More Than This

by Jay McLean

He moves to position us so I’m straddling him and his arms are around me and we can’t get any closer together.

  “Mikayla, it was you that wanted to leave here, not me. You’re the one that wanted to find somewhere else. It was never me.”

  I don’t know how to explain this to him. So that he understands that it’s not about him.

  I close my eyes and breath out a steady breath. When I open them, I look straight into his deep blue ones. “I want to make sure that I’m strong enough on my own, without you. Because since that night, it’s been you, only you. You’re my entire world and I need to learn to stand on my own and be my own person, and I can’t do that here.”

  “Why not?” It’s a plea. His face is so close to mine, our mouths almost touching. I want to kiss him. I look at his lips, then back to his eyes, and he must know what I’m thinking because he licks his lips just a tiny bit.

  But I close my eyes so I’m not tempted because this is not how I want our first kiss.

  “Just try. Please?” He pleads, his voice breaking.

  And I look at him.

  Really, truly, look at him.

  And I fall in love all over again.

  “Please, Mikayla. Just give it until the new year. Promise me?”

  I nod.

  He picks us up off the floor and carries me back to his bed where he holds me and I hold him.

  “God Jake, I so much more than a lot like you.”

  “Mikayla, I passed that stage a long, long time ago.”

  Chapter 44

  *Jake*

  It’s been a week since we went to Emily’s grave and a week since that night we… I don’t know what that night was, but it did bring us closer, so I guess we needed to have it out.

  Also, Kayla is a little girl when it comes to insects and rodents.

  She saw a mouse and a cockroach and demanded our house be fumigated and pest controlled, or whatever it’s called.

  Apparently we have to be gone for two nights so she suggested heading back home for the weekend. But I, being the gentleman that I am, booked us a weekend at a hotel. It’s nothing swanky but it’s something different and I think we need it.

  “I hope you’re not planning on getting lucky tonight,” she elbows me as I take our bags out of my truck.

  “I ordered extra pillows just in case,” I say smugly.

  She faces me, eyes bugging out of her head, mouth wide open in shock, a legit gasp escaping her mouth.

  I laugh so hard at her reaction, I have to stop to catch my breath.

  Once we’re in the hotel room, I’m kicking myself because I didn’t bring any alcohol. I know we don’t need any to have a good time but it sure as shit doesn’t hurt. I tell Kayla that I’m gonna go down to the bar to see if I can charm them with my good looks and ‘panty dropping’ smile. Her words. Definitely not mine.

  She says she’s gonna hop in the bath.

  I say I’m staying.

  She pushes me out the door.

  15 minutes later, after I talk to the bar tender, who happens to be a baseball fan, and meeting behind some sketchy back alley, I’m back in our room.

  She’s still in the bath when I walk into the bathroom.

  “Having fun?” I ask her, trying to sneak a peek. She has bubbles so high in the bath that I can’t see shit anyway.

  “Mmhmmm” she hums, eyes closed. “We should totally get a hot tub for your house.”

  “That can totally be arranged.” I smirk at her. “Can I get in?”

  “Yep,” she pops the ‘p’. “I’m getting out now anyway.”

  And she does.

  Completely naked and dripping wet and I sit there frozen with my jaw on the floor, my eyes outside of my head, and my mouth foaming.

  Holy shit.

  Instant. Hard. On.

  By the time my brain catches up to my dick, she’s already drying off and putting a robe on.

  “Wait.” I’m 12. Literally acting like I’ve never seen a naked girl before. But truthfully, it was never like the way it is with Kayla.

  I have to clear my throat a thousand fucking times so something, anything, comes out.

  “What are you doing?” I almost yell at her because I’m pathetic and have no control over anything at the moment. “Take that off. Get back naked. Hurry!” What the fuck did I just say?

  She chuckles at me, then pushes me out the bathroom door and locks it behind me.

  Fuck.

  I stand there, with my head resting against the bathroom door, waiting for her to open it and come out so I can tell her to get naked again, like the creeper that I am. I need to see her again.

  She opens it, still wearing the robe and I’m practically ripping it off her, or at least trying to. But my brain and body don’t work because all the blood has rushed to my dick and she’s laughing at me.

  Fricken laughing at me.

  Until she manages to push me away and I calm down a bit, but in my head, I’m that 6 year old kid that didn’t get the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle action figure I wanted, and I’m going to ask and plead for it every fucking hour until I get what I damn well want. Because I’m a brat, and I need to see her naked.

  ***

  Once I’ve settled down a bit, we open the champagne and fill the glasses with ice, the way she likes, and start drinking.

  It’s not long until were slightly buzzed and talking shit.

  “Did you have a pet Kangaroo in Australia?”

  I spit out my drink, because it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.

  “What?” she laughs. “What’s so funny? Did you?” she asks through a giggle.

  “No,” I state flatly. “We did not have pet kangaroos. They do not roam the streets or back yards like everyone thinks. In fact, the only time I saw kangaroos were at the Zoo.”

  “Oh,” she says, still giggling. “Then why would everyone think that? It doesn’t make sense.”

