Chad tilted his head and gave Alex a knowing look, the same look his own dad used to give him when he was alive.
Alex scowled. "Okay. I'm not fine. I feel like I'm going to puke. Happy?"
"Of course not. Is there anything I can do?"
"Like what?"
Good question. Alyssa was always the one who knew what to do when it came to the kids. "Do you want me to go with you to the appointment? I can skip my blog post today."
"You would do that for me?"
He put his hand on Alex's shoulder. "Of course."
Alex gave him a strange look. "Thanks, but I'm going with Zoey and her mom."
Chad sighed, relieved. Seeing an ultrasound was too much reality for him. Maybe that was giving Alex anxiety. "Are you worried about seeing the baby?"
Alex looked away. "I dunno."
"I'll never forget when I first saw your sister and you on the screen. It was amazing and terrifying at the same time."
"Really?" Alex turned to him, looking somewhat relieved himself. "You felt that way? Both times?"
Chad nodded.
"But weren't you ready for it the second time?"
"Nope. Both times, it freaked me out. I can't tell you how scared I was that I would be in charge of someone's life. I kept a calm face for your mom because she needed my support, but inside I was freaking out."
"How did you deal with it?"
"I went out with the guys and had some beer. Obviously, you can't do that, but we can have some guy time tonight. We could hit the arcade."
Alex looked like he was considering it. "If you'll buy me the unlimited pass."
That was expensive and he had always told Alex he could get the pass one day. "Sure. Today's the day I get it for you. We'll play until you don't want to see another video game again."
"Or until they close."
"Whichever comes first."
"Deal. Thanks, Dad." Alex gave him a hug, surprising Chad.
He hugged Alex back. "My pleasure. I've got some errands to take care of today, so if I'm not here when you get back, I won't be long."
"Okay." Alex left the room.
Chad couldn't help smiling. He had actually handled that pretty well. Alyssa would have been proud, even though she wouldn't have liked Alex playing arcade games for hours on end. The kid deserved it. Chad remembered the stress and reality that those sonograms brought. He couldn't begin to imagine dealing with it at thirteen.
Besides, Alyssa wasn't even there. If she wanted to be involved in these decisions, she shouldn't have run off to her friend's place.
His stomach rumbled and he went back downstairs. The kids were busy on their computers, so he didn't bother them. He grabbed some frozen pancakes and stuck them in the microwave. After eating, he said a quick goodbye and then got in the car, thinking about what he would say to the cops.
Their shifts varied, so he didn't even know if he would be able to talk to the ones he had been working with since Macy disappeared. Even if they were off duty, he would put some pressure on whoever was there.
Chad marched into the station like he belonged there. He ignored the people sitting in the waiting room and walked straight to the front desk.
"Is Detective Fleshman here?"
"He's off duty. Can I help you?"
"How about Officers Anderson or Reynolds?"
"I believe Officer Reynolds is still here. He had a bunch of paperwork after his last—wait a minute. You are?"
"Chad Mercer. They're working with me on the case of my missing daughter."
Recognition washed over his face. "Oh, right. They're still looking for her?"
Chad could hear hushed conversation behind him. "Yes, of course. Will you tell Reynolds that I need to speak with him?"
"Have a seat."
"I'll just stand here." Chad stepped back, keeping watch on the desk.
"Whatever. I'll let him know you're here." The officer got up and disappeared behind a wall.
Chad pulled out his phone and scrolled through his apps, pretending to be involved in a texting conversation. He was all too aware of the stares and whispers. Unfortunately, it had become a regular part of life outside the house. Couldn't people understand he was just a regular guy who happened to have a missing daughter? He was normal, just like them, except for the fact that his heart had been ripped out of his chest and stomped on while the world watched.
"Reynolds will see you. You know where room six is?"
Chad put his phone in his pocket and nodded. He knew where the rooms were and he could find number six since they were all labeled. He went around the desk and down the hall. He would have been happy to have gone his whole life without ever seeing those walls.
