Memories of Surrender (Midrosian Chronicles Book 1)

by Sophie Kisker

  Lydia wanted to ask Bena a thousand questions but the older woman put a finger to Lydia's lips and shook her head. All her questions were forgotten anyway as soon as she sat down on her little bed, feeling wonder at the softness of the sheets. Bena guided her down to the soft pillow and it only took a moment after the blanket was pulled up before she was asleep.

  "Lydia," Bena's voice cut through her deep sleep. "Lydia, I'm sorry, but you need to wake up."

  Lydia blinked her eyes open in confusion. Master had said she should sleep and she really just wanted to stay curled up here. But Bena was persistent, pulling the blanket back and tugging Lydia to a sitting position.

  "What-?" Lydia tried, then swallowed, and Bena just smiled her enigmatic smile and shook her head once more as she efficiently combed out Lydia's hair and re-braided it.

  "You'll be needed downstairs in a little while," was all Bena said. She helped Lydia into a simple white shift, then guided her through brushing her teeth and washing her face. The simple acts seemed to be beyond her ability to complete by herself.

  Bena led her down the stairs. The sunlight's intensity was still strong and every noise filled her mind and erased all thoughts of other things. They entered the kitchen, quieter now between meals, and Bena motioned to a chair at the large table in the center. Didi flashed a smile at her as she sat and brought over a cup of cassa. Lydia accepted it gratefully. Bena squeezed her shoulder and hurried out the door.

  Lydia still didn't know what was going on, but the taste and smell of the cassa pushed every other thought aside and she sipped it in silence. When the doorbell rang, she jumped in fright, almost dropping the steaming cup into her lap. Didi cursed and rescued it just in time.

  A few minutes later Bena returned. "Lydia, Master wishes for you to join him in the study."

  She was strangely unconcerned about what was going on as she followed Bena down the hall. It was as though her brain hadn't quite caught up with her body's release from prison. Lydia knew there were thoughts – important thoughts - she should be thinking about, but her senses were on such overload that managing to navigate the outside world was all she could cope with at the moment.

  The door to the study opened and Lydia saw her master sitting in his usual chair. His intense gaze captured her and held her an immobile prisoner until he motioned to her. She crossed the white carpet, her bare feet silent on the thick fibers. Her sole focus was on him. Her master. The one she loved. For some reason that didn't seem quite right, but she knelt at his feet and bowed her head. The contentment she expected to feel in his presence was missing. She was confused.

  "Lydia," he whispered from above. She raised her head up to look at him, once more captured in his blue eyes. But – the color was wrong. Her master's eyes were brown.

  "Lydia, there's someone here to see you and say goodbye."

  She followed his gaze to the side, where another man stood, framed against the sunlight from the window. His face was in shadow and she squinted, trying to make out his features, but the intensity of the sun behind him was too great and she had to look away. Whoever he was, he wasn't her master, and that's all who mattered.

  Right?

  Then what was so wrong?

  There was long silence and then she heard the sound of footsteps walking away. They stopped.

  "Lydia, I want you to know I will never forget you."

  The voice pierced though her heart, her soul and her mind like a thunderclap. The curtains over her mind fell away and there was daylight. Broad, glorious daylight.

  "James?" she whispered, her voice uncertain. "James?" She swung her head towards the man. Now that he'd moved, she could clearly see his face and she knew without a shred of doubt that there stood the master of her heart and soul. The man she loved. She staggered to her feet, lurching uncertainly, but when he reached out to her, she dropped to her knees, gazing up into his confused eyes. "I knew you'd come!"

  James stared at her, then looked over her head towards the man who used to be the center of her life.

  "Lydia," the older man asked, his voice betraying confusion, "who is your master?"

  She looked down and fidgeted with her hands for a long moment as the men waited silently for her response. Gathering her courage, she looked up and over her shoulder to him. She struggled to control the emotion in her voice. "Sir, James is the master I will always love."

