by A. E. Radley
“I’ve never really put a label on it,” she admitted. “After I married your father I thought that was that. That it was all rather irrelevant. And then, after the divorce, I didn’t think I’d have to think about it. Who wants to date the dragon lady?”
“Anyone would be lucky to have you,” he said sincerely.
She put her glass on the table and walked over to where he leaned on her desk. She pulled him into a big hug.
“Anyone would be lucky to have you as their son,” she told him.
He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, reminding her just how big he was growing and that he wasn’t her little boy anymore.
“I don’t believe you, by the way,” he said, his chin perched on her head.
“About what?” she asked.
“That you were just upset by Alexia’s reaction.”
“Yes, well, that’s your prerogative, I suppose.”
“It’s not too late,” he said.
She stepped back and cupped his cheek with her hand. “It is, darling. It is. Whether or not I have feelings for Holly is utterly irrelevant. She’s young, I’m old, divorced, I have two awful children who are practically monsters.”
He chuckled. “Hey, I didn’t say I hated you.”
“No, thank goodness.” She took a step back and grabbed another tissue. She felt she looked a mess, so she wanted to repair any damage before she set about dealing with Alexia.
“Holly didn’t mean to tell us,” he added. “I think she wanted to talk to you first. But then Alexia was trying to get her to take us to the movies next week and Holly had to come clean and tell us. She’s downstairs, she felt bad for upsetting Alexia, and I suggested she give her some space.”
Victoria swallowed. She examined her reflection in the mirror above the sofa.
“She has a job?”
“Yes, receptionist, part-time. It fits around her medical appointments,” he said.
“I see. And… somewhere to live? Please tell me she’s not still thinking about a hostel.”
“She mentioned sharing a house, renting a room. It’s, like, a million miles away, though.” He wrinkled his nose. “You have to take New Jersey Transit to get there.”
“I see.”
“So, she’s ruining her life,” Hugo added. “Taking the first job she can find, it’s not what she wants. She said it will pay the bills, but she won’t be happy.”
“She has her own life, Hugo, I can’t stop her.”
“You can talk to her. She looks up to you.”
Victoria laughed. “No, she doesn’t.”
“She does. She talks about you like you’re her hero. While you’re down here, hiding from us and pretending to be so busy with work. She’s watching movies, playing games, helping us with homework, and all the time she’s telling us how great you are and how lucky we are to have you.”
She swallowed again. She turned around and took a deep breath.
“That may be. But first I need to check on your sister.”
Hugo shrugged. “Whatever,” he mumbled. Clearly, he’d had enough bashing his head against the brick wall that was his mother’s stubbornness. Thank goodness.
She couldn’t think of anything to say to him. So, she walked silently out of the study. Her mind was spinning with new information. This wasn’t how she had expected the evening to go, but she supposed things had been building. Something had to give eventually.
The games room was quiet, the living room, too. It seemed that Alexia had gone straight to her room to sulk. Victoria walked up another flight of stairs to the top floor of the house. She approached Alexia’s door and gently knocked.
“Sweetheart? Can I come in?”
She waited a few moments.
Silence.
“Alexia?”
She realised the door wasn’t quite closed and softly pushed on the door. It opened to reveal a darkened room. She stepped in and squinted while her eyes adjusted to the lack of light.
“Alexia?” she asked.
She turned on the light and saw that the room was empty.
“Damn,” she mumbled to herself. If Alexia wasn’t in her room or the main living areas, she must be in Holly’s room. Presumably throwing herself on the floor and begging the girl to stay.
While she didn’t feel strong enough to confront Holly just yet, she knew she had to speak with Alexia. With a deep breath, she started to make her way downstairs.
36
Holly heard the footsteps coming down the stairs and paused her writing. She had no idea how Victoria would react to the news of her leaving, or to the fact that she had told the children before her. She suspected not well. Especially after she heard Alexia’s outburst twenty minutes ago.
Victoria appeared in the doorway. Holly offered her a tight smile.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Victoria said. She fidgeted with her hands as she tried to clasp them in front of herself.
“You’re not interrupting,” Holly told her. “I’m the one who should be apologising. I didn’t mean to upset Alexia. I didn’t want to tell her until after I had spoken with you, but she kind of cornered me and then wheedled it out of me.”
“She has a talented for wheedling information,” Victoria noted.
Victoria’s eyes drifted to the newly purchased second-hand suitcase that sat on the bench at the end of the bed. She opened her mouth to speak and then snapped it closed again.
“May I speak with her?” Victoria asked.
Holly frowned. “With?”
“My daughter,” Victoria pressed. “She’s not upstairs, so I assume she’s here… somewhere?”
“She’s not here, I haven’t seen her since I told her I was leaving.”
Victoria’s body tensed, and she took a step back out into the hallway. She looked towards the kitchenette.
“Are you sure?”
Holly closed her journal and stood up. Something didn’t feel right about this.
“Definitely,” she replied, “she must be upstairs.”
