More Than This

by Jay McLean

  “What’s wrong with what you’re wearing?” I ask with a raised eyebrow, mocking him.

  “Ha Ha” he says flatly, “It would be fine if I wanted to look like Eminem circa 2001.” We both laugh. “I’m thinking black shirt, to go with your dress, and blue tie, the same as the flower at the front.” He starts going through the racks.

  I look down at myself. I’d forgotten what I was wearing. My mind is still a little hazy. He pulls out a black dress shirt, tries it on, shrugs it off, rips the tag off, puts the tag in his pocket, shrugs the shirt back on and starts buttoning it up. I look away because it feels too intimate, watching him get dressed. Plus, I think he might be stealing, and I don’t want to be an accomplice, or whatever.

  I head over to the ties, two dollar ties galore. I find a blue one that matches the flower of my dress, it’s a little dahlia planted in the middle just under my breasts. “Um, here, this one should do.”

  He saunters over to me and smiles, “Perfect.” He grabs the tie from me and then frowns. “Shit, my mom’s gonna be so disappointed.” He laughs once. “I have no idea how to knot a tie,” he says, looking at the tie in his hand.

  “I can totally help you with that.” I grab the tie from his hands and begin to knot it the way mom’s shown me. She said one day I’d meet a man that would appreciate this random skill. Who knew she’d be so right. I start to do up the tie around his collar when I realize how close we are. My heart thumps in my chest, and my brain goes fuzzy. I can feel his breath on the top of my head. Im surrounded by his cologne, it’s only a small amount, but it’s enough to make my head swim. I close my eyes for a second to calm my nerves. I can feel his eyes on me.

  I take a small step back before opening my eyes, and force a smile. “There, now you’re more Eminem circa 2005.” I tap his chest. He laughs as we head to the front of the store.

  Everyone else is already waiting. Whatever they bought, is now secured in plastic bags so I can’t tell what it is. Jake walks through the only aisle open and then stops abruptly in front of the cashier, forcing me to bump into him from behind, and lose my balance. He turns quickly and steadies me with his hands on my elbows. Once I’m settled, he pulls two tags out of his pocket and gives them to the cashier. She’s a few years older than we are but she has no shame in eyeing Jake up and down and winking at him.

  “I uh, need to pay for these,” Jake says, adjusting his tie and looking past her.

  She doesn’t say anything, just keeps eye licking him. He seems uncomfortable.

  After the transaction, we make our way back to the group and walk towards the limo.

  “Dude,” Logan says, “that chick would’ve totally banged you in the store room.”

  “Not everyone’s a pig like you, Logan,” Heidi huffs as we settle back into the Limo.

  “I can’t stand girls like that,” Jake shakes his head, “I mean, I’m not saying we are…” He looks over at me quickly then back to face Heidi. “But I mean, what if Mikayla was my girl, and we were on a date. It’s obvious we were kind of together, I mean, we walked up together. I don’t know,” he shrugs. “It just seems disrespectful to Mikayla, you know, I mean, if she was my girl.”

  I blush and look to the floor. I can sense Heidi staring at me but say nothing.

  “Awwwwe, Jakey, always the gentleman,” Cam coos.

  “Whatever,” Dylan huffs, “let’s cause some Mayhem.”

  ***

  A bottle of food dye, hundreds of post-its, a death metal c.d, a bag of sugar, 5 garbage bags full of popcorn and one roll of serene warp later, and we’re standing, admiring our masterpiece, laughing to ourselves.

  To the outside world, we’re just a group of crazy kids, playing an innocent prank on one of our friends. Even the limo driver has a chuckle to himself.

  “How much do I owe you guys? I mean… money… this couldn’t have been cheap… and it’s… I mean, I’m the reason we’re here, right?”

  Logan looks to Jake, who clears his throat, “It’s nothing, Mikayla. We have a Mayhem fund. We all put in and do stupid shit like this. It just happens that this time it’s not happening to someone we know. These assholes love this shit, don’t even worry about it.”

