The Love of a Mate

by Kim Dare

  Still retaining possession of Alfred’s hand, he rested his head on the other wolf’s shoulder and gave a content little sigh as he rubbed his cheek against Alfred’s T-shirt.

  “Are you trying to get me killed?” Alfred snarled under his breath.

  Caden lifted his head and looked up at him. “Why would I want to do that?” he asked, lacing his words with as much innocence and confusion as he could muster.

  Alfred glared at him. He tried to squirm away but the only way he was going to be able to do that was by climbing over the arm of the chair in front of the whole pack.

  “Caden?”

  Turning to his alphas, Caden smile cheerfully across the room at them. “Yes?”

  “Care to tell us what the hell is going on?” Marsdon asked.

  Dipping his eyes with all due deference, Caden let his attention fall upon his and Alfred’s joined hands. “When I realised that Alfred isn’t as interested in my brother as I thought he was, I…” Caden paused for a moment to nibble at his bottom lip in a calculatedly pretty display of nerves. “I didn’t mean any disrespect to my alphas or to the pack’s hierarchy, but I had to tell him how I felt about him.”

  “And how do you feel about him?” Marsdon asked, in the same tone of voice a man might use if he was watching someone mix chemicals from unlabelled bottles, and he had no idea when any particular combination might go bang.

  “I…” Caden looked to Alfred.

  “He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” the other gamma snapped.

  Caden was quick to agree. “Alfred’s right. We should probably get to know each other a lot better before we ask for permission to court each other formally.”

  Alfred’s eyes narrowed. Caden held his gaze, careful not to let any sign of guile or manipulation creep into his expression. Love, that was the only thing the other gamma needed to see there. Love and, maybe, just a hint of willingness to follow rather than lead, as and when the time was right.

  “Is that correct, Alfred?”

  Alfred turned away from Caden and moved his attention back to the alphas with obvious difficulty. “Um…yeah, I mean…” He cleared his throat, and glanced at Caden once more.

  Nodding encouragingly, Caden squeezed the other gamma’s hand. Apparently not sure what else to do, Alfred echoed his nod.

  “That’s…” Marsdon seemed to struggle to find the right word. “Good?” he hazarded, with a glance towards Bennett.

  Caden smiled as if the alphas had given him the world on a stick, but he wasn’t exactly heartbroken when one of the other wolves was sent to retrieve Gunnar and Talbot from upstairs and attention shifted away from himself and Alfred.

  There was something very comforting about simply being able to curl in against his lover’s side. Especially after the other gamma had seemed to get the hint that there was no escape and stopped squirming. His arm went hesitantly around Caden’s shoulders as he tried to get comfortable.

  Caden let his eyes drop closed, eager to let every wolf in the room know he felt completely safe and at ease with Alfred—and even more determined to make sure Alfred saw it too.

  When he finally blinked his eyes open over half an hour later, Caden knew there was at least one wolf that wasn’t buying any of it. Gunnar raised an eyebrow at him as their gazes met. Caden didn’t bother to blink innocently at him. That act never worked on his brother. He held the other wolf’s gaze instead, letting Gunnar see that he was serious about his new undertaking and wouldn’t allow any other wolf to mess with it regardless of their respective ranks in the pack.

  “I’m going to bed.” Alfred jerked himself up from the sofa seat so suddenly, Caden almost toppled over.

  Righting himself at the last minute, he saved himself from falling flat on his face. “That sounds like a good idea.”

  “What?” Alfred span around to face him.

  “I’m sleepy,” Caden said, with as much ingenuousness as he could squeeze into those three little syllables.

  Alfred hesitated for so long Caden was able to rise to his feet, say his goodnights and stroll across to the bottom of the stairs ahead of him. He was already at his bedroom door by the time Alfred caught up.

  A rough hand landed on his back as he pushed the door open. Caden didn’t try to resist. He willingly stumbled through the doorway when the other man shoved him forward. Bracing himself for a hard landing, he did nothing to stop his fall.

  At the last possible moment, Alfred snatched at his wrist and kept him on his feet. But Caden had no doubt that owed far more to accident than design. The hold the other wolf took on him was nothing to do with keeping him safe.

  “What the hell are you playing at?” Alfred growled, jerking Caden around to face him, each word vibrating with fury.

  Caden remained silent and dutifully allowed himself to be thrown around like a rag doll as Alfred slammed the bedroom door and pinned him against the woodwork.

  “Answer me!” Alfred demanded.

