Shattered Hearts

by Coral McCallum

  “Stop!” said Jake sharply, pushing her away. “That’s not a good idea.”

  “Oh, come on, Jake,” countered Nicole smoothly. “Don’t be shy. One kiss. Where’s the harm in that?”

  “I’m married, Nicole. Happily married.”

  Placing her hand on the front of his jeans, Nicole said, “Are you?”

  “Yes,” said Jake calmly as he removed her hand. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get back to work.”

  Lifting his coffee, Jake sidestepped out of her reach and left her gazing after him.

  Once safely back out in the blazing hot August sun, he let out a long sigh. His mind was racing. What in the hell had just happened? He had guessed that Nicole was attracted to him but he hadn’t bargained on her making such obvious advances towards him. Much to his annoyance, he could feel himself partially aroused by her touch but he’d meant what he’d said. He was happily married and had no intention of breaking his wedding vows. There was only one woman he wanted and it wasn’t Nicole Tonriverdi.

  “You ok?” asked Grey as Jake re-entered the rehearsal room.

  “Yeah. Why?” he replied a little too fast and a little too sharply.

  “You looked a little flustered.”

  “I’m fine,” said Jake, trying to sound calm. “It’s hot out there today.”

  “Sure is,” agreed the band’s bass player as he passed out the burgers. “I called Kola. She said Lori was on her way over to our place with the kids. Think they have a pool party planned.”

  “Sounds good to me,” sighed Jake as he set his coffee down and picked up his burger.

  It was dusk by the time Silver Lake called it a day on their rehearsal. As they walked back round to the front of JJL to head home, Jake was relieved to see there was no sign of Nicole’s BMW. The incident from lunchtime had preyed on his mind all afternoon and he had half expected to find her waiting for him outside. Apart from their trucks and cars, the only thing Jake spotted were lightning bugs flitting about among the tall grass.

  “Night,” he said as he reached his truck. “See you back here in the morning.”

  “Todd,” called out Grey. “You’re on coffee and donut duty tomorrow.”

  “Sure. I’ll pick them up on my way in,” promised the youngster before adding, “Jake, don’t be late!”

  “As if I would!” he laughed. “See you in the morning.”

  As he started the truck, Jake noticed there was a note under his wiper blade. Opening the window, he stretched round to retrieve it. As he’d suspected it was from Nicole. Without bothering to read it, he tossed it into the passenger side footwell and started the engine.

  The final day of rehearsal ran smoothly. No split drum heads. No broken strings. And, by the time the band were packing up late afternoon, they all felt more confident about the show ahead of them. As had become a long-established Silver Lake tradition, they were gathering at the beach house after rehearsal for a BBQ.

  Checking his phone, Jake called out, “Grey, Kola and the girls are at our place. You’ve to bring over some chicken that Kola left at your place. Some marinated skewers or something.”

  “Thanks. I’ll swing by and pick it up on the way over.”

  “What have I to bring?” asked Todd, fastening the catches on his guitar case.

  “Lori said something about needing more shrimp when I spoke to her earlier.”

  “Two pounds enough?”

  “More than enough.”

  “Great,” said Todd. “I’ve a couple of errands to run but I’ll be there by six-thirty.”

  “Take your time. We’ve got all night.”

  As the sun dipped lower in the early evening sky and the BBQ embers burned low, the three members of Silver Lake took the kids down to the beach to play. They’d all eaten their fill but the youngsters were bored confined to the house and deck. Grabbing a soccer ball, Jake was the one who suggested they let the kids run off the last of their energy.

  Amid squeals of laughter, the extended Silver Lake family played on the soft sand in front of the beach house. After a few minutes, when he thought none of the adults were watching, Jesse made a bid for freedom and ran off along the beach towards Rehoboth.

  “Daddy!” screamed Melody a few seconds later. “Jesse’s escaped!”

  “Damn,” muttered Jake as he headed off in pursuit of his son.

  It never ceased to amaze him how fast the little boy could run but he managed to catch up with him swiftly. He was running along the waterline watching the waves rather than where he was going. Before Jake could grab him, Jesse careened into a jogger causing them to stumble and fall.

