More Than This

by Jay McLean

  When I went upstairs I didn’t expect to walk in on her conversation with her aunt about having no underwear. Like, none at all. I couldn’t help but look up at her when she said it, her nipples were poking through my shirt.

  I know, I’m a dick. The girl’s so fucking fragile right now, she’s just lost everything, and I’m the creepy perv, staring at her tits. I’d punch myself in the face if my hand wasn’t so fucking sore.

  ***

  The doorbell rings and I open the door to a tiny pixie haired lady about my mom’s age. She smiles warily at me.

  “I assume your Jake?”

  “You must be Lisa, come in. Have a seat,” I gesture to the sofa in the family room. “I’ll just go get Kayla, she’s upstairs.”

  “Thanks, hun. Oh, and give her this.” She hands me a bag. Bras and panties.

  I run into my mom on the staircase and tell her that Lisa is downstairs waiting, she leaves to introduce herself.

  I knock on my bedroom door and open it slightly, peeking in. She’s in the middle of my bed in the fetal position, quietly crying. My heart breaks.

  I clear my throat and she looks up at me.

  She sits up and wipes frantically at her tears.

  I sit on the bed next to her. She’s showered and wearing my mom’s sweats which are a little small for her, they hug her curves, but I don’t look too long.

  I grab her face in my hands and start wiping the tears away with my thumbs. I don’t know if she means to, but she leans into my hand a little and it takes everything in me not to kiss her.

  “Your Aunt Lisa’s here,” I tell her. “And she wanted me to give you this.” I hand her the bag.

  She blushes. “Thank you, uh, I’ll just go to the bathroom and… dress… just wait here, okay?”

  I nod, because being in the next room while she tries on underwear is going to be fine.

  She’s out within minutes and a shy smile creeps on her face. She sits down next to me on the bed.

  “I know that I’ve already said this but I don’t think I can say it enough, Jake. Thank you, for being here, and for helping… and your mom… I need to thank her too. And your dad, I haven’t even met him yet… god, I’m so rude. I just-"

  “Kayla, stop. It’s fine. We honestly don’t mind. And you’ll meet my dad soon, he should be home with Julie any minute now.”

  “Julie?”

  “My little sister, she’s eight.”

  Sadness shadows her face, she must be thinking about her sister. “How old is, I mean was, Emily?”

  “She was nine.” She stops breathing for a second and closes her eyes. When she opens them, there’s a resolution there, like she’s made a decision, or accepted this horrible fate.

  She grabs my hand in hers. “Come with me, please? Just be there… with me.”

  I lead her down the stairs and into the family room where Lisa is waiting for us. Mom’s there too and there’s tea set out on the table. Lisa stands when we walk in and they hug for a long time. I take a seat on the two seater opposite and assume Kayla will sit next to Lisa on the sofa, but she surprises us by sitting next to me, and continues holding my hand. She sits so close to me, like she’s trying to climb me.

  She’s afraid.

  I adjust our positions so I can throw my arms around her waist and hold her hand, she burrows even closer to me.

  I’m not blind to the confused stares we’re getting from the grown ups, I just don’t care. If she needs me, I’ll be there.

  It’s then I realize that this might be the last time I see her. I don’t know what her plans are or where she’ll live after this. Is she still going to UNC? She might not even want to see me again. Surely, in her mind, I’m linked to the worst night of her life. I didn’t even think of that. My stomach drops at the thought of never seeing her again.

  Lisa clears her throat, glancing between the two of us. “I’m sorry.” Her eyebrows are drawn together in confusion. “I know there are more pressing things we need to discuss, but what’s going on here?” She looks at kayla now. “Kayla, your mom sent me a picture of you last night. You were cozied up next to James, and Megan was there. She said in the message that you had just left for prom. Am I missing something?”

  I look to Mom and she’s just as confused. She leans forward in the recliner waiting for an answer. She won’t get one from me.

