Rebel Heart

by Jane Slate

  “Nice.”

  Mel reached out to turn on the radio just as an upbeat pop song started playing. Stella rolled her eyes and tried to change the station but Mel stopped her, pouting.

  “Aw come on Stel!”

  “I know you’re all about classics but can I control the radio?”

  “Please? Just this once.”

  Stella started to object but relented when Mel gave her a doe eyed glare.

  “I hate when you do that you know.”

  Mel smiled.

  “I know.”

  “But it works doesn’t it?”

  Touché

  Mel began to sing along and eventually she got Stella to do the same. Five equally bad tunes later, it occurred to Stella that she had passed the restaurant. She turned around in an abandoned parking lot and gave the driver of a rusty pick-up truck the finger as he cut her off and barreled down the narrow road.

  She slammed down on her horn even though he was long gone.

  “Asshole!”

  “You know it’s only a matter of time before someone doesn’t like that,” Mel spoke up.

  Stella shrugged. Then, she got an idea.

  “I dare you to do it.”

  Mel frowned.

  “What?”

  Stella nodded at the truck, which was now a few good feet down the road.

  “Flip him the bird. Come on! It’ll be liberating! You can’t be such a good girl all the time, Mel. Besides he won’t even see you. Just...pretend its Maddox!”

  Mel hesitated and right when Stella was sure she wouldn’t do it, she stuck up her middle finger and proudly displayed it out her window.

  Stella laughed, cocking her head to look at her friend.

  “See!”

  “Feels good don’t it?”

  Mel didn’t answer but Stella could tell by the look on her face that she was satisfied. She turned up the radio as one of Mel’s favorite Britney songs began to play and pulled up in front of Rico’s, shifting the car into park.

  “That’s why I can’t stand Blessing of the Bikes,” Stella continued as the song came to an end.

  “It’s like...the one weekend when every asshole in or around Falls Creek decides to come out and play.”

  Mel nodded in agreement.

  Both girls climbed out of the car and made their way inside the dimly lit restaurant. The smell of Mexican food and tequila filled Stella’s nostrils. She slid into an empty booth across from Mel and looked over a menu on the table.

  A timid looking waitress surfaced from the back of the restaurant and set a basket of chips and a bowl of salsa down in front of the girls.

  “Good evening,” she said with a smile.

  “What can I get you? We have very good tostadas on special.”

  She spoke in broken English and had a heavy accent but Stella had been coming here long enough to understand her.

  “We’ll share an order of fajitas.”

  She looked over at Mel for approval and she nodded.

  “And I’ll have a strawberry margarita.”

  “Same here,” Mel piped in.

  The waitress nodded and gathered up both menus. She capped her pen and walked away, handing the order on her notepad over to someone in the kitchen.

  Stella took in the scenery. The restaurant was more or less empty aside from an elderly couple seated a few tables away and a leather-clad man, an obvious straggler from the festival, at the bar. It was quiet and desolate and cool and Stella couldn’t have been happier.

  “So,” she spoke up, scooping a large amount of salsa onto a chip.

  “Not that I’m trying to kill the mood but...are you ever going to tell me what exactly happened between you and Maddox?”

  She thought of Scarlett and waved a hand in the air.

  “Besides, you know, the obvious.”

  A heat flooded through Mel as her cheeks drained of color. Clearly Stella had hit a sore spot.

  “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to...” she trailed off.

  “No.”

  “It’s fine. It’s just...”

  “Just?” Stella questioned, nodding for Mel to continue.

  Mel shook her head and backtracked.

  “Actually, yeah, I don’t feel like talking about it.”

  Stella sighed and shoved another salsa-covered chip into her mouth. She kicked Mel softly beneath the table.

  “Come on Mel. If you can’t tell me, your best friend, who can you tell?”

  Mel furrowed her perfectly plucked brows in thought.

  “He told me he would leave her,” she whispered, lowering her eyes as she caressed a spot on the table.

