The Spider Queen

by Emma Slate

  I have to cool the conversation for a bit, I told Thane. My cousin’s home and—

  Say no more.

  I also have a date tonight.

  When Thane said nothing for a good few minutes, I mentally reached out. Thane?

  Nothing. Great. I had a jealous spider on my hands. This just kept getting weirder and weirder. Some twisted brand of erotica.

  Arachnerotica. I snorted.

  “Poppy?” Anita called out. “You home?”

  “Yeah!” I yelled back, putting my head through the T-shirt.

  “Can I come in?”

  “Door’s unlocked.”

  Anita came into my room and sat down on my bed. “Did you drive my car? It’s parked in a different spot.”

  “Yeah. Sorry. Forgot to text you.”

  “All good.” She peered at me. “You look better than you did this morning. What did you do today? Nap?”

  “A little,” I fibbed. “I went for a drive. Blew off all my classes. Took some time for me.”

  “Good.” She nodded. “That’s good. I think you’ve been working too hard. I think it’s getting to you.”

  Latching on to that idea, I felt a twinge of guilt as I nodded in agreement. “I think you’re right.”

  “It’s okay to have fun, you know? Don’t work yourself into the ground. Enjoy your time with Hunter tonight.”

  I grinned. “I will.”

  She looked at my ratty T-shirt and jeans. “You’re not wearing that, are you?”

  Chapter 13

  “It’s a quarter to seven,” I said to Anita.

  She looked up from her phone screen. “Guys are always late.”

  “Forty five minutes late? Not Hunter. He’s not the type.”

  “He’s probably standing in front of the mirror fixing his hair just to make sure it’s perfect for you.”

  “He doesn’t seem like the overly primping type,” I said.

  “Then what’s your theory?”

  “He blew me off.”

  “What? That’s crazy! He’s clearly into you. And you guys slept together last night!”

  “Not really,” I reminded her. “We actually just slept. He probably thought about how much of a head case I am and decided I wasn’t worth the effort.”

  Her eyes saddened. “Poppy—”

  “This is why this shit never works,” I said, my voice hard. “You let someone in and then they can hurt you.” I waved a hand down my body. “I actually made an effort.”

  “And you look amazing! This is bullshit. I’m calling Jonah!”

  “Hold up.” I grabbed the phone from her and held onto it. “What good would that do?”

  “Um, get us some information. Like where he is?” She stared at me. “You don’t want to know?”

  “Of course I do. But I’m not asking your boyfriend. I want to hear from Hunter why he didn’t show.”

  “What if he never calls to explain?”

  “He will.”

  She blinked. “You’re giving him the benefit of the doubt?”

  “He let me into his bed last night, didn’t demand that I explain why I was there or ask me to talk about anything. Don’t I owe him a pass?”

  “It’s your first date—and he stood you up.”

  “Our first date was the night of his house party.”

  “Unofficially,” she claimed. “It’s not a date unless he buys you food.”

  I shrugged again. “Fine. I won’t argue with you. I’ll give Hunter a chance to explain, but I’m not giving him another chance to date me.”

  “Really? But you seemed so excited.”

  “I was,” I admitted. “But then I let him in and he disappointed me.”

  “You might be biased. Your background—”

  “You’re not allowed to have an opinion on that. Your parents are still together. And they’re happy.”

  She rubbed the bridge of her nose. “You look so cute, too.”

  “Yeah, because you dressed me.”

  “And your hair is down and beautiful. We should go out. I’ll take you out!”

  I hugged her. “You’re the best cousin I could ever hope for. But please, don’t worry about it. Okay? Let me feel through this the way I know how.”

  She blew out a puff of air. “Okay.”

  “You have plans with Jonah tonight?”

  “No. I’m going out with some theater people. You want to come?”

  I shook my head. “I think I just want a night in.”

  “You sure? Theater kids know how to party.”