  Mikayla's voice is so quiet you can barely hear her words. “I walked in on James last night.” Lisa gasps, knowing where this is heading. “With Megan.” Lisa’s face falls. Kayla continues, “They were seeing each other behind my back for two years.” It’s Moms turn to gasp.

  I hold her tighter.

  “That’s when I met Jake, he was there… he was there to help me. He-"

  “Wait,” Lisa interrupts. “you guys have only known each other for one night?”

  Kayla’s quiet for a long moment before she answers, “I don’t think that really matters, Lisa. I knew James for four years.”

  Lisa nods in understanding.

  “I know it’s strange, and I know it might be circumstantial. Like, we shared an experience and that somehow makes us closer, but, Lisa,” Kayla looks up at us now, “Jake, he makes things hurt a little less. He… he’s home for me right now. If being around him takes the pain away just a tiny bit, then it doesn’t matter how or why he’s here with me. I just…you can’t understand…” her voice trails off.

  Lisa settles back on the sofa, my mom smiles at Kayla, and I kiss her on the temple before leaning us back into the sofa.

  Just then the front door bursts open and Julie goes barreling down the entrance hallway. I hear her shoes squeak as she makes an effort to stop abruptly, then she slowly walks into the room. My dad comes up behind her and places his hand on her shoulder. She looks at everyone in the room one by one, her eyes land on Mikayla and she does a double take, she takes in our positions and closeness to each other.

  “Ooooh,” she says, coming closer to us. She’s examining Kayla’s face up close. “You’re pretty!” Then she looks at me, “Better than the last one, Jacaaaarb.” She says my name like she did when she was a baby, she does it when she wants to be a brat because it pisses me off, but now is not the right time. I’m about to tell her to get lost when she leans even closer towards Kayla.

  “Hey! I know you! Your Emily’s sister, right? Man, she looks so much like you. She’s gonna be just as pretty when she grows up. We have dance together. She wasn’t there today though, is she sick?”

  “Okay kiddo, time to get some homework done. I’ll let you do it in my office on the big spinny chair.” My dad says, and then mouths a ‘sorry’ to Kayla.

  “Oh no…” My mom covers her mouth with her hand. “Emily Jones? Your parents are Kevin and Denise?” Understanding dawns on her face.

  Kayla nods. Her eyes wide with unshed tears.

  “Oh, sweetheart.” Mom cries.

  Lisa looks between my mom and Kayla. It’s not enough that Kayla’s lost her entire family, or that Lisa’s lost her best friend, but now mom’s lost people she cares about too, she just didn’t know it.

  “So, there might be a slight issue with the hotel room, Kayla.” Lisa breaks the silence.

  We all look at her.

  “I tried to book two rooms at the same hotel, or at least a room with two beds, or even a room with a twin or queen bed, but the only ones available are singles and even they were hard to find. Apparently some new ‘Nicholas Sparks’ movie is being filmed here and that ‘Zac Teflon’ boy from those high school movies is in town. All the hotels are booked out.”

  She takes a sip of her tea. “I thought you would be staying with James or Megan, but now I see that that’s not an option.” She glances at me, and then down to our entwined hands. “I can make it work. We’ll make a bed on the floor of the hotel until we sort out what’s happening with the house insurance and stuff.” She tries to smile.

  “She can stay here!” I blurt out.

  Kayla’s head whips to face
me.

  “Right, Mom?” I plead with my eyes.

  “Yes, sweetheart, of course, you can stay here until things settle a bit and more permanent housing has been organized.” She smiles reassuringly at me.

  “I can’t stay here-"

  “What?” I face her.

  “You can, and you will.” My mom states with a tone that means ‘the end’.

  ***

  Lisa ends up staying for dinner, Julie is spending the night at a friends house. Dad apologizes to Kayla again and has assured her that he’s explained the situation to Julie. It might be a little hard for an eight year old to comprehend but he did the best he could. I know Kayla appreciates it.

  Lisa and Mom make plans to catch up again the next day to organize some more things. I think Lisa is glad someone is there to help both her and Kayla, and I know Mom doesn’t mind, especially now that she’s found out she knew Kayla’s parents.