  “And I guess...I don’t know. I guess it scared the shit out of me.”

  “He what?” Stella hissed.

  “Jesus. Do you think he would really do that to Scarlett and the kids? I mean-”

  Mel held up a hand to stop Stella from continuing.

  “Stop. See...this is why I didn’t tell you. It’s always about Scarlett and the kids. And I’m not saying it shouldn’t be. I know my role, Stel. Don’t think I don’t. It’s just...why don’t my feelings ever matter?”

  Mel’s voice cracked as the final words left her mouth. Stella’s face softened. She reached across the table for Mel’s hand but she snatched it away.

  “I’m sorry,” Stella said.

  “I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. Your feelings do matter. It’s just...do you really want to be with a man who would do that? Leave his family, I mean?”

  The waitress reappeared with a tray of drinks in her hands. She set the margaritas down in front of Stella and Mel and informed them in broken English that their food would be out soon. When she was out of earshot, Mel spoke up.

  “Duh,” she said.

  “Why do you think I told him we were through?”

  Stella took a long sip of her drink and Mel did the same.

  “You made the right choice,” Stella said with a nod.

  “Really, you know Maddox and the boys are trouble. Sexy as hell, sure, but trouble all the same. Besides, how long would it be before Maddox did to you what he’s doing to Scarlett? A week? Five months? A year?”

  “How dependable is he really?”

  Mel sighed.

  “I know, I know,” she said with a wave of her hand.

  She took another long drink and began to relax against the back of the booth.

  “Trust me. I’ve asked myself the same questions dozens of times. I just wish we didn’t have so much history. It would certainly make things easier.”

  “He’s a jerk,” Stella shrugged.

  “He’s not worth your time, Mel.”

  “He never was.”

  Mel cleared her throat and relented.

  “Still,” she continued with a pout.

  “Why must he be so hot?”

  Stella laughed and raised her glass in the air.

  “To Maddox,” she said with a nod.

  “May he crash and burn.”

  Mel chuckled.

  “Stel! That’s awful!”

  “I’m kidding,” Stella said.

  “But really, to us. Girls rule. Boys drool.”

  She clanked her glass against Mel’s and took a sip of her drink.

  They wouldn’t realize the irony of her words until the following morning.

  Chapter Five

  It was pouring. Kade turned on his wipers and silently thanked himself for not taking out his bike. He felt sorry for Maddox though. It was getting dark and the rain was making it hard for Kade to see the road.

  Luckily, he could still make out the reflective lights of Maddox’s Harley a few feet ahead of him.

  After a damn long day at Blessing of the Bikes, after briefly regrouping at the clubhouse, the men were en route to the bar.

  The rain began to pour relentlessly and Kade’s wipers struggled to keep up. A melancholic feeling washed over him as he reached down to turn on the radio, feeling suddenly uneas
y by his lack of visibility as he readjusted his grip on the steering wheel and rubbed his calloused palms over the worn leather. He tried to distract himself but try as he might, he couldn’t get Stella off his mind.

  All he could think about was her smile. The way her hair fell into her face when she was distracted. The way she talked, walked, and laughed. All of it was engraved into his mind, never to be forgotten.

  Kade didn’t think it was possible to care about someone as much as he cared about her but he sure had a shitty way of showing it.

  He was doing her a favor though, by staying away. He didn’t deserve her. She was too good for him.

  He couldn’t allow himself to fantasize.

  It wasn’t safe in the current conditions. Kade could feel the car struggling to keep its footing on the rain-slick road. With a sigh, he pulled himself back down to reality as the dull murmur of soft rock seeped from the truck speakers and surrounded him. He continued down the road and altered his speed to match the conditions, reaching down to adjust his seat.

  He tailed Maddox from behind, keeping an eye on him. They drove in a staggered formation, clearing a path for themselves so that other vehicles could easily pass. This is the way they did things when conditions were bad. Whoever was on a bike would rely on a watcher, someone in a truck, to keep them safe.

