Jax Mitchell

by Jennifer Foor

  “I don’t love Jax. You know that. I’m just pissed off because I feel like he’s only with her to get under my skin.”

  “I hate to break it to you, but I’m sure my brother’s interest in Amber has nothing to with you.”

  I reached for Amber’s hand, just to give her a nudge that Jake was spot on. My attraction to her in the beginning was fueled from how desirable she was, not from revenge.

  “How do you know that?”

  “Because she’s his type. Amber is everything Jax has ever wanted. Trust me.”

  “So he wants a Barbie stripper?” Reese asked.

  I couldn’t stop my girlfriend from busting through the door and heading right for an unsuspecting Reese.

  “What did you just call me?”

  Reese backed up but only to gain her footing. I couldn’t reach Amber fast enough before she was able to shove Reese backwards.

  Reese stood her ground, ignoring the fact that I’d come into the room. “You take off your clothes for money. What else do you do, Amber?”

  “You bitch! I helped you that night when they threw you out like the trash. You don’t know me at all. Don’t you dare pass judgment.”

  I fastened my arms around Amber’s, restraining her from going after Reese, while Jake did the same thing with his woman. “Ladies, lets not do this today.”

  “You heard what she called me.”

  I spoke in Amber’s ear, loud enough that Reese could hear. “She’s just jealous of you, baby, because you’re flawless.”

  “Oh, give me a break, Jax. You’re being an asshole. It wasn’t that long ago when he was calling me baby. Don’t be gullible. Jax doesn’t care about anyone more than himself.” Reese said viciously.

  “Fuck you!” I replied. “Take it back, Reese.”

  “Jax, calm down.” Jake suggested.

  “No, I won’t calm down.” I let go of Amber and stood in front of her. “I won’t have this bitch bad mouth my girlfriend, and yes, Reese, Amber is my real girlfriend. While you were off fucking my brother she helped me through it. Think whatever the hell you want, but I didn’t bring her here for you. I brought her here because I hate being without her. You say I’m selfish. Go take a look in the mirror for once.”

  Jake was still holding Reese back. A wicked smiled formed on her face, and I prepared for her lashing. She looked over at Amber. “That night when you helped me, did he tell you what he did to me? Did he tell you he threw me across the room?”

  “I shoved you off of my brother’s dick, because I was in shock.”

  “He did it twice, Amber. He’s unhinged, and there’s no telling what he’ll do. I was someone he loved and he hurt me. If I were you I’d run far away from Jax, before he has a bad day and takes it out on you.”

  I didn’t look back at Amber, because I was too busy narrowing in on how I was going to hurt Reese. “Maybe you are jealous.”

  “Of you? Be serious. I’m with the right brother. You were a mistake, Jax.”

  “Oh really? Then why are you so hell-bent on hurting Amber? Admit it, Reese. You know me enough to see the truth written all over my face, don’t you? It’s not Amber you’re mad at. It’s me, because you see what was never there with us. Say it, bitch.”

  “Stop calling her a bitch, Jax,” Jake shouted.

  I threw up my hands. “Fine. Let your girlfriend go. I won’t touch her, unless she goes after my mine.”

  Reese shook out of Jake’s arms, never taking her eyes off of me. I’d honestly never seen her so angry before. It was fascinating. As I stood there looking at her I realized something I’d never noticed before. She was a beautiful woman, strong and determined, but what I thought was love couldn’t have been. Sure, I’d had strong feelings for her, but now I knew I’d been wrong to label them what I had. Nothing could compare to the feelings I had for the beautiful person standing behind me, and I wanted Reese to know it. “Her favorite color is blue. She uses only salon products in her hair, and her deodorant is clean scented. Her favorite movies to watch are comedies, and when they have a happy ending she always cries. When she sleeps, sometimes she makes these cute little sounds that wake me up. I could sit there and listen to them for hours.” As I continued on I took Amber’s hand and turned to face her. “She’s not just stunning on the outside. She’s beautiful through and through. The pain that she’s endured has only helped her to become stronger, and from the moment she walked into my life our connection was undeniable.”

