Impossible Things

by Alexandra McBrayer

  Rodrigo smiled, “That’s not love my sweet. Love can’t be controlled. It’s a burning feeling that won’t let you sleep or eat, that drives you mad with lust. Love isn’t safe, because it’s not meant to be. I didn’t think you were like that.”

  Curious, she asked, “Like what?”

  He shrugged and fanned his hands out, and it was such an Italian gesture that she found herself smiling, but then he said, “Afraid of life, like a mouse wanting to find a safe hole to crawl into.”

  His words stung and she sat back as if she had been slapped. He saw the hurt on her face and he sat forward. “Passion runs in your veins. I don’t want you to go off with the wrong man-“ he stopped and turned to shoot a look at her grandmother before continuing, “But I also don’t want you with a man that makes you feel safe. The day I make your grandmother feel safe is the day I want you to shoot your old grandpa.”

  Lucy laughed at the idea of him ever being her old anything. His dark brown eyes were serious as he said, “I want you to find a love that burns. I want you to find a man that you ache for and that aches for you. I want you to be happy. Jewels are good but jewels given to you by someone who loves you are better.”

  Before she could reply the doorbell rang and Rodrigo got up to answer it.

  She sat, lost in thought, and her grandmother remained silent. The voices in the hall came closer and thinking that she recognized one she raised her head.

  Her mom was standing in the doorway.

  “Mom!” she said at the same time that Isabella rose from the settee.

  She looked at her mom in shock and then at her grandmother. The two women were staring at each other and Isabella was the first to move. She was across the room and grabbing Rosaline before Lucy could move.

  Isabella pulled her daughter tightly to her chest and began crying out, “Rosaline, Rosaline, my baby, oh my baby-“

  It was enough to make Lucy cry and she saw that Rodrigo, who was still standing in the door, had tears in his eyes as well. When the two women finally pulled back Lucy saw that tears were making their way down her mother’s cheeks and she realized that not once in her twenty-seven years had she seen her mother cry before. It made her chest ache with the realization that she didn’t know her own mother very well at all.

  Rosaline looked up and moved towards Lucy, holding her arms out, and Lucy flew into them. Though they had never been that close she still loved her mom and had missed her.

  Over her mom’s shoulder she saw that her grandmother was still crying and Rodrigo was holding her, rubbing her back, and kissing her head as she cried against his chest.

  When they had all calmed down they sat and Rodrigo went to get them drinks. The three women sat in silence, staring at one another. When Rodrigo came back in the room he said, “Molly will be in with drinks shortly.”

  Seeing their stillness he came over and sat next to Isabella on the couch and grabbed her hand. She smiled up at him and Lucy watched her mother, wanting to know what Rosaline’s reaction to her very young step-father would be.

  Rodrigo turned to find Rosaline watching them and he reached a hand across the table. “I’m sorry we have not been introduced, I’m Rodrigo. You’re mother’s husband.”

  Lucy saw her mother swallow before she reached out and took his hand. “Hello.”

  Wanting to break up the sudden tension in the room Lucy said, “Mom what on earth are you doing here?”

  Her mom turned to her, “Lucy your wedding is in seven days, I thought I would come and help you get ready.”

  Lucy’s eyes got wide and she turned to look at her grandmother. Isabella nodded he head gently, telling her to get on with it. Lucy took a deep breath and said, “Mom there’s not going to be a wedding. Sam and I have broken up.”

  Her mom appeared stunned by the news as she said, “But I don’t understand. What happened?”

  Lucy closed her eyes and shook her head. She didn’t want to get into the details, especially not with her mother.

  Finally she said, “Let’s just say that I realized that Sam is not the man for me.”

  “But-,” her mom started to say but Isabella interrupted, “Rosaline dear this has been very hard for her. I think we need to give her some time to sort it out.”

  Her mom looked from Lucy to Isabella and finally, after what seemed like hours, nodded her head. “Fine. But just promise me that you’ll think about this some more before you decide.”

  Lucy nodded. There was nothing to think about but she wasn’t going to tell her mom that.

  Rodrigo left them to talk and they spent a few hours chatting but it wasn’t easy. There were so many topics that they had to avoid, Lucy’s dad, Sam, Rodrigo…that they had very little to actually talk about. Finally Isabella looked up at the mantle clock and said, “I’m sorry girls but I have to start getting ready. Rodrigo and I have an event tonight for his company.”

  She excused herself, leaving Lucy and Rosaline alone. Not wanting to endure the silence Lucy asked, “So was your flight over okay?”

  Her mom didn’t respond and Lucy looked over to see that Rosaline was laughing. “What are you laughing at?” she asked.

  It took Rosaline a few minutes to stop laughing enough to be able to talk but when she could she said, “This! All of it! My coming all the way over here to help you, but you called off the wedding. My new daddy is at least half my age and there are so many things that we can’t talk about that we just spent two hours talking about the weather, the upcoming January sales and conflict in the Middle East.”

  Lucy realized that it was funny and she started laughing as well. It was infectious and her mom started laughing again and that was how Rodrigo found them ten minutes later, holding their sides and laughing.

