by Leah Holt
As far as I was concerned, he was another colleague at the school.
The large glass door swung open, a young man holding it in place to let me inside. “Hello, Miss, enjoy your evening,” he said with a bright smile.
Smiling through closed lips, I kept walking straight to the hostess stand. Another girl, young as the man who held the door, greeted me with a large, toothy grin. “Hello, welcome to Charlio's. Do you have a reservation?” she asked, angling her head to the side, and holding a pen straight as an arrow over a thin-lined book.
The wood podium she used as her post was a dark cherry color. The intricate design on the trim was hand carved, every detail looked meticulously etched by hours of skilled work.
Curling my fingers over the ledge, I felt the silky lacquer, smooth and invisible to the naked eye. “Um, I'm Kinsley, Kinsley Davidson.”
Her eyes lit up, sparkling with a curious excitement. Snapping her head a hair, she shifted the long side bangs out of her eyes. “Ms. Davidson, yes, you're a little early.” Scanning the list of names, she highlighted a spot (which I assumed was me) near the bottom. “Please take a seat out here, or at the bar, your table will be ready in a moment.”
With tight lips, I smiled. “Okay, thank you.” Turning away from her, I strolled through the foyer and took a seat by the window.
Glancing around, I was struck by an undeniable feeling of not belonging there. The floor was cut from marble that looked like it was shipped over from India, small candle holders shined like gold against the french handmade wallpaper.
Checking myself over quickly, I made sure I hadn't accidentally brought in any greasy streaks or substances that might stain the chair I was sitting in.
Can't be too safe, there's shit in the most obscure places at my house.
A few crossed glances were cast my way by a couple waiting across from me, their eyes watched me with disbelief. The woman fiddled with the diamond necklace around her neck, flicking her gaze to her husband and scoffing.
I felt so small, so unwanted in that moment. They looked at me like I was a rat amongst a bevy of swans. I was filth and they were perfectly cut emeralds.
Charlio's was one of the few places I hadn't been to in our small city. It was one of those restaurants that screamed money, with dress codes, and fancy crystal chandeliers. It was a place for people who chose pearls over well grafted costume jewelry, and carried themselves with one arm raptored out, while they laughed a laugh they spent years perfecting to blend in with high society.
I was not one of those people, and if I wasn't here for a reason, I wouldn't ever set a foot in the door.
Besides, they probably didn't even carry crayons for children, or tolerated the various taps and chirps a kid would make.
Fuck that, I was all set.
Stirring uncomfortably in my chair, I crossed my legs, and ignored the death stare from the couple. Looking out the window, I watched people arriving, the men in suits and women in long, flowing gowns.
A twisting nerve in my stomach kept anticipating Layne walking through the foyer and saving me from making a complete ass of myself... Again. His face hovered like a ghostly apparition as my brain wished for him to show up right at that moment.
I wanted to see his face, his broad shoulders, his messy, but oh so perfect, and touchable hair.
He said he would be here, just not right away.
I'm alone, on a date, and my love guru isn't here to help.
“Ms. Davidson, your table is ready.” The blonde hostess stood by her post, menu in hand like a school text book.
Standing briskly, I hugged my purse against my ribs, and followed her through the grand archway. Watching my feet as we walked, I placed each one methodically on the smooth marble.
This was not a place I wanted to tumble head over heels, and land ass up for everyone to see my backside.
Voices hummed around us like a symphony, laughing mingled with conversation, deep tones were highlighted by sweet high pitches. The scent of gourmet meals traveled through the air on aromatic waves.
And my stomach twisted with a dying hunger.
This food better be as good as it smells.
Taking another cautious step, I hit a wall. Literally.
The hostess had stopped, and I (because I wasn't paying any attention) had walked clear into her back, shoving her forward. Her body joggled in a momentary balance on her toes, arms scrambling to regain her perfect posture.
Throwing my hands out, I grabbed her shoulders, and kept her upright. “Oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean—”
“Well, that wasn't the grand entrance I was hoping for, but then again, at least you kept your poise.” His voice hit my ears and for a second I stood like a stunned animal.
I couldn't speak, I couldn't hear anything around me, and all the eyes I had been highly aware of when I accidentally tripped the hostess, suddenly disappeared.
Layne was standing by the table in front of me, a light grin spreading over his firm lips. He was dressed to the nines; a fierce black suit, bright white button-up, the two top buttons hanging open showing a hint of his chiseled chest.
He looked amazing. Sexy and strong, he stood with his arm bent across his stomach, head angling into his smile.
Holding his hand out, he gripped my wrist, and pulled me in. I still hadn't spoke, no words finding their way to my tongue. I didn't even know what to say, I was caught completely off guard, he wasn't supposed to be here yet.
“Well, say something already.” His massive thumb caressed the nub of my wrist, eyes tearing into my core and licking my body all in the same breath.
“What are you doing here? Did I get stood-up?”
That would be fine if mystery man wasn't showing up.
Chuckling, he spoke in a low penetrating voice. “No, it's the complete opposite. I am your date.”
His words infiltrated my body, sending a sharp bolt of lightening over my spine. “Wh... What? What do you mean?” I felt all my muscles surge with numbing pinpricks, every hair standing on end. “You can't be serious?”
