Child Star: Part 3

by J. J. McAvoy

  “Noah, I need to know,” I pleaded.

  “Austin and I came up with a plan.”

  Austin? “What?” I sat up immediately. “You told Austin?”

  “Amelia, do you trust me?” he asked softly.

  “Always.” I didn’t even have to think about that.

  Taking my hand, he kissed the back of it. “Then know that I trust Austin. Both him and my brother.”

  “Your brother? Noah, how many people—”

  “Just Austin and Bo,” he replied, sitting up and resting against the headboard. “Do you remember when I got emancipated from Frank? I was fifteen, and Austin became my manager.”

  I would never forget. He had never been so happy in all the time we had been together. That year was amazing.

  “You told me your dad was taking all of your money.” Which didn’t surprise me at all.

  “He was,” he replied, frowning as he opened the bedside drawer and pulled out a packet of cigarettes. I didn’t bother fighting him this time when he lit it up. “But Frank had been stealing from me all my life. I could have left earlier, but I never did because of my half brother, Bo. I didn’t want to abandon him, not after his mother did. She just left him, but we couldn’t blame her. A person can only take so many beatings from Frank. With her gone, he tried to beat on Bo, but each time he did, I would I put myself in the hospital. Stupid things like breaking my arm or leg.”

  “Noah…” Back then, he had told me he had gotten hurt trying to do stunts.

  “Don’t look at me like that,” he laughed, cupping my face. “I wasn’t doing it out of depression or anything. I did it to teach Frank a lesson. After those two times, he never laid a hand on Bo again. I was his ATM, and each time I got hurt, he lost money. There is nothing Frank hated more than that. We had a plan. When Bo turned eighteen, I’d get emancipated and we’d leave. But since I was child star, and those accidents didn’t line up with my film schedule, children's services got involved. The person working my case was Austin Kugelman. Not only did he figure it out, but he knew everything about Frank—what he did to us, what he was involved in, and what he had done Austin covered up as much of it as he could. He told me that the only way to survive in this world is to be important. He wanted me as far away from Frank as possible and actually made it happen. He even set up Bo, but he told us to keep our distance from each other.”

  “Why?” He’d never told me anything about his family life. I knew him. But anything beyond that, he always told me not to worry about. Now, everything was spilling out of him like he was in confession.

  “Because Austin knew something I didn’t want to accept.” He took a long drag of his cigarette and blew the smoke out from his nose. “Bo is a failure. He is a second-rate version of Frank, and if it weren’t for me, he’d stealing cars or slinging dope for a living. If we were together, he’d just be another anchor around my neck.”

  It was harsh, and he looked so heartbroken to admit it.

  “You know what was worse?” he whispered, dropping his head. “The moment I moved out, when I didn’t have to think about them, I was grateful. For the first time, my family wasn’t my burden.”

  “But because of me … of Esther … you still have to deal with Frank.” He was only free for a year. After that, our parents’ sins had ruined us.

  “Yes,” he admitted, and that guilt started to creep back up. “But it was still different. I was no longer just his doormat. I couldn’t do much, but I could protect you.”

  “You protect me. Then who protects you?” I didn’t want to be his burden, either.

  “You do,” he replied with a look on his face that said he didn’t understand how I could ask that. “Between you and Austin, no one else has ever had my back.”

  “And Bo? The fact that you called him means you trust him, right?”

  He shook his head. “It means I know he will get rid of the body without asking any questions.”

  I wasn’t sure what to think of this Noah. He was the same and yet so different … no, not different—100 percent himself now, with no reservations. “You’re telling me this now because …?”

  “The realization that the world is fucked-up place. And no matter what you do, you can’t change it. I’ve had it since I was seven, and I can see it in you now. I couldn’t tell this to the old Amelia.”

  The light bulb in my head kept getting brighter. I couldn’t deny anything he said, and worst of all, none of it bothered me.