He found door number six and went in. It was empty. He paced back and forth before walking around the table several times. He was more than aware of the mirror on the back wall. He was tempted to wave or make a face at whoever might be watching him. Didn't they have rooms without the two-way mirrors for non-criminals?
Tired of walking around, he pulled a chair out and sat down. After a few minutes, Officer Reynolds walked in, wearing his signature hat. "Hey, Chad. I hope you weren't waiting too long. Paperwork is my least favorite part of the job."
"What's going on with the DNA testing?"
"They've yet to get a viable sample." Reynolds sat across from Chad.
"I know that much. What is anyone doing to get one?"
"If the latest test yields nothing, they're going to send her out of state to a more sophisticated lab."
"I knew that, too. More needs to be done. Since they've had such a challenging time getting a good sample, why don't they take more? Run five at a time. Do something."
Reynolds set his hat on the table and looked into Chad's eyes. "We're doing all we can. There are other cases and they can't be ignored."
"Is Macy's case getting pushed back?"
"No. If it wasn't important, they would drop it. It's still a missing child case and that's why it's going outside of the state after this. Macy is still a priority."
"I just want to make sure."
"We haven't moved on."
Chad narrowed his eyes. "I still say more needs to be done."
Meeting
Zoey paced her room, looking out the window every five seconds. Despite all of her protests, she was about to meet her dad—no, her sperm donor. That's all he was. Nothing more. She would take a look into his eyes and see where she got the majority of her looks. She did look like her mom, not that anyone ever noticed because of her coloring.
She looked out the window again. Where were they? Her mom had texted her that they were on their way. Maybe there was traffic. Hopefully they were arguing. That way her mom would make him stay somewhere else.
How dare she invite him to live with them? Neither one of them knew the man. Sure, she had slept with him for a while. Maybe she had even wanted to get pregnant. She always prided herself on being a strong single mom and she knew he was going back to Japan.
Maybe Zoey's anger had been misplaced. Her mom might have been the one who had decided that Zoey didn't need a dad. Who was she to decide that? Just because she didn't want to deal with a husband, and that was incredibly selfish.
She looked around the room and stopped when she saw a small jewelry box her mom had given her years ago. Zoey walked over to it and held it up to the light, looking at the intricate designs. Then she clutched it in her hand and threw it on the hardwood floor, watching it smash into dozens of pieces.
Instead of chewing the sperm donor out, she was going to let them both have it. They had both agreed to the stupid, selfish plan. Did either of them give even one thought to Zoey and what she would have wanted? It didn't look that way. One wanted to get halfway across the world to hit a ball and the other wanted to be the sole decision maker in Zoey's life.
She picked up the last birthday card her mom had given her and ripped into tiny pieces, letting them fall on the floor next to the jewelry box pieces.
Zoey was glad that she had been smoking before getting pregnant—it hit her mom where it hurt. Just like she deserved. Even though Zoey had been dealing with horribly painful headaches among other things since quitting, she was glad she told her mom about her smoking. The look on her face had been worth it.
She was even happier to have gotten pregnant. That hit them both where it hurt. She was sure that neither of them wanted to be grandparents at their age. It was too bad she couldn't do more to make them pay. Although having a pregnant fifteen year old daughter was a pretty good hit.
Zoey heard a car pull into the driveway. The moment of truth was about to arrive. She went to her window and looked down. Sure enough, there was her mom's car with someone in the passenger seat next to her. He even appeared to be wearing a baseball cap. How fitting. Too bad the jerk couldn't play anymore. Then Zoey wouldn't have to deal with him at all.
Should she go down and meet them, or should she make them come up to get her? Zoey looked at the mess on the floor and didn't want to deal with a lecture. Not that she cared if her mom saw what she had broken. Let her, so it would hurt.
Zoey stepped over the mess and made her way down the stairs as slowly as possible. She could hear something downstairs by the door.