  “No shit.”

  “I’m tired,” she says, stretching.

  Dammit, now I know we won’t be fooling around.

  “You ready for bed?” I ask, getting up and turning to walk over to my bag to get my phone charger.

  “Almost,” she whispers behind me.

  I hear something soft drop to the floor.

  And when I turn around her robe is on the floor and she’s wearing hot pink matching underwear. All lace. Almost see through, everywhere. The pink contrasts her darker skin and I swear to god my dick is about to snap right off.

  “Holy shit,” I breath out.

  She laughs a shy laugh, her cheeks going red and her face hiding behind a curtain of her hair.

  I slowly walk towards her, because her body deserves to be taken in slowly, from top to bottom. When I reach her my mouth is dry and I’m sure my dick is tenting my pants but I don’t look because I can’t fucking take my eyes off her body.

  When I reach her and I’m inches from her, so close that I can feel her body heat radiating, my fingers move away from my body but stop millimetres from hers.

  “I don’t know what to touch first,” I tell her.

  She closes her eyes softly, “I don’t care, Jake. Just touch me.”

  *Mikayla*

  And so he does.

  He feels like he’s everywhere all at once.

  His hands.

  His Mouth.

  Everything.

  Everywhere.

  He lifts me with his hands on my ass and my legs go around him. He groans when our parts collide and I can feel him and I’m sure he can feel me. He carries us to the bed, and lays me down. He stands up to hover above me and for seconds which feel like hours he looks at me, eyes wonder over my body and I’m almost ready to cover myself, because I’m so self conscious and it took so much courage to wear this and be this in front of him.

  “God, Mikayla. You are so damn beautiful.” His mouth lifts on one side, “Is this what you bought that-" I nod. It’s the one I bought when we went to the mall with Julie. “It’s about
fucking time I got to see it.”

  I laugh as he rips his shirt and pants off, leaving on his boxers.

  When his body hovers over mine and I can feel the skin on skin sensation, a guttural moan escapes my mouth before I can stop it.

  His mouth is on my neck kissing me and his hands are all over the place like they can’t get enough.

  He looks up at me.

  Then leans up and puts his weight on his elbows. Our parts joined together. My lace panties and his boxers the only barrier.

  “As much as I love what you’re wearing, and that you’re wearing them for me, I’d prefer that you didn’t have anything on.”

  I nod my head and he understands my meaning.

  Slowly, and effortlessly he unclips my bra and removes the straps of my shoulder, kissing the skin left behind. Once it’s off, his body hovers lower, he’s kissing my bare stomach and his fingers curl around the band of panties, he has to be able to tell how turned on I am, and how badly I need him.

  Slowly, so fucking slowly, he begins to pull down my panties until they’re on the floor. He sits on his heels and looks at me.

  His eyes darting all over my body.

  His body comes back up and lays next to me. Him on his side facing me. Me on my back, head turned, facing him.

  His hand moves hair out of my face, then rests on my stomach.

  “Shit, Mikayla. I’m going to regret this,” he breaths out.

  “Regret what?” His hands start to move lower and lower.

  So close.

  “I want to kiss you so bad.” He eyes my lips and licks his, before moving back to my eyes.

  “So why don’t you?”

  “Because if I kiss you, then I’ll want to taste you, and if I taste you, then I’ll need to fuck you. And when I fuck you, it means your mine. And when I make you mine, I want it to be in our bed. Not a hotel room… Is that okay?”

  Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  I’m so fucking turned on, an uncontrollable cry escapes and before I know it, his boxers are off and he’s flipping me on top off him, I’m straddling him and my wet heat is on his bare hard dick and he’s moving us so were grinding, but not so that he’s inside, and it’s so intense I think I’m legit crying from the pleasure of it.

  “God, Kayla. I just want to feel you,” he whispers.

  One hand is reaching the back of my neck and the other is holding my ass.

  I want to scream.

  It feels so fucking good.

  And I can’t even comprehend if I’m making any noises in reality or if the screams are just in my head.

  And then…

  He leans his head forward and takes my nipple in his mouth and he sucks, and licks and oh fuck…

  He’s pushing up and I’m moving back and forth. My wetness alone sleeked over both our parts. His hand squeezing my ass, hurts in all the good ways.

  I don’t know if my eyes are closed or if the world has just stopped existing.

  The build up is so powerful and I’m trying to hold off because I want to feel like this for the rest of my fricken life.

  His mouth moves from my breasts and goes to my neck and I lower myself onto him, and he’s thrusting up and hitting a spot I didn’t know could be hit.

  Now, I know all the sounds that were in my head, are out loud in reality because my throat is scratchy.

  “Fuck, Kayla. I’m so fucking close.” He starts moving faster on me and thats all it takes.

  “OH FUCK!” I scream, while he moans out the most manliest sound I’ve ever fucking heard.

  At some point, he has enough respect for the other hotel guests that he grabs the back of my head and plasters my face into his neck so it catches most of my scream.

  I’m riding every wave panting ‘holy fuck’ the entire time.

  When it’s over he starts to chuckle.

  I sit up and cock my head at him questioningly.