Victoria was already returning up the stairs, this time with Holly right behind her. On the next floor, Victoria started to search the rooms. Holly went up another flight and searched the living room and the games room.
Hugo’s bedroom door was wide open, and she leaned her head in to see if Alexia was there. She could hear the music blasting through his headphones. He looked at her inquisitively, and she shook her head, not wanting to worry him yet.
In the hallway she met a panicked Victoria.
“Anything?”
Holly shook her head. Together they scrambled up the final flight of stairs, Holly taking them two at a time. She went straight to Alexia’s room and looked inside, checking under the bed and behind the curtain just to be sure.
She heard Victoria checking the other rooms. Her voice was calling out for her daughter, increasing in volume each time.
Holly checked Alexia’s desk and noticed her phone and the small handbag she used were both gone.
Victoria burst into the room.
“Have you seen her?” she demanded. She breezed past Holly and started to check the bed and the curtains in the same way Holly had done moments before.
“No, and her phone is gone.” Holly had already pulled her own phone out of her jeans pocket and was starting to dial Alexia’s number.
Victoria let out a gasp. She dropped onto the edge of Alexia’s bed. She picked up one of the fluffy pink pillows and held it tightly on her lap. The colour started to drain from her face. Her eyes stared into nothingness.
The phone went straight through to voicemail.
“It’s Holly, you’re not in trouble, but you have to call us back immediately. We’re very worried, okay? Just, please, call us back.”
Holly fired off a quick text to Hugo and asked him to come upstairs. She could see that Victoria was rapidly starting to fall apart. She knelt in front of her.
“She’s going to be fine, we’ll find her,” Holly promised.
Vi
ctoria looked towards her, but her eyes were vacant. Holly couldn’t imagine the terror she was experiencing. Knowing that her eight-year-old daughter was roaming the streets of New York alone.
Hugo walked in. “What’s happening?” He looked at his mother in concern.
“Do you know where your sister is?” Holly asked as Victoria remained silent.
“No, I didn’t see her again after she shouted at Mom…” Hugo looked around the room. The penny dropped, and he realised why his mother was in pieces. “I’ll check the house again.”
He turned and left the room.
“Check everything,” Holly shouted after him. “Twice.”
“Got it!” he shouted back.
Holly went to Alexia’s desk and lifted the lid on her MacBook.
“Victoria, what’s the password?”
She turned around to see Victoria was still staring blankly into nothingness.
“Victoria!” she snapped. “Password.”
Victoria blinked a few times. “Oh, yes, um. I…” She looked shocked, the information not coming to her in the heat of the moment.
Holly walked over and kneeled in front of her again. She took her hands.
“She’ll be fine, she’s probably gone to a friend’s house or something. Her computer might have a clue. Just take a deep breath with me, okay? Let’s breathe in.” She took a deep breath and gestured for Victoria to do the same.
Remarkably, she did.
“And out.”
Victoria repeated the motion.
“It’s Izzy789,” Victoria said.
Holly went back to the computer and unlocked it. There were no windows open. She accessed the browser history, but Alexia hadn’t been on the computer all evening. Victoria stood behind her, looking at the screen and sighing at its lack of information.
“Has she ever done this before?” Holly asked.
“No, never.”
“Would she contact her dad?”
Victoria laughed bitterly. “No, she can’t stand him.”
“How much cash does she have here? Does she have access to any bank cards?”
Victoria stepped away and started to pace the room.
“She has a card for her bank account, but it’s kept in my safe in the study, she can’t open it. As for cash, she gets pocket money. And she has some emergency money. But I don’t know how much that is.” She paused and shook her head. “I have no idea how much cash she might have.”
Holly stood up and took Victoria’s hands in her own. “This isn’t your fault, if anything… it’s mine.”
“The blame game again, really, Holly?” Victoria snapped. She pulled away and sat on the edge of Alexia’s bed.
Holly ran her hands through her hair. She knew Victoria was referring to her accident, obviously she still felt that she shouldered the blame for that. It was infuriating that Victoria felt she was to blame when Holly knew it was her own fault. She had walked away. Did Victoria really feel that she had that much control over her?
Back at her sides, her fists tightened, fingernails digging into her palms. Then she remembered the serious situation and took a cleansing breath.
Hugo ran into the room, out of breath and with his shoes in his hand.
“She’s not here, her jacket is gone, and so are her favourite shoes. I’m going to go look for her.”
Victoria jumped to her feet. “No, you’re not leaving,” she said firmly, though her voice quivered. She started to rub her upper arms.
“Yes, I am,” Hugo argued. “The longer we leave it, the more chance—”
“I’ll go with him,” Holly interrupted whatever he was about to say. She agreed with him that searching for Alexia was the right thing to do, but she also understood Victoria’s reticence to let him out of her sight.
“But—” Victoria started.
“We’ll be fine, it’s for the best,” Holly said. “You stay here in case she comes home.”
“Should we call the police?” Hugo asked. He leaned against the doorframe and slipped on his shoes.
“She hasn’t been missing long enough,” Holly pointed out.
