The Golden Padawan

by Diane Lau

  I enjoyed my time on the transport, alternately tending to Bo and Yzzel’s needs and making conversation with Master Nago. I found his company very pleasant: While he certainly had my respect, being a man of great intelligence and experience, he did not intimidate me in any way and I always felt at ease with him. He was a lifelong student of the subject of telepathy, and during our discussions of the topic I was more than once very tempted to share with him my experiences with Brenan. If not for my unpleasant dream, I might have; however, I didn’t want to broach the subject unless I could tell him everything (largely because his superior rank to me required that I answer any questions posed to me in full), and I was honestly too embarrassed to speak of the dark desire I had felt for the Jedi Knight in my dream.

  So I kept such ruminations to myself, and guarded my thoughts carefully. I disciplined myself not to think of Brenan at all, to focus rather on the new course my life was taking. My first major distraction was Tatooine itself. Spending most of my life on Coruscant had left me completely unprepared for a world which was in many ways its opposite: Tatooine was largely uninhabited, with vast expanses of raw desert. Its twin suns baked the surface by day, a dry and fearsome heat which required Jedi discipline to accept at times. By night it could be quite chill, but I loved the night because for the first time I was on a world where the stars could clearly be seen. I cultivated a sort of grim admiration for the unconquered nature of Tatooine. Meanwhile, the rough personalities of most of the inhabitants also tested my mettle. I was determined to remember I was a Jedi, well equipped for any challenges and smart enough to know not to bring them upon myself unnecessarily. Master Nago was good company, and he had a number of human friends among the moisture farmers in the area. As the weeks passed, although I didn’t feel exactly at home, I felt more and more capable of managing my new environment.

  Working with the dewbacks was a true joy. It took little coaxing from Bo and Yzzel to convince the rest of the herd that I was bond-worthy. I tried to get to know each of the 23 beasts, from the wise and sedate Frakt to the young twins he had most recently sired. Bo and Yzzel were certainly the most adept of the bunch, but all of them showed great promise and most would serve well as companion to a Jedi Knight.

  Thus occupied, I found the time passed quickly. We heard word that the ranch construction was going well and its completion would probably coincide nicely with the time when the twins would be old enough to travel. Nothing much marred our happy work except the occasional news that another Jedi had gone missing. Every time I heard of another incident, I experienced a wave of fear concerning Brenan…followed, I am shamed to admit, by a wave of fear concerning myself. But no further ill visions came to haunt me, and I gave little thought to the other possible dangers of which I should be wary.

  Many years earlier, Master Yoda had told us trainees something which always stuck with me. He said that every now and then a day comes along which can disrupt your life, when forces come together, tidal waves tossing you like a small boat. Towards the end of my sixth week on Tatooine, I had such a day.

  It began ordinarily enough. I put in an especially hard day, training the twins as well as helping repair one of the shelters. The combination of difficult mental and physical labor left me quite taxed. Come evening, Master Nago said he would stand watch over the herd and I could take a break however I saw fit, to recollect myself. I chose to go on a little ride with Bo, but I decided to make the rest more edifying by taking some good reading with me.

  Master Nago’s library was quite impressive. He had holograms and scrolls and books on every possible subject of interest to a Jedi. I scanned the shelves, not quite sure what I was looking for, when my eye came to rest on a small book called The Three Dreams of Teg of Aleyra.

  Naturally my heart skipped a beat at the sight of the author’s name. I knew little of Teg beyond his reputation as a great seer and telepathist, a Master of unknown age and great power. But I was eager to know more about the one in whom Brenan Auri-Owan had placed so much trust.

  I took the book from the shelf, and scampered to find Bo.

  We didn’t ride far, for once night fell it would get cold and Bo would have little interest in walking anywhere. The twin suns were slowly headed toward setting when I stopped in a hollow between two dunes. Bo settled down to rest and I leaned against his smooth side and opened my book. I read:

  There are as many futures as there are stars. A man cannot precisely choose his future, but he can choose to sweep many of the stars away. To sweep away the evil futures is the calling of every Jedi. To this I am called, to this I hope to be true.

  These are the three dreams of Teg of Aleyra.

  Dream the First.

  I saw a Golden Knight, a man of youth who was nevertheless already full in his powers. He was wise, and strong, and mighty, and great in the Force. There was nothing to hinder him from becoming a Master, and so it was done.

  I saw too a Padawan, a young man of great gifts, full worthy of such a Master. And so they were pledged. They complimented each other well, and served the Republic with full heart and strong hand.

  But they were not the Golden Pair, and it was not yet the fullness of time.

  So when the Great Evil came, these two fought valiantly, but they could not prevail. The Evil was triumphant, and terrible darkness came over all the world.

  I awoke from this dream full of dread and sorrow. This future should not be. Surely there was another that could take its place, should the choices be made to sweep the proper stars. So I returned to my sleep.

  Dream the Second.

  I saw a Golden Padawan, a young man true of heart and mighty in battle. He had a special gift, a blessing bestowed upon him by the Force, but his one great error was that he did not recognize this gift. The Padawan struggled with the Force, entreating that he might be freed of it. Long and hard he struggled, until at last he drove it from him. No one understood the tragedy of this, not even the wise Jedi who knew him.

