Heart Wish

by Mary Crawford

  “I get lots of odd questions in this job, don’t worry about it.”

  “Did you ever get a chance to speak directly to Naomi Fitzgerald?”

  “Briefly. She called after the whole event was over to apologize for her aunt’s behavior.”

  “What’d you think of her? Did you get a good gut feeling? Do you think she was genuine or do you think she really wanted to take Asher?”

  “This is only my opinion, but I believe she was an innocent bystander that was caught up in her aunt’s delusion. I don’t think she had anything to do with it. She was just trying to cope with an adoption gone terribly wrong.”

  “I’m glad to hear that because that’s how I feel too, but Edwin thinks I’m crazy.”

  “Has she contacted you guys?” I ask as my stomach tightens with unease.

  “Yes, I got a beautiful handwritten letter from her apologizing for the whole incident. She would like to meet me for coffee to apologize in person because she’s going to be in Oregon for a conference. She’s willing to meet me in Portland to talk.”

  “How do you feel about that?”

  “I want to look her in the face and see what I think. I’m still trying to figure out why this happened to my family. Maybe she has answers.”

  “Would you like me to go with you?” I offer.

  “No, you’ve gone above and beyond the call of duty to help us. I need to face this one on my own.”

  “Are you sure? Because it’s no bother.”

  “Okay, I would feel better if you were there. Can you sit a couple of tables away? I can signal you if I need you.”

  “That sounds like a good plan. When is Naomi coming?”

  “A month from today. She wants to meet at three o’clock in the afternoon because her conference ends at noon.”

  I open the calendar app on my computer. “I’m completely free that day, so I’ll put you on my schedule.”

  “Now, I have to convince my husband I haven’t completely lost my marbles. Men can be so difficult.”

  My phone pings again twice in a row to indicate I have messages. I scowl at my cell phone before saying to Bethany, “I’ll give you an amen to that!”

  I wait until seven thirty before I check my messages. As I suspected, almost all of them are from Jameson. But there is one from my brother announcing that he will be here early. My knees buckle with relief.

  I text him back and tease, Is there any way you can get here tomorrow?

  A message pops up immediately.

  Do you need me there?

  Honestly, I’d love it if you could come tomorrow. Things are really complicated here.

  “Sis, all you had to do was ask,” he texts back.

  I tire of texting him, so I change to FaceTime and wait for him to answer.

  “What happened to you? You look terrible — are you having trouble sleeping again?” he asks.

  “Yeah, things are a mess in my life. I am officially asking for a favor,” I respond. “You might get rewarded with peanut butter and chocolate chip cookies when all this is all over.”

  “You know I’m always up for those. Mostly I’ve always wanted to walk into the airport and buy a first-class ticket to leave last-minute and not worry about the price.”

  I laugh out loud. “You’re such a weirdo!”

  “Yeah, but you’re my twin, so what does that say about you?” Will responds, relying on a taunt from childhood.

  “Let me know if you want me to pick you up at the airport.”

  “Are you kidding? Do you know what kind of car I can rent with a card that has no credit limit on it?”

  “Careful, Will. You’re going to spend yourself into the poor house again,” I warn.

  “You’re such a party pooper. Maybe you’ll change your mind when you get to ride in my cool set of wheels.”

  “Maybe, but I doubt it,” I answer. “I’ll see you tomorrow. I love you.”

  After I hang up with William, I read the text messages from Jameson. Each one is progressively less hopeful and his final text breaks my heart.

  If you wanted off my brother’s case, all you had to do was say something. You didn’t have to destroy us. I feel like a fool for believing you were different from the rest.

  Jameson, as much as I want to talk to you, I can’t. Please contact Tyler. He can explain more. Hopefully, I’ll be able to tell you the whole story soon.

  I wait for him to respond and nothing comes. In a pattern that’s becoming all too frequent, I cry myself to sleep.

  CHAPTER 16

  JAMESON

  I PLACE A COLD TOWEL around my neck as I guzzle a bottle of water. I take a moment to rest my head on the back of the couch as I cool down. I try to keep my thoughts on my job, but all I can think about is getting things resolved with Kendall.

  Tara walks through the break room at Silent Beats. “I brought you something, I figured you might need it after spending the morning in the crawlspace.” She offers me an Aidan O’Brien T-shirt emblazoned with the word crew on the back.

  I gratefully take it from her.

  “Aidan has showers upstairs if you want to take one. You’re bigger than Aidan, but I’m sure Jerome has an extra pair of jeans you can borrow.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate that. Fiberglass is nasty. I’ve got all the wiring from the new system hidden now though. There should be enough power for both the recording system and the computer network now that you had the electrician put in a new box. Before I started working for you guys, I had no concept of what a complex process it is to record a song.”

  “I felt the same way when I first saw Aidan record a duet. I grew up listening to him play the piano, and that was complicated enough. When you add all the sound engineering and mixing of voices, it gets really technical.”

  “Says the ballet dancer,” I tease.

  My phone buzzes to indicate I have a text message and I eagerly check the screen. Unfortunately, it’s just Joe Summers asking me if he needs to pay the bill for trash pickup.

