I Wish You Missed Me

by Bonnie Hearn Hill

  ‘So are we, but we ain’t stalking each other.’ Virgie paused and then added, ‘Maybe she don’t trust you.’

  ‘She has to. She knows how close Farley and I are.’

  ‘Exactly!’ Virgie jabbed a finger at Kit. ‘And that’s the problem. She just don’t know how close you are.’

  ‘That’s ridiculous. He and I decided a long time ago that we make much better friends.’

  Virgie shrugged and stared straight ahead. ‘I still say she’s following you because she thinks you know where he is. He lied to her about going surfing, after all. For all she knows, he didn’t lie to you.’

  ‘Let’s have her explain it.’ She grabbed the phone out of her purse.

  ‘You really want her to know you recognized her?’

  ‘She knows.’ Kit tried to call but couldn’t get a signal. ‘Nothing works up here,’ she said. ‘Let’s just take this road as far as we can.’

  ‘What happens if you get dizzy again?’

  ‘I’ll close my eyes.’

  Kit’s shock seemed to have driven away her anxiety. None of this made sense. Monique cared about Farley – probably loved him – and Kit was sure he cared about her too.

  ‘Why would he tell her to meet him in Malibu?’

  ‘They’re working together and, from what you said, practically living together.’ Virgie slowed the car as the curving road became narrower. ‘Why don’t they just drive down to Malibu in the same car?’

  Her words started to make sense. ‘OK,’ Kit said. ‘He lied to all of us and said he was going surfing. Instead he came up here.’

  ‘With a vest, some allergy medicine and that bottle of expensive port. I’m telling you, she thinks you know where he is. Kit, the woman has been following you since before we even knew Farley was missing.’

  Kit began to put the pieces together. This wasn’t Monique the spoiled station owner’s daughter with the flawless face and the excellent taste in interior design. If this woman really had been following her the entire time, she wasn’t just looking for Farley. She was stalking him.

  ‘She’s probably the one who broke into my place.’

  ‘And his after we broke in that day.’

  ‘She said she didn’t have a key.’ Kit shook her head at her own vulnerability. ‘But of course she would say that.’

  Virgie flashed her a tight smile. ‘Don’t necessarily need a key to break into that place.’

  At the top of the hill the road slanted down one side and, without asking, Virgie headed down it.

  ‘I think that van’s long gone,’ she said. ‘I hate to say this, Kit, but you’ve got to call John Paul.’

  ‘If I do that he’ll take charge again, the way he always does.’

  ‘At this point, who cares?’

  They drove a few more miles of road, and Kit said, ‘I care. I’m willing to work with him but he’s not willing to work with me and, frankly, I think we’re closer to finding Farley than he is.’

  ‘He still needs to know about Monique. She might be watching him too for all we know.’

  Virgie was right. What they had just found out mattered more than her problems with John Paul. Monique was stalking her. She was probably going everywhere they had been – the roadside stand, Jonas Case’s school. That was it!

  ‘I have another idea.’

  ‘Let me guess,’ Virgie said. ‘One that will keep you from talking to John Paul.’

  Kit couldn’t help smiling. ‘You know me too well.’

  ‘I know that man is one of the few people you let get to you.’

  Her cheeks burned and she didn’t try to deny it. Instead, she turned to Virgie. ‘What if we talked to Jonas again?’

  She made a face. ‘Like he’d talk to us?’

  ‘He might,’ Kit said, ‘if we tell him about Monique. You know she’s probably tried to talk to him too.’

  ‘What if he brings out that gun again? These people out here are like the old West.’

  ‘He won’t,’ Kit said. ‘He didn’t like doing it the first night we broke into his garage. By now he’s got to know we aren’t dangerous.’

  ‘Don’t you remember any of those lectures they gave us at the shelter?’ she asked. ‘Like the definition of insanity, for instance?’

  ‘Doing the same thing and expecting different results?’ Kit said. ‘Attributed to everyone from Benjamin Franklin to Einstein. This isn’t the same thing. It’s sharing news Jonas needs to be aware of.’