  If he found it unusual he didn’t say so. He walked in and said, “Well I’m happy to find this pretty scene, now I hope you can both do me a favor.”

  Lucy looked at him with a broad smile on her face and asked, “What? Anything for you.”

  He smiled and said, “And that is why you’re my favorite granddaughter.”

  He and Lucy laughed and she saw her mom watching them as Rodrigo said, “Come with us tonight. It would make Isabella so happy to have you both there.”

  Rosaline was shaking her head before he had even finished, “Oh no! I can’t. I’m sure I didn’t bring clothes-“

  Rodrigo held up his hand, interrupting her refusal, “I thought you’d say that so I called for something for you both to wear. Your dresses are in your rooms. Please say you’ll go?”

  Lucy didn’t give her mom a chance to refuse. “Of course we’ll go.”

  Rodrigo smiled and clapped his hands. “Fantastico! Thank you.”

  He turned and walked out and Lucy got up and went over to her mom and held out her hand. “Come on mom we’re going to a party.”

  “But-,” Rosaline started to say, but Lucy shook her head, they deserved some fun and damn it they were going to have it.

  Chapter Nineteen

  They went upstairs and saw that Rosaline had been installed in the room next to Lucy. Black dress bags, with the name of one of England’s most famous fashion designers, were lying across the ends of their beds and next to them were a box of shoes and a set of silk under garments.

  Lucy didn’t even open her bag. She knew that Rodrigo had picked it out so it would be beautiful. She was more interested in her mom’s dress so she went through the connecting door and when she walked in Rosaline was standing in front of her mirror with her dress held up against her.

  “Oh mom!” she breathed and went to stand next to Rosaline.

  The dress was a rich sapphire blue, with a rounded collar and layers of draping. It was dramatic and yet simple at the same time and Lucy knew that her mom would look amazing in it.

  “I can’t wear this,” Rosaline said and Lucy looked at her in shock.

  “Not only can you wear it but you’re going to. Rodrigo went to the trouble to pick these out for us and he has the m
ost amazing taste. You’re going to look beautiful in that dress and I will never, ever talk to you again if you don’t put it on.”

  Their eyes met in the mirror and Rosaline’s were searching as she asked, “You really like him don’t you?”

  Not breaking their gaze Lucy shook her head and said, “No. I really love him. Rodrigo is an amazing man and he loves Isabella and she loves him. He has been nothing but nice to me and a friend when I needed one. I couldn’t imagine a more perfect man for her and I hope that you’ll give him a chance.”

  Rosaline nodded. “I will. I promise. It’s just hard, and you forget that he’s not my first step-father. He’s my third and though I knew the other two would never work out I didn’t hate them.”

  Lucy put her hands on her mom’s shoulders and said, “He’s not like Hervé and Pascal. He’s not after her for her money.”

  Rosaline didn’t look like she believed her, so Lucy told her that Rodrigo was CEO of is families fashion business and when she mentioned the name Rosaline’s eyes got wide. “Oh my!”

  Lucy nodded. “I’m not positive but I think he’s worth way, way, more money than she is. It’s not about money this time mom. It’s about love. She did good and we need to support her.”

  Rosaline nodded and Lucy turned to go but before she could Rosaline asked, “And Sam?”

  Lucy didn’t turn back. She just shook her head and said, “That’s over and I don’t want to talk about it.”

  Lucy went back to her room, took a shower and did her make-up. She put on her dress, hose and shoes and went through to check on her mom. Rosaline was standing in front of the mirror fully dressed and Lucy said, “You look beautiful mom.”

  And she did. More beautiful than Lucy had ever seen her look, but she wasn’t going to tell her that and hurt her feelings. Her mom looked at last ten years younger and for a second Lucy wondered about what her mom’s life would have been like had she stayed in London. There would have been plenty of dresses like this one and parties and jewels.

  At that thought Lucy stopped and said, “Wait a minute I have something that will go with that,” and turned and went back to her room.

  She found the bracelet and took it back to her mom and put it on her wrist. “There that’s better.”

  Rosaline looked down at the sapphire and diamond bracelet and said, “It’s beautiful where did you get it?”

  Lucy met her eyes as she said, “I bought it.”

  Rosaline didn’t say anything. It was one more topic that wasn’t spoken about between them.

  Her mom stepped back and looked down at Lucy’s dress. “Oh my! That’s a little low cut don’t you think?”

  Her dress, which Rodrigo had picked out for her, was low cut. The skirt of the dress was emerald green silk and the top was black silk with long sleeves and a plunging neckline that went all the way down to her waist. Had the dress not been so well crafted it would have shown more than it did, as it was it showed only a flash of skin that looked like more because it remained pulled tight against her body.

  It was the most daring dress that she had ever worn but after giving her mom a lecture she decided to take her own advice and let go and live a little. She was still young and she might as well enjoy it while she could.

  Rosaline tilted her head to the side and said, “But you know it’s elegant. Despite the skin showing it’s not slutty at all, it’s elegant and simple.”

  Hearing her mom use the word slutty made Lucy smile.

