years, let’s just say that my right hand and I have developed a love-hate relationship.”

  Annie looked down at his right hand, which she held with hers. Chase closed his eyes with a silent groan, mortified at what he had just said. When Annie released his hand, he wasn’t surprised. When she moved closer, though, his heart started pounding so hard he was sure she could hear it. She murmured in a low voice as she scooped up Murphy and set him gently on the floor. Chase was afraid to look at her, afraid of what he might see on her face.

  “Chase, why did you tell me all this?” she asked. “Is it because you’ve decided friendship is all you want, or is it because you want something more?” Her voice was quiet, and he realized how tense her body had gotten. He decided to lay most of his cards on the table.

  “I want it all,” he said. “I just needed to be honest with you, to tell you the truth about what I am. It wouldn’t be fair to let you just walk in blind. Full disclosure.” To his surprise, she raised up on her knees and moved closer, throwing one leg over him to straddle his lap. His hands came up to rest on her waist, steadying her.

  She cupped his face with her hands, sliding her fingers into his hair. She grasped the silky strands and tugged, drawing his head back to meet her gaze.

  “So what you’re basically telling me is that you’re serious about me, about us?” she asked. He nodded and swallowed, unable to speak. When he tried, she shushed him and placed a finger across his lips. When he quieted, she slowly drew the finger away and bent down to replace it with her lips in a brief, brushing kiss. She drew back a couple of inches.

  “You’re also telling me that you have next to no experience as far as it relates to sex. Is that right?” She drew back further and started slowly unbuttoning her blouse.

  He gulped, unable to move his gaze from her hands. “Um, yeah,” he stammered. “I mean, I’ve read a book or twelve on the subject.” She laughed softly and stopped what she was doing to give him a smacking kiss on the forehead before her hands returned to her shirt. When he saw the acceptance in her gaze, he returned her smile with a boyish grin. The grin disappeared, though, when her shirt hit the floor behind her.

  He shifted on the couch; his jeans had become uncomfortably tight. When she reached behind her back to undo the clasp on her bra, his mouth dried up, and his grip on her waist tightened.

  “Annie, dear God in heaven, you’re killing me here,” he ground out.

  She held the loosened bra to her breasts, letting the straps slip down her shoulders. “Just a couple more questions, Chase. Is it accurate for me to assume that since I’m the one with the experience, you’ll look to me for guidance if we ever get to that point? For tutoring, if you will?”

  “I suppose that’s a pretty fair assessment,” he managed. She leaned down and nuzzled his face with her own. She rested her chest against his and brought her arms up to wrap around his neck.

  “So, Counselor, to summarize, I have a man to whom I am deeply attached and attracted, who is deeply attached and attracted to me. This man wants to learn from me how to make love. This man wants me despite knowing I can’t have children, and despite all the other personal baggage I carry. And I get to shape this same man into the perfect lover. Does that cover all the bases pretty well?” she asked, her mouth against his ear.

  He nodded vigorously. “Well, you forgot the sweet but psychotic cat,” he said as Murphy ran across the room like all the demons of hell were pursuing him. He felt, as well as heard, Annie’s laughter.

  “Okay, an addendum. He’s willing to share his cat.” She sat back, and the bra slipped down on her chest, uncovering her breasts. With an easy movement, she pulled it off the rest of the way, and Chase could no sooner have stopped his eyes from falling to her breasts than he could have stopped the sun from rising.

  “God, you’re beautiful,” he whispered, his tone reverent. Annie placed her hands over his where they rested on her waist and slid them up to cover her breasts. His groan was tortured, and he closed his eyes at the shaft of pleasure that pierced him. She kept her hands over his, waiting until he opened his eyes again and looked at her.

  “I’ve never felt so much for anyone, Chase. Ever. Not Rafe, not anyone since. I feel so much for you, it scares me, but I need to say something to you. I need you to hear it. I love you.” Chase’s eyes flew to hers. She nodded. “It scares the crap out of me, but there it is. I love you.”

  “Annie… you just leave me speechless.” He pulled her close and buried his face in her neck. “Do you have any idea what you mean to me?”

  “Some idea.” She turned her face, and their lips met. For long, heated moments, they kissed. Annie reluctantly pulled back.

  “Chase, would you like to go upstairs with me?” she asked. “Absolutely no pressure, just you and me, enjoying each other. What happens, happens.”

  For a moment, he didn’t think he could answer. He finally found his voice, and said, “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life. I mean this, Annie, you’re everything to me.”

  She stood and held her hands out to him. Without hesitation, he grasped her hands and rose. Unable to resist, he pulled her in for another kiss. Before long they were both breathing hard, and Chase’s shirt met the same fate as Annie’s. The sensations and th
e heat were too much for him, and the need almost brought him to his knees. He managed to pull back and let her lead him to the stairs. He stopped her on the first step and cupped a hand around her neck to draw her close.

  He rested his forehead against hers and spoke. “No matter how well or how badly tonight turns out, I want you to know something,” he said, his voice rough. “Whatever happens tonight, I’m glad I waited. I’m glad this is going to happen with you. I mean that.” He pressed a hard, fast kiss to her lips and, as they started up the stairs, he realized it was true. All the years, all the pain and loneliness, it all melted away as he climbed the stairs next to Annie.

  Chapter 24

  Not too many miles away from Chase and Annie, the killer sat in a bar, nursing his second beer of the evening. He was trying to decide whether he wanted to bother driving to Cincinnati that night. It had been a long week while he waited for the payoff from his carefully laid plans. The thought of picking up a prostitute to blow off some steam held a lot of appeal. It was a ninety minute trip one-way, but he supposed he could call in sick the next day.

  Just as he decided to make the drive, one of his old high-school classmates, Joe, came in, followed closely by a woman the killer assumed was his date. Joe was a dispatcher with the state police. When he saw him sitting at the bar, Joe lifted his hand in a wave and made a beeline for him. The killer settled back down on his barstool with a sigh and plastered a fake grin on his face.

  “Hey, man,” Joe said. “Haven’t seen you in a while. How’ve you been?”