[2014] Dog Day Wedding

by Rich Amooi

  “No problem.”

  At least he hoped it wouldn’t be a problem. You never know what can happen when alcohol is involved.

  Chapter Eight

  Natalie had fallen asleep immediately on Giovanni’s shoulder after she got in the car. He’d ordered Stevie and Danny to be quiet on the drive home and it was the most peace he’d had with those two since he met them in elementary school. But now it was time to wake the princess up and get her inside the house.

  Stevie pulled in Giovanni’s driveway.

  Giovanni let out a deep breath. “Crap.”

  “What?” said Danny.

  He pointed to the front door where two people were waiting. “Look.”

  Giovanni's parents.

  “Shit,” said Danny.

  “Danny, help me get her out.”

  Danny got out and ran around to the other side to open the back door.

  Giovanni lifted Natalie’s head gently from his shoulder. “Let’s go, Sleeping Beauty.” He grabbed her purse from the floor of the car and slid Natalie out, with Danny’s help.

  She opened her eyes and came to life. “Waffles with warm syrup.”

  Giovanni smiled. “I love waffles.”

  Eleonora rushed to the car, followed closely by Alfonso. “What in the . . . where did you get this woman from? Did you find her?”

  “Yes, Mom. I found her. Right next to a couple of pennies on the ground. What kind of a ridiculous question is that?”

  “Mom?” said Natalie. “This is your mother, Giovanni? Oh, how cuuuuuuute. You have a mother, I forgot! Hey, please don’t call your son names. He’s a genius!”

  Eleonora ignored Natalie and spoke directly to Giovanni. “Well, at least you know each other and you’re trying to find another suitable mate. Good. Time is ticking. Is she fertile?”

  “As fertile as a rabbit!” said Natalie.

  “You need to marry this girl before she gets away like the others.”

  Natalie ran her fingers through Giovanni’s hair. “Yes, let’s get married!”

  Giovanni removed her hand. “I’m not going to marry you.”

  Eleonora poked Giovanni in the chest. “How many times do I have to tell you to quit being a pansy?”

  “Eleonora, please,” said Alfonso.

  “Go to the car, Alfie, before I castrate you.”

  Alfonso walked to the car with his head down. Giovanni admired his father for putting up with his mother for all these years. Alfonso was probably the most discreet and quiet man Giovanni knew. Just the opposite of Eleonora.

  “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,” said Natalie. “Your mother called you a pansy!” She stood up semi-straight and pushed herself out of the arms of Giovanni. She wobbled, trying to focus on Eleonora. “I ought to arrest you for public bitchiness!”

  “There’s no such thing.”

  Natalie gave Eleonora the stink eye. “Yeah? Well, you just wait for the next election. I’ll make sure it’s on the ballot. How do you like them apples?” She poked Eleonora in the chest. “Huh? How do you like them?”

  “Ha!” said Stevie. “I like this woman and I’d pay top dollar to see a cat fight.”

  “Everyone, please leave,” said Giovanni.

  “Okay,” said Natalie, trying to wobble away.

  Giovanni grabbed her and held on. “Not you. I’m taking you inside.”

  She made a pouty face. “Why don’t you want to marry me?”

  Eleonora stood there with her hands on her hips. “Yes, Giovanni Roma. Why don’t you want to marry this beautiful fertile woman? There’s an open offer on the table. Take it.”

  “Like the last one? Look how well that worked! This is not one of your real estate transactions. Life doesn’t work that way.”

  “I want grandchildren!”

  Natalie held her hand up. “I’m a fertile rabbit! Will you marry me? Me-ooooooow.”

  Alfonso rolled down the window of the car. “Please, Eleonora, let’s go.”

  Eleonora pointed her finger at Alfonso and scowled. “Castration, Alfie!”

  Alfonso sighed and rolled the window back up.

  “Everyone,” said Giovanni. “Leave. Now.”

  Eleonora sighed and walked to her car. “This is not over!”

  “Believe me, I know!” said Giovanni.