  Virgie gripped the wheel as the curves of the road became wider and slower. Finally she said, ‘I have a bad feeling about him.’

  ‘You mean because he doesn’t dress, look or act like your typical professor?’

  ‘He talks the talk,’ Virgie said, ‘but he was checking you out.’

  Kit squirmed in her seat. ‘I don’t think so.’ Yet Jonas had pulled his chair so close to hers that she could smell the wine on his breath. Something about him did make her self-conscious.

  ‘Checking out your legs. You still want to go back there?’

  ‘No, I don’t.’ Kit watched the trees settle down to eye level again. ‘But I’m going to.’

  ‘And after that?’ Virgie asked in that flat, noncommittal voice.

  ‘I’ll tell John Paul about Monique.’

  TWENTY-TWO

  Megan had done it again. As usual, she had stayed too long for tea with Jonas. Each time they met, being there – across the table from him or watching him work on the guitars in the barn – seemed natural and right. Tonight, she could barely keep herself from telling him the truth about hiding Farley’s phone and about Kit Doyle finding it. She had lied to Will once he had arrived at the stand right after Kit and her friend left. But Will was getting quieter, more secretive, and Megan had no idea what he really knew or suspected.

  After parking the truck, she started toward the back way, the night quiet except for the cooing of the mourning doves. The air was as clean as she could remember. It smelled of hope. The gnarled path toward their shelter would take only a few minutes.

  Megan stopped and took a deep breath. Then she touched her lips where Jonas had kissed her. Only once. Only softly. Without a word. Yet, without speaking, they said it all. Finally, she trusted someone enough to share the truth. Now that Kit Doyle had Farley’s phone, Jonas needed to know. But then he would ask how it got to the fruit stand and she would have to tell him that she disobeyed Will when he told her to destroy it.

  ‘You can tell me anything. I won’t let anyone hurt you.’ She could still hear his voice, the way it sounded the moment before he kissed her.

  Maybe it was time to trust someone.

  ‘There you are.’

  Branches snapped behind her and she jumped.

  Will stepped out from behind a tree, his teeth white even in the twilight. She didn’t trust the smile any more than she trusted his unexpected presence here.

  ‘What’s wrong?’ she asked.

  ‘No worries.’ He took her arm and led her toward the camp. ‘I know how easily you lose your way after dark.’

  ‘My night vision is fine.’

  ‘I’m not talking about your vision, Megs. I’m talking about losing your way.’ He held on tighter and she decided not to fight it.

  A screech from the trees sent chills along her arms. ‘What was that?’

  ‘Just an owl. They do that to scare the rodents into moving. If they stay still, the owls can’t see them.’ He traced a finger down her neck and she shivered again. ‘You’re awfully jumpy.’

  ‘I’m fine.’

  ‘So where have you been?’

  ‘Nowhere.’

  ‘As long as you’re breathing, you’re somewhere.’ He pulled her closer and Megan stumbled on the path.

  ‘Well, last I checked, I was breathing. Would you slow down?’

  ‘No. You speed up. There’s another storm coming.’

  She tried, although her skirt caught in her shoes. At least the camp was close now. ‘I can’t go any faster,’ s
he said. ‘Besides, the sky looks clear enough.’

  He seemed to slow reluctantly, and Megan thought of the boys she had gone to elementary school with who shoved their heavy shoes on the back of the heels of anyone they could bully.

  ‘Where were you anyway?’ Will asked in his doctor voice, the voice that said she owed him an answer.

  She recited what she had mentally rehearsed. ‘Helping Priscilla clean up the stand.’

  ‘Interesting.’ He studied her as if he were seeing her for the first time. She started to feel frightened but remembered what Jonas had told her. You are worthy.

  ‘Seems to be taking you longer and longer, these sessions with Priscilla.’

  ‘She’s pregnant, Will. And I’m grateful to her and Michael.’

  ‘Don’t forget that I’m helping them too – and in a major way, I’d say. Without me, do you know where this camp would be right now?’

  ‘Of course. I’m glad you’re doing the right thing.’

  ‘I’m sorry I couldn’t get there any sooner today. You never saw who broke in?’