  I saw too a Master, wise and gentle and mighty in the Force, who chose this Padawan to learn from him. It was a fine match, and the two achieved great things together.

  But they were not the Golden Pair, and the fullness of time had already passed.

  So when the Great Evil came, these two fought valiantly, but again they could not prevail. The Evil was triumphant, and terrible darkness came over all the world.

  When I awoke my heart was grieved within me. Could nothing be done to avert the errors that would bring about this future? Could not the Force guide me to what I must do? Again I lay myself down to sleep.

  Dream the Third.

  I saw the Golden Knight, and I knew the time was not yet full for his advancement. And so I cursed him, I blinded his inner eye so that he might have one flaw that could not be denied. This curse I could lift from him, but not until the time was right.

  And I saw the Golden Padawan, and he had not yet cast his gift from him. So I cursed him too, so that he might have no power over it. This curse could never be lifted, for the Force made clear that it was always to be so.

  In my dream time passed, and I watched with open eyes until the paths of these two crossed. Then I lifted the curse from the Golden Knight, that he might be raised to Master. This was all the work there was for me to do, for these two were the Golden Pair, and once brought together, there would be no parting them.

  By my labors were many stars swept from the sky. Those that remained I prayed were futures where good would conquer evil. The dream did not reveal this to me, but when I awoke I was satisfied.

  These are the three dreams of Teg of Aleyra, and to the task the Force has given to me, may I be most faithful.

  I can barely describe my reaction to these words. It could not be coincidence that Brenan sought the guidance of Teg, not when this description fit him so well. Why, he had even told me that the meaning of Auri-Owan was “Golden One.”

  As for the identity of the Padawan, I did not know what to think. Perhaps he too h
ad been brought to Aleyra, it being the fullness of time. It was possible they were already pledged. Certainly there was terrible evil afoot in the galaxy, certainly it was a good time for a “Golden Pair” to arise and seek a way to stop it.

  I was almost glad then that I had had the dreadful dream, for I knew that apart from it, I would surely be trying to find a way to interpret myself as the Golden Padawan. It would explain everything that had happened between Brenan and me, that was certain. I imagined too that this was why Brenan had told me that—“our destiny”—he had suspected it too. But he was wrong of course…for one thing, the Padawan was a male. And for another, I would never be worthy. The dream had made that clear. Even if I could be sure I felt nothing sexual for Auri-Owan, my love for him was still too intense, too unmanageable.

  Still, the words I had read had a powerful effect on me. They unleashed too many thoughts I had kept locked away for weeks. As dusk fell and the first stars appeared overhead, I wondered if one of them shone upon the soil of Aleyra, if even now one of them cast its light upon the golden head of my beloved friend. Was he a Master now? Did another stand by his side, preparing to fight the invisible threat to the Jedi? Could it be possible that he still thought of me?

  I pressed my hand to my shirt, felt the shape of Brenan’s ring under my fingers. He shouldn’t have given it to me, it wasn’t my right. I would have to find him again and return it.

  Bo stirred behind my back and I came to myself. It was getting late, it would already be a bit of a challenge to get the animal up. “Bo,” I said, aloud, “we have to get back.”

  He ignored me, although I knew he understood.

  “Silly thing, you can’t sleep here all night. Bo, get up.”

  The dewback deigned to open his nearest eye halfway and regard me. Time to rest, he said.

  I had been foolish, that was clear. I was mustering a more urgent tone, when suddenly Bo’s head shot up. His eye opened wide. He looked at me and said, Go to family!

  I stared at him a moment, puzzled by the sudden mood change. Bo swung his head and practically knocked me over. Nago calls! Go to family!

  Then I understood. In a moment I took up the book and leapt on Bo’s back, and we were off across the dunes at quite an amazing pace. I could feel Bo’s adrenaline rush and it was infectious. Something indeed terrible was going on at the ranch, and I feared for the dewbacks I had come to love and even more for Master Nago. A maternal rage seized me at first, but as we hurdled over the sand, the details emerging from Bo’s mind changed my mood. Two of them frightened me to the core: Nago sleeps. Raiders. I instinctively felt for my lightsaber at my belt.

  There was a high ridge just to the south of the ranch, and I stopped Bo when we arrived there. It was possible from this vantage point to get a good look at what was going on, before we were actually seen by the perpetrators. I hopped off Bo and crawled to the top of a dune to peek over.

  There were several banthas—I counted three with saddle gear—which meant there were three Tusken Raiders as well. Apparently they had somehow stunned or subdued some of the dewbacks, and were loading them onto carts which were drawn by other banthas. I couldn’t see Nago anywhere. Just then I heard a bellow that was unmistakably that of Frakt. By the light of the torches I spotted a Raider dispatching the large beast with some sort of stunning device.

  Frakt! cried Bo in heart-wrenching dismay.

  You can help me save him, I replied, as soothingly as I could.

  In point of fact I was terrified. How were I and my dewback supposed to fight three Raiders?

  We should have challenged three.