  I look to Logan and he just smiles and nods enthusiastically. I feel Jake bending down to place his mouth near my ear, “All good, Mikayla?” he asks.

  I nod once and smile up at him.

  And then I make the mistake of looking next door. To the single light that’s on in the bedroom window, with the silhouette of a girl watching us. To the bedroom where my boyfriend, or ex boyfriend, has probably had sex with my ex best friend hundreds of times. I feel a sob coming but I cover my mouth, I know tears will fall the second I close my eyes. Jake notices and follows my eyes to the girl in the window. Logan must too, because he asks, “Is she going to be a problem?”

  I shake my head no, “That’s Megan.”

  “Fuck.” I hear Jake mutter under his breath. A sob takes over, and his arms are around me as he envelopes my body with his and I bury my head in his chest. He holds me.

  “Umm guys,” it’s Heidi. I don’t look up from Jake’s chest, “they’re announcing prom king and queen in twenty minutes.”

  Chapter 5

  *Mikayla*

  ***

  Megan and I were not at all what you would imagine best friends to be. We were polar opposites in almost every way. She was the head cheerleader with the smokin’ hot body, shiny long blond hair and sparkly blue eyes. She played boys, and boys were all for it. Megan knew who she was, and she used it to her advantage. People tended not to take her seriously, she played the airhead role to perfection but she was so much more than that, and I was one of the lucky few to see that side of her.

  I met her when we were in fifth grade. She had just moved here for her mom’s job. I remember sitting in front of her in class while she chatted with everyone around us. All I could hear was her talking about her stationary. Girls love stationary. I was facing the front of the class trying to concentrate on the puzzles we were meant to be doing while she was giggling along, talking to whoever would listen about how she had two of everything. Emergency things she called them, emergency ruler, emergency eraser, emergency sharpener , etc. By that point I had lost focus and turned in my seat to glare at her. She just looked at me and smiled, a full teeth baring smile. I huffed and turned back to face the front fishing through my pencil case for a ruler to mark the margins of my next page, only to find that I didn’t have one, I must have left it in the book I was reading during lunch. I raised my hand, “Miss Spencer?” The teacher looked at me from her desk, over the frames of her glasses. “I uh… I don’t have my ruler… Can I um… May I please go to my locker to get it?” Before she could answer, there was a light tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a ruler inches from my face. I looked at Megan questioningly, she just smiled back. “For emergencies,” she shrugged.

  We became best friends.

  ***

  The summer before freshman year, we were hanging out eating popsicles on Megan’s roof, that lead to her bedroom window. We were working on our tans, apparently that’s what high school girls did.

  “Do you think people will make fun of us because we don’t have boyfriends?” she asked out of nowhere.

  I hadn’t even thought about boys that way, I guess I was a late developer. I shrugged.

  “I’m going to have a boyfriend within a month,” she declared, more to herself that anyone else. Then nodded once as if agreeing to it.

  “Ok Meg, just don’t go dragging me into any of that, I’m happy with the way things are,” I said, rolling my eyes at her.

  She snickered, “As if I’d even consider it. Do you think I don’t know you at all?” she mocked hurt in her voice and held her hand to her heart.

  “I just don’t want to be one of those girls that has serious relationships through all of high school. It’s so not my thing, and when it’s over, I don’t want to do that whole… ‘where are you
going to college? Should we go to college together? Who’s hopes and dreams are more important?’ blah yatta blah.”

  She looked at me for a second then shook her hand, standing up, she started prancing around the roof dreamily, “Well, Miss ’15 going to 50’… I want to fall in love…LOTS… and I want to break hearts… LOTS, I want to have so many awkward first dates and first kisses at my front door, with lots and LOTS of boys. I want to chase and be chased. I want to hold hands down the hall with some amazingly gorgeous guy and have girls jealous because that guy only has eyes for me. I want to live high school. And I want to love in high school. And I want to have sex. Oh my god, like… so much sex!”