  “Next you’ll say you love her, and we all know how this story goes.”

  “I do.” I glanced over at Reese. “Love her, that is.” I squeezed Amber’s hand, hoping she’d forgive me for telling her like this. “I thought I knew what it felt like with you, but I was wrong. I get why my brother couldn’t resist you, because I finally understand the infatuation of it all.”

  “Let’s just go, Jake. He’s full of shit. Being here was a mistake. Jax is going to say whatever he thinks will get to me. I’m not in the mood for his viciousness.”

  They started to walk out the door, but my brother couldn’t let it go. He stopped and turned around, almost making a sound like he was snickering. He pulled his hands away from Reese, and directed his attention to me. “We’re good now, aren’t we, Jax?”

  I didn’t know how it happened, but like a light bulb being turned on, I finally saw what I’d been unable to see before. Reese was never mine. When I looked at her now I didn’t see the person who’d ripped out my heart. I saw the reason I went to Kentucky and found Amber. Then it all made sense. This was meant to happen, because imagining never being with her was inconceivable. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

  Jake smiled and looked down while he spoke. “Good, because we need to talk about something. I’m just going to get Reese to settle down and I’ll be back. Will you be in here?”

  I nodded and watched my brother leading his girlfriend out of the barn, before turning to face Amber. It was apparent that she was freaking out, though I knew it wouldn’t take much to calm her down. Soothing her had become easy for me. “You said you loved me, Jax.”

  “Yeah, so?”

  Her eyes were full of tears, but they weren’t falling down her cheeks. “I told you not to love me, because I knew this was only temporary.”

  “And I told you it was already too late.”

  “That was the first week we were together.”

  I stepped closer, now holding both of her hands. “I’d be lying if I said those feelings weren’t already stewing.”

  “It’s just going to hurt worse now.” She looked away.

  “I’ll come and see you when I can. Football is just time consuming. I don’t want you sitting by the phone waiting and wondering. It’s not fair.”

  “I know. I get it.”

  “You could fly out to my games. We play in Ohio. I don’t know the schedule, but we could spend the weekend together at least.”

  She kept looking away. “We never should have done this, Jax. It’s tearing me apart.”

  I pulled her into a hug and held her tight against my body. “Don’t say that. I don’t want to take back a single second I spent with you. I know I’m hard to deal with, and I can be stubborn, but I’d never do what Reese said. I’d never hurt you.”

  “She’s just bitter about everything. I get it. I’d be upset too. Do you know how many girls despise me? I hate it. They assume I’m shallow or stuck up. I’m neither of those things. I helped her that night at the hotel because it’s the kind of person I am. Her words were like a sharp knife.”

  “Just ignore her. She’s probably on her period or something. Hell, she could be pregnant. I’m sure my idiot brother would be thrilled about it.” I kissed the top of her head, showing her an extra bit of affection because I knew she needed it.

  “I’ve always been a tough guy, but you break me down, Amber. Caring about you feels so right. When I come back here for good, I’m still going to call you, and want to hear your voice. I’m still going to need my best frien
d.”

  She pulled away and smiled at me, with soaked cheeks from getting emotional. “Are you saying you want to have a long-distance relationship with me?”

  I shrugged. “I know I don’t want to let you go.”

  “There’s a but isn’t there?”

  I hated that she already knew me so well. “I don’t like to be alone, and I wouldn’t want you to feel obligated to do the same for me. It’s not fair to either of us. I want to make a pact, that if someone else comes along, we won’t hate each other.”

  Amber turned away from me. “I’m sorry, Jax. I can’t do that.”

  Chapter 37

  Amber

  “Please don’t do this.” Jax pleaded.