  Caden took a deep breath and tried to ignore both the ache in his cock and his instinctive desire to tilt back his head and bare his throat to a wolf he was quietly desperate to submit to. Swallowing rapidly, he forced himself to say the words Alfred need to hear rather than those he really wanted to utter. “I’m not ready for this.”

  “What?”

  Caden dragged another breath into his lungs. He had to close his eyes for a moment before he could make himself go on. “I’d have to know I could trust a wolf before I’d feel safe agreeing to play rough with him. So, I’m not ready for us to play this way yet,” he expanded.

  Alfred snatched his hands away from Caden’s skin as if he was hot enough to burn the flesh from the other man’s bones. He took several paces back. “What are you talking about?”

  Caden stepped carefully past him and took a seat on the room’s only chair. He had to tilt his head back to look up at Alfred. It would be impossible for the other wolf not loom over him, not to feel bigger and stronger than him. “I don’t mind if you want to be rough with me. I do like that,” Caden promised. “But…not yet.”

  Alfred glared down at him as if he’d lost his mind. It was several minutes before he glanced at Caden’s wrist and the way he was pointedly massaging it with the fingers of his other hand. His frown deepened. Suddenly appearing hesitant, he rocked back and forth on his heels. “Did I hurt you?”

  Caden examined his wrist very carefully, turning it this way and that. No, he hadn’t, but that wasn’t because he was being careful with a less dominant wolf. It was only chance that he hadn’t gripped the skin tightly enough to leave a vivid bruise in its wake, that he hadn’t twisted the joint far enough to fracture the bones above it.

  Alfred’s grasp had been that of a brat having a temper tantrum rather than a dominant wolf taking a lover in hand, taking a more submissive mate under his protection. And it had to be dealt with now.

  “My wrist will be fine,” Caden finally said, with complete honesty.

  Alfred pushed his hands into his pockets. “It’s your fault anyway,” he mumbled. “Acting like… Saying… ” He took one hand out of his pocket and pushed it through his hair.

  “All I did was tell you the truth,” Caden said mildly, keeping his gaze down and his submission blatant. “I only acted the way I’ve wanted to act towards you since I first joined the pack.”

  Alfred paced towards the bedroom window, then back. He was on his third circuit when he suddenly stopped and span around to face him. “Did the alphas put you up to this?” His eyes narrowed. “Gunnar went off with Talbot, so you’ve been ordered to—”

  “No!” Caden launched himself to his feet and hurriedly closed the gap between them, unable to stand hearing the pain in the other wolf’s voice. “Gunnar’s the one who always thought arranged matches were a good idea. He might have thought he wouldn’t care who he spent the rest of his life with, but I’ve always known I care.”

  Alfred retreated rapidly, as if Caden was suddenly a damn sight more frightening t
han his big, scary beta of a brother could ever be. He only stopped when the backs of his legs hit the edge of Caden’s bed. He sat down heavily on the edge of the mattress.

  Caden didn’t waste a second before dropping to his knees in front of him. “I want to be your mate. I want you to be my mate.” Every lupine instinct he had screamed at Caden to stop there. It took every ounce of human stubbornness at his disposal to push on. “But—”

  Alfred let out a burst of harsh laughter that obviously had nothing to do with amusement. “I should have known there would be a but—”

  Caden lifted one hand and put his fingertips against the other wolf’s lips. Alfred immediately grabbed hold of his wrist, but he’d barely had time to take hold of it before he checked his own show of strength. His hand remained wrapped around Caden’s wrist, but he made no attempt to move his fingers away from his lips or to speak up from behind them.

  “I just need you to prove that I’m right about you,” Caden said. “Please?”

  Alfred’s frown deepened.

  “I know you’re a good wolf, and the only thing I want to do is put myself in your hands and be your mate. I want to submit to you and belong to you and… And I just need you to prove to me how right I am.”

  Caden stared up into the other wolf’s eyes, begging Alfred to understand, to believe him. By the look on his face, Alfred had never had anyone say anything like that to him in his life. Caden had no doubt that if he had hurled insults at him or tried to order him around and control him, Alfred would have railed against him the way he so often seemed to chafe at the hierarchy in the pack, but suddenly being treated differently seemed to have brought his mind to a complete stop.

  Taking his hand away from the other wolf’s lips, Caden stroked the back of his fingers down Alfred’s cheek.

  The other gamma still didn’t speak.

  Dropping his hand back to his side, Caden bowed his head and simply rested it against Alfred’s leg, making himself comfortable to wait patiently while