  He held on to Natalie’s side and walked her to the front door. He didn’t look back as he heard the cars leaving.

  He was going to knock on the door but remembered that Federico was at his book club meeting. “I need to get your keys out of your purse. You have keys, right?”

  “Of course! They’re the ones that look like . . . keys!”

  Giovanni laughed. “Good to know.”

  He kept her upright with one arm and used his free hand to reach into the purse to grab the keys. He didn’t like to see her this way but it felt good to help her. Heck, it felt good to hold her, too.

  He got her in the house and into the guest bedroom. The room smelled like her. Fresh. Pretty. He liked that smell. A lot. He flicked on the light and led her toward the queen-sized bed.

  “Beddy bye time!” She collapsed on the bed facedown.

  Giovanni rolled her over, careful not to cop an accidental feel. He gently slid her shoes off. Cute feet with pink toenails. He pulled the comforter from one side of the bed and slid it over the top of her so she was covered. Then he tucked it in along the side of her body, from her feet all the way up to her neck.

  “So this is what a burrito feels like. I like this, I’m very comfy. You’re very sweet, Giovanni Roma. Are you sure you don’t want to marry me?”

  She looked like an angel lying there. Sure, a drunk angel, but still. And he loved her jasmine smell.

  If she wasn’t engaged and drunk maybe he would have taken her up on the offer. She was a thousand times more down-to-earth than the women from his last two failed relationships.

  But no. It wasn’t going to happen, obviously.

  She was drunk. And even more importantly, she was engaged.

  He tucked her in a little more and forced a smile. “You are already getting married. To someone else.”

  She lost her smile. “Well . . . you’re more fun!”

  She untucked her arms from the comforter, caught Giovanni by the back of the neck, pulled him down, and kissed him on the lips. A lingering kiss.

  Then she collapsed back down to the bed and started snoring.

  Giovanni brushed the hair away from her face. “You are one amazing woman, Natalie. Amazing. Too bad your fiancé doesn’t realize what he’s got.”

  Maybe that’s why she drank so much.

  The next morning, Natalie sat on the back porch with a cup of coffee watching the hummingbirds drink from the red feeder. The hangover was a bitch. The pounding in her head had only just started to go away and Federico’s peaceful backyard was helping. She took a deep breath and enjoyed the morning air. Another sip of coffee and her phone rang. So much for peace and quiet.

  She picked up her phone and checked the caller ID.

  Rebecca.

  Although she didn’t feel like talking, Natalie didn’t remember much about last night so Rebecca could fill her in. Hopefully she didn’t make a fool of herself.

  She answered. “Please tell me I didn’t dance on the tables last night or anything like that.”

  Rebecca laughed. “No, no. Nothing like that.”

  “Thank God.”

  “It was much worse.”

  Fudge! “Tell me. What happened?”

  “Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.”

  Natalie took another sip of coffee. “Please don’t tell me that. I don’t even remember how I got home.”

  “Ahhh. Well, that ride was courtesy of Prince Charming with the amazing hands.”

  What the hell was she talking about? And who the hell was Prince Charming?

  “Okay, I guess you were more trashed than I thought. You don’t remember seeing Giovanni last night?”

  “Giovanni?�
�� Natalie hesitated and tried to focus on the details of last night. “Uh . . .”

  “So then you definitely don’t remember being all googly-eyed over him and touching his hands?”

  “Touching his—”

  “You were rubbing your face with his hands. You may have even had an orgasm.”

  “Very funny.”

  “I’m serious! The way you were going on, I thought you were going to drop his hands a little bit lower.”

  “Shit. I can’t believe I—” Natalie watched as Precious approached her in the yard, wagging her tail. “Precious?”

  What was the dog doing there?

  “No, it’s me, Rebecca. Are you still drunk?”

  “No, I’m not still drunk. Giovanni's dog Precious is in our yard.”

  “You know what that means, right?”

  “No.”

  “Prince Charming won’t be far behind her.”

