The Spider Queen

by Emma Slate

  He continued to stare at me all the while saying nothing.

  “There’s another little issue you’ve yet to clarify…”

  Lucifer raised his eyebrows. “Which is?”

  “How long am I to remain your prisoner?” I demanded. “Surely there’s a statute of limitation on this sort of thing.”

  He smiled faintly. “There isn’t.”

  I blinked. “I’m here indefinitely?”

  “Yes.”

  “Here. Forever. With you,” I whispered.

  “Not as my prisoner, Stella,” he said. His voice sounded like it came from every crevice of the cavern. I was swaddled in it. “As a balm.”

  I felt his pain and lust as if they were my own. I closed my eyes, trying to battle against it. There was a rush of air at my neck and my eyes opened. Lucifer was gone and I was alone. I was both angry and relieved.

  I was trapped—and my good sense told me not to try and leave the way we’d come in; I wouldn’t survive the heat. Lucifer had been the buffer.

  And I was relieved because I no longer felt the aching, blinding lust I had felt in his presence. And what the hell was that about, anyway? Me, attracted to the Prince of Darkness? Or had he manipulated my feelings? I wasn’t at all sure what he was capable of, but he’d clearly had no qualms about demanding me in the form of payment for saving my mother’s life.

  Mother.

  And just like that my rage was back again. Only this time, it was a tidal wave of wrath. How dare he? What did he expect me to do for him? He’d called me his balm. Did that mean he wished me to ease his pain? Did he really think I was capable of that? Dealing with human emotions was one thing, but the ruler of Hell?

  I swallowed.

  There was that pesky little attraction that was between us. Like a live wire. I’d never felt anything like it before, not even on a smaller scale. Not for a human male. But to feel it for an evil fallen angel?

  Did he expect me to…

  Would he take away my choice? Would he render me inert, like when he’d tried to put me to sleep? Would he use my body whenever he wanted?

  If that was what he’d desired, why hadn’t he taken me yet? Instead, he’d left me alone in safety. He’d claimed it was so I could figure out my own feelings, reconcile everything I remembered, but what if he’d needed the space away from me? Maybe he felt things he didn’t want to feel. Maybe he was taken by surprise.

  Was that even possible?

  I flopped back onto the bed and stared at the cavern ceiling, mentally making a note to ask him when he deigned to show up again. But for the moment, there was nothing more I could do.

  So, I did the only thing I could. I rolled over, grabbed a pillow, and tried to sleep.

  Something wet dribbled on my cheek. I cracked open an eye and let out an involuntary scream. A dog the size of a cocker spaniel was looming over me. That hadn’t been what had terrified me. It was the dog’s three heads, six brown eyes, and three tongues just waiting to lick my bones clean that scared the living daylights out of me.

  There was a chuckle, followed by, “Down, Cerberus.”

  The three-headed dog whined but then dutifully listened and jumped off the bed.

  “He’s harmless,” Lucifer said, coming to stand by the bedside. He’d somehow found a shirt.

  Unfortunately.

  I wiped a glob of drool off my face and sat up. “What are you doing here?” I mumbled.

  He smiled. “I live here.”

  “Are you ever going to let me see the sun again?” I asked. “Or did I piss you off when I jumped from the room in the clouds? Is this my punishment? To be kept underground? I’m not a mole.”

  “You were far more charming the first night we met.”

  “Pot, meet Kettle.”

  He let out a low chuckle. Cerberus whimpered and wagged his three tails. “Fancy a nighttime walk?” Lucifer asked.

  “Is it still night?”

  He nodded.

  “A walk with you?”

  “Who else?”

  “How long was I asleep?” I asked.

  “Few hours. Come on, let’s get some fresh air.”

  “I don’t have any shoes.”

  “So ask for them.”

  I gritted my teeth. “May I have shoes?”

  In a flash, a pair of flip-flops appeared. My eyes landed on Cerberus who was panting eagerly, as if he knew he was about to go outside.

  “Does he fetch?” I asked snidely.