  After I respond to him, I scroll through my messages again to see if I missed anything from Kendall. I’m still trying to wrap my brain around what could be causing her to stay away from me. I need to take a break and go talk to Tyler.

  “Hey, after I take a shower, I need to bug out for a while. I’ll be back tomorrow to hang the last cameras and your new monitor in the rehearsal room. Is that all right with you?”

  “Of course. Why do you think I brought you clean clothes? I’ll put Jerome’s jeans outside the bathroom door. I don’t know what to tell you about Kendall. I’ve been in her shoes more times than I care to count. Sometimes, when you know more than you can disclose, it puts you in a no-win situation. Please listen to what Tyler has to say, and try to look at it from Kendall’s point of view. I suspect you’ll find that she is trying to work for your best interests — even if it might not seem like it right now. I know you have no reason to trust me, but I believe Kendall is trying to save your relationship.”

  “Why? What did she do wrong? Why is she trying to hide from me? If she wants to sort all this out, why doesn’t she do it directly with me?” I demand.

  “Sometimes, it’s a matter of timing. Trust me. You’re just going to have to wait this one out.”

  “You sound like my mom. That’s what she told me.”

  “You might want to listen to her,” Tara says with a shrug.

  I yank my hat off and throw it on the couch along with the damp towel as I sit down and take my shoes off. “I don’t understand why no one will be straight with me. Everybody keeps telling me I need to wait to find answers. I’m not the one who backed away. Why can’t I just talk this out with Kendall?”

  “I don’t think you heard me. Kendall is trying to protect you and your relationship. You can go into the meeting with Tyler believing the best about Kendall or you can feed your own fears about the situation. It’s up to you. I’m sorry, I’ve already said more than I probably should — but, I don’t want you to throw
away a chance at happiness just because Kendall is trying to do the right thing.”

  “What right thing?” I bellow. “I thought things were getting better between us, but now I don’t know. If we can’t talk through our problems or differences, what point is there in being in a relationship?”

  After I take a seat in Tyler Colton’s office, he doesn’t even bother with polite small talk before he drills down on me. “Are you done being a jerk? I thought you were through with that phase of your relationship with Kendall. Either you trust her or you don’t. If she tells you she can’t talk to you, there’s a reason why. I need you to respect that. Read between the lines here. As a law enforcement officer, I need you to understand that Kendall can’t talk to you. It’s not personal — at least not in the way you’re assuming. So, back off and leave her alone until this is resolved. Please ... you are complicating my life.”

  I sink back against the vinyl chair as I absorb the Sheriff’s words. That’s the most words I have ever heard Tyler string together in a row. Generally, he doesn’t say much. He is pretty low-key and non-confrontational. For him to challenge me directly means this must be serious. “Kendall isn’t in any danger, is she?”

  Tyler looks startled by my question. “Not as far as I know. This is about an issue much larger than the future of your relationship with Kendall — which, by the way, you guys need to fix after this is over.”

  “How can it be bigger than the future of us?” All the pieces of some weird kaleidoscope in my brain suddenly come together with nauseating clarity. “Crap, she knows something about Toby. Is he dead? Is she afraid to tell me that she didn’t get to him in time? She promised me that if we reopened the search, she would do her best to bring him back to my family. Now, she’s ducking out. If he’s dead, why wouldn’t she just tell me? If this is how Locate My Heart treats families, their customer service needs a tune-up,” I rage.

  Tyler stands up. Even when I stand up and match his posture, his height is impressive and imposing as he says, “You best think about the words that are flying out of your mouth. They won’t taste very good when you have to eat them. Calm down and stop making assumptions. To repeat what I said before: Kendall told you that she can’t talk to you at the moment. You need to honor that. What you decide to do with your relationship isn’t part of my responsibilities as a sheriff. But, as your friend, I’m telling you not to jump to conclusions that are going to chip away at the foundation of your relationship with Kendall. It’s just not worth it.”

  Tyler’s curt tone with me reminds me of my days in basic training. Instinctively, I straighten my posture and fight the urge to salute as I turn on my heel and say, “Thank you for the advice, sir. Perhaps one day it will make sense.”

  “For your sake, I hope it does,” Tyler tosses toward my back as I stride out of his office.

  As usual, I find my father working in his wood shop. “What are you working on?” I greet.

  “Oh, your mother nicked her favorite pair of knitting needles, so I decided to make her some new ones for her birthday.” He holds one up for me to see.

  “Dad, those are beautiful. Mom is going to love them. When you’re done with that project, I brought you a piece of wood for your walking canes.” I hold it sideways so he can see the wood pattern under the place I stripped off the bark. “I love the grain on this one. There are little burls everywhere.”

  My dad takes it from me and examines it carefully. “Wow, isn’t that something? Where did you find this?”

  “Would you believe I found it just off the jogging path behind Kendall’s house? It must’ve blown down in the big windstorm we had a couple of weeks ago.”

  “Where is that gal of yours? I love it when she comes to visit me because she brings the most delicious food. I never know what it’s going to be, but I’m never disappointed.”

  “Well, you might be disappointed now. I don’t know if Kendall is going to be around anymore.”