  I stared at her, my mouth open in shock. She looked at me and broke out in a fit of laughter. It was a joyous sound that to this day still has me cracking up whenever I hear it. We sat on that roof and giggled like the innocent girls we were for what seemed like hours, but in reality was only minutes. Our laughter broke off when we heard a beeping noise. We both looked over to where the sound was coming from, over to the house next door and the U-haul truck reversing into the driveway.

  “Oh, god,” Megan sighed, “The house has finally sold. I hope they’re not sucky neighbors. I couldn’t think of anything worse! Like old people that collect random shit to hoard, and they have to call the fire department to clear the house, only to find like,” she looks to the sky as if thinking “…a 5 billion pound woman stuck under a pile of empty snack sized chocolate pudding tubs, and then a crane has to come to lift her body out of the house like on ‘Gilbert Grape’, and they take her to a hospital so they can pump all the fat out of her body. Then 3 years later, some random kid emerges from that house, knocks on our door and asks, ‘have you seen my baseball?’”

  I look at her for a second, then burst out laughing. Uncontrollable laughter that has the sides of body aching. I laugh so hard I’m pretty sure colored snot from my popsicle is oozing out of my nose. Hot right? I hear her quietly laughing with me, and then, “Holy shit, Mick… what the hell is that?”

  I stop laughing abruptly and follow her eyes to see what the heck she’s talking about, and then I see him, and I think, “What the hell is that?”

  It’s a boy. A boy better than any other boy I’ve ever seen before. He could be our age but he’s built bigger. Like, not an “I work out, I’m a jock” big, but like, I work… lifting heavy shit, kinda big. Farm boy big? I don’t know. I’ve never really thought about boys and big before.

  “Let’s go introduce ourselves,” Megan states, already climbing through the window back into her room.

  I sit frozen staring at him, as he slowly makes his way up to the front door, taking in his surroundings, like he hasn’t seen the house before. Maybe he hasn’t. Dark blond hair hidden under a baseball cap, dark jeans and plain grey shirt. I find myself wondering what color his eyes are, when he looks up suddenly and catches me mid stare. Kill me. Kill me now. I’m sure the blush has crept up to my face and I’m even more sure that he can see it. A slow smile lifts at the corner of his mouth and he raises his right hand in a small wave. I force a smile, which I'm sure looks more like I’m constipated than an actual smile. I start to lift my hand to wave back…

  “Mikayla… Come onnnn!!” Meg screams at me like a banshee.

  I stand up suddenly and hurl myself through the window, tripping on the eave and falling so unladylike, flat on my ass. “What is wrong with you?” She looks at me like I’ve grown a second head.

  “Big boy farm.” WHAT? Please, Kill. Me. Now.

  By the time I’ve calmed my rapidly beating heart and convinced Megan that I’m not completely insane, I find myself stumbling down her driveway and onto the driveway next door. We’re greeted by a lady who looks to be in her late 30’s, wearing sweats and unloading boxes from a cherry red truck. She sees us and instantly smiles. “Hi, you young ladies must be our neighbors?” she says, wiping sweat from her brow.

  “I am, my name’s Megan,” she reaches out to shake the ladies hand. “This is my best friend Mikayla,” she nudges me.

  “Uh. Hi, I’m… um Mikayla,” I say, shaking her hand. My eyes are cast downwards. I don’t want to look too much at the ladies face. She’s more than likely the mother of the boy whom I’ve just been eye licking.

  “Well, you girls are just the prettiest picture,” she drawls in a thick Texan accent. “I’m Sam,” she faces the house, “Henry! Boys!”

  Im still looking at the concrete of the driveway when I hear the front screen door open and close a couple times.

  “Yeah, Ma?” says a male voice. I jerk my head up and see him, like, really see him. Brown, like the color of syrup, his eyes. He recognizes me and stands in front of me with a smile.

  “Honey, this is Megan, she’s our neighbor.” He takes his cap off and shakes Megan's hand, never taking his eyes off me. “And this is her best friend Mikayla.” We shake hands, and I swear, sparks fly and my hand tingles with a sensation that roots me to the floor, something I have never felt before. “Girls, this is my son James, I have another one somewhere, much younger. I’m sure you’ll see him soon.”