  Lucifer’s grin widened. “When I ask nicely. He’s a hellhound, so all bets are off.”

  “You mean your hellhound doesn’t even listen to you?”

  “He’s not mine. Not originally. He belonged to Hades.”

  I blinked. “Right. And you stole him from Hades?”

  “Who said anything about stealing?” he asked, his brow furrowing. “I won him in a poker game.”

  “Did you cheat?”

  “Who do you think I am?” he demanded.

  “Um, Satan?”

  Lucifer grinned. “No, I didn’t cheat. We have an honor code when we play poker.”

  “Code of honor. That’s rich. Coming from you.” I jumped up from the bed. I followed him through the tunnel toward the volcano, Cerberus running ahead of us and then darting back when he didn’t think we were moving fast enough.

  “Are you going to fly us both out the way we came in?”

  “There’s more than one entrance into my haven, Stella.”

  “How am I supposed to know that?”

  “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed,” he teased.

  I ran in front of him, forcing him to stop. “Okay. That’s enough.”

  His sexy smirk didn’t disappear. “I’m not following.”

  “This hot and cold bullshit. One moment, I get the charming Lucifer from the masquerade, which by the way is so not something that I ever expected to hear coming from my own mouth. The next I get the shirtless, beastly, angry Lucifer. The one who can’t seem to stand me, yet is determined to keep me here.”

  “Determined? Haven’t you realized it yet? I don’t need to do anything to keep you here. I could let you wander Hell for all eternity, and you still wouldn’t find a way out. Not unless I showed you.”

  He pressed his hand to the cavern wall and the rock rumbled and then slid apart. Warm air gently caressed my face, reminding me of summer nights spent on Herron’s rooftop.

  Cerberus ran outside, barking at something I couldn’t see. I followed the three-headed dog, not bothering to see if Lucifer was keeping pace, because I knew he was right behind me.

  I stepped out into the night and the silver moon was full and bright. My feet tread through the silver-glistened grass.

  “This is not how I expected Hell to look,” I said, turning my face up to the sky. Millions of stars glittered above me, sending me for another loop.

  “How did you expect it to look?” He came to stand by my side, his hands shoved in the pockets of his trousers. At any other time, in any other place, I would’ve thought him to be just another trader on Wall Street or a handsome billionaire playboy. But there was something about Lucifer…when he was charming, when he wore the clothes, it still seemed like a veneer to conceal the true beast within.

  “I expected it to look like, you know, dancing skeletons engulfed in fire. Rock. Eternally hot. Those sorts of things.”

  He laughed softly. “Yeah. Sounds about right. Do you know where we’re standing right now?” He peered at me, looking down at me with something akin to pride.

  I shook my head.

  “This is the Garden of Eden.”

  “The Garden of Eden is in Hell?”

  “There used to be no Heaven, no Hell,” he explained. “It was all one place. But then…” He shrugged. “I wanted more. I wasn’t cast out, but instead forced to stay here. He took his angels and left. He made Heaven, and I’ve been the ruler of Hell ever since.”

  “So you’re not really a fallen angel. More like a lef
t-behind angel?”

  “Something like that.”

  “Are you truly evil?” I blurted out.

  He finally looked at me. “What do you think?”

  “I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking you.” I threw the question back at him, not at all expecting an answer. Cerberus trotted back, a stick between his three jaws. He dropped it at Lucifer’s feet who picked it up and threw it across the meadow.

  With a happy yip, Cerberus took off.

  “Wow. He does fetch,” I marveled.

  “Yes, he loves to fetch. And to answer your question, Stella, I don’t know if I’m truly evil. Wanting more…that makes me greedy, yes? Because I should be happy with all of this.” He gestured to the Garden. “But it’s not in my nature to be satisfied.”

  “So you cause trouble.” I sniffed. “Nice to know you’re living up to your image.”

