I lift a brow but continue chewing like it’s not a big deal.
“Are you seeing each other?” Cooper wonders.
“No. Eat your food and let me be in peace.”
“No way. You let a woman stay here last night. We want details. We heard you outside during the storm. Did you nail her?” Caleb’s question pisses me off.
“Mind your damn business. I’m not nailing anyone.”
“She’s hot. If I were into MILF’s I’d be all over that shit.”
I slam my hands down on the old oak table. “Enough, I said!”
They look at each other and both speak at the same time. “Didn’t nail her.”
I pick up my plate and toss out what I haven’t eaten. My appetite is gone, and now I’m more irritated, so I go to my bedroom and close the door behind me. I’m hoping a hot shower helps my foul mood. While the hot water falls down my body, I’m focused on one thing in particular.
A brunette with chocolate eyes, high cheeks, plump lips, and an ass that won’t quit. She came to me in need and I told her to hit the road. I finally let a woman come around only to kick her to the curb when she asked for my help.
What would it hurt if I helped her and got something significant in return? She’s right. The locals wouldn’t think anything of it. We’d be able to convince everyone that we were legit. There’s no denying we have chemistry. It’s always sort of been there, even though it was off limits.
I’m not used to letting good deals pass me by, but this one requires some major thought. I can’t make a quick decision and regret it later. This involves my kids. It’s my future, but it’s also hers. She’s having a tough time. I’ve never seen Perry this scared before. She’s irrational and all over the place.
It’s the next morning, after a long restless night. I’m on my way to the boat slip when I pass her road. I wonder if she’s all right. Was I too harsh? Can we still be friends after something like that?
I keep driving, wondering how long I should wait before visiting the tavern for a cold brew and some good company. Will she still want to serve me? Should I look for another place to drink?
I don’t know why it’s bothering me so much. I’ve never cared about anyone else’s feelings. It’s impossible to think I could go through with a marriage neither of us wants.
By the time I’m out on the water my focus changes. I’m thinking about the cleanliness of the house, and having someone who cares enough to want to be around me. I’m stubborn. Layla told me that almost every single day we were married. She said I was hardheaded, and sometimes didn’t consider the problems other people face. She told me we were the lucky ones.
After getting to know Perry just a little more, I’m starting to think Layla was right. Maybe it’s time I stopped being such a selfish bastard and blaming her death on the reason I can’t move forward.
I keep to myself on the boat, driving while the boys do most of the work. Once our quota is met we head back, where we’ll have to unload and start making deliveries of fresh catch. I assign the boys to their normal routes, and clean up the boat for the next morning.
On the way home I stop at the cemetery. I’m humbled to see that the kids have stopped by after my visit and placed different bouquets of flowers around. The grass has been freshly mowed, so I brush the cuttings away so I can see her name. “Hey, babe. I thought I’d stop by for a chat. I don’t know if you’ve been watching out for me, or if you’d approve of me hanging out with Perry. I never thought I’d say this, but I feel like I’m betraying you in my heart. When I’m around her I feel like I could want something again.”
I chuckle. “Remember how I used to joke all the time? You would tell me it was my sense of humor that made you fall in love with me. I want to be that man again, Layla, and I think I have the chance to get to know someone, but the circumstances aren’t ideal. She’s got a lot of baggage, and I’m almost embarrassed to think how much our kids would be a turnoff for her. Is it wrong for me to want to talk to you about this? Am I supposed to feel guilty? Darlin’ I’m going crazy. She’s got me thinking things I’m not sure are right. I’ve pretty much sent her away, but I feel terrible about it. I’m not saying I want to marry the woman. Hell, I don’t think I’m capable of ever loving another woman again, but I think it’s time I at least tried to find a companion. It’s been hard without you. Bristol continues to challenge me. She’s just like her momma, beautiful and saucy. She’s seeing an older guy. I’m worried she’s going to get knocked up. It’s not like I can sit her down and talk about girl stuff. You left me to handle all their problems. The boys were easy. I don’t know how to raise a woman. I need help, love. I need change in my life.”