  Did he really think I could cling to some kind of hope of us being together when he was basically saying he was going to be with other people? “Don’t you get it? Don’t you see what you’ve done to me?” I looked around the barn, realizing I was raising my voice for anyone to hear. “Just forget it. I can’t do this here. We’ll talk about it when we get home.”

  “Amber,” he reached for me as I started to back away. “Are you mad at me now?”

  “No, Jax. I never expected this to work out. I should have known better.”

  He placed his arms on my shoulders from behind. “Don’t do this to me, not now, after what I said to you.”

  My heart hurt thinking about those three words that meant the world to me. It had been so long since someone said them with meaning. I could tell Jax was being honest. I could feel the power of it through every inch of my body. “Our feelings are irrelevant. Don’t you get that? It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does to me,” he whispered. “Please turn around and look at me.”

  Looking Jax in the eyes wasn’t the hard part. It was knowing how desperately in love with him I was, and how I couldn’t bring myself to tell him. What good would it do? “I don’t want to argue about this. It’s obvious your family thinks we’re a joke.”

  “That’s why we’re going to prove them wrong. You see, I knew they’d act this way, but I also knew that once they saw us together there would be no denying it.” He lifted the back of his hand and ran it over my cheek. “It was never a choice for me, Amber. I think I’ve loved you since the first night we spent together, before the kisses, and everything else. You take my breath away.”

  I let my head rest on his chin. “I’m scared to fight for this, because I’m so afraid you’ll hurt me.”

  “Come with me.” He took my hand and began to lead me out of the barn. When we walked past all three houses I wondered where we were going. After stepping onto a little path in the woods, Jax explained. “I’m taking you to a place that nobody’s ever gone before. Only Jake and I know it exists.”

  Since I was wearing flip flops I looked around the leaves and brush and wondered if it was safe. “How far is it?”

  “You’ll be fine. Do you trust me?”

  I didn’t have to think about my answer. “Yes.”

  He pulled me along, pointing out things as we continued. We came to a large pond with a square platform in the middle. “That’s the hole. We can go for a swim when we come back.”

  “Are their snakes?”

  “There’s more fish. Well, there was. A couple years ago Jake and I threw a homemade bomb in the water. We were eating fish for weeks”

  “Gross, your whole family?”

  “No. Just me and my brother. It was our punishment. We had to eat fish for all three meals. I still don’t like it.”

  I had to laugh. It was pretty funny. “You know they say your children are three times worse than you?”

  Jax turned around and smiled. “God, I hope not.”

  I never wanted to be pregnant before, but ever since losing my baby I’d always been open to feeling that bond again. It was the one thing that Jax had avoided talking about. “What would you do if I called you from another state and told you I was pregnant?”

  He stopped dead in his tracks. “What the hell, Amber? Don’t even say that shit.”

  “Why? We’re not safe at all. We’ve been screwing like rabbits for weeks.”

  “You’re on the pill.”

  “It could still happen.”

  He looked down and sighed. “Listen, you need to understand that up until that shit happened with my brother my future was set. We were going to play football, for as long as we could. I want to be drafted, Amber. That means I’m not going to be able to settle somewhere and raise a kid. Even if I get drafted, it’s a slim chance I’d start. That’s something that needs to be earned. I won’t be able to devote my time to anything else.”

  “So what, you’d expect me to get an abortion?”

  He turned and started walking away from me, tossing his hands in to the air. “I’m not doing this with you.”

  Since I couldn’t have him anymore pissed at me, I decided to drop it until we were home. It was obvious that we had a lot to figure out, even though all signs were pointing to a break up.

  We walked for what felt like forever. Jax turned around seeming excited. “See that over there?”

  In the distance I spotted something that looked like a shed, but it was very decapitated. “What is it?”

  “It’s our fort.”

  “I’m guessing you built it yourselves?”

  “Yeah. Come on. I want you to see the inside.”

  I kept fighting him from leading me in. “It looks like it’s going to fall apart.”

