Dead End (Book 4): A Very Dark Place
Page 24
There were some happy things though.
"Cameron went on to become the leader of her people, what we call Travelers now, and still holds the position. Samuel went on to be a religious leader, one of the Children of Hope. The first one actually. Tipper... Well, she leads the outer worlds expeditionary forces now. That's about everyone, isn't it?" She was trying to wrap things up, having already been talking for hours. There was a lot more, but these kids didn't need that part of the tale. Just the part about how she once helped turn the best person in the world into a killer for a year, out of her own ignorance and foolishness.
They wouldn't get it, of course, not until they were older, and then only if they bothered to think about it, but the lesson was there. She wasn't alone in that guilt, but very few that shared it with her were still alive. Only Burt and she wasn't totally positive of that. It wouldn't surprise her to find out that he outlived her someday though. He'd taken his mandate to fix what he'd destroyed literally and had been seen on every continent trying to do just that over the last century and change. Nothing would ever be enough though.
She could feel that one herself.
The worst part was that Jake, Mickey, had never blamed her for what she'd done to him. How she'd allowed The Very Good Man to become a killer, a dark thing that no one should have had to be. How she'd used him, thinking he was just a convenience, the right person there at the time she needed a figurehead. It was worse than that. She hadn't just gotten him to betray what he was, she'd forced him too.
The one time she'd mentioned it he'd just laughed and served her some lemonade. When she pushed the point, in tears, he'd held her close and sung to her, a song that she'd never heard before and that had never been performed by anyone that she knew of after that one time. It was just a voice in the dark and soft breath on her ear.
She could almost hear the words still though, in her heart.
The words had been sweet and sounded lightly happy, but they spoke of things she wasn't quite ready to admit to herself, even now. That everyone was a Very Good Man and that he was just the one that got the job at the time. That, in short, she'd made him what he was. But that the pain of one person, no matter how great, was always worth it, to protect everyone else. Or to protect a single friend.
It wasn't a bad thing, but when she tried to ask about it later, he always acted like he didn't know what she was talking about. In the end it didn't really matter, but she could never be certain that he was really what everyone had thought. It might have just been his way of letting her off the hook though, for what she'd done.
If so it hadn't worked, not totally.
The class said goodbye to her and Molly gave her a hug, then reminded her to keep in touch. They wouldn't, except for once each year, but that was alright. Most of the people from that time tried their best to forget. That was why it was her job to tell the stories until the time came when she could be truly forgiven for what she'd done.
By herself.
She just hoped it would someday come.