  “What do you mean, son?”

  “At the moment, we’re not exactly talking.”

  “Ahh ... I see. Your mom and I have been there many times.”

  “Seriously? I always figured you guys never fought. I never remember seeing any arguments as a kid.”

  “We tried to keep it from you and your brother. When two strong-minded people get together, there’s bound to be conflict. So, you’ve got two choices — you can try to talk through it, or you can give her some space to come around.”

  “I don’t think I have much choice. Kendall’s not even responding to my voicemails or text messages. She says she can’t talk to me right now.”

  “So, space it is. I know that by nature you want to fix everything. But sometimes, time is the only tool you need.”

  I scrub my hand down my face in frustration as I say, “Why does everyone keep telling me that?”

  “Sometimes the answer we don’t want to hear is the correct one.”

  “Dad, you sound like a fortune cookie,” I reply with a chuckle.

  “That might be true, but it doesn’t mean my advice isn’t sound.”

  “I just wish I had all this settled. I have decisions I need to make.”

  “What kind of decisions?” my dad asks.

  “Tristan Macklin offered me a gargantuan promotion. I’m still trying to decide what to do.”

  “Isn’t that a good thing?” My dad asks with a perplexed expression

  “Normally it would be, but Tristan wants me to be in charge of developing a whole new branch of Identity Bank on the West Coast. I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of responsibility.”

  “Son, you were in the U.S. Army. You were in charge of keeping our men alive. I can’t think of any bigger responsibility than that. If you can handle that, setting up a new business should be a total cakewalk.”

  My dad and I don’t talk much about my military service. When I first joined directly after high school, my parents as lifelong educators were disappointed I decided not to go to college. Over the years, they’ve come to accept that the military was a good choice for me. Still, I had no idea my dad thought of my service in such glowing terms.

  “The thing is, as homesick as I am, I don’t want to make a move all the way back here and regret it because Kendall and I keep running into each other in our mutual circle of friends — that would be hell. I didn’t plan on it, but I’ve given Kendall my heart. I never realized how perfect she is for me until she disappeared from my life.”

  “When the time is right, make sure you tell her how you feel — and I’m not just saying that because I want you to get your butt back in Oregon. It might be hard at the moment, but it won’t be hard forever.”

  “Dad, that’s just the thing ... I’m afraid I’ve blown it and I’m not sure what I did exactly. I thought we had worked through our problems and now I’m not so sure. I can’t fix what I don’t understand.”

  “Then you need to work harder on understanding what the problem is. Even if that means being patient until she can tell you what the real issue is.”

  “You may have noticed that patience isn’t my long suit,” I admit with a shrug.

  My dad laughs out loud. “At what point in this conversation did you forget that you are my son? This is not a newsflash to me. I’ve known you since the day you were born. The interesting thing about being in a relationship is they allow us to work on our weaknesses. So, get to it, son. It may be the most important thing you ever do.”

  CHAPTER 17

  KENDALL

  BRYNLEY RUNS INTO MY OFFICE. She looks flushed and out of breath. “I don’t know how you do it, but there’s another cute guy sitting out in the parking lot asking for you.”

  I smile at her wide-eyed expression. “Is he there now? What is he driving?”

  “I was so distracted by his looks, I wasn’t paying too much attention to his car, but I think it’s a brand-new convertible Mustang. He’s a man after my own heart. I love the red ones. I wish I could take a spin in it,” she adds w
istfully.

  “Let’s go see who my mystery visitor is. If it’s who I think it is, he’d probably be happy to take you for a ride.”

  Brynley rushes ahead of me to look out the window.

  “Come on, I’ll introduce you.”

  “You actually know this guy? He’s hot!” she exclaims.

  “If you say so. He’s not really my thing.”

  “How can he not be your thing? All those luscious eyelashes and his dimples go on for days,” Brynley mumbles under her breath as we get closer to the car.

  I walk up to the driver side and lean over and kiss him on the cheek. “I see you didn’t pay any attention to my advice. You should listen to your sister. Nice wheels though.”

  “It was anticlimactic, if you want to know the truth. The guy at the rental place just wanted me to sign the credit card receipt. Nobody seemed to care that I rented the nicest car on the lot.”

  “Of course, they didn’t. The rental car company was just interested in getting paid. They don’t care where your money came from,” I answer with a chortle of laughter. “Did you expect them to throw you a parade?”

  Will looks crestfallen. “No, I guess not. I don’t know what I expected — I just thought it would be a bigger deal than it turned out to be. I mean, the car is nice, but it’s still just a car.”

  Brynley flips her hair over her shoulder as she says, “Just a car? Bite your tongue. This is a cherry-red Mustang Convertible. If I don’t miss my guess, it’s this year’s model.”

  “Sis, you’ve been holding out on me. Who is this vision of loveliness and brains?” Will asks as he steps out of the rental car.

  I roll my eyes at my brother’s antics. Before I can answer, Brynley steps forward. “Hi, I’m Brynley. I’m an intern here. I’m studying to be a social worker.”

  “Impressive,” my brother comments as he flashes his most charming grin.