  She saw Duruma throw a glance at Bena, who smiled the tiniest of smiles. He tented his hands under his chin and closed his eyes. The room was quiet, even the air waiting expectantly on his next words.

  "Lydia, would it make you happy to have James as your master?"

  She stood up slowly, finding the strength to stand on her feet now, and walked over to his chair to kneel again. Picking up one of his hands, she nuzzled it against her cheek. "Sir, you've been so good to me over the years, and I know I'm lucky to have been owned by you. I'm so sorry if I've disappointed you, but, yes, my happiness lies with James as my master."

  He leaned over and kissed the top of her head. "If you've somehow imprinted to him, I can't keep you, as much as I love you and am going to miss you. Go with my blessing. I'll get all the papers arranged."

  Joy swept her heart. The intense sunlight that had flooded through the windows and overwhelmed her senses now seemed to proclaim the brightness of her future. She stood up once more. "Thank you, sir."

  She turned back to James, who pulled her into his arms with a stunned look on his face.

  The paperwork took a while to finish, so Lydia had time to pack her meager belongings and say goodbye to the women who were her family. As sad as she was to leave them, she was so giddy that she floated through the kisses and hugs. She gave an especially long hug to Bena.

  "Thank you, for everything. Will he be really angry at you?"

  "Don't worry about me. He and I have our understanding. I disobey him, he punishes me to remind us both who's in charge, and the world is right again." She pulled back to look into Lydia's eyes. "For women like you and me, when we find the right man, submitting to him isn't a struggle. Being owned by him can bring great joy."

  "I'll see you again, I promise." She let the woman go and they walked back down to the study where James was signing the last signature. She was pulled into a bear hug by her old master – strange to think of him that way – and he held her there for a long moment before he released her to James' waiting hand.

  Then they were out the door and in the autocar. Raym plugged in the address of the hotel and the vehicle took off soundlessly.

  "Well, I own a slave. This is really, really weird." James was leaning back in the seat, holding Lydia on his lap. She buried her face in his chest.

  "Lydia, are you really okay?"

  She nodded without lifting her head. "It's just that everything is a little overwhelming, sir. The re-imprinting, well, it's very, very, quiet and mostly dark." And painful, and cold, and frightening, and a thousand other things I don't want to talk about right now.

  "I'm going to take care of you, I promise." He stroked her arm and the touch was warm and reassuring.

  She looked up at his face. "Are you really a Midrosian citizen now, sir?"

  She saw him exchange glances with Raym. "It was the only way I could legally do this. But Lydia, there's something I need to tell you. I want us to leave Midros. For good."

  She sat up to look at him directly. "All right."

  He raised his eyebrows. "Just like that? No concerns?"

  "One thing I had during the last two weeks was enough time to think of anything I wanted to. I thought a lot about what living as a free woman might be, and I really want that, sir. Besides, the part of me that is a slave wouldn't dare disagree with what her master has decided." She gave him a wisp of a smile.

  "Hmm. I think there's a long conversation in our future about this. But right now, Raym thinks there's another concern."

  She turned to look at James' friend, almost having forgotten he was with them. She couldn't lo
ok him in the face at all. The re- imprinting?

  "Lydia," he said, "it's really rare for slaves to be taken off the planet because some slaves just don't do well in space."

  "What do you mean, sir?" It was hard to talk to him, too.

  "At least half of them develop nightmares a day or two away from Midros. The nightmares continue and sometimes become hallucinations, and often incapacitate the slave for the entire trip. And it doesn't get better when they get back here. Some slaves have had to be dosed with Oblita to give them relief. We don't know why it happens, but sometimes they're just too fragile to endure something as difficult as space travel. If that happened, and you weren't coming back, I'm not sure how James would fix that."

  James made a noise of disgust in his throat. "Too fragile to sit around for five days, eating and watching vids?"

  "I'm just telling you what's happened, okay? I've seen it, and it isn't pretty."

