Heart Wish

by Mary Crawford

  “I’m surprised you don’t blame your ex.”

  “Sometimes I do. When Lyle and I got engaged, we had big plans — but life got in the way. We thought we would get married and always be together. I unexpectedly got pregnant with Quinn and — well you know what happened with that. After he died, all the love between us died too. My dreams of a happy life just vanished.”

  Kendall’s sadness permeates the room. I war with myself about whether to intervene and comfort her. Even though it’s difficult for me to watch her relive the memories, I need to hear it. I take a seat on one of the antique chairs in the room and try to will her some strength and peace as I listen to her continue her anguishing tale.

  Kendall starts to pace the room as she continues to explain, “After Quinn died and it became clear my wedding was off, I threw myself into school. I tried to make sense of what happened to my perfect life. One of my college classes required me to interview people in a social work setting. My advisor suggested Locate My Heart. After I met Colette, I knew I had found my calling. If I couldn’t do anything for my own child, I could at least try to reunite families who could still be saved.”

  I shake my head at Kendall. “You are far more forgiving than me. If I were you, I’d still be furious at Lyle for ditching me.”

  She turns back toward me with a smirk. “Oh, make no mistake. I built up a hefty case of rage against my ex-fiancé. Mostly I was just sad and disappointed that we couldn’t hold it together. I think we both let the grief and despair kill everything that was healthy in our relationship. In the long term it worked out. I’m in a much better place now than I was when I was with Lyle. I thought I loved him, but he never understood who I really was. Lyle wanted someone who could stand silently by his side, look pretty, and be always gracious while he sold upscale homes. I tried to be that person for him, but it was never going to be enough for me. Losing Quinn just made me realize that more quickly than I might have otherwise.”

  Unable to hold back any longer, I put my arms around Kendall and pull her close. She weeps against my shoulder, but then shrugs away.

  Kendall wipes her face with a tissue. “This never gets any easier. I thought as time went on, the pain would go away. But it still lingers.”

  “Like you once told me, ‘You don’t just get over something like that.’”

  “You wanted to know if I knew anything about losing someone or if I was just making up all of my platitudes I give to grieving families. There’s your answer. I know more about the suffering of losing a child than any mother should know,” Kendall says as she abruptly gets up from the love seat and walks over toward the window.

  I walk over and try to place a comforting arm around her shoulder. Kendall ducks away from my arm, resisting any contact as she frowns deeply. “I have been dealing with this by myself for many years. I don't want anything from you right now.”

  CHAPTER 9

  KENDALL

  I JUMP A LITTLE WHEN I hear a knock on my door frame. Honestly, I’m not quite used to having my own office. The privacy is disconcerting. When I look up, Jameson is holding a cup of my favorite tea in one hand. He is clutching a red rose bud in the other hand as he knocks on my door frame with his knuckles.

  “Can I help you?” I ask, trying to cover my surprise at his presence.

  “Am I still in the dog-house for being a moron the other day?” he asks as he offers the tea and rose stem with baby’s breath and pretty ribbon. “I’m so sorry. Sometimes my mouth gets ahead of my brain.”

  I smile as I set them on my desk. I open my desk drawer and remove a packet of sugar and pour it in. I stir the tea with the slim, brown stirring stick and gratefully take a sip of the fragrant cinnamon tea. “This is perfect, thank you. You weren’t the only one with regrets from that day. I was snippier than I needed to be. You were only trying to comfort me.”

  “I should have never pushed you so hard,” he counters as he steps closer to kiss me. When he sees a picture of an unfamiliar child on my screen he kisses me lightly, hugs me quickly and backs away. “You must be in the middle of something,” he says as he walks out of my office.

  “I am. We got a new case. This one has an AMBER Alert. I’m trying to get our media packages set up as quickly as I can. I’m almost done. I just wish I had some help to disseminate them. Unfortunately, Brynley has class today.”