  “When you realize it’s a ruthless world, all you can do is be ruthless in return,” he whispered softly, blowing out smoke. “There was no going back, Amelia. We can cover this up, but it doesn’t matter, if you can’t move on from it.”

  Reaching over to him, I took the cigarette from between his lips and placed it between mine, copying his actions and taking a long drag off it.

  “Ahh! Fuck!” I coughed, my throat burning. Being the asshole he was, he laughed at me.

  “You’re cute,” he said, taking the cigarette, though I almost threw it at him. I was still trying to breathe.

  “That was so much cooler in my head,” I muttered, lying down beside him. He wrapped his arm around my waist and only then did I realize I was naked. But I didn’t care. There were no secrets between us anymore.

  “Try and get some rest. We have to be up in two hours,” he whispered, and I couldn’t help but snicker. Confused, he glanced down at me.

  “What?” He questioned.

  “In two hours, we will be acting as Blair and Damon, criminals and lovers … does art imitate life, or does life imitate art?”

  The corner of his lip turned up, and he put his cigarette out on the drawers. Rolling on top of me, he pinned both of my hands down at the sides of my head. His face hovered so closely to mine that every breath he breathed, I took in.

  “Don’t you know, Amelia,” his eyes dropped to my lips, “everybody is a sinner.”

  Not even giving me a second to reply, his lips were on mine, his tongue in my mouth, his body pressed up against mine. And I knew then that I was in. The good, the bad, the ugly, and the unspeakable—I was in.

  I wouldn’t look back.

  I wouldn’t feel guilt.

  I would trust him completely.

  The old Amelia died with Esther … and I could live with that.

  Chapter Two

  Noah

  I wasn’t sure what she expected to see when we stepped out of our bedroom. Last night, I was able to take her mind off of things easily because she so badly wanted to forget. But this morning, stepping out into the very room her mother had died in, I wasn’t sure how she would react to the fact that it looked like it had never even happened. The broken vase, table, the lamp, the paintings—all of it was gone and replaced with replicas. Even more striking was Austin, dressed in a tan suit and green bow tie, standing in the very spot Esther’s body had been only hours ago and talking casually on the phone. He leaned against the couch as if even he didn’t realize where he was standing.

  “Amelia, Oliver wanted me to tell you that he will meet you on set.” He glanced up at us and nodded over to the table where a light breakfast and coffee were waiting.

  She nodded, but didn’t move.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked her.

  Her blue eyes focused on me, staring at me with shock and confusion. I knew she wanted to know how. But I prayed she didn’t ask.

  “Nothing. Sorry, I just spaced out for a second.” She forced a smile and then walked over to the table, reaching for a bagel along with the pink script for the morning.

  “Oliver called you this morning?” I questioned when Austin stepped closer to me, his back to her.

  “Apparently he quit last night.”

  “He what?” Hell must have frozen over.

  “I’m not sure what happened, but I’m guessing it was before our other issue.” He paused before speaking again. “Neither of you should have stayed here last night.”

  “Where else could we have gon
e?” She couldn’t have left in her state, and certainly not before the room had been cleaned.

  He sighed, knowing I was right. “You need to remember, Noah—she isn’t like you. She grew up like a princess, the daughter of a star, and then became a star in her own right. But you, no matter how long you’ve lived as a celebrity, will always be from the Southbend.”

  My jaw and fists tensed at what he was implying. The Southbend, the Chicago slums, the trailer parks, the dogs, my good ol’ hometown, where you couldn’t throw a stone without hitting a dealer, stripper, thief, murderer, or the person they murdered. There were two Noah Sloans: one who grew up watching Frank beat the shit out of men with tire irons for simply looking at him the wrong way, and then there was the Noah Sloan—the actor. I had spent my life trying to keep them separate, and now they were colliding faster than I could grasp.