  “Lord, I am so sorry,” apologised Jake, reaching out to help the fallen runner to their feet. “You ok?”

  “Twisted my knee but I’ll live,” replied a familiar voice.

  “Nicole!” he gasped then, realising that Jesse had run off again, added, “Wait there.”

  A few moments later he returned to where Nicole was sitting on the damp sand rubbing her knee with Jesse in his arms. The small boy was sobbing loudly about having been captured and reprimanded.

  “Jesse, say sorry to Nicole for knocking her over,” instructed Jake firmly.

  “I sorry, lady,” said Jesse tearfully.

  “No harm done,” replied Nicole, smiling up at the little boy and Jake.

  “You sure you’re ok?” quizzed Jake, unable to help himself from sounding concerned.

  “I’m fine. Honestly,” purred Nicole. “I might cut my run short though and walk back.”

  Balancing Jesse on his hip, Jake reached out with his other hand and helped Nicole to her feet. She held onto his hand just a little longer than was necessary.

  “Thank you,” she said softly.

  “If you’re sure you’re ok, I’d best get this little dude home,” said Jake, keen to get out from under her gaze.

  “I’m fine, Jake,” she assured him, reaching out to rub Jesse’s back. “And it was nice to see you again, Jesse.”

  Overcome by shyness and tiredness, Jesse buried his tear-stained face in Jake’s shoulder.

  “I’d best make a move,” said Jake. “And sorry again.”

  “No harm done. See you tomorrow night,” replied Nicole as she turned to leave.

  “Night,” said Jake, only registering what she’d said after he had started to head back to the house. It had totally slipped his mind that he’d added Nicole to the guestlist for the show.

  Fans were already queued up outside the Ram’s Head when the Silver Bullet pulled up shortly before noon next day. Ignoring Jethro’s stern warning about being on a tight schedule, the three members of Silver Lake paused to spend a few minutes with the die-hard Silver Lakers, posing for photos and autographing anything the fans presented to them. As had become the norm, there was one fan who wanted the band to sign their body with a view to getting it tattooed later. This time, it was only the guy’s shoulder and Paul joked with him that he was relieved that it wasn’t a more intimate area.

  “Time to get inside, boys,” called out Jethro. “You’ve a show to prepare for!”

  With a final wave to the Silver Lakers, the band followed their manager into the venue. Once inside, the Silver Lake “machine” swung into action as familiar routines fell naturally into place. Press commitments had been kept to a minimum in an effort to keep them focussed on the show. As a band, they gave one interview to a major rock UK magazine, chatting to the journalist over coffee and filled bagels. Talking about Rich, the plans for the show and the future was tough on all of them. Out of the three of them, Jake found it the hardest to answer the questions and he failed to hide his relief from the journalist when the interview concluded.

  When they returned to the dressing room, Jake was pleased to see that Lori and the kids had arrived, along with Kola and the girls plus Maddy and the twins. Leaving Wren and Hayden in Lori’s care, Maddy went off in search of the promoter, clutching her pre-show checklist. Even Grey’s mother, Annie, had made the tr
ip to Baltimore. Having family around helped to calm the band’s nerves.

  “Five minutes till soundcheck,” called out Jethro loudly. “Mr Power, please don’t be late.”

  Sound checking without Rich barking orders at the sound engineer and at them was an emotional and surreal experience for Jake and the others. Sticking with his tried and tested routine, Jake ran through a couple of his solos, checked and re-checked all his settings, fussed over his acoustic settings then suggested that they run through a couple of the songs in full. Behind him, Paul was having a few setup issues with his drumkit but, amid a cloud of profanity, he worked with his new drum tech to sort out his set up.

  Just as they were finishing up After Life arrived ready to run through the songs their various members were due to guest on. Rehearsing his duet with Ellen brought back old memories for Jake and they all fell about laughing when Grey referred to her as “Witchy Woo.” The laughter broke some of the tension hanging in the air, sprinkling some much-needed light relief on proceedings.