  She shook her head. ‘Probably just vandals. They got away before I got a good look at them.’

  He gazed down at her face, right at her lips. ‘Who would vandalize a roadside stand?’

  ‘Beats me.’

  As they crossed the tiny creek that led to the camp, she wiggled out of his grasp and picked up her skirt.

  He pressed his lips into her hair and inhaled.

  ‘You smell different,’ he said.

  ‘Like blueberries?’ She giggled to distract him, but he leaned in again anyway.

  ‘Gritty or something.’

  ‘Gritty?’

  He stopped on the other side of the creek. ‘Like sawdust. Look. You’ve got some on your shoulder.’

  She forced herself to chuckle. Soon they would be back with Priscilla, Michael and the others. Soon, none of his veiled accusations would matter.

  ‘I don’t see anything. How would you know sawdust anyway?’

  He scrunched up his nose and his eyes narrowed. ‘My dad was a contractor. That’s how he put me through medical school.’

  He had changed it from pre-med, had changed it from dropping out of college, but she didn’t dare go there in this or any conversation. If she did, he would remind her that she was raised in an apartment above the movie theater in Corcoran, California, where her dad was serving time. He’d mention her mom, who left Megan and her brother and her alone so she could work at the beer bar on Whitley Avenue. This was the dance they did, Will and her. He was almost a doctor, and she was almost like Priscilla and the others here.

  ‘What are you thinking that makes you look so sad?’

  ‘Oh, I’m not sad,’ she told him. ‘Just glad to be back home.’

  She moved toward the flickering lights and felt almost physical warmth pulling her in to where the others waited. If she screamed now, someone would hear her. Someone would come.

  Will touched her arm again, lightly, almost playfully this time. ‘If you like it here why are you gone so much?’

  She gazed up and realized she was looking into the eyes of a stranger. ‘I want to do my part, just like you.’

  ‘As if we’re equals?’

  ‘That’s not what I mean.’

  ‘What do you mean?’ He rested his hands on her shoulders and squeezed until she had to catch her breath. ‘And why do you stay away so often at night now? If I found out you lied to me, I don’t know what I’d do.’

  ‘Will, I don’t lie to you. I wouldn’t.’

  A light snaked toward them on the ground. Priscilla’s flashlight. She always waited nearby until Megan was back. Michael wouldn’t be far behind.

  ‘A very good answer.’ Will’s voice was short and clipped. He glanced down at the light. ‘We seem to have company. Keep your voice low.’

  ‘It’s probably just Priscilla,’ she whispered.

  ‘Maybe.’ He pulled her back into the shadows. ‘Let’s not take any chances, though.’

  TWENTY-THREE

  Even after Kit’s phone was able to receive a signal again, Monique would not answer her calls. Neither would Jonas. She and Virgie stopped by his cabin anyway, but his car was gone and he didn’t answer the door.

  On the way back, they passed a stack of stones that had not been on the side of the road before.

  ‘What’s that?’ she asked Virgie. ‘Some kind of memorial?’

  Virgie parked the car and they got out and walked over for a closer look.

  ‘I don’t think so.’ Virgie reached out and touched one of the rocks. ‘It’s probably a message for hikers that they’re going in the right direction. There’s some fancy Gaelic word for it but I just think of it as mountain road signs.’

  ‘Beats the graffiti at home,’ Kit said.

  They got back in the car. ‘Remember that day we broke into Farley’s?’ Virgie asked. ‘You was so upset about that graffiti outside the shelter that I thought you might fall apart right there.’

  I wish you missed me. That’s what had been written on the wall in the alley.

  ‘It seems like years ago now. I just thought it was incredibly sad that someone could write that.’

  ‘We’ve all been there.’ Virgie took the final turn that led to their motel. After she parked, they got out of the car and walked through the light mist toward their room. ‘You know,’ Virgie said, ‘it’s kind of like Monique and Farley.’

  ‘Except she does miss him,’ Kit said.

  ‘But he don’t miss her.’ Virgie kicked a pine cone out of the path and studied Kit. ‘That’s it, you know. She hasn’t done everything she has, including stalk you, because Farley loves her.’