The birds tweet above me in a nearby tree. A few people on bikes ride by and wave when they see me crouched down. I focus on the Layla’s stone. “I wish you’d help me make the right decisions. It would be nice if I knew it was okay to feel something again. I don’t want to fail you. God, I’d never be able to live with my choices if I did that. You made me a better man, Layla. I’m afraid I’ve been lost without you. I’ve spent years hiding behind responsibilities, but the kids are getting older. Pretty soon I’ll be alone. I’ll come home to empty house with nothing but memories of the life we used to share. I don’t want to go through that. It’s the scariest thing aside from losing you. That’s why I want the bar. I need a new purpose. I need a reason to want to get out of bed every day.”
A squirrel run across the grass in front of me, gets to Layla’s tombstone and stands up on it’s hind legs. For a few seconds we stare at each other. Then, as fast as it arrived, it runs back in the opposite direction. A single flower from a nearby dogwood falls from the tree, landing on the top of the stone. It could mean nothing. It’s spring. The grass is covered in these blossoms, but for me it’s a sign from Layla, letting me know she’s still around. I remain there for a while, talking and then sitting the rest of the time in silence. There’s too much on my mind to be able to narrow in on one solution.
When I leave I decide to check in on Perry. I don’t want her thinking I’m an asshole, and need her to know I care that she’s been going through hell.
The tavern remains closed. A sign hangs in the window, while her moped sits in the parking lot. Taking the chance she could be inside, I knock a few times and wait.
The latch tells me she’s opening the door, so I step back and give her space. She allows me inside, never making eye contact with me, then locks the door again. “I didn’t think I’d see you any time soon.”
“I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
She’s frank with me. “No. I’m not okay. I’m anything but okay, Buck. My son left me. He won’t even answer my calls. I’m trying to find a place to live and be able to move to within the next few weeks, something I can afford during the slow seasons. I made a fool out of myself in front of the only person I probably respect in this town, and now I’m being forced to talk about it. So, no. I’m nowhere near being okay.”
I catch her off guard when I lace my hand with hers. “I’m not either.”
“Wow,” she mumbles. I can tell she’s taken back by my admission.
“Yeah,” I say while cringing at my confession. “I haven’t been good for a long time. I was thinking maybe we could forget about our last conversation and start over. No one, and I mean not one person has worked so hard to make my house in the condition you left it. It took you one day, while it’s taken me almost eight years to mess it up. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t notice. I’d also be a fool to not appreciate you telling my daughter she was out of line. She needs that. We all do.”
“You’re welcome,” her words come out while she squeezes my hand tighter. “I appreciate you letting me stay there the other night. I can’t say I got much sleep in the past twenty four hours since we last spoke. At least I haven’t run into Peter.”
“Let me take you out for supper. My treat. I still owe you that date.”
She pulls out of my hold and crosses her arms ov
er her chest. “Then what? You buy me a meal and we go back to the way things were before the drama happened?”
After inhaling a deep breath, and giving myself enough time to think of a sensible response, I offer an answer. “And then we see what happens. No commitments. No promises.”
“What about the bar?”
“It will be here tomorrow, and the day after that.”
“I’m sorry I asked you to marry me as a pretense for buying the bar, Buck. I should’ve…”
I can’t keep standing in front of her without trying something I’ve felt like I wanted to do for as long as I could remember. I’ve fought my instincts. I’ve been consumed by guilt, and a love I know I’ll never be able to fully get over, but I’ve waited the allotted time. I want to be someone’s friend again. I need to feel the touch of another person.
I pull her close to me, giving the inclination that we’re about to hug. Right before her head falls on my chest I stop and peer into those huge eyes I keep getting lost in. “I’d like your permission to kiss you, Perry, not because we’ve spent the past couple days swept up in drama, but because we’ve circled this moment for years and I’m tired of fighting a battle I’ll never be able to win.”