  “I’m not trying to piss you off.” He grabbed my arm, drawing my attention. “I’m just trying to remind you that the way you see the world may be different than how she does. To you, this is another skeleton in the closet. To her, the world has flipped on its head.”

  “She’ll be fine.”

  “Noah—”

  “I know her.”

  “You knew her … years ago.”

  “No,” I sneered, not looking away from him. “I. Know. Her. Everyone tries to treat her like glass, like she is someone who has to be managed, but she’s stronger than you think. If she wasn’t, she wouldn’t have called me last night.”

  In that one split moment, she made a choice. She was good person. She tried to do the right thing. But at the end of the day, she still called me.

  “Guys,” Amelia called out, and both of our heads snapped to her. She didn’t look away from the script in her hand. “I’m trying my best to pretend like you aren’t talking about me, but I’m really not that dumb, so …”

  Smirking, I walked away from him.

  “So?” I questioned, grabbing a bagel from the table and taking a seat directly in front of her.

  “So talk to me, not about me, because there are a lot of things I can take from you, but doubt is not one. Not now. Not ever. We all make choices, and I made mine a long time ago. You. Beginning. End. It is always you. I do not ask for absolution. I do not call myself a good person. Everything you are—jaded, controlling, ruthless—I am, too. I know nothing but for the fact that I am yours, so you. Can’t. Doubt. Me. And you sure as hell can’t look at me with anything other than unreasonable, undeniable, borderline obsessive love.” She stared at me so intensely, I couldn’t look away even if I wanted to.

  I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. I couldn’t fight the grin spreading over my face the more I stared at her.

  She too smiled and turned the script to me. “You’ve got to hand it to Blair—she sure knows how to keep her man in line.”

  “Taking notes?” I asked.

  “Does it bother you?”

  “Not even a little bit.” I didn’t care that it came from the script. The fact that she said it right when I wanted to hear it was all I needed. It reminded me of when we were younger—no matter who our parents were or where we came from, when it came to each other, we could always find the same page.

  This. Us. Everything would work.

  I smiled.

  And she smiled.

  Then Austin had to fuck everything up by speaking. “Noah, he’s not leaving the lobby.”

  “Who?” Amelia asked, glancing between us.

  Rising from the chair, I got up and kissed the side of her head. “Finish eating. I’ll meet you at the car.”

  “Noah?”

  I didn’t answer, just took my leather jacket and walked to the door. The less she knew about Bo, the better off she was. However, I didn’t even make it a step out the suite. The moment I opened the door, there was Bo, grinning with a toothpick his mouth.

  He’s an idiot was the first thing crossed my mind.

  “’Sup, lil’ bro.”

  Pushing him back, I slammed the door shut behind me.

  “Noah—”

  I held my hand to his face, glancing at the cameras in the hall before nodding toward the emergency stairs.

  “I know you’re—” Bo started.

  “Have you lost your fucking mind?” I hollered, grabbing his shirt and throwing him up against the wall. “You do not come to me unless I call for you, Bo. That is the deal!”

  “Am I your fucking brother or your dog?”

  “YOU ARE…” Taking a deep breath, I released my grip on him and took a step back. I wanted to beat the shit out of him, but instead kept breathing through my nose.

  “I ain’t dumb, alright! I know the goddamn deal—”

  “Then why are you here, Bo?”

  He stared back at me, his eyes wide. “So that’s how it is? You call me when you need something, I do everything you fuckin’ ask, and now you ain’t even gonna give me the time of day? What, you too good for us now? You come home and you can’t even stop by? Did your fucking manager tell you I got a kid now? Six months old. She ain’t even seen her uncle’s face besides the news. We’re family, Noah, and you can walk around with your fancy clothes, your millionaire friends, and your hot-shot girlfriend, but you can’t change the fact that you’re a Sloan.”