"Is that you, Zo?" called her mom.
"No. It's a burglar."
Her mom muttered something, but Zoey was too far away to hear. "Hurry up. Your dad's excited to meet you."
Zoey bit her tongue. There was so much wrong with that sentence she didn't even know where to begin. "Coming." She didn't pick up her pace. She took her time making her way to them. Before she rounded the corner, she flattened her shirt so that her stomach stuck out as much as possible. Usually, she wore the loosest clothing possible, but not today. She wanted her dad to have a good view.
She turned down the hall and walked to the entry, trying not to look at him, but curiosity made her want to look. How much did she look like him? Zoey kept her focus on her mom. "Are we ready for the appointment?"
Valerie scowled. "You have time to meet your dad." She turned to him. "Zoey, this is your dad. Kenji, this is Zoey."
Zoey glanced at him and gave a slight nod of the head. "Hi." She turned back to her mom. "Are we ready? We need to get Alex."
"Would you stop being rude? Give him a proper greeting?"
A proper welcome? Zoey turned to him. She tried to look past him, not taking in his features. "Hi, Kenji. Thanks for not being in my life. It's been awesome."
He opened his mouth, but Valerie spoke up first.
"Zoey!" She turned to Kenji. "I'm so sorry. I knew she might be in a mood, but I didn't expect this."
"Then I guess you don't know me very well, do you? I'm going to get Alex."
"Alex? Wait, we talked about this."
"No, Mom. You talked about it, but you didn't listen to me. Alex is coming with me. He hasn't been to any of my appointments. He deserves to be at this one. You know, he's been involved this whole time."
Kenji made eye contact with Zoey. "I understand this is hard for you. It's going to take time. I should have been involved, but I thought it was best if I didn't. We both did." He looked at Valerie. "I do care about you and hope you'll give me a chance. If you don't want to for a while, I respect that."
"Kenji, don't. She needs to—"
"This is a big adjustment and she has every right to be angry." He turned to look her in the eyes. "If you feel the need to—what the expression?—tell me off, you're more than welcome. Anything you need to say to me is good. Then I hope we can move past it and get to know each other."
Zoey stared at him, feeling deflated. If he knew he deserved to be ripped into, it was going to take half the pleasure out of it. "Maybe I'll take you up on that. I'm going to get Alex. See you in the car."
"Why don't you help us unload the rest of his stuff?" Valerie asked.
"Nope. I'm going to get Alex."
Her mom looked like she was going to explode. Good.
"She's fine," Kenji said.
"No, she's not! Zoey, you better—"
"Zoey, go get your boyfriend. I'll take care of my luggage."
"See you in the car." Zoey walked past them and out the door. Once the door closed behind her, she found herself shaking. She tried to stop, but couldn't. Why not? He was just some guy from the other side of the planet. Nothing to get worked up over. He was just another random stranger. Nothing more.
She took a deep breath and then made her way over to Alex's house. The driveway was empty. Did that mean neither of his parents were home? Not that it mattered. There were enough parents at her house to make up for the whole street.
The front door opened before she even got there. Alex closed it behind him. "Are we ready?"
"Yeah. My mom and sperm donor arrived just in time. I don't know how my mom does it. She always knows how to plan everything perfectly."
"So, what's he like?"
"Who knows? I barely said hi to him before coming to get you."
"Really? I know you're pissed, but aren't you curious?"
"Not really. Let's go. I want to find out if the baby's a boy or a girl. I'm tired of everyone calling it it."
"Okay." He looked like he wanted to say more, but he took her hand. "I want to know what it is, too."
Alex took her hand they walked to her house in silence. Zoey stopped when they got to her mom's car.
"We're not going in the house?"
"I told them we'd meet them in the car."
"Okay." He opened the back door and waited for Zoey to go in first. They settled in. "Is he nice, at least?"
Zoey shrugged. "He said I could chew him out if I wanted."
"Are you going to?"