“I’m afraid if I allow it, your worst fears might become a reality. You might actually enjoy it.”
I edge closer. “It’s very likely.”
“Highly probable,” she says as our lips barely brush. Her eyes begin to close and we’re seconds away from taking that leap.
All I have to do is press, just push a millimeter forward to feel her lips caressing mine. She brings her hands down to her sides and laces both with mine. She smells like scotch, but her awareness tells me she’s sober enough to appreciate what’s happening. My words continue teasing her mouth as I keep speaking, taunting, but generally feeling her out first. “Most definitely.”
“For certain,” she follows.
Then it’s silent. Only the sound of the ice machine can be heard in the quiet space. We’re alone. Nothing can stop this from happening, all except for someone knocking on the door.
We break from our position, Perry looking from me to the door. She lets go of my hands and heads toward it. “Don’t move, Buck.”
I’m already turned on. It’s hard not to be. The slightest touch of a woman makes my dick jump. I adjust my pants to prevent further embarrassment only to see her backing away as the person slams his hands into the glass window. Her body jumps, Perry looking to me with an alarmed glance. “It’s Peter.”
“Let the bastard in.” I act like I’m cracking my knuckles. Even though my head wound is healing, the injury is still fresh on my mind.
“You should go in the office first. I don’t want another confrontation.” She takes the baseball bat from under the bar and heads back toward the door, while I remain standing in the same place.
“I’m not going anywhere. If he wants to start with me today, he’s going to get a big surprise. Paybacks are a bitch.”
She cocks her head and tosses a disapproving smirk in my direction. “Don’t. Let me handle this.”
She opens to door, backing away to allow her ex-husband entrance. “You’ve been closed for two days. I thought you might be sick,” he says while handing her a bouquet of flowers. He still hasn’t noticed me standing a few feet away, because he’s got his attention on Perry and has moved to face her so his back is to me. “I came here for a truce.”
“A truce? You must think I’m crazy. I’ll never forgive you.”
“Come on, Alice. Nick needs us to work out our differences. How about the three of us go to dinner? We’ll talk it out over a nice meal. I’ve changed. You’ll see.”
I might be overstepping, but interrupt anyway. “She’s already got plans for tonight.”
Perry chippers up. “That’s right. I’m having dinner with Buck tonight.”
He points in my direction. “This guy again? This is the tool you’re marrying?”
As soon as he says it I can see her cringe. She’s told this douchebag that we’re getting married. I want to be mad, but I can’t blame her, at least not while this guy is threatening her. “Do you have a problem with me?”
“Yeah, as a matter of fact, I do. Did she tell you about her past, or just the parts that made her look like a saint?” He turns to Perry. “Does he know everything, Alice? All the gory details of your past, or am I the only man who holds those buried secrets?” He snarls when he says it, like he has something on her that could ruin her life.
“Shut up, Peter. I’m asking you to go. I’m not interested in having dinner with you, not even for Nick. We’re never going to be cordial. I hate you. You’re a monster.”
I cut in. “I think you should listen to the lady.”
“Look, buddy, I don’t give a shit who you are to Alice. This is the second time you’ve interrupted me with my wife.”
“Ex-wife,” Perry corrects him.
“Whatever. It’s all so technical isn’t it? I mean, lets face it, you’ll always belong to me. If I were you I’d reconsider having that dinner, because it might be the only way your son will ever speak to you again.”
He has mentally knocked her down. She’s falling fast, stumbling on what she can say to force him out.
I shove him in the direction of the door, never backing down. “I’ve got no problem taking you outside and showing you how a southern man protects his woman, but I think you’re a smart guy who likes avoiding conflict.”
He lunges at me, the same time as Brant happens to be coming up the steps to open the door. His baseball cap flies off as he darts inside and attacks Peter from the back. They both fall down, Brant throwing punches to the side of his face. “I got your back, Dad.”