  "We're not staying here."

  "Why not? You can do whatever you want in the privacy of your own home."

  Lydia and James exchanged looks. There were some things she'd never be safe from if she was here.

  "Lydia," James asked, "are you willing to risk whatever happens in space?"

  "Yes, sir. Please."

  "There's another concern." Raym was persistent.

  "What now, Raym?" James sounded annoyed.

  "If they have reason to suspect you aren't coming back, they might make it a little difficult to buy tickets. It's not against the law, but it's just really frowned upon to leave, with a slave, for good. " He paused. "There's an alternative. Take my ship."

  "Your ship?"

  "Yes. Tell them you're going to go back to your planet to pack up and move. It sounds reasonable and they would never expect that you wouldn't be bringing my ship back."

  "But I'm not. I can't keep your ship!"

  "Just a little while. I'll make some excuse to leave on a commercial flight and meet you someplace to collect it in a few weeks."

  James nodded and stuck out his hand. "Thanks. For everything."

  Raym took it and they shook. "Hell, I should just give you my ship, with the profits that are about to pour in!"

  Inquiries were made at the hotel concierge desk and remarkably, there was a launch opening in two hours. It was just enough time to pack up James' belongings and eat lunch. Lydia knelt on the patio under the table, and James kept a hand on her shoulder the whole time. She appreciated the touch.

  When they got to the lobby, James gestured for Raym and Lydia to wait for him. He approached the concierge desk. Before he got there, though, his name was called out. A slave hurried out of the gift store with a bag that she thrust into his hands. "I thought you'd left and forgotten this, sir."

  James took the bag. "Oh. Thank you." He thrust it under his arm, his thoughts still focused on the large man behind the desk and the object James hoped he could acquire.

  "Good afternoon." He casually pulled out a large wad of cash, and just as casually laid it on the desk.

  The concierge's eyes widened. "What can I do for you, sir?"

  "I understand that the hotel keeps a special key on hand for emergencies. A key that unlocks Midrosian slave collars. I'd like to buy that key."

  "Sir! I cannot condone the removal of a slave's collar, ever!"

  "Relax. I'm not going to take the collar off. She's my slave, legal and all, and she'll stay that way. But we're going on a little trip, and I like to be prepared for emergencies. Only emergencies. I just bought her and I'd hate to lose her to something stupid right away."

  The man eyed the cash on the table. James casually added a bill to the pile. Suddenly it was gone.

  "I'll see what I can do. Stay here." He disappeared through a door. A few minutes later he came out and handed James an envelope. James did a quick handshake and rejoined Raym and Lydia.

  "Sir –?"

  "We'll talk about it later."

  The ride to the spaceport outside town was not a long one. They wound around the wide-open plains dotted with private craft until they came to a medium-sized ship. James whistled.

  "I'm in the wrong occupation! It definitely pays to go into Dad's business."

  "Shut up." Raym punched him with a smile.

  It didn't take long to get clearance from the port authorities, though they were skeptical about the wisdom of having Lydia on board. They bought James' story of going home to pack up his stuff and move back to Midros, even commenting that it was no wonder James wanted to settle here, with a slave that pretty. James laughed and agreed, and once the virtual backslapping and winking was done he settled into the pilot's chair. It had been a few years since he'd flown anything, but he'd been pretty good – and Raym's ship was the latest model with all the automatic systems. All James had to do was program in the destination, take his hand off the controls and take a nap until they arrived in three days. They waved Raym off and closed up the hatch, and a moment later, the press of acceleration briefly pinned them to their chairs. It only took a few minutes before they were clear of the atmosphere and Midros receded into the distance.

  The Future is Bright

  Lydia looked out of the small windows, her face alight with wonder.

  "You've never been in space before, have you?" He loved seeing her so excited.

  "No, sir..." she breathed, her gaze still on the star field displayed before her in glorious bursts of light. "Born and raised on Midros."