His fingers turned into swirling tornadoes, finding and touching every ridge across my hand, my arm, even the small crease in my elbow. “I'm nothing but serious, Kinsley.”
The hostess cleared her throat, speaking quickly. “I'll just leave these here,” she said before turning and walking away.
“What's going on, Layne? Why would you be here as my date?” Looking up into his deep golden eyes, he stayed static with thin grinning lips.
The pressure of his fingers increased, lighting my skin on fire. They were firm, confident, and needy. “Because I am the match for you.” Slipping his hand over the small of my back, he guided me to my seat. “Let's have our date, come sit.”
Stepping to the chair across from me, he sat down, and placed his hands on the table with palms open. Wiggling his fingers, I placed my hands in his. “You can ask me anything you want, and I'll answer. This date is for you, for us, I'm an open book for you tonight.”
“But you said no personal questions, what happened with that?” I didn't want to send him running if I questioned his motives for the date, but he had made it more than clear that he wasn't into being with anyone.
What the hell is he doing?
“That was before, that was when I worked for you. I'm not working for you anymore, Kinsley. I can't.”
“I'm sorry, I'm so confused right now. You made it clear you weren't looking for anyone, why this change of heart?” I sat, watching him, breathing him in.
This was exactly what I wanted, and yet it felt unreal. He had been untouchable, a man out of my reach, holding the spark inches from the fuse, but refusing to light it.
But where was this coming from? I couldn't figure out why he had changed his mind so quickly.
Layne's eyes drifted over my face. They danced over my nose, stopping at my lips, and rising to meet my gaze. “Kinsley, I tried so hard to not let my feelings for you get in the way of what I spent a lifetime dr
eaming about. I can't do it anymore, I won't do it anymore.” Squeezing my hands, he laced our fingers together.
He spoke with firmness, there was no hint of uncertainty in his voice. His words were clear, climbing through my ears and digging into my brain.
Feelings for me?
He has feelings for me?
My chest was anxiously stretching to take in air, mind trying to make sense of what he was saying.
“Why now? Why didn't you listen to me that night in your car? I told you what I felt, but you let me walk away, you could've said something then.” I was holding his hands as tightly as he was holding mine. It felt incredible to be touching him in such a personal way, a true sign of connecting, a real show of truth.
“Because I was still searching, Kin. But I don't need to search anymore.”
“What have you been looking for?”
“My family.” A heavy breath escaped his lungs, his shoulders straightening, chest expanding as he spoke. “I've spent the last decade looking for my birth family. I never wanted to let anyone in close to me because of that.”
Furrowing my brows, I asked, “That doesn't make sense, what does letting someone in have to do with finding your family? Were you afraid of being left again?”
My heart ached at the idea of him wanting to love, but fear holding him back. No one deserved to feel that type of pain, that type of loss.
That was one thing I knew first hand.
My first love had been stolen from me, but having that love for even a second of time was better then never having it all.
Loving someone means you're open to hurting, it means you're open to living. And having had the chance to even love my husband, blessed my life with the greatest love I would ever experience...
The love of my daughter.
I couldn't imagine as a mother giving up my child and having to wonder where they were, if they were alright and cared for.
But equally, for a child to feel abandoned, or unloved... That had to be an insufferable pain. He never deserved to feel anything like that.
“No, I believe in love, and being loved. It's one of the things that got me into what I do for work. Finding my family held me back because I wasn't sure where it was going to take me. If they were halfway around the world, I wanted to be ready to go to them, if I needed to drop everything in a single breath to get there, I wanted to be able to do that. I couldn't stomach the thought of falling in love and having to leave that person, it wouldn't be fair.”
Slipping a hand free, Layne dragged it over his jaw, then shuffled it through his hair. “But I don't need to runaway to find them, I'm going to meet them. When I found out, it gave me the final push I needed to make you mine. I had a different date set up for you tonight, but when it all happened, I canceled it.”
Cupping my lips, I couldn't stop my eyes from tearing. “You found your family?”
“They found me.”
“Oh my god, Layne, that's incredible. When are you going to meet them?”
“Three weeks, I'm flying down to North Carolina, and I was hoping... Well I was hoping...” His pause sent electricity through my veins, his touch warming, his fingers trembling. “I was hoping you would go with me.”
“Layne, no, no. I couldn't do that, I wouldn't know what to say, and I barely know you.”
“I don't know them, and honestly... I don't want to do this alone. I've spent so much time keeping my distance from people and now that it's here, I'm more nervous than I ever would've thought. Come with me, it's just for the weekend, that's it.”
“I don't know, what about Fay? I don't even know if I can afford to fly out there. This is big, this might be too big for me.”
“Don't worry about the money, I'll take care of that. I just really need you with me, I've needed you with me since day one, I was just too blind to see it.”
“And Fay? I might be able to get my mom to watch her, but if I can't, then I'm not going.”
“If you can't, she comes with us. She can come with us anyway, I wouldn't mind either way. So long as I have you by my side, that's all I need.”
“You're serious right now?” Veering my stare, I cocked my jaw. “You really want me to go with you to meet your family for the first time in your life?”