  Lucy had paired the dress with a simple pear-cut emerald pendant on a gold chain. She loved the idea that for once she was getting to use her jewelry instead of them sitting wrapped up in a suitcase. The entire outfit was simplicity itself and yet she felt like a million bucks.

  They went downstairs and Isabella and Rodrigo were waiting for them. When he saw them Rodrigo whistled and said, “I am going to be the envy of every man there with my three beautiful Lennox women.”

  All three women laughed and Rodrigo helped them on with their cover-ups, which for Rosaline and Lucy were new fur stoles. Lucy had never worn fur before and she hesitated, she wasn’t sure if she believed it was okay to wear fur or not but Rodrigo must have read her mind because he said, “Don’t worry it’s not real. I wasn’t sure of your feelings so I purchased faux.”

  She stared down at it and rubbed her hand across the soft silver fur. It looked and felt real enough to her.

  They took the limo and when they got the party Lucy saw that it was being held at the Italian embassy. There was a crowd of people in front of the building and the women were dressed so beautifully that Lucy was glad that Rodrigo had picked out her dress.

  They went in and mingled as Rodrigo introduced the three of them to the ambassador and various other business acquaintances. The embassy was packed and hot and Lucy wished that there was a fan that she could stand under. If she didn’t get air soon she was going to have sweat pouring down her chest.

  She was just about to suggest to her mom that they try to find a way outside when an older, distinguished man came up and asked Rosaline to dance. She could see that her mom was about to decline so Lucy grabbed Rosaline’s glass of champagne out of her hand and gently pushed her mom towards the man as she said, “She’d love to.”

  Rosaline gave her a dirty look but Lucy only smiled back at her. She stood sipping her champagne and watched as the man whirled her mom around the dance floor. At one point Rosaline laughed, throwing her head back and for a second Lucy didn’t recognize her own mother.

  “She looks happy doesn’t she?”

  She turned to see that Rodrigo had come up next to her and she smiled at him and nodded. “She does. She looks like she was born to this life.”

  He shrugged and said, “She was. She just chose not to stay. But Isabella has told me stories about your mother when she was young and Rosaline sounds like she was a free spirited girl, just like you.”

  Lucy frowned, “Not quite. She didn’t have my problems.”

  Rodrigo raised one black eyebrow and asked, “Are you sure? Do you know everything there is to know about your mother?”

  Not understanding she turned back to look at her mom. From this distance her mom looked much younger than her fifty-three years. With her black hair loose in curls around her face, and her flushed cheeks she looked like she could be Lucy’s sister and not her mother.

  Rodrigo leaned in closer and said, “She was twenty-six when she had you. A grown woman and not a young girl, do you know what her life was like before she married your father?”

  Lucy shook her head and said, “No.”

  She was still looking at her mom but she felt it when he nodded his head. “Exactly. That seems to be a running theme with my Lennox women. None of you talk to each other. You shut down and shut each other out.”

  She turned and her blue eyes met his brown as she asked, “That’s not how it’s done in your family?”

  He threw his head back and laughed and half the women in the room turned to look at him. He leaned his head in close and said, “We’re Italian. We fight, we scream, we threaten each other, and then we make up. Nothing is secret in my family.”

  A few minutes later he walked away and left Lucy standing in the corner, watching her mom dance, thinking about what he had said. Rodrigo was right; they did shut each other out.

  When her mom came back she was out of breath and her skin was glowing. Lucy handed her a fresh glass of champagne and Rosaline drank it in one gulp and then laughed at the look on her daughter’s face.

  “Mom, can I ask you a question?”

  Rosaline turned to her, “Of course you can. You can ask me anything.”

  Lucy saw that her mom’s foot was tapping in time to the song that the band was playing and she smiled. She didn’t remember the last time she saw her mom smiling and having fun, maybe never.

  Lucy took a deep breath and asked, “Did you ever have an addiction? You know like mine? Maybe not jewels but something like that?”

 
Rosaline turned to her, the smile on her face fading and Lucy’s stomach dropped. Her mom was going to shut her out, she just knew it.

  But Rosaline didn’t. She rolled her eyes and whispered, “Clothes.”

  “What?” Lucy pulled back to get a better look at her mom’s face. “Clothes?”

  Rosaline nodded. “I had a thing for clothes. I was obsessed with them. I had so many clothes that your grandfather turned the bedroom next to mine into a walk-in closet for me. I couldn’t get enough of them.”

  Lucy looked at Rosaline with sadness in her eyes. The last time she had seen her mom’s closet it contained, at most, thirty garments, all of them bought from discount stores. It was not at all the closet of a woman who had once loved clothes.

  Deciding that there was no time like the present, she asked, “What about men? You were twenty-five when you and dad got met. Did you date before him?”

  Rosaline looked away and a look of deep sadness crossed her face. But her voice was cheerful as she said, “Of course I did. But then you’re dad came along.”

  Lucy knew it wasn’t the truth, there was more to it hen that, more to her mom, but she didn’t press. She had already learned more about her mom in one day than she had in the previous twenty–seven years.