  I watch through the doorway of my office as Jameson checks the time on his phone. He walks over to the station the interns use and takes his laptop out of his bag and sets it on the desk. He glances over at me and asks, “What do you need?”

  “For some reason, I’m having trouble resizing the image for the poster. I do this all the time, but this one is strange.”

  “I can do that one for you. Shoot it to me via email. Do you need it in 72 dpi?”

  “I was trying to do two versions — one for print and one for electronic. Can you do that?”

  “Easy-peasy. When I’m done, I’ll put it up on Tristan’s company bulletin board with Identity Bank. His company has huge reach.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate that. I think Tristan already highlights AMBER Alerts on Identity Bank’s website though.”

  “Did you know he also has a separate announcement system where he releases information about new video games and software products? I can pop it up there, so it scrolls through that announcement system too.”

  “I didn’t realize he had a separate platform. That would be awesome! Thank you.”

  I take a moment to study Jameson as I wait for the picture to load into my email program. Today he is wearing a button-down with the sleeves rolled up exposing his tattoos. His beard is trimmed and his head freshly shaved. He looks like a coiled-warrior. His tense body language reminds me that he came to see me. “Was there a reason you stopped by, other than to bail me out of my computer woes?”

  Jameson appears startled by my question for a moment. “Yeah, there is. This isn’t the only pressing case you’ve got. I guess you didn’t get the message from Tyler? He wants us in a meeting in about forty-five minutes.”

  “I didn’t get anything from Ty. Then again, I’ve been focused on this. Do you know what this is about?”

  “I’m not sure. I thought maybe you knew. It’s probably about Asher Livingston, don’t you think? It’s the only case we’re all working on together.”

  My heart drops to my toes. I glance over at Jameson to gauge his reaction to the news. “I have a really bad feeling about this,” I blurt.

  Jameson looks up from his computer with a startled expression. “Why?”

  “Think about it ... if he had good news, Tyler would just call. So, they must have found something dreadful.”

  Jameson’s shoulders slump. “The time delay could be so he can arrange a formal press conference. I never thought about that. I hope we’re wrong. I want Asher’s family to have a sense of peace my family hasn’t reached yet.”

  “I could be totally off base. But, it just seems weird Ty didn’t call one of us.”

  Jameson gestures toward his computer screen as he asks, “What’s the story behind this one?”

  “Imogene Faith Decker was abducted from her babysitter’s house by her birth father who lost custody because of abuse. He was caught on surveillance camera, and we have a description of the car and license plate. You could tell Imogene wasn’t sure she was supposed to go with him. She is considered endangered because she is a Type I diabetic and medically fragile.”

  “Does that explain why she looks like she’s about half her age?”

  “I don’t know much about her personal history other than she spent a lot of time in the hospital as an infant. She was one sick child. We need to get Imogene back where she belongs.”

  “Okay, here is your poster. Let’s get this out into the world so we can find this little girl and put one family back together.”

  A scrolling message travels across my desktop, reminding me of the time. “I guess it’s time for me to officially call it a day.
I need to put up the closed-sign.”

  Usually, I have to use a special wand to reach the open and closed sign over the door, but Jameson simply reaches up and flips it closed for me. He takes a moment to brush the hair out of my face before he smiles. “We both know this sign means absolutely nothing. I know you are on the job 24/7.”

  Trying not to be distracted by Jameson’s closeness, I shrug. “It’s hard not to be. Missing kids don’t keep office hours.”

  “It’s hard for you to find balance in your life that way, though,” Jameson remarks as he pulls my hair off my neck and massages out the knots.

  “I’m trying. I gave up my job at Parchment & Page Turners. I couldn’t juggle the promotion here and my hours there. I felt like I was giving less than half of myself to both and it just wasn’t fair.”

  “It’s a smart move. You said it yourself; you got a promotion here. So, you’re making progress,” Jameson argues as he tucks me back against his chest and rubs his hands down my biceps and forearms, working the tension out of my muscles. “You’ll be able to focus more on missing kids. It is a positive thing that your attention won’t be divided.”