  Now, that was Kade’s duty, one that was proving easier said than done when rain began to pour harder.

  Out of nowhere, a shitty SUV piled down the road, catching Kade off guard. Dozens of stickers were plastered over the back bumper and windshield, including a few confederate flags. Maddox shook a fist in the air and gave the driver the finger, picking up speed.

  The driver lost control and everything seemed to crumble at once.

  A blare of a horn and the screech of tires grabbed Kade’s attention, followed by a deafening boom and the sound of metal on metal. He swerved off the side of the road and into the gravel. Time moved in slow motion. A thousand thoughts ran through his head all at once. He parked the truck and stumbled frantically towards the crash.

  Maddox was laying face first on the cement a few feet away from his bike. His legs were twisted in unnatural directions and his fibula bone had cut clean through the fabric of his blood-soaked jeans. The driver of the SUV that had hit him was dead.

  Kade fell to the ground like a stone beside Maddox. The scenery blurred around him. Fire spread and engulfed Maddox’s bike and the car, scorching it as the flames grew brighter and more intense. Black smoke filled the air. Sirens blared in the distance, a reminder that help was coming. It was just a matter of whether or not it would come in time.

  “You’re going to be alright man,” Kade lied.

  He wiped Maddox’s hair away from his face. Blood began to bubble from his mouth. His flesh was clammy and cold.

  It wasn’t looking good.

  “Kade,” Maddox choked out.

  “I’m a real piece of shit.”

  It was the kind of revelation a man only ever had on his deathbed. Kade tensed his jaw and willed himself not to cry.

  “No you’re not man,” he insisted, shaking his head.

  “Don’t go saying your goodbyes.”

  “No,” Maddox interjected. He gripped Kade by the collar and tried his best to force the words out.

  “Please just take care of my family.”

  “And Mel.”

  Kade began to sob.

  “Please don’t go.”

  He was begging now. His voice cracked under the weight of his words. The light in Maddox’s eyes went out. His hand fell limp in Kade’s as he took his final breath.

  You don’t think you can feel a man’s soul leaving him but you can. Kade dry heaved into the grass and sobbed, clawing at the dirt as he pulled himself up. Maddox’s lifeless body fell onto the ground.

  Kade tried to scream but the sound caught in his throat and came out strained.

  At the hospital, a million things seemed to happen at once. Kade sat in the waiting room, bloody and frozen in shock. A nurse approached him with a look of dread in her expression. She wasn’t supposed to share any news with anyone but family, but she couldn’t help but feel sorry for the broken man before her.

  She shook her head without speaking, averting her eyes to the ground.

  He didn’t make it.

  Kade winced and slammed a fist against the metal armrest of the chair he was sitting in. The nurse scurried away when someone was rushed through the ER doors on a stretcher. Kade recognized him as the driver of the SUV that had hit Maddox.

  All hell broke loose.

  Kade didn’t reassure himself that everyone would be okay. He didn’t fall into the lucid trap of denial.

  Maddox was gone.

  He watched as Scarlett rushed into the ER, frantic and soaked from the rain, but he couldn’t bring himself to stand up.

  “Kade!” she yelled, breathless.

  She came to an abrupt halt in front of him. Her eyes were wide with fear, which was soon to be replaced by sorrow.

  “Where is he? Is he alright?”

  Kade didn’t speak. Scarlett began to make a scene, growing increasingly more agitated.

  “Where is he? Where is my fiancé!” she yelled, pounding her fists against his chest.

  Fiancé.

  Kade swallowed down the lump in his throat.

  He hadn’t known they were engaged.

  An orderly noticed what was going on and rushed over, pulling Scarlett aside to break the news to her. She crumbled to the ground in a fit of screams and it took two more orderlies and a tranquilizer to subdue her.