  “Nice to meet you.” James finally lets go of my hand and I weep internally.

  Megan’s looking at me like she’s watching the third head ooze from the second head I’ve just grown. Luckily, she saves the day by actually talking to this James kid. I’m still trying to get over the physical shocks that have just sparked my body into life. They talk about school and sports and why they moved here, what there is to do in our small town, and everything else small talk might consist of.

  From this, I get that he’s a freshman and will be going to our school. Great. I’ll be a struck dumb and mute for the next four years.

  I hear my name, but I don’t know what was said.

  Megan nudges my side, I look up at her, her eyebrows raised and head jerking towards James. I slowly look over to him. “Huh?” Im so fricken eloquent I can’t even handle it.

  He clears his throat, “It was nice meeting you Mikayla, I have to get back to helping unpack. Hopefully I’ll see you around school or something.” He says it more like a question than a statement.

  Before I get to answer a kid comes barreling toward us, he can’t be more than 8 years old. He runs straight to Meg and me so fast I don’t think he can stop in time. Both Meg and I put our hands out to stop him from crashing into us, but his legs save him and he stops mere inches from us. He glares at Megan, then at me. Seconds which feel like minutes pass, neither saying anything. Then he smiles, “Hey, have you seen my baseball?”

  We can’t help it. We laugh.

  2 weeks later, James and I are dating.

  ***

  “You okay there, Miss Mikayla?” Heidi asks from across the limo.

  I must’ve zoned out.

  “Yeah…” I huff. “I just… I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming,” I say, as I pick imaginary lint of my dress.

  “No one suspects the people they love of douchebaggery,” Heidi looks at me sympathetically.

  “Or slutbaggery,” Lucy adds.

  Chapter 6

  *Jake*

  We get to prom within seconds of the announcement. Heidi goes from the girl we know to the girl everyone expects her to be. She prances on stage, smiles and says a few words. Prom King is Doug, the quarterback. Of course he is.

  They pose for photos but it’s awkward as hell because Doug knows Dylan’s watching and you don’t fuck with Dylan. Doesn’t matter that physically, they’d be a decent match up. There’s only one thing Dylan loves more than basketball and that’s his girl. And there’s a huge difference between basketball and Heidi. We’d give him shit if he weren’t so serious about her. He’s not the hearts and flowers kind of guy, but he’s the heart and soul kind, and fuck if every girl would rather that than flowers.

  ***

  We’re all watching the stage when I see Casey sauntering towards me, I panic and step closer to Mikayla. It’s a dick move but I didn’t know I
was doing it until it was done. Mikayla looks up at me, eyebrows drawn in and I guess she must sense my panic because she follows my eyes to Casey and I think she understands. She wraps her tiny little arms around my waist and her side presses against mine, her head getting comfortable in the crook of my arm as I put my arm around her shoulders.

  “Hey, Jake,” Casey coos inches away from us. “Who’s your little friend? I haven’t seen this one around before.”

  I flinch at he words and I feel Mikayla tense next to me, but only for a second before she recovers herself.

  “Casey, this is Mikayla.” Mikayla laughs once, “Baby, you don’t have to be so formal.” She reaches a hand out to Casey. “Jake calls me Kayla. Do you go to school here, Lacey?”

  “It’s Casey.”

  “Oh.” Mikayla nods once, smiling at Casey. Then she looks up at me. Big brown eyes like Bambi. She rubs her hands up and down my chest. “I’m thirsty, babe. Let’s get a drink then head to the hotel,” she says loud enough for Casey to hear. Then she gets on her toes and whispers in my ear, “I’m not wearing any underwear.” I don’t know if Casey can hear her, but I know she can see my eyes widen in surprise. What she can’t see is my dick twitch at the thought.

  Fuck, I’m such a guy.

  I look down at her, and she’s smirking back at me.

  “Well, have a good night,” Casey interrupts, and then backs away.

  Heidi comes back from the stage, “Was that Casey? What did she do to you this time?” she asks, watching Casey walk back into the dance floor. She turns to us and motions her finger between us, “And what the fuck is going on here?”