“They’ll make an exception for Mom,” he said.
“I’ll call,” Victoria agreed, her voice so soft that Holly struggled to hear despite standing beside her.
“Okay, let’s go,” Hugo said.
He turned to leave, but Victoria snapped out of her trance and grabbed his arm before he did. She enveloped him in a hug, grasping at his shoulders to hold him as tightly as possible.
“Be careful,” she told him.
Holly looked on awkwardly. She wanted to comfort Victoria and tell her that everything was going to be okay, but she knew that Victoria wasn’t likely to believe her nor appreciate the gesture.
Hugo pulled away and gave his mother a serious look before turning and leaving the room.
“We’ll be in touch,” Holly promised.
Victoria nodded but remained silent.
Holly raced down the stairs in pursuit of Hugo. She was already thinking of all the places Alexia might go, trying to think like her and predict her movements. She just hoped, shooting a quick look to the heavens, that nothing had happened.
37
Victoria sat on the stairs. Her gaze flicked between the front door and the phone she clutched in her hands. It had been an hour since Holly and Hugo had left, and there had been no word.
Her chest felt tight, and her breathing was shallow. She could only imagine the state she must look, feeble and broken.
She couldn’t help the bitter laugh that escaped her and rattled around the empty hallway. How the mighty have fallen, she thought. Just a few hours ago I was on top of the world, running my empire. Now I have lost my youngest child.
She stared at her phone again, fearful that she would somehow miss an important call or message. She’d called the police and informed them of the situation. While an official report couldn’t be created, she had the commissioner’s reassurance that word would be circulated to relevant officers on patrol in their neighbourhood.
The realisation that she had no idea where Alexia would go or what she would do was terrifying. Did she really know so little about her only daughter? Alexia had complained that her mother worked too hard. She’d often referred to Arrival as her older sister, and occasionally, Victoria’s favourite child.
Of course, Victoria had done everything she could to quash that. But now she wondered if maybe there was a grain of truth in it. Did she rank work over family? If only for the reason that work would kick, scream, and fall apart if she were absent, whereas family would do their best to forgive her.
If Alexia came home, things would change. They would have to.
Every award and accolade meant nothing if she would ever have to experience another second of this sheer terror.
The doorbell rang.
She nearly tripped over herself in her hurry to get to the door. The lock stuck for a moment, but she eventually yanked the door open. Two police officers stood on the doorstep, Alexia in between them.
She looked furious but healthy.
“Miss Hastings,” the female officer greeted. “We found your daughter in the park.”
Victoria felt her eyebrows raise. The very idea of Alexia alone in Central Park at night made her legs wobble.
Alexia rushed past her and into the house, not giving her mother a second glance.
Victoria watched her climb the stairs before dragging her eyes back to the officers.
“Thank you so much.”
“We’re just doing our job. Have a good evening, ma’am.”
Before she had a chance to form a sentence, they were on their way again. She closed the front door and leaned on it as she took a deep, shaky breath.
She fired off a quick text message to Hugo and Holly to let them know that Alexia was safely home.
“Alexia?” she called as she climbed the stairs.
“Go away,” the muffled response indicated that Alexia was i
n her room.
Victoria made quick work of the stairs and stood outside the closed bedroom door. She wanted to shove the door to one side and hold Alexia tightly, but she knew her presence wasn’t welcome yet.
She knocked on the door. “Darling? Please can we talk?”
“No.” She sounded like she was crying.
Victoria wasn’t about to stand by and listen to the sound of tears.
“I’m coming in,” she announced. She grabbed the door handle and entered the room.
Alexia was curled up on her bed, her back to the room. She hugged her favourite teddy bear to her chest.
A sudden shiver ran down Victoria’s spine at what might have happened. She wondered if she’d ever get over the panic.
She sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on Alexia’s hip.
“I don’t want Holly to go,” Alexia mumbled.
“I don’t either,” Victoria confessed.
“Then tell her she has to stay, she’ll listen to you.”
“She won’t, darling. She has to live her own life, and I’m not her boss anymore.”
Alexia turned over. Her eyes were red and her cheeks puffy.
“I don’t want her to go,” she repeated. “I hate it without her. I’m so l-lonely. I hate being here.”
Victoria heard a gasp escape her mouth. She had no idea that Alexia was so unhappy at home. There was a possibility that Alexia was being dramatic, but for some reason she didn’t think that was the case. If Alexia had wanted to pull on her mother’s heartstrings in the past, then this would surely have been brought up. But this was the first she was hearing of it, and that made it more real.
She knew that Holly spent a lot of time with her daughter and had seen that Alexia enjoyed that. But the possibility that Alexia was lonely had never even occurred to her. It made sense. Alexia’s brother rarely spent time with her, Victoria was rarely home and certainly unable to spend time with her when she was.
She kicked off her shoes and lay down beside her daughter, pulling her into a hug.
“I’m so sorry, darling. I didn’t know. We’ll… we’ll change things. It will be better, I promise.”
Alexia wrapped her arms around her and burrowed her face into her chest.