  Kade had never seen someone shatter so quickly. It was like she was made of glass. She curled into a ball on the ground and rocked back and forth. When the tranquilizer finally set in, she was lifted onto a stretcher and moved into a room.

  Kade watched all of this unfold but found himself unable to react.

  He couldn’t believe it.

  He had just seen Maddox alive, and now he was gone. He would never hold his children again. He would never laugh again. He would never make bad jokes again.

  Kade drowned in all of these realities, one by one. When he felt a hand press against his back, he jumped, but it was only Nash. His face was swollen from crying, something he rarely did. He was normally stoic. Emotionless. Two prospects stood behind him, a few inches away from the ER entrance with their heads hung low.

  Kade blinked once then twice in an attempt to register what was happening, but it was all still a fog. Nash pulled him into a tight hug and they sobbed together.

  Two nurses stepped out of Scarlett’s room then, nodding that it was okay for Kade and the boys to enter. They turned on their heels and did just that. She and the kids would be in need of the Sons’ support now more than ever, but that didn’t make it any easier.

  How was Kade supposed to face the wife of a man whose life he valued more than his own? A man who he had watched die?

  He felt like a failure. But it wasn’t about him right now. It was about Scarlett and the kids. Their feelings took precedence.

  “Scar,” Nash spoke up, reaching out to touch her shoulder.

  “The club is here for you. Always.”

  Scarlett turned around and faced the wall. It was clear that she wasn’t in the mood for conversation.

  “Fuck the club,” she muttered, not sounding like herself.

  It was clear that she was in a daze, and rightfully so.

  “It was the club that killed him. Every year that damn Blessing of the Bikes festival kills someone. This year it was Maddox.”

  Nash hesitated, not wanting to sound insensitive.

  “I’m sorry you feel that way Scar. But regardless, we’re going to be here for you and the kids. That’s a promise.”

  Scarlett shook her head and laughed a sad laugh.

  “I appreciate your camaraderie, boys, but I’m taking my kids and getting the hell out of Falls Creek.”

  “And don’t think for a second that
I don’t know how disloyal Maddox was to me,” she added.

  She turned around then, pointing at Kade.

  “I’m not a stupid woman.”

  Kade remained quiet and looked away. Nash glanced back at the prospects, nodding for them to pile out.

  “You get some rest,” he said to Scarlett before following them out of the room.

  Kade did the same.

  At precisely 6:07 A.M—a time Stella would never be able to forget—the phone rang. Mel, always an early bird, yelled from the other room that she would answer it and Stella was grateful. She had drank a little too much the night before and has opted to crash at Mel’s instead of making the long trek back to her place.

  She rolled back over on her stomach with the intention of falling back asleep but was interrupted a few seconds later by a high-pitched, guttural scream that tore her from her bed.

  Mel stood in the middle of the kitchen and was as white as a sheet. The phone was lying on the floor in front of her and Stella could hear Dice’s voice coming from the receiver. She picked it up and asked him what was going on, and then, time came to a sudden halt. The words Maddox, car accident, internal bleeding, and dead collided together into something inaudible.

  Stella struggled to make sense of it all.

  Mel tore through the house and out the front door, crumbling into a ball on the lawn. She began to pound the ground until her fists were spotted with blood and encrusted with tiny pebbles.

  As though on autopilot, Stella told Dice she would call him back and hung up the phone. She grabbed Mel by the shoulders and pulled her up, dragging her back inside the house as she sobbed and choked out another soundless scream laced heavily with agony.

  The following morning, the newspapers would say that it was a combination of poor visibility, bad weather, and poor judgment that had taken Maddox’s life along with the life of the man who had hit him.

  The funeral was three days later on a Tuesday.

  Funerals always felt the same to Stella. She had never been to one that didn’t feel contrived and phony in nature.

  Death had a way of doing that to people. But it was never the death that bothered Stella. It was the way it affected the living. It was never her belief that when one life ended another began. It seemed too melodramatic to even consider.