  “We need to make some things clear,” I said, stepping up to him. “First of all, you don’t wanna know how much it cost me to give you the time of fucking day. You can’t afford it. Secondly, yeah, that’s how it is. That’s how it’s always been. Except it’s me who is always doing the goddamn favor for you. Third, your baby girl? Katie? Who paid her bills when she was in the NICU ‘cause her mother couldn’t go nine months without shooting up? Hell, I paid for both of their bills, the house you live in, and the debt you racked up at the Horseshoe so many damn times they’ve named a table after me! You might not see me, but you sure as hell always see my money.”

  “Bro, I—”

  “I’m not finished!” I sneered. He looked to the side, fingering the toothpick in his mouth. “Fourth, and most importantly, I got the same friends you got, and they like me much better. I don’t want to fight with you, but don’t you dare step in my face and act like I somehow forgot what my goddamn last name was!”

  He sighed, dropping his head into his hands and falling back against the wall. “You’re right. Sorry. I’m sorry. Okay? It’s just—it was good to see you face to face. I was hoping we could catch up, you know.”

  “I’m busy—but I was going to come and visit,” I replied, placing my hand on his shoulder. “Plus, you know Chicago—it has to beat the shit out of you a few times before you can enjoy the view.”

  He grinned stupidly. “I heard you did got locked up. This Mallory guy—you need me to…?”

  “I’m good. As long as you took care of my other problem.”

  “I’m hurt you even gotta ask,” Bo replied.

  “Good. You know I only call you because if I can’t count on my brother—”

  “Who else can you fucking count on?” he finished the saying we had as kids, shaking my hand and bringing me in for a one-arm hug.

  “Alright. Alright, I’ma make myself a ghost now. But don’t forget to come down. Everybody keeps asking about you. Megan is clean now, too,” he said.

  “Yeah, got it.” I nodded to him when he opened the door, giving me one more glance back before he left. When he did, only one thing crossed my mind.

  I shouldn’t have called him.

  Amelia

  “So that was Bo,” I said when Austin and I got on the elevator. We had left only minutes after Noah had dragged his brother away so quickly I could barely see anything other than his short blonde hair and tattoos on his arms.

  “The one and only,” Austin replied, texting on his phone.

  “Why did he come back?”

  “God only knows.”

  “Austin.” I turned him and he finally looked up me. “I need you to know something—I’m sure you understand
why. Noah trusts you, so I trust you. Whatever you thought of me yesterday morning no longer applies today. Are we understood?”

  His eyebrow raised, practically amused and from what I could tell, impressed. “Understood, Ms. London.”

  “Brilliant. Also, when we get to set, please talk to Oliver about getting all his contacts for me. You’ll be my manager also.” He didn’t question this, which was good since I wasn’t asking. The last thing I needed was someone else close to me that I had to lie to.

  When the elevator doors opened, the first person I saw step out was Noah himself, his hands in his pocket. The second he saw me, a smirk spread across his face, as it did on mine.

  “For the both you.” Austin handed us each a pair of sunglasses. “The press is still manic.”

  The fact that that it was so early in the morning and yet they were already waiting meant that the whole world was watching us again. Just like old times—no, worse than back then. But we wanted this, right? That’s why we were even here to begin with, to become something bigger than former child stars. We’d be bigger than even Esther had dreamed. She didn’t make me. I made myself.

  Amelia and Noah…no one would forget us.

  “You ready?” Noah asked me.

  “Been ready since I was kid.” I took the shades from Austin, who was reaching up to cover his eyes. “Are you ready?”

  He didn’t answer, but simply took my hand, leading us into the lion’s den.

  Chapter Three

  Three Months Later

  Amelia

  "Ms. London," the show’s producer called, pulling me out of my own thoughts.

  "Yes?" I asked, turning in my chair. The man doing my makeup never bothered to stop for a moment.

  "You're on in five."

  "Thank you," I responded with a smile before turning back to face the mirror. You’d think I would get used to my face being like this. But I couldn't do my own makeup to save my life. Years of having stylists would do that to a person. "Wow."