  I sigh as Jameson kisses my neck. “I hope it will be, eventually. Right now, I’m just feeling completely overwhelmed by my responsibilities. I hope my first case isn’t a fatality. Tyler’s not known for playing games — especially with the press. So, I’ll rest easier when I learn more about what’s going on.”

  I lean against him and rest my forehead against his as he leans down. I take a few moments to bask in his warmth and strength. Reluctantly I leave the comfort of Jameson’s arms and return to my desk. I feel a little better now. Things have been different between us since our conversation about Quinn.

  After a couple of minutes, my email box lights up with a series of messages all from Jameson. Not only has he resized the images for me, but he’s also already inserted them into the poster templates we use at Locate My Heart to augment the AMBER Alert already issued by the authorities. Just like that, the media package is ready to go out. I mouth a silent ‘thank you’ to Jameson as I smile and press send.

  I grab my purse from the bookshelf by my desk and shut off the computer system before I walk over to the intern station where Jameson is sitting. “Well, I guess it’s time to figure out what awaits us and more importantly whether there’s still hope for Asher.”

  My heart is racing as we enter the Sheriff’s Office. Every scenario playing out in my head is more horrible than the last. By the time we are escorted to Tyler’s office, my knees are shaking so violently I can barely stand. Jameson notices my difficulty and reaches out to steady me. “Take a deep breath. We don’t know anything yet,” he murmurs against my temple.

  I draw a quick sharp breath before I reply, “I know. I’m trying to remember that, but my brain simply won’t shut off.”

  “You can’t get ahead of the facts. It won’t help anything.”

  “I know that too. Unfortunately, sometimes I’m not all that logical. I like to lead with my heart.”

  “I’ve noticed,” Jameson responds with a grin. “What if this isn’t about Asher at all? What if it’s about Toby?”

  I stop so abruptly that Jameson runs into the back of me. “Does Ty even know about our search for your brother?”

  “I was helping Tyler’s sister-in-law, Madison, with a hard drive failure, and I mentioned our search to him.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He thinks it’s a great idea to bring you guys on board. It’s not exactly his jurisdiction since my parents live in a different county, but he says he’ll do whatever he can to help us.”

  Before I can say anything else, Tyler’s door swings wide open. “Sorry about that, I was tied up on a multi-jurisdictional conference call. Come on in.”

  Jameson and I shuffle in and sit on the old vinyl chairs in front of Ty’s desk. He offers us some cookies. “Go ahead, Heather is trying a new line of recipes for her bakery and wants feedback from as many people as possible. If I eat any more of these, they’re going to have to order me new uniforms.”

  Jameson grins. “All in the name of science — I’ll be a willing guinea pig.” He reaches across me and scoops up about eight cookies.

  Tyler gives me a pointed look. I shake my head as I admit, “I am too nervous to eat. I want to know what’s happening. Maybe after we get it all sorted out, my stomach will settle down.”

  Tyler’s eyebrows raise in surprise at my distress. “Geez, Kendall. I think I might’ve left you with the wrong impression. I didn’t bring you here to give you bad news. In fact, it appears I may have some positive news. It’s not a completely done deal yet, because we have to confirm his DNA, but it looks like we are on the trail to find Asher Livingston.”

  “Really? Why didn’t you call me to tell me that? That’s what you would usually do,” I insist.

  “If it was just my agency, I’d probably do just that — but there are lots of law enforcement agencies involved in this one. It’s complicated.”

  “What do you mean?” Jameson presses.

  “Well, the story gets pretty convoluted — which is why I called just the two of you. At this point, we are not prepared for this story to receive wider dissemination. We’re still confirming lots of details. It’s still early in the investigation, and all of these developments may or may not pan out. I’m including the two of you as representatives of Identity Bank and Locate My Heart because you are liaisons with the family and the media. For the moment, this briefing is private and confidential until I get clearance from the other law enforcement agencies involved to release the information to the public.”