“Yes, I do.”
“I don't know what to say.”
“Say you'll go.”
Glancing around the room, I kicked my eyes to the ceiling. “Alright, I'll go with you.”
I felt stunned that he wanted me to go with him, but I wanted to be there for him. If he spent the better part of his life keeping people away, then who could he turn to for support?
And if he felt for me the same way I felt for him... Then it only seemed natural for me to go. He came to my side when I needed help, never expecting our lives to mingle on the edge of needing each other. But I needed him, more now than ever.
A smile slipped over his strong jaw, his fingers twining around mine. “Thank you.”
The baby...
Do I tell him now?
“Layne, I... I need to—never mind.” Shaking my head and looking down at the silverware, I swept my fingers over the utensils. There was a desire to blurt out my secret, and a passiveness to keep it to myself and let him have his moment.
I wanted to tell him, but he just received the greatest news of his life, and he wanted me to tag along. What if this news was too much for him to handle right now?
He needs to know, but timing is everything.
A deep seeded fear of ruining the joyous occasion filtered over my soul. He had spent years looking for them, and I didn't want to rain on his parade. Layne was brave enough to let out some of his feelings for me, and when I saw the spark in his eye and felt the excitement in his voice about finding his family, I went against my gut instinct.
There would be time to tell him later; on the way to North Carolina, in the plane where he couldn't escape, at the hotel when we were completely alone.
Either way, he could have this moment, he needed it.
And I would get mine, when the time was right.
Chapter Eighteen
Layne
She agreed, she's willing to go.
I wasn't sure how much shock should have hit me when she actually said yes, or how much relief I should have felt that I didn't have to beg her.
But I knew I didn't want to go alone, I was about to dive into something that required the support of someone who was strong.
And Kinsley was by far the strongest person I had ever met. Everything she had gone through, all the ups and downs, it made her who she was. Incredible.
It was a relief to know that she hadn't written off her feelings for me completely. I pushed her, I refused to give her one ounce of my heart because I was so wrapped up in what I always wanted.
The timing couldn't have been more perfect.
The car's brakes lightly squealed from the rain that had fallen during dinner. Kinsley popped out of her car, nodding her head at me to follow her inside. The red lipstick had faded to natural flesh, holding the slightest twinge of red.
Such beauty, I'm taking her for myself.
She's my woman, and from this point on... She always will be.
Closing the door, I jogged up beside her. “So, the lights are off. Is Fay here or sleeping out?”
Opening her eyes wide, Kinsley shook her head while her mouth thinned as she spoke. “She's here.”
“Why do you say it like that?”
The moon hit her face, casting her perfect skin in a white glow. The reflection in her eyes popped like giant saucers, the brown in her gaze milky, and seductive. “You'll see.”
“Who's watching her, Gi—” Before I could finish my sentence, the front light snapped on, blinding me. Squinting my eyes, I held my arm up to block the intense beam hitting my pupils.
The door flew open, and a scratchy voice I didn't recognize slapped me in the face. “Well, well, well, what do we have here?”
“Mom,
do not start.” Kinsley shot back, holding her hand up. Skirting around her mother, she looked over her shoulder and said, “Come on in.”
Kinsley's mom stepped out of the way, hand still resting on the door frame. As I stepped up into the house, her mother's neck hitched back, staring up. “So... You're the mattress man?”
“Well, Ma'am, yes I am. Or at least I was, now I'm Dilby according to Fay.” Holding my hand out, I greeted her as pleasantly as I could.
You never want to rub the mother of the girl you admire the wrong way. You need someone on your side when it comes time to meet dad.
Although, Kinsley had warned me before that it was her mother I needed to look out for.
Maybe I'm getting the hardest one out of the way now.
Her mom gripped my hand, her handshake firm and surprising. She shook my hand like she was a corporate executive landing a life-altering deal.
She didn't look nearly as old as I expected. With the way Fay described her, and after Kin told me her father was nearing seventy, I guessed I expected to see a wrinkly old woman with bright, silver hair and cramped hands.
But she was the complete opposite. Her skin held age, but it was weathered, not old. The deep brown hair was cut short, resembling Kin's in color, but hers had silver highlights. Enough color to look younger, and enough gray to show wisdom.
A half grin, half grimace filled her face. “Dilby, huh. Well, I won't be calling you that.” Her eyes ran the length of my body, pausing for a brief second over my junk, and stopping at my feet. “Kin, is it true?”
“Yeah, she calls him Dilby now. But his name is Layne.” Tossing her purse on the coffee table, Kinsley kicked her heels off into a black rubber mat on the side of the door.
“Not that, is it true that big shoes mean big enhancements?” Her mom's eyes flicked to my groin, I cringed. It wasn't the conversation I thought we'd be having the first time I met her family.
This woman had balls. And I found it hysterical. Dragging a hand through my hair, a nasal-filled laugh hit my throat. I couldn't help it, her mom was funny as hell, and caught me completely off guard.
And she didn't hide the enjoyment she got from causing her daughter to shiver with embarrassment. A devious smirk teased her lip, her lids crinkling with hidden laughter.