  “Humans want more too, don’t they? Does that make them evil?” he asked, changing tactics. “And what about you? Did you not wish for freedom from Purgatory? Your life was charmed. You had parents who loved you and yet, you wanted to leave it all behind for the sake of independence. Does that make you evil?”

  I didn’t like his line of questioning. It challenged everything I believed in—and by the smug look on his face, the bastard knew it.

  Suddenly, I wanted to get away. So I turned and ran across the meadow, needing distance from him…needing distance from myself.

  Chapter 11

  I slowed down when I came to a tree. Silver in the moonlight, it was the only one in the field. And it was luminous. I touched my hand to its bark, and it gave a little shudder.

  “What do you sense?” came Lucifer’s voice behind me. I had no idea if he’d run after me or flown. I refused to turn around to see if his wings were out.

  “Sadness,” I whispered, pressing my forehead to it.

  “It was once the Tree of Life. But since they were cast out, it has borne no fruit. Do you know what I feel when I touch it?”

  “What?” I asked, curious despite myself.

  “Anger. At me. Because I caused all the strife.”

  “What am I, Lucifer?” I begged.

  His hands were a ghostly touch on my shoulders. “You are mine,” he whispered, his tone full of want.

  “What if I don’t want to be yours?” My tone was bitter. “I want to be something in my own right.”

  Lucifer stepped back and looked away from me. “My home is your home. Nothing will harm you here.”

  “Except you.”

  He flinched like I’d hit him, but his icy facade still didn’t crack.

  “What am I supposed to do here?” I demanded. “I had a life. I had hobbies.”

  It hadn’t been much of a life—working all the time because I had no real relationships with anyone except Herron. Hunting for emotions at night with strangers so I didn’t go insane.

  Lucifer’s eyes glowed indigo in the Hellish moonlight. “You don’t believe that anymore than I do. Besides, a bargain is a bargain.”

  He shrugged like he didn’t care if I lived or died, if I was happy or miserable here. And that’s when I realized he didn’t. I was a commodity.

  Rage sizzled under my skin, and if I thought I’d be able to inflict him bodily harm, I’d have considered it.

  “It doesn’t have to be like this, Stella,” he purred.

  He peered at me from beneath sooty eyelashes, and I was blasted with a charge of lust. I gritted my teeth against it.

  “You’ve been toying with me the entire time. Haven’t you? Leaving me alone to get settled, pretending you’re a decent sort. But you’re not. Are you?”

  “I am the Prince of Darkness.” His voice boomed and echoed across the rolling hills of Eden. He seemed to stretch and grow, blotting out the starlight with his massive wings, which were now expanded.

  Lust roiled through me. I was on the ground, writhing against the cool grass. Desire shot through my veins like liquid lightning.

  “I’m an opportunist. I take what I what when I want because it pleases me.”

  I felt the weight of his body on top of mine. His wings wrapped around us both. There was no moonlight or starlight, only the glow of Lucifer’s indigo eyes.

  He grazed a finger down my neck, causing me to shiver.

  I still wasn’t sure if the desire was mine or completely manufactured by Lucifer. Either way I knew it wasn’t something I wanted to feel. Somewhere deep inside of me, I felt the kernel of rage that had been blasted back, taken over by the onslaught of desire. I nurtured it, summoned it.

  It came like a tsunami, obliterating everything in its path.

  I no longer felt desire.

  I no longer felt like me.

  “Lucifer,” I whispered, caressing the back of his neck to pull him closer.

  He brushed his lips across my cheek. “Yes?”

  With all the force of my anger, I shoved against him. “Not on your life.”

  A look of pure bafflement washed over Lucifer’s face as he fell onto his behind.

  I would have laughed at the comical expression—but the rage I’d summoned wasn’t going anywhere.

  “You were going to rape me,” I said, seething.

  His eyes widened. “What? No. I wasn’t going to—that’s not—”

  “Then why did you manipulate me into desiring you?” I scrambled up from the ground, needing to put distance between us. We were both immortal. I had my own gifts that came from my parents. If Lucifer and I battled using our own powers, we’d cause serious destruction.