  A few of their guests hadn’t been able to make it to Baltimore in time for the soundcheck. Silver Lake had had to quietly accept this and trust that it would all work out alright during the show.

  Only one act had been booked as support for the evening and, as Silver Lake wound things up, they arrived at the side of the stage ready to set up for their own soundcheck. They were an up and coming band from Baltimore that Jethro had handpicked, claiming they reminded him of Silver Lake.

  “I was at college with their frontman,” revealed Todd as Silver Lake headed back to the dressing rooms. “They played a few shows while I was there.”

  “Any good?” quizzed Grey.

  “Yeah, they are,” replied Todd. “Check them out later if you get time.”

  “As long as the audience like them,” muttered Paul, his own pre-show nerves beginning to creep in, making him short-tempered.

  “Time will tell,” sighed Jake. “Let’s just focus on the fans liking us tonight.”

  “Going to be a shit load of emotion out there,” mused Grey.

  “Sure is,” agreed Jake quietly. “Just hope we… I mean I…hold it together out there.”

  Hanging out backstage with their families kept the various members of the band relaxed, keeping their mind off the show itself. Keeping all six kids entertained proved to be a challenge. They were all overexcited at being there. With a smile, Jake noticed that Melody had gradually gravitated towards Todd and was begging to be allowed to play his guitar. Jake’s former protégé hadn’t heard the little girl play and, at Jake’s suggestion, reluctantly handed over his guitar to the five-year-old. Grinning up at Todd, Melody ran through the various exercises she had been working on.

  “Daddy,” she called out as Todd accepted his guitar back from her some twenty minutes later. “Why does it sound different?”

  “Different tuning,” replied Jake calmly. “Your guitar is in standard tuning. Todd’s is in drop D.”

  The little girl looked puzzled.

  “Todd’s top string is tuned to D. Yours is tuned to E,” explained Jake as Todd demonstrated.

  “Why?”

  “A lot of our music was written with the guitars in drop D. It gets kind of technical, Miss M,” began Jake, reluctant to get into a music lesson in the dressing room. “Remind me tomorrow when we get home to show you. We can play about in the basement. Maybe Todd will come over and help.”

  Knowing how much the little girl adored him, Todd nodded, “Sure. Happy to help our young musician here.”

  “When can I get an electric guitar?” asked the little girl, running her hand lovingly over the charcoal grey body of Todd’s guitar.

  “Soon,” promised Jake, checking the time. “Right, I’d better go and warm up. I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

  In a small room, little bigger than a broom closet, Jake relished the solitude as he methodically worked through his vocal warm-up routine. A small voice in his head was casting doubts in his mind as to whether his voice would hold out for the whole show. It was a regular fear for the first show of a tour and, coupled with the emotions surrounding this show, Jake struggled to get his vocal cords relaxed. He paused his routine to focus on some breathing exercises then refocused his attention on the warm-up.

  From down the hallway, he could hear voices and recognised both Garrett and Mikey’s dulcet tones. Knowing that their guests had arrived helped a little to settle his nerves.

  As he walked back down the hallway to join the others shortly before eight, Jake could hear the support band out on stage. Curiosity got the better of him and he detoured through the hallways to the side of the stage. Taking care to keep out of sight of the audience, Jake stood watching the band. He’d only been there for a few moments when Todd appeared beside him with Melody in his arms. The little girl had fluorescent pink ear protectors on but, from the sparkle in her eyes, Jake guessed that she was loving the music.

  After two songs, Jake signalled to Todd that he was going back to get ready for Silver Lake’s set. He reached out to take his daughter with him but she scowled at him and shook her head vehemently. Realising he was wasting his time, Jake headed back to find the others.

  Compared to their normal pre-show routine, this felt more like an after-show gathering. All of the band’s invited guests had joined Silver Lake and their families in the green room. Scanning the room in search of Lori, Jake’s eyes met Nicole’s. She was standing in the corner deep in conversation with Paul and Kola.

  “Hey, rock star,” said a voice behind him.

  “Hey, li’l lady,” he replied, turning round to face his wife. “Quite a party going on here.”