  “Yeah, I know,” I said with a laugh. “You’ll be coming home at dawn.”

  “If all goes well.” She picked up her purse and held out her hand for her phone.

  I was just about to give it back to her when I clutched it a moment longer. “No asking Jonah about Hunter.”

  Looking disgruntled, she nodded. “If he volunteers any information?”

  “Different. No pestering, though.”

  With one last hug, she left. Before the door had even shut, I had my hair in a ponytail and my shoes off.

  Are you speaking to me? I asked.

  Why wouldn’t I be?

  I opened the door to my bedroom and glared at Thane. Because you were silent for the last two hours after I told you I had a date.

  Why aren’t you on your date?

  He didn’t show.

  You don’t seem upset. Most women would be upset if a man didn’t show up for their date.

  I am upset. But what does getting angry and yelling do about it? I hope he has a good excuse as to why he bailed.

  Gonna give him another chance?

  Not romantically. But he was becoming a friend. I could always use another friend.

  You’re not like most women.

  Thanks. I guess.

  It was a compliment.

  How do you know I’m not like most women? Have you had other women owners?

  You’re not my owner, he snapped.

  Touchy, touchy.

  I felt Thane contract into himself. I’m sorry. I don’t think of myself as your owner. You’re not a pet. But I don’t know what to call you. There’s no word to define what the hell this is. You’re a spider. I’m a human. You say you’re not dead, but you’re petrified and look pretty dead to me.

  Valid point, human.

  Rolling my eyes, I replied. Am I forgiven, spider?

  Yes.

  Good. Fighting is exhausting.

  Agreed.

  I’m getting a beer and then I’m coming back in here and I’m going to ask you twenty questions.

  About?

  You. I’m going to badger you until you answer my questions.

  I’ll be here.

  Where else would you go?

  I have ways.

  Yeah?

  Not telling you.

  Damn that gentle amusement. It got me every time.

  Are you really one of a kind?

  Yes.

  Can anyone hear you?

  A select few. Don’t bother asking who. Next question, Poppy.

  Can you breathe underwater?

  Pause. In a sense. Yes.

  So I didn’t kill you when I threw you into the lake?

  No.

  Are you dead?

  No.

  Are you alive?

  Sort of.

  “What?” I shouted out loud. “How can you be ‘sort of’ alive?”

  Take a drink.

  I don’t want a drink.

  It was your idea to switch from beer to vodka. The vodka will help. Trust me.

  I took a sip of the vodka cranberry and grimaced. I hated the flavor, but it was Anita’s drink of choice for pre-gaming, thus we had vodka and cranberry in abundance.

  Are you going to tell me what’s what?

  No.

  Fuck you, Thane.

  Okay, maybe you’ve had enough vodka.

  The damn spider was right, but fuck if I was going to listen to him. I threw back the r
est of the drink. I was spinning in circles. Each question hatched five more. And when Thane wouldn’t explain, it drove me crazy.

  Will you calm down? I can feel you whipping yourself into a frenzy.

  You’ll never confide in me.

  I swore I could sense an eye roll.

  Just earlier today, you were convinced that you were going insane. You didn’t trust yourself—you didn’t trust me. Forgive me if I’m hesitant to give you all the answers you seek. There are some things you don’t get to know. Not right now.

  I want to throw you in the lake again, I seethed.

  I heard him sigh. Please, don’t. It takes…a lot…to get out from the bottom of a lake. It’s not like I can swim, you know?

  No, I don’t know.

  Patience, Poppy. In time, you’ll know everything.

  Yeah, when you deem it the right time. You keep asking questions and want me to answer them. You ask about my mother and our relationship… Do you think it’s easy for me to talk about that? Do you think I like opening that box?

  I got up off the floor and moved to the bed. It was just past ten, and I was tired. And drunk. And angry. So, so angry.

  Sleep, he whispered. You’ll feel better.

  Don’t tell me what I need. You’re not the boss of me.