  “What?” He stood, graceful, elegant.

  I pointed my finger at him. “You turned on the Satan-desire and blasted me with it!”

  His mouth twitched, and then he threw his head back and let out a bark of laughter that shook the leaves on the Tree of Life. Green leaves glinted silver as they danced in the moonlight, and the air shimmered at the sound.

  I gritted my teeth. I wasn’t supposed to revel in his happiness. I wasn’t supposed to feel obligated to ease his burdens. This was Lucifer, the Prince of Darkness, and the fallen angel that wreaked havoc and caused a division between good and evil. He had no humanity in him, no sense of right or wrong.

  And yet…I felt the essence of him. He was made of darkness—of want, of greed. But there was a seed of hope in his chest.

  Lucifer had a soul.

  And there was a sliver of light in it. He was not all evil. Maybe evil wasn’t even the right word.

  Perhaps he could be redeemed.

  He whistled and Cerberus loped through the night, his tail wagging, three tongues lolling. He collapsed at Lucifer’s feet and rolled over onto his back.

  The Prince of Darkness crouched down to rub his dog’s belly.

  Love, fondness, affection, I felt it all.

  “You’re lonely,” I said, startling the quiet. The flames of lust were banked, though the coals would only need a good stoke before lighting again.

  Lucifer didn’t look up. He moved his hand from the dog’s belly to one of its heads, stroking a satiny ear.

  “Why would you think that?” he asked.

  “You’ll show me your desire, but none of your vulnerability,” I spat, turning away.

  “Why would I show you my true self? You’re a debt repayment. Nothing more.”

  “Lie,” I stated. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked up at the sky. Moonlight and starlight. Eden was beautiful.

  “I thought you only sensed emotions. I didn’t know you were a walking lie detector.”

  I finally looked at him. His indigo eyes were bright, like two stars that had been brought down from the heavens. They revealed nothing. Not mercy, not acceptance, not even joy.

  My mouth quirked up into a half smile. “Maybe the issue is that you’re not so different than the rest of us.”

  He frowned.

  “You have emotions, don’t you? Dreams? Just because you’re a fallen angel doesn’t negate all of that. You’re not a mindles
s beast. I think”—I paused—“you want what you’ve never had. I think that’s why you choose to invoke misery.”

  “Misery,” he murmured. “I call it balance. Good cannot exist without evil. Light cannot exist without dark.”

  “Right, right.” I waved my hand. “And no one is all or nothing. In the words of my favorite Broadway musical of all time: ‘Are people born wicked? Or do they have wickedness thrust upon them?’”

  Lucifer chuckled and it rushed over my skin in a way desire never could. To make him laugh…felt like a great triumph.

  “Sympathy for the Devil?”

  My eyes widened. “Are you—are you joking around with me?”

  “That depends. Are you showing compassion for the enemy?”

  “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”

  “We could do this all night,” he said in amusement.

  “Probably,” I agreed. I cocked my head to the side. “You won’t let me in. Are you afraid of what I might find?”

  “I’m not the one afraid of desire.”

  I trembled and closed my eyes. He affected me. That much was true. I couldn’t summon the energy to hold him at bay.

  “Desire is nothing.” I opened my eyes but found Lucifer’s gaze trained on his dog.

  “Desire is everything,” he negated. “It’s truth.”

  “Why?”

  “Why?” he repeated. “Because it is.”

  “Desire is irrational. You can desire something—or something--bad for you. Desire has the power to destroy.”

  He smirked.

  I swallowed, my throat suddenly dry. I couldn’t justify it, my fascination with him. I couldn’t explain why I’d felt like I’d been moving through life, asleep, and then I’d met Lucifer. It was like I’d awakened from a long dream. Maybe it had been all because of the mage’s spell. It had dulled my true self; and now that I knew my identity, I felt like my body and mind had come alive.

  Lucifer strode close to me, slowly, like one would approach a frightened, caged animal. That’s what I was. Caged, and at his mercy.