  This was the voice not of Bo, but my memory of Brenan. What was I so afraid of? I was a Jedi, I had a lightsaber, I was in the company of a telepathic dewback, if there were three Tusken Raiders then they would simply be made to wish they had brought a fourth. I smiled at this thought, and recognized an attitude woven by many stories at the Meri-Borx and in the training room. You may not be my Master, I thought to myself, but Auri-Owan, you were good for me.

  I took a moment to perform the Routines. In that moment I had at least an hour to develop my plan. I knew I was well prepared in spirit because I was calm in spite of the fact that I had sensed clearly these Raiders intended to kill anyone who came upon them.

  I told Bo to be calm and trust me, and he proved his training by obeying at once, in spite of his alarm. Then I mounted him and we descended the ridge to the ranch at a completely normal pace.

  The Raiders saw us coming and left off their labors to gather for our approach. They drew their

  gaderffii in preparation. They were not completely stupid; they had sedated or penned up all the other dewbacks so we could recruit none to our aid. Of course, the docile banthas were no use to their side either.

  Threaten them, Bo, but not so close to get hurt by their gaderffii, I instructed him as we drew near. He growled menacingly, showing all his teeth. The Raiders, if they felt fear, did not show it. I was still merely a woman on a beast and they no doubt saw me as easy prey.

  When we got close enough I leapt off Bo and landed a few feet from the nearest Raider, who brandished his weapon. As I leapt, I drew mine.

  Clearly they had not expected a Jedi.

  In one stroke I severed the gaderffii in two, and with the backstroke I beheaded its owner.

  It was my first kill, and it’s difficult for me to say if I reacted to it properly or not. The way I reacted was a flush of bloodlust, which I quickly quelled, diverting its energy instead to augmenting my strength and quickness. I turned to the next Raider. He was readying to swing his weapon at me when Bo emitted a well-timed roar. The diversion of attention was long enough for me to strike the Raider, and having discerned he was already badly frightened, I chose merely to deal him a bad injury to his weapon arm.

  The third was left understandably beside himself with terror. It is impossible to see the face of a Tusken Raider, but I didn’t need to. Fear came off him in waves. I rose to my full height with my lightsaber lifted high. “Tell your brothers no one is allowed to touch these dewbacks. Take the body with you and go.”

  With amazing speed the two loaded the corpse on a bantha, unhitched the carts laden with dewbacks, and rode off over the dunes. One intact gaderffii was left behind in the sand, and I made a mental note to retrieve it later, as some proof that it all had really happened. Then I sought Master Nago.

  It took some searching, but I found him concealed half under one of Bo’s brothers, the largest beast in the herd. He had apparently been there when the dewback himself was sedated, and was simultaneously knocked unconscious without the Raiders even seeing him there. This no doubt saved Nago’s life. I was unable to rouse him, but I drew him out, put a blanket over him and left Bo by his side. I checked on the other animals, freed the penned ones, made sure the sleeping ones were merely unconscious, and did my best to calm everyone.

  Once everything was in order, I went back and retrieved the Tusken weapon. I carried it back to where Bo stood over Master Nago, and waited.

  You are very strong, Aeli, said Bo.

  “No,” I replied out loud. “You are strong, Bo, I’m a Jedi. You did very well. You saved your family.”

  We saved our family, Bo corrected me.

  We sat quietly for a few moments. It seemed like the calm in the middle of a storm. I knew when the sedated beasts awoke there would be no little amount of turmoil to deal with, but how long that would take I couldn’t say. The stars grew brighter, even with the torches lit I could see many of them.

  I had killed a sentient being. I wondered if there might have been another way, but somehow I knew I had done what I had to. A Jedi Knight was an instrument of justice, and sometimes this was what justice did. A Jedi Knight. Perhaps someday I would be one after all. At least now I knew I could use my lightsaber for something other than drills.

  Just then my reverie was interrupted. I felt a presence standing over me, with a familiarity it took me only an instant to place.


  I had felt it months ago in the Great Hall.

  I looked up and saw Brenan. How interesting…he had grown a short beard in the time he was away. It was quite becoming.

  “It’s time to come to me, Aeli,” he said with a warm smile.

  I was completely unprepared for the feelings rushing in me. I had been so serene for so long, serene even while fighting the Raiders, I had no tolerance for these emotions. It was like a novice drinking ale for the first time. I took such pleasure just from the sight of him, from that smile which radiated warmth and joy, from those eyes, from every feature of his dear face, from the tactile presence of his strong body. I wanted to throw myself into his arms but something held me back. All I could do was whisper, “Brenan, I missed you so.”

  Bo stirred behind me, I could feel him raise his head. Aeli, you speak to the air? he asked.

  I realized Brenan did not see Bo, nor vice versa. I stood up and took a step closer to him. “Where are you?” I asked him.

  “I wait for you on Coruscant. Bring back the ring.” At this he very nearly laughed.

  I smiled, it felt like my whole body smiled. “Are you a Master yet?” I asked playfully.

  He lowered his chin and looked at me deeply. Still, there was a trace of mirth in the question he posed to me then: “Can’t you tell?”