  You’re right. I’m not.

  Almost against my will, my eyes closed. I felt as though my body was being swaddled in a silken wrap.

  In my dream, I couldn’t open my eyes, but I could feel.

  Everything.

  Hands on my body, lips against mine, naked skin slick with sweat. I moaned and writhed and came.

  “Come to me,” he whispered. “Open your eyes.”

  My dream-eyes opened, and I stared into the face of the dark-haired man with dark eyes. The yearning in his gaze tugged my heart. I gripped the back of his neck and pulled him to me, drinking of his lips like I was dying of thirst.

  “I must go,” he said, pulling away.

  “No.”

  “I’ll return.”

  “When?”

  He didn’t answer as his body began to fade, like a ghost becoming a shadow. I reached for him and caught air.

  I woke up sobbing.

  Chapter 14

  I stretched my arms over my head and slowly opened my eyes. They felt swollen and puffy.

  Turning my head, I gazed at the wall. I sat up quickly; my head throbbed with a dull headache, like it couldn’t decide if it wanted to be hungover. Reaching for my glasses on the nightstand, I squinted at the far wall.

  It all came into focus and bile surged up from my belly into my throat.

  On the wall was a drawing in permanent marker of the man who’d been plaguing my dreams.

  “Did I do this?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.

  Yes.

  “When?”

  Middle of the night. You were asleep. You drew for two hours and then collapsed into bed.

  Why didn’t you wake me? I looked at Thane; his color was darker—I’d address that later.

  Didn’t want to wake you. Wanted to see what you did.

  What if I’d decided to sleepwalk out of the apartment? I could’ve seriously hurt myself.

  But you didn’t.

  I approached the wall and gently touched the outline of the jaw. I wasn’t an artist—my skills were limited to drawing spiders. This was something else entirely, but I’d somehow captured the intensity of his gaze, the ferocity of his jaw.

  I couldn’t let Anita see this. She’d worry. Hell, I was worried. Who drew in their sleep?

  Would this have happened if Hunter had slept next to me? Would he have prevented me from getting up and drawing on my wall?

  Ignoring the art for the moment, I went to get my cell phone in the living room. I had no missed calls or texts from Hunter. Hurt all over again, I fired off a text, telling him how disappointed I was that our date never happened.

  I went back into my bedroom. Glancing at the wall, I shivered when I vaguely recalled what had happened in my dream. That had not been a normal, healthy sex dream. It had been something else entirely.

  But what?

  I threw on clothes, grabbed my bag, and headed out of the apartment.

  Thane’s voice appeared in my mind, Where are you going?

  To buy paint.

  Why?

  Seriously?

  It’s beautiful. Why would you want to cover it up?

  So others don’t question my sanity.

  Others? Or you?

  I severed the mental connection with Thane and hurried to the hardware store. I grabbed a bucket of paint, a handful of brushes, and a roller. Dropping them on the counter, I waited impatiently for the girl to ring me up. She placed everything in a bag and handed it to me.

  As I left the store, I ran into a classmate.

  “Poppy!” Francis hugged me quickly and then stepped back. “What’s going on?”

  “Oh,” I lifted the hardware store bag, “just redecorating.”

  “Cool. So, can you believe Dr. Carrington? Making the test worth fifty percent of our final grade?”

  I frowned. “Uh, when did she announce this?”

  “Few days ago.”

  “What the fuck!” I yelled. My anger made my classmate flinch. “How did I miss this?”

  It dawned on me that I was in danger of failing parasitology, and it was because I was losing my mind. Not good.

  “I don’t know,” he drawled. “You want to study together?”

  Breathing a sigh of relief, I nodded. “Yeah. That’d be great.”

  Francis’s face brightened. “Library later?”

  “Yes.”

  We exchanged phone numbers and had plans to meet at five. I needed to get my shit together—there was too much at stake at the moment to be distracted by…all that I was distracted by.