  “You are so fucking loud, Kayla. Jesus, we need to work on that.”

  Chapter 45

  *Mikayla*

  HOLE. EE. SHIT.

  I feel sorry for all the girls in the world that never get to experience a Jake Andrews at least once in their lifetime.

  ***

  I look at him with my nose scrunched, disgusted look on my face.

  “It’s not at all what the rap videos make it seem like,” he’s laughing to himself.

  We’re having dinner at the hotel restaurant the next day and we somehow got to talking about strip clubs, I don’t know how.

  “So you guys weren’t sitting in red leather booths with ‘stunna’ shades, making it rain money?”

  He laughs out loud, causing other diners to glare it him.

  “No, Kayla, it most definitely was not like that. More like, sticky pleather chairs, making it rain germs.” He mocks a disgusted shiver.

  The waitress comes over for our drinks order, never once looking at me, her eyes glued to Jake, eye fucker.

  “I’ll have a beer,” Jake says calmly. “What about you, baby? Champagne with ice?”

  I nod, and smile.

  “Make it two of each, we’re on our honeymoon,” he says to the waitress, who then looks at me like she just realized I was sitting here.

  Slutbag.

  ***

  After a few more than a couple of beverages each, we head back to our room.

  “Oh. My. God,” I say, “That old dude is my Lit. Professor and that girl is in my class.” I watch as the couple make there way over to us, fondling each other, not a care in the world.

  Jake laughs.

  As they come closer, Jake decides to be a smart ass and stand right in there way so they have no choice but to stop and look.

  He does this to be an asshole.

  When they stop and see him, and me, it’s awkward as all hell.

  “Hi, Professor Greene,” I say quietly, looking down, I try to smile but it doesn’t follow through because Jake is an asshole, and this is fricken awkward.

  “Oh!” The professor sounds surprised. He let’s go of the student and straightens up, rubbing a hand through his hair. “Hi, Miss Jones.”

  He eyes me and then Jake.

  His eyes widen slightly.

  “I didn’t know that Jake Andrews was your boyfriend.”

  “Oh, he’s not.”

  Jake tenses next to me, then walks away, heading towards our room.

  The professor tries to make awkward conversation, and the student tries to hide behind him.

  As quickly as possible we say our goodbyes and I walk back to the room.

  When I open the door he’s coming out of the bathroom.

  “I’m going to take the floor, so you want to pick what pillows and blankets you want now?” he says to the room. He won’t look at me.

  What?

  “What?”

  “I said-"

  “I know what you said, Jake. But we have a king sized bed here, it’s not like we haven’t slept in the same bed before. Did I do something?”

  “Whatever, Micky. Just pick so I can get some sleep. I’m tired as fuck.”

  Micky? He never calls me Micky.

  “What happened? You never call me Micky.”

  “Well, maybe I should, that’s what your friends call you right?”

  “Jake-"

  “Well, if I’m not your boyfriend, and I’m not your friend, then what the fuck am I?” he’s yelling at me. “What the fuck am I to you, Mikayla? Tell me, please, because you sure as shit aren’t making it clear!”

  I look down and shrivel into myself, hoping to god this isn’t happening. Because I need him, so bad. And he hates me right now.

  *Jake*

  “So?” I ask.

  “Jake, I can’t, I can’t be more than this, not now, not yet.” Her voice breaks as tears form in her eyes. She won’t look at me.

  “More than what, Mikayla?” I growl out. “More than friends? We’re more than friends and you know it. You can’t deny it either, all the touching and fe
eling. The innocent kisses and fucking hand holding. You,” I point to her. “You sitting on my goddamn lap whenever you get the chance. Last night, when you were riding my dick? And I made you come? That’s what friends fucking do, Mikayla?”

  “Jake, that’s bullshit, don’t put it all on me. You know damn well you’re partly responsible for that too. It’s not just me. It never has been.”

  “I’m not the one denying anything, Micky.” I spit out again, just to bring it home. “You’re the one that can’t decide what the fuck we are.”

  “I don’t know!” she yells, standing up. Her voice is hoarse and tears are leaking from her eyes faster than she can wipe them away. She’s biting her lip so hard she’s going to draw blood. “I don’t know what the fuck to say, Jake. I mean, you have to know how I feel about you. You have to know that I…” she trails off.

  “That you what, Mikayla?”

  “I don’t know, okay?” She starts pacing the floor. I stand and watch her. “I just know that we can’t be together, not in that way. It’s just too much. I’m not ready. It’s just too fucking soon and I’m not fucking ready for it,” she screams louder with every word. She calms her breathing down and looks at me. “I just, you know how I feel, Jake. I just want you. Just you…”

  *Mikayla*

  Instantly, he’s rushing over to me and pins me against the wall. He lifts me up by my ass and I automatically wrap my legs around his waist. He’s kissing my neck, my collarbone. My face. Anywhere but my mouth.

  I’m gripping his hair, my head thrown back to give him better access to my neck, I’m moaning and groaning and I’m so fucking wet, I’m sure he can smell it. I want him so bad. God, I want him.