  It suddenly occurred to him that she may have left someone behind. "Lydia, do you know who your parents are? Are they on Midros?"

  "I don't know where else they'd be, but no, I don't remember them. I don't really remember anything until I was, oh, probably nine or ten. Is that strange, sir?" She turned to look at him now.

  He shrugged and smiled. "Child development isn't a specialty of mine. I'm sure it's normal, though."

  "Maybe they give the girls Oblita to make them forget being removed from their families?"

  The thought staggered him. It would make sense. So much perfect, awful sense.

  "I don't know," he said softly. They watched together for a while, lost in their own thoughts.

  "I guess I do feel a little strange leaving and taking the secret of that room with us," she finally said. "Do you suppose anyone else will ever find it?"

  "Yes; if we found it, someone else will. I just hope it's the right people."

  She turned around to face him. "By the way, where is the diary?"

  "I thought a long time about what to do with it, and decided that if that room was going to stay a secret, the diary needed to stay there with it. It chronicles women's history on Midros and explains how the room came to be, and though we aren't able to do anything to make change, perhaps someone else can, and she'll need it to guide her."

  "I wish we could have done more."

  "Me too." He pulled her into his lap and she leaned back, nestling in his arms.

  "Lydia, I am so, so, sorry for what I said to you back in the hotel room, about being stupid. And I will never forgive myself for hitting you in anger. I was so scared because of what might have happened, but that doesn't excuse what I did. It was so unbelievably wrong."

  She was silent for too many heartbeats before she began to talk. "Never, in all my life, has someone – a man – apologized for saying or doing something to me. What I did was stupid, and I know you were talking about my actions, not me. As for hitting me, well, it wasn't a big deal compared to other times I've been punished."

  He knew she didn't understand that she had a right to not be hit. "That doesn't excuse what I did."

  "James, maybe I don't understand how men and women relate in your world, but I sure don't want to spoil what we have because you can't forgive yourself. I forgive you. Isn't that enough?"

  Was it? Hitting was the wrong way to begin a relationship. Wallowing in guilt wasn't a very good way to begin a relationship, either. He decided to accept the gift she was giving, even if she didn't know why she was givi
ng it.

  "Thank you. Yes. It's enough. More than enough. I hope you will understand someday how much."

  "So are you ready to leave the rest behind?"

  She was still cocooned in his arms. "What do you mean?"

  He fished in his pocket and pulled out a thin metal tube. One end was flattened; the other had a blue light.

  "What's that?"

  He grinned. "A key. To your collar. Would you like to take it off?"

  Her eyes widened and her hand flew to her throat. "I've never had it off since the day Master – my old master – placed it there, when he bought me."

  "You don't have a master anymore. You're free. The moment we left Midros."

  "What about you? Aren't you legally still my master"

  "A slave contract that's enforced off Midros? Not a chance. No other planet in the known universe has slavery."

  She shook her head. "How did I end up so lucky to be born there?" The sarcasm in her voice made him chuckle.

  "So, you ready to get it off?"

  "Yes. Please." She sat up and lifted the braid off the back of her neck. He inserted the narrow end of the tool in a barely visible slit and held it there. The light changed to red, and a seam appeared where there had been none a moment before. He removed the tool, pulled the ends of the collar apart, and slid it off her neck.

  "Wow." Her hand went to her throat. "It feels strange. Empty."

  "Well, get used to it, because you'll never have to wear one again."

  "No. I suppose not." She stared out the window.

  There was a note in her voice he didn't understand. "What's the matter?"

  She shook her head and smiled. "Nothing. Just so many things to get used to."

  "What would you like to do first when we get to Prima?"

  She turned back to him, her excitement visible again. "You live on Prima? Is that where we're going?"

  "Yup. I have a sister there, too. I think you'll like her. She teaches at the university."

  "The University? Really? Ohh..." This time he understood what she wasn't saying.