  Natalie whipped her head toward the fence to see if Giovanni was coming in. Thank God, no. She knew she looked like hell so she didn’t want to be seen. And after last night’s performance, maybe she needed to hide from him for the rest of her life.

  “Arf!”

  “No, Precious, don’t do that,” she whispered. “We don’t want Giovanni to know you’re here.”

  “Arf! Arf!”

  “Okay, Rebecca, I need to go. Chat with you later.”

  Natalie disconnected. Precious continued to bark.

  “Shhh!” She petted her and tried to calm her down. Did she want to play? Maybe she was hungry.

  “Arf!”

  “Precious?” came a yell from the other side of the fence. “Where are you? Come here, girl!”

  Fudge!

  Natalie kept her head down and snuck behind the barbecue. Precious followed her and Natalie tried to push her away. Not gonna happen.

  The dog began to lick Natalie’s fingers and she giggled. “Precious, that tickles. Don’t do that. And shoo! Giovanni is coming and I look like death!”

  “Precious?” yelled Giovanni.

  “Arf!”

  “Are you over in Federico’s yard? Ah, the gate is open—that would explain it.”

  Natalie peeked toward the fence and saw Giovanni approaching—she crouched down even further. How mature. A grown woman, a cop, hiding behind a barbecue. Now if only Precious would move in his direction maybe he wouldn’t catch her acting like a five-year-old.

  “Come here,” said Giovanni. “What are you doing over here? I—”

  You what? What was he doing?

  Natalie didn’t want to peek because she knew Giovanni was only a few feet away. But what happened? Why did he stop talking? The curiosity was driving her mad. She couldn’t hear him moving, breathing, nothing. The only sound was a distant lawn mower. Did Giovanni and Precious just disappear?

  “You shouldn’t be over here,” said Giovanni. “I don’t think Federico wants poop in his yard and Natalie is probably sleeping after what she did last night. We don’t want to wake up Sleeping Beauty, do we?”

  “Arf!”

  Sleeping Beauty?

  Did he really think she was beautiful or was that sarcasm? Natalie wanted to see his facial expression.

  “Okay, it wouldn’t be so bad to see Natalie, but she’s probably passed out where I left her, still tucked in her beautiful bed under her purple comforter. All cozy. Snoring like a hippopotamus.”

  Hold up. Wait a minute. Back up! Forget about the hippopotamus comment—I’ve been called worse. What did he say before that? She’s passed out where I left her?

  Had he been in her bedroom? Did he tuck her in? Obviously he did; he knew the color of her comforter. Not being able to remember what happened last night was enough to almost make her break out in hives. But the thought of him tucking her in sounded nice, too.

  Ahhh!

  She felt so conflicted.

  “You need to quit licking my face like that, Precious. I am not that kind of guy.”

  Too bad.

  “Okay, let’s go,” said Giovanni.

  Natalie heard the crunch of leaves on the grass moving farther and farther away, followed by the sound of the gate closing. She waited until she heard them go inside Giovanni’s house and close the side door before she stood up and went inside. At least he hadn’t seen her.

  She went inside to get ready for her shift. Having to work the day after a bachelorette party was certainly poor planning on her part but maybe she would feel better once she got moving and her blood was circulating.

  She felt guilty, though. She was going to be getting married soon and her thoughts were not on the groom. Jacks didn’t call last night to check in on her and still hadn’t called this morning. This was the first time she’d thought of him this morning because her thoughts were on another man.

  Giovanni.

  Not good.

  Chapter Nine

  Giovanni laced up his shoes and left the house for an afternoon walk with Precious. He had to admit he was enjoying the dog’s company. She was cute and funny. And she distracted him when he didn’t want to think about his debacle of a love life and his poor choice of women.

  Hopefully, he could put in a few miles before getting back to work on James’ guitar.

  After the first mile Precious was still right by his side, keeping pace with Giovanni.

  What a cool companion!

  He turned the corner and spotted a cop car parked in front of Pizza My Heart. His heart rate sped up. Was it Natalie? He glanced inside the open window of the cop car as he passed it.