Perry whistles, causing the three of us to freeze. I motion with my head to my oldest son. “I have this, Brant.”
“The hell you do. You’re lucky I stopped by.”
Peter is trying to stand, also searching for a position he can defend himself from two people at the same time. “You’re going to be sorry for this. You messed with the wrong man, hick.”
I chuckle, Brant letting out an air-filled laugh while putting his cap back on his head. My son is a chip off the old block, that’s for sure. “Get out of here before I call the police and they see your record. I’m sure they’d love to throw your ass back in the slammer. Don’t make me say it twice. There’s four more of him where he came from. You mess with one of us, you’ll get the whole crew, and the others don’t fight fair.”
Peter is yelling toward Perry. “You can’t get rid of me. You’ve only made this worse for yourself, Alice. You can thank your new redneck boyfriend for what comes next.” He exits the place, leaving the three of us to stand there wondering how the last five minutes could have possibly been any more of a disaster.
“Jesus Christ, Pop. What’re you getting yourself into these days?”
Perry hurries to the bar, pouring three beers and motioning for us to come sit. She’s halfway through hers by the time we make it to the barstools. Brant’s beside me, waiting for an explanation.
“That was my ex-husband. He just got out of jail. Your dad has been keeping an eye on me, making sure he’s not a threat.”
Brant sips his beer then sits it down to speak. “He needs to work harder. I wouldn’t have let that fucker in the parking lot.”
“We didn’t know he was outside,” I offer. “I had it handled.”
“Well, you can’t blame me for taking over. I saw him as a threat. He’s not from around here, is he?”
“His name is Peter, and no, he’s not from around here. I’d be happy if I never saw him again,” Perry admits.
“I guess you didn’t see the sign saying the bar is closed?” I direct the question to my son, who seems comfortable slowly drinking his beer.
“I must have missed that when I was bursting in to save your ass.”
I pick up my glass and see Perry wink at me, causing me to smile. Whatever the case, I�
��m kind of glad he showed up when he did. It could have gotten uglier. “Whatever. Cheers to assholes and cold brew.”
Perry clanks her glass into mine. “Thanks again, guys. I’ve never had an entourage of protectors before.”
Brant shakes his head. He looks from me to Perry, and I can already tell what he’s thinking about. “So, if the bar was closed, what were the two of you doing in here alone?”
The boys have been ragging on me every chance they get, so I know Brant is aware of a woman having stayed at the house. Now he’s digging, because he thinks the woman could be Perry. I refuse to answer and simply keep drinking, hoping he’ll get the hint and take his nosey ass somewhere else. As much as I enjoy hanging out with my oldest and talking shop, he can’t know what we were about to do before all hell broke loose.
Just when I think the timing is right something gets in the way. Maybe it’s a sign that we shouldn’t even try.
“Take your time, Brant. You weren’t interrupting anything.” I don’t know why she says it, but I’m thinking she might know me a little more than I assume. I’m going to get that kiss. It’s bound to happen. Eventually.
Chapter 10
I need time to breathe, time to reevaluate what the hell is going on with my life, before I can move forward and explore my feelings for Buck, or whatever is happening between us.
I know he pities me. He sees me as a lost soul he needs to help, because it makes him feel less useless. I’m a project for him; something to bide his time. As much as I want to know him more, I also have to be careful. He’s the kind of man I’ve waited my whole life for, and because of that I’m prepared to jump right into something, though my past history with men only warns me I have to approach this relationship differently.
Buck is going to fall hard. He’s liable to go under water and forget to come up for air, because let’s face it, he’s gone without for entirely too long. His body is going to take control and he won’t be able to stop himself. Our situation could be dangerous for both of us. We’re liable to get hurt, and knowing that makes me skeptical whether we should continue at all. He’s fragile, and honestly I’m not the kind of person capable of being able to handle things if it all turns to shit.
Salt Water Wounds (Oyster Cove #1) Page 9