"Probably, though it takes half the fun out of it since he said that."
"Fun?"
"You know what I mean. Not like ha-ha fun, but it'll feel good to let him have it. But if he's nice and not a jerk, it won't be the same. I wanted him to be mean. He said he was wrong and seemed to believe it. Said he thought keeping his distance was for the best."
He bumped her. "You're not half-bad, so he can't be too bad."
Zoey gave him a light shove and glared at him.
Alex laughed and then the corners of Zoey's mouth twitched. "Don't try to make me feel better."
"I'm just sayin'. I like you."
"Really? I would have never guessed."
He feigned a hurt expression and they both laughed. "At least you're smiling now."
"We'll see how long that lasts."
Alex looked toward the front of the house.
"Are they coming?" Zoey asked.
"Yeah. I'm trying to get a good look at your dad."
"Sperm donor," Zoey corrected.
"He looks a lot like you. Like, it's obvious he's your dad."
Zoey rolled her eyes. "I'm supposed to care?"
"Maybe you should give him a chance."
"And maybe you should back off."
Zoey's parents came to the car and Kenji introduced himself to Alex. It looked like Alex was going to pee himself. Was he nervous about meeting her sperm donor?
"Hi, sir. It's nice to meet you." Alex held out his hand between the front seats.
"Good to meet you, too. Seems we have a lot in common."
Alex squirmed in his seat. "Yeah?"
Kenji winked. "We're both nervous about seeing our children for the first time today."
"Huh. That's true. You're nervous?"
"Of course. She has every right to hate me. Maybe you could put in a good word for me?"
"I'm right here," Zoey said.
Kenji didn't take his eyes off Alex. "She has her mom's spunk. Have you ever noticed that?"
A slow smile spread across Alex's face. "Yeah, that's true."
Zoey glared at Alex. Whose side was he on, anyway?
Valerie started the car. "At least someone's being respectful to you." She gave Zoey a disapproving look to which Zoey promptly returned one of her
own. "Are we ready?"
Zoey's mouth went dry. What was going on? How could she be in the car with her dad on the way to find out if her child was a boy or a girl? She took Alex's hand and gave it a squeeze. He lifted her hand and gave it a light kiss. Then he gave her a look that told her everything would be okay.
Temptation
Chad was too frustrated to go back home and face Alex and Zoey. Why couldn't the cops get answers? Either the body was Macy's or it wasn't. Was it really that difficult with all the technology available?
If they would have at least let him look at the body, he could have told them whether or not it was her. If he wasn't so sure, he wouldn't be arguing with Alyssa.
As much as he loved her, he wasn't going to give in and say he thought Macy was gone. He didn't believe it and he wasn't going to let anyone think he did. When she returned home, he wanted to be able to look her in the eyes and tell her he hadn't given up on her, not for a moment.
She was going to return. Each passing day only brought Macy's return closer. He was sure of it. He wasn't going to judge Alyssa for her stance, but he wasn't going to take it with her. Even if it meant damaging their marriage. She was the one who wouldn't agree to disagree. They could still live under the same roof and hold different beliefs.
The car was suffocating. He pulled into the parking lot of the closest park. He would walk around the trails to burn off some energy. He couldn't think straight. Between the cops and Alyssa, he'd had about all he could take.
That wasn't true. The lack of results and Alyssa's demands were the icing on the cake of his life. He'd already had all he could take between his two kids. Anyone else in his shoes would have lost their minds already. He was actually holding everything together pretty well.
He slammed his door shut and locked it with the remote. Aside from a few random joggers, the park was empty. He looked up at the sky with the menacing clouds. No wonder only the die hards were out. Chad didn't care if he ended up soaked. He had energy to burn. Even though he wasn't dressed for a run, he was taking one.
Lifting weights had been one way he used to clear his head, but he hadn't even looked at those in months. He broke into a run and passed everyone else jogging. His lungs burned, but he didn't care. It actually felt good.
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