  It was a male cop. Nice try.

  He shouldn’t be thinking about Natalie anyway. Although he couldn’t help but smile when he thought of her hiding behind the barbecue. He really had wanted to say something, but figured she was embarrassed about last night.

  Giovanni made a left on Main Street and passed Le Boulanger and the Los Gatos Coffee Roasting Company. Precious coughed a few times and pulled toward the water bowl sitting on the sidewalk directly in front of Village House of Books.

  Hairball?

  No, wait—hairballs were for cats. She took a few sips of the water and looked content—smiling up at Giovanni.

  He reached down to pet her on the head. “Better?”

  She licked his hand.

  I guess that’s a yes!

  Giovanni crossed the bridge over Highway 17 and stopped again.

  This time for Natalie.

  She was writing a ticket for a motorcycle parked on the sidewalk. He couldn’t pass up the opportunity to say something, but needed to think of something to say.

  “Arf!”

  Great. So much for waiting for the right moment.

  Natalie turned around and looked down at Precious. Her eyes traveled from the dog right up Giovanni's legs, pausing on his chest, then continued to his face, where he was greeted with what seemed to be a forced smile. Yeah. She was probably embarrassed.

  But he was pretty sure she was checking him out!

  Yeah. In my dreams.

  Precious pulled in her direction—obviously recognizing Natalie—and Giovanni moved with her until he was face to face with Natalie.

  “I know you’ve been trying to avoid me,” he said.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  She placed her hands on her hips and struck what she probably thought was an intimidating pose. Ha! That wasn’t going to work on him anymore. He was getting to know her pretty well.

  Giovanni smiled. “No barbecues to hide behind downtown.”

  Natalie opened her mouth then closed it.

  “What? You really didn’t think I could see you?”

  She shrugged. “Okay, you got me.”

  “You got that right.”

  “I was embarrassed.”

  Giovanni nodded. “I figured as much with your impression of Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Honestly, I probably wouldn’t have noticed if it wasn’t for your cup of coffee and slippers on the deck and the fact that the bar
becue had brown hair growing out of the back.”

  “That’s the last time I play hide and seek with you.”

  Giovanni laughed. “You’ve recovered then? I’m surprised you’re actually working today.”

  Natalie nodded. “Yeah. Don’t know what I was thinking. Physically, I’m doing better than expected. Mentally, not so much. I certainly wasn’t on my best behavior.” She avoided eye contact with Giovanni. “My friend Rebecca told me I did a few . . . embarrassing things. One of them involved your hands or something like that.”

  He wasn’t going to complain about how many times she grabbed him. Her hands were soft. So were her lips.

  Giovanni grinned. “And those are just the things you did when Rebecca was around. Imagine how crazy you got when you and I were alone.”

  She looked up and wrinkled her nose. “Do I want to know?”

  “You probably wouldn’t believe it.”

  “Give me a sample. At least so I know if I should move to a different city and change my name.”

  “Okay, which do you want to know first? The part where you proposed to me in front of my parents or the part where you kissed me on the bed?”

  Giovanni couldn’t identify the color of Natalie’s face. If he were to make up a color he would say it was shocked tomato.

  “Please tell me you’re joking,” she said.

  “I’m sorry, I just can’t do that. The last time I lied you threatened to arrest me.”

  She stood there in silence.

  “You’ve helped me out when I was about to break the law on a couple of occasions, but I actually helped you, too.”

  “How?” she asked.

  “Being married to two people is against the law so I respectfully declined your proposal.”

  “How noble of you.”

  She bit her lower lip and fidgeted with her holster.

  Poor girl. He didn’t want her to suffer so he thought he’d help her out and change the subject. “What time do you get off today?”

  “Five.” She cocked her head to the side. “Why? Looking for more ways to embarrass me?”

  “No. It’s just—”

  Giovanni felt his heart rate speed up. He was thinking of asking her out. Not on a date, really. Just to get together.

  Shit.