  ‘But because he doesn’t,’ Kit finished.

  ‘And now?’ Virgie grinned. ‘Are you ready to tell John Paul she’s here?’

  ‘I guess I have no choice.’

  It wasn’t going to be easy. As always, part of her hoped they could share information but that wasn’t going to happen. He’d already proven that, and as she and Virgie had discussed, expecting anything different was the definition of insanity. But John Paul picked up and she told him that Megan had said Farley was still alive. She’d save the rest for when they met.

  The sun was just starting to set when he arrived at the motel. When he got out of his truck, she tried to read his thoughts, but as he walked toward her and the sun glinted on his skin, she saw him only as a tall, handsome man whose scowl disappeared when their eyes met. Then the moment was gone and her only hope was that they could help each other.

  ‘I had an idea,’ he said. ‘There’s a brewery about thirty minutes from here. Why don’t we have dinner there?’

  ‘Maybe we should go somewhere closer.’ She climbed into the truck. ‘I really need to talk to you.’

  ‘Down the hill then,’ he said. ‘There’s a breakfast place that stays open until ten o’clock. It has an outside patio.’

  ‘I know the place.’ She sighed and told herself she just needed to get through this. John Paul was the professional and he needed to know.

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘Monique. She’s the one in the van, John Paul.’

  He turned off the ignition. ‘Are you sure?’

  ‘I recognized the van before I saw her. It has a weird flat front.’ He nodded as if to encourage her to keep talking. ‘Then Virgie pulled off the road to let her pass and I got a glimpse of her face.’

  ‘Did she see you?’

  ‘I know she did, and she isn’t taking my calls now.’ Kit knew she needed to slow down but his questions seemed to come too fast.

  ‘Where were you?’

  ‘I’d have to show you. Up a hill with very few turnouts. That’s how we managed to see her.’ She needed to vary the exchange of questions and answers. ‘What about you? I know you’ve found out more than you’ve shared with me.’

  ‘I’d like to know where that hill is.’

  ‘I’ll show you in the daytime once
you tell me what you know.’ She turned and faced him in the seat. ‘You realize what this means? Monique has no idea where Farley is and she thinks I do.’

  He nodded. ‘She’s not the only one.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘It’s natural to assume he’d tell his best friend where he was heading.’

  ‘But you’re one of his best friends.’

  ‘I’m a buddy,’ he said. ‘A work buddy and sometimes a drinking buddy. Not like you two.’

  ‘John Paul.’ She reached out for his arm and then hesitated. ‘Did you ever think, for one minute, that I had any idea where Farley is?’

  ‘No, never. I watched your face the night I told you. No way could you fake that kind of fear.’

  Watched her face, not saw her face, as if waiting for the truth to reveal itself.

  She pulled her hand away. ‘Watched me how?’

  ‘From the moment you called me that night and said you were being followed, I thought that the van had something to do with Farley.’ He leaned back in the seat and crossed his arms.

  ‘But you suspected that I knew something about what happened.’

  ‘Monique said he told you everything and that you’d protect him, no matter what.’

  ‘You think she’d figure out that if I knew I’d have gone straight to him.’

  ‘Exactly.’ In spite of his casual tone, he seemed to wait for a reaction. ‘You wouldn’t have wasted your time with that broken-down camp or Jonas Case.’

  Kit fought the impulse to lash out at him. ‘So you know I spoke to Jonas.’

  ‘It wasn’t that difficult. Besides, I don’t want to keep anything from you now.’

  She felt herself exhale. If only he meant it. ‘I feel the same way. What else do you know?’

  ‘That Monique was lying from the start. That’s why I didn’t want you to go to the station that Sunday. I wanted to keep talking to her, trying to get her to mess up the way liars do if you keep asking sequential questions.’

  ‘But how did you know?’

  ‘Because I can spot a liar.’ He turned so that they faced each other in the seat, and for a moment, in the hazy light, his features seemed magnified, almost fierce. ‘I guessed that Farley hadn’t invited her to go with him. He was trying to get away from the woman.’