  “Of course,” I mutter, curious about what could be so top-secret.

  “Enough beating around the bush. What do you know?” Jameson demands as he looks at Tyler intently.

  “If we can confirm this with DNA evidence, it would appear that Asher Livingston’s life might have been saved by an alert women’s ministry pastor at a church in Arizona.”

  “What do you mean?” I ask.

  “Pastor Alvarez sensed something was not right in her congregation. One of her parishioners, Naomi Fitzgerald, was set to adopt a little boy. Unfortunately, that child died as a result of an umbilical cord accident during birth. Ms. Fitzgerald was understandably distraught and asked for prayers from her women’s group at church. Pastor Martina Alvarez became concerned when Ms. Fitzgerald’s aunt, Latrice Rann, showed up with a new baby boy, complete with all new baby gear. When Pastor Alvarez saw the postings on Locate My Heart, she knew something was dreadfully wrong. She felt compelled to alert authorities and get the ball rolling.”

  “Why would Latrice Rann take Asher in Oregon if she’s from Arizona?” I ask, hanging on every word.

  “That one detail was how we identified this a solid lead and not just someone seeking their fifteen minutes of fame. Ms. Rann works as part of the janitorial staff at the strip mall where Asher Livingston was taken.”

  “What are they waiting for? Why hasn’t she been arrested? It seems simple enough to me. Asher Livingston doesn’t belong to Latrice Rann.”

  Tyler pops a cookie in his mouth before he answers, “I’m inclined to agree with you, but that’s not how it works when you have multiple agencies and states involved. The good news is that Asher is in the custody of law enforcement officials and we are in the process of confirming his DNA so he can be reunited with his parents.”

  “I may be reading a bit between the lines, but is there something else going on?” I ask as Tyler pauses awkwardly.

  “It’s hard to know, but the local authorities in Arizona are being awfully closed-mouth about Naomi Fitzgerald,” Tyler answers with a sigh. “Between you and me, I have a good gut feeling about Naomi. I spoke to her for several minutes. She is mortified by the stunt her aunt pulled. Her whole world has gone crazy. This poor couple was getting ready to adopt a handsome baby boy and then had to go through losing it to stillbirth, only to be caught up in a kidnapp
ing drama. She doesn’t know how to explain Latrice’s actions. Naomi was as surprised as anyone else. I firmly believe she had no idea that her aunt was planning to ‘fix’ her problem like this. Naomi was completely horrified and disgusted by the actions of her aunt. I don’t think she colluded with Latrice Rann at all. But, I’m only one sheriff on this whole case. My opinion carries next to no weight.”

  “I guess I am a little confused. I don’t understand why we’re not popping open the bubbly here. This is good news, right? Asher is safe and being checked out at the hospital, correct?”

  Tyler nods.

  I look over at Jameson for confirmation. “What am I missing?”

  Jameson shrugs. “They’re probably just waiting for DNA confirmation. Something about this case must strike one of the investigators as odd.”

  Jameson’s words ring true to me. Suddenly, it all makes sense.

  “I think I get it now. I bet the authorities can’t quite bring themselves to believe the abduction of Asher was as random as it was, and they want to take a closer look at Bethany. If you add the complicating factor of the stillbirth and the adoption into the kidnapping, it just becomes exponentially more complex, and your list of potential ‘suspects’ grows ever wider. The sad part is, most of the people caught up in the net have nothing to do with Asher’s kidnapping. They just happen to be tangentially related.”

  Tyler takes a long sip of his coffee. “I might quibble with a couple of details here and there. However, the basic premise of your argument is correct. We try to go into each case with no preconceptions, but in reality, that’s not how it works. We all have our biases which carry over from past cases. In this case, there are so many complex issues weaved together that each investigator has to overcome their own biases to come up with a theory of the case that makes sense. I think the complex nature of the case makes it harder to see the big picture.”