  “It won’t. I promise.”

  Jax unhooked a rope-tied latch and pushed open the door. Moss covered the floor, but there were two large logs sitting on either side of a homemade table. He pointed to one. “Sit down and wait here. I’ll be right back.”

  I looked around the little area, noticing that the walls, made from old pieces of metal, were covered in greenery and vines. They’d framed the place out on the inside, but nothing had been measured. It was very lopsided.

  I was a little leery about sitting in a filthy shack while he disappeared into the woods. It was like a bad horror movie playing out. I could already read the headline in the news. “Stripper left for dead.”

  I started calling out for him when he didn’t return after a few minutes. Then, in the small doorway he appeared, holding something behind his back. He kneeled down in front of me and took my left hand. A ring, made from a twisted dandelion, was being slipped on my ring finger. “It’s not much, and I didn’t spend a dime on it, but my mom always told me the best things in life are free. So I made this for you. It will probably fall apart before we get back to the house, and it took me forever to find the damn thing. Anyway, I promise I’ll find a way to be with you again. I don’t know how long it will take, but I won’t give up on us, Amber. I can tell it’s bothering you, and since I’m no good at this romance shit, I haven’t got the first clue on how I can make it happen. For the record, if you came to me pregnant I’d be there. I’d find a way to make it work.”

  It was so darn sweet I couldn’t be upset with him anymore. I wanted to believe him, because more than anything else I longed for the same resolution. “I love you too, Jax.”

  He snickered. “I knew it. It’s because I’m great in bed, right?”

  I shook my head. “No.”

  “Is it my large penis?”

  “No, it’s not the Jaxinator.”

  “I don’t have any other good qualities.”

  I placed my hand over his heart. “You have this one.”

  “Oh yeah, that. I’d appreciate it if you kept that to yourself. I don’t want anyone knowing I have a nice side. It would damage my asshole reputation.”

  When I lunged forward to kiss him nothing else mattered. I wasn’t thinking about losing him, or dealing with his family and their assumptions. All that mattered was this embrace.

  As we parted Jax nuzzled his nose against mine. “Why couldn’t I have met you in a few years down the road? Life would have been so much easier.”

  The moment
was intense, and I knew it was something I wouldn’t forget anytime soon, maybe not ever.

  “Are you going to come see me play when you can?”

  “If you want me to.”

  He played with my hands, holding both of them with his. “I want to show you off. The guys will be so jealous.”

  “Can we start today over?” This moment between us was making me appreciate the time we had left. I would have to convince Jax that we could work from a distance. He had to know I wasn’t interested in finding someone else, not when I knew my heart had only opened up for him. “How about that swim?”

  Jax smiled, and I knew that look from seeing it many times before. “I’m up for it, but there’s a rule to swimming in the hole. You’ve got to get naked.”

  “Yeah right. It’s a dirty pond. You expect me to take off my clothes?” Was he for real?

  “I’ll be naked too. What’s wrong? Haven’t you ever gone swimming in the nude?”

  “In a pool maybe.”

  “It’s a big brown pool,” he said as he walked out of the little fortress.

  “Thanks for showing me your hideout.”

  “Anything for my girl. I wanted you to have something special, since you feel like you’re stepping in places that Reese has been. For the record I don’t even care about that shit.”

  “What about Jake? He said he needs to talk to you. What do you think it’s about? Does he want to fight?”

  Jax shook his head. “No. Something’s on his mind. I can tell. Whatever it is, I’ll find out soon enough. Jake doesn’t hold things in like me. He’s all about expressing his feelings.”

  “You should forgive him, Jax.”

  “Why?”

  “Do you really have to ask me that?” I wondered if he wasn’t listening to me at all. Were men really this naïve? “If you’re really in love with me, then you won’t care that he took Reese away. You said it yourself. We’d never be together if it wasn’t for them. He asked you if you were good, and you told him you were. Just let it go. You’re going to need him, Jax.”