  After dinner, Lucy and Heidi arrive. I rang them earlier and told them about her clothing situation, the fact the she doesn’t have any, aside from underwear.

  I get them to wait in the family room while I run upstairs to get Kayla, she’s been holed up in my room since dinner. She didn’t eat.

  I don’t know how she’ll feel about me telling them, and them being here.

  I knock on the door and wait for her response.

  She opens the door and peeks out. I can tell she’s been crying from the puffiness of her eyes.

  “Hey,” I say.

  She fails her attempt at a smile.

  “Umm, I really don’t want you to get mad, but uh,” I rub the back of my head, nervous habit, “Lucy and Heidi are downstairs…”

  “Jake, I don’t-"

  “It’s my fault, I rang them earlier. I just, you need clothes, and probably other girl things, and I didn’t know what else to do…”

  Her eyes are cast downwards, but when she hears my explanation she looks up at me and a small smile breaks through.

  She opens the door wider and steps out of the room, grabbing my hand as we climb down the stairs.

  We stand at the door of the family room and Lucy and Heidi both turn to us. At first they see our hands locked, then they look up at us and smile.

  Lucy speaks first, “We’re really sorry about what happened Mikayla. If you need anything at all… just let us know, okay?” She’s standing in front of Kayla looking straight into her eyes.

  Kayla nods.

  Heidi stands up and positions herself next to Lucy, “We just bought some stuff over that you might need, Jake mentioned you can’t get back into your house. So… we just bought the essential stuff. I know it’s not much Mikayla-"

  “It’s more than enough,” Kayla interrupts. “And my friends call me Micky.”

  I smile at her, let go of her hand and use it to bring her head to my lips, I kiss her on her temple. I love doing it and she doesn’t seem to mind, so I’ll keep doing it until she tells me to stop.

  “I’ll get some drinks,” I tell them, as I walk out of the room.

  Chapter 11

  *Mikayla*

  Heidi and Lucy have come by to let me borrow some things while I’m here, seeings as I can’t get into my house, crime scene and all that.

  “I just got you some stuff you might need, girl things. Jake didn’t really know what you needed. It was kinda adorbs when he rang, all awkward and shit,” Heidi pauses. “Micky…” she waits until I’m looking at her. “Jake… he’s good people y’know. I’m glad it was him you ended up with last night.”

  I nod slowly, “Me too.”

  “Anyway,” Heidi continues perking up, “I just bought some toiletries, body wash, shavers, toothbrush, lotions. I didn’t know what you liked so I just packed whatever I had. I bought some clothes too. I mean, we didn’t know how long you’d be staying so we really didn’t know what to pack. We figured we’re all about the same size though.”

  “You guys, whatever you’ve got will be perfect, I’m sure.” I smile, it’s a genuine one, because these girls, they don’t even know me, and they’re doing what they can to help.

  I still haven’t heard from Megan. Nothing.

  Lucy pipes up. “I packed some clothes too, obviously Heidi and I don’t dress the same, so at least you’ll have a choice of what to wear,” she chuckles to herself. “Umm, I also bought my spare e-reader for you. I don’t really know…” She looks to the ground, her voice getting softer. “I don’t know if you’ll want to read, or if you can concentrate on reading… I just… it’s there if you want it.”

  “Thanks, book best friend.” I tell her, and she beams back at me.

  Theres a few moments of silence.

  I can’t even imagine how awkward this must be for them, trying to console a girl they don’t even know.

  “So…” I start, “Justin Bieber’s your jam, Heidi?”

  They both laugh, and the awkwardness leaves the room for the moment.

  “It’s kind of an inside joke,” Heidi says through giggles.

  “Not really,” Lucy smirks at Heidi. “Heids here had a wee little obsession with the Biebs when he first blew up. She went a little too stalkerish when he was in town once, his security had to detain her and her parents had to pick her up.”