  After saying goodbye to Francis, I ran home. I couldn’t afford to blow off another day of classes, so I shoved the paint supplies in the corner of my bedroom and then showered.

  You’re leaving again? Thane asked.

  I tied my tennis shoes and mentally said, I have to go to my classes. I’m falling behind.

  Thane’s disgruntlement came through.

  I packed up my notes and books and then went over to my laptop and opened Netflix in a new browser.

  I put a stack of library books on my desk chair and then placed Thane in his cube at the top.

  What are you doing?

  Have you met Meredith and Derek?

  Who?

  Trust me. You’ve got fourteen seasons to power through.

  I left the spider in a cube watching Grey’s Anatomy.

  I’d officially lost it.

  Derek has a WIFE?

  Thane’s question blasted into my mind, causing me to laugh out loud in the middle of a lecture.

  Professor Walsh looked at me and frowned. “Do you find the disappearance of our wetlands amusing?”

  I hastily shook my head. “Nope. Not funny at all. Save the ducks!”

  Professor Walsh shook her head and went back to droning on while I attempted to pay attention. But it was no use because Thane would not be ignored.

  Hello? Poppy? This is serious.

  So are my grades!

  Through the rest of my class, I was distracted and I didn’t bother taking any notes. Thankfully the lecture came to an end, Professor Walsh gave us some assigned reading, and I was running for the exit before I’d even properly packed up my stuff. I carried it all in my arms, looking like a disheveled mess.

  My phone vibrated, and I hoped like hell it was Hunter. He hadn’t replied to my morning text, and I grew even more despondent when I saw it wasn’t from him.

  It was Anita asking if I was on my way home. I shot out a quick Yes.

  When I walked into the apartment, Anita was at the kitchen counter making a sandwich. My stomach rumbled, reminding me that I’d forgotten to eat all day.

  “So, I’m not going to b
eat around the bush,” Anita began, turning to look at me.

  “Okay.”

  “I came home from Jonah’s this morning and heard sounds coming from your bedroom.”

  “I think I left Netflix on,” I hastened to explain.

  She stared at me with worried, brown eyes. “You propped up your creepy spider in front of the screen. Like it was watching TV.”

  He, I wanted to say but didn’t. That wouldn’t help the situation at all. I had no answer or lie ready for her, so I remained silent.

  “Then I saw your wall. What the fuck, Poppy? This is no longer funny. I’m worried about you.”

  “I’m fine,” I said, wishing I’d had made the time to throw paint over the marker drawing. “I’m just feeling really creative and imaginative lately.”

  “No, don’t do that. Don’t sweep this under the rug. You’re not acting like yourself. You’re blowing off classes and drawing on the walls. You don’t draw.” She shook her head. “I hear you talking to yourself and I know you’re lying. I just can’t figure out what it’s about. And don’t get me started about that creepy as fuck spider in a cube.”

  She continued to stare at me and then growled in frustration. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

  “What am I supposed to say? It’s not like you’ll believe me if I tell you.”

  “Try me.”

  “There are some things that are just unexplainable.”

  “Do you even hear yourself? You’re a student of science! You’re all about reason and logic. If I were acting the way you’re acting, what would you think was happening?”

  “I know,” I said on a sigh.

  “Will you go see someone?”

  “See someone?”

  “A doctor. Maybe to get something to help you sleep.”

  “Sure. If it makes you feel better.”

  “It would.”

  “I’ll make an appointment at the health center.”

  She let out a breath, looking relieved. “I love you, you know.”

  I smiled, burying my fears that all this would blow up in my face. “I love you, too.”

  Chapter 15

  I told the doctor on campus I wasn’t sleeping: truth. I told him it was because of schoolwork: lie.

  He asked a few questions and then gave me a prescription for a mild sleeping pill. While I waited in line at CVS to fill the prescription, I carried on a mental conversation with Thane.