  “Feels that way. Maria arrived a few minutes ago,” said Lori, slipping her arm around his waist. “Is Melody not with you?”

  “She’s at the side of the stage with Todd. She’s loving this.”

  “So’s Jesse,” laughed Lori, pointing to where their son was clambering all over Tailz from After Life. “He’s wearing poor Taylor out.”

  “Doesn’t look like he’s complaining,” observed Jake. “You seen Jethro?”

  “Not for a while. He was with Maddy out in the hall.”

  “No worries. I’ll find him,” said Jake. “You going out front to watch?”

  Lori shook her head. “We’ll watch from the side of the stage. Annie’s taken the twins and Grey’s girls to watch from the balcony. I think Kola’s watching from up there too.”

  Jake nodded then said, “Right, time to get ready. Grey’s trying to round us up.”

  “You ok?” asked Lori, sensing how anxious her husband seemed.

  “I’ll be fine once we’re out there,” replied Jake, hugging her tight. “This one’s going to be tough.”

  “I know,” sighed Lori sadly. “Play for him. Play as if he was still beside you.”

  “He still is,” said Jake, touching the spot on his chest where the arrow tattoo was. “Always will be.”

  “See you on the other side, rock star.”

  Pacing restlessly, Jake waited on Jethro’s signal to step out on stage. The house lights had been dimmed for a couple of minutes and the capacity crowd were chanting, “Silver Lake, Silver Lake, Silver Lake Lake Lake” passionately. Beside him, Grey was bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet, eager to get out on stage. In the shadows, Todd stood looking nervous and ready to throw up. As was his usual pre-show ritual, Paul was crouched down, drumsticks in hand almost as if he were praying. Each of them was lost in their own thoughts as the time ticked down.

  “Right, showtime,” declared Jethro. “Get out there and do Rich proud.”

  Paul was the first to bound out on stage while the house lights were still dimmed. The fans went wild as they spotted him dart behind his kit. Next to run out, as the lights went up, was Grey closely followed by Todd. Last to walk out, at a leisurely pace, was Jake. As he reached his mark centre stage, he offered up a silent prayer to the music Gods to watch over them.

  The au
dience quietened as Jake stepped up to his mic and began the haunting ghost-like intro to Depths. As the last long lingering note rang out, Grey began the familiar heavy pounding riff. Like a well-oiled machine, Silver Lake delivered a thundering rendition of the ever-popular song from their second album. Feeling calmer and more in control, Jake ended the epic tale of drowning with a husky, almost raspy reprise of the eerie intro.

  As the fans cheered ecstatically, Silver Lake moved straight into Dragon Song. In true Silver Lake fashion and, just as they had done in rehearsal, Todd and Grey played in back to back formation behind Jake. The fans were already in fine voice.

  “Thank you,” said Jake at the end of the song, addressing the fans for the first time.

  For a second, he faltered, a wave of fresh grief hitting him hard in the chest. He gazed out across the sea of fans in front of him on the floor and in the two raised areas then said softly, “Baltimore, this is Out Of The Shadows.”

  For the first time of asking, it was Todd who found himself in the spotlight as he played the delicate intro to the third song on the setlist. He let out an almost audible sigh as he nailed it just as Jake began to sing the first verse.

  “Baltimore!” roared Jake at the end of the song. “You look beautiful tonight!”

  The surge of appreciation that roared back from the fans dissolved any remaining nerves Jake may have been suffering from.

  “We’d like to thank you all for being here tonight,” he continued. “Every song in the main set was chosen by you guys tonight to honour Rich’s legacy. He lived to play. He loved his music and he loved each and every one of you.”

  Another crescendo of cheering drowned out what Jake had been about to say.

  “Thank you,” he said, smiling out across the crowd. Along the rail in front of him, the usual die-hard fans were hanging on his every word. “This is an emotional night for all of us. However, we’re here to celebrate Rich’s life and to find some Good In The World.”

  Inwardly, he cringed at his cheesy lead into their next song. If the Silver Lakers thought his comments were too twee, they never let on. The only one to show any emotion was Grey, who threw him a pitying look as he gave a slow shake of the head.