  “No way!” I say, eyes big in disbelief.

  “Yes, way.” Jake interrupts, as he walks in with drinks for all of us. He places the tray on the coffee table between us.

  “The next day at school everyone knew about it, people were calling her ‘wannabeiber’. She didn’t care though, she wore it proud, like a badge. I still see Dylan's eye twitch whenever he hears Justin Bieber.”

  Our laughter fills the room.

  Talking about this reminds me of Emily, so I tell them about it.

  About how my dad tried to dance ‘The Dougie’ to Emily’s version of ‘Baby’. About how they followed me around belting, ‘Penis, penis, penis ohhhh’.

  When the laughter fades, a sadness washes over me.

  “I can’t believe it was just last night,” I say to no one in particular. “It feels like so long ago. This day has gone on forever.” I look at Jake next to me. “Is this like, the longest day in history? What is with today?” I ask seriously.

  He puts his arm around my shoulders and kisses the side of my head, I love when he does that.

  “We’ll let ourselves out,” Lucy says, halfway out the door with Heidi.

  “Let’s get you to bed.” He helps me to my feet.

  ***

  I’ve been laying in bed for 2 hours and I can’t seem to settle. I’m exhausted and restless, and devastated. I don’t have words. I want to go home, and I don’t. I guess I won’t be able to tell how I feel until I’m faced with the opportunity.

  An hour later I’m still wide awake. I need to get out of this bed, out of this room. I head downstairs. I can hear the murmurs of a TV running, but stop in my tracks at the bottom of the stairs when I hear my name, conversation’s coming from the kitchen.

  “Does Mikayla have nowhere else to stay?” Jake's dad, Nathan, asks.

  I freeze, my stomach drops to the floor.

  “Dad, Seriously?”

  A moment of silence.

  “I’m sorry, son. That came out all wrong.” Nathan's voice is softer now, more sympathetic. He doesn’t have an accent either, come to think of it, neither did Julie.

  “Look,” Nathan continues, “it’s not that we don’t want her here, you have to know that, but you need to understand that we’re just worried about you-"

  “Dad-"

  “Hang on, Jake. Just let me finish… What you guys experienced, it’s a lot to take in, even if you had known each other for years, it’s still would have been… I don’t know. It’s just that, well, your mom told me that you guys met last night, and we’re not blind Jake, I see the way you are with her, the way she is with you. I know that there’s something there. But, I guess we just worry, and not just for her, for you too, Jake. This is a lot to take in for s
omeone your age, for anyone, regardless. I guess what I’m trying to say is that we, your mother and I, are just afraid that she’ll depend too much on you, and that you’ll take it as more than what it is. She has no one else?”

  “I don’t know what you want me to say, Dad.”

  “I don’t want you to say anything, I’ve said what I need to,” Nathan sighs. “Now that that’s out of the way, we also want you to know that we’re so proud of you, Jake. You’ve changed and grown up a lot in the last year or so, you’ve turned out to be a good man, and we love you. Just remember that you’ve worked hard to get to where you are, all of us have. Just remember that, and your mom and I, well… we trust you to make the right decisions, not just with this girl, with everything.”

  “Thanks, Dad.” his voice breaks.

  I hear footsteps heading toward me and panic. I can’t run back upstairs, I’ll look like I’ve been listening in on their conversation. Idiot.

  “Kayla?” Jake says.

  I turn around to face them both, they have to know I’ve just heard everything they’ve said.

  “Goodnight, Mikayla.” Nathan brushes past me to the staircase and gives my shoulder a little pat.

  I struggle to find my voice. “Goodnight, Sir.”

  “Can’t sleep?” Jake asks.

  I shake my head.

  He’s in sweatpants, and nothing else. His broad chest and shoulders are on display, his stomach muscles ripped and defined, down to the V that leads to his… I’m staring.

  “Watch some TV with me?” He holds out his hand. “Nothing like infomercials to make me wanna crash.”

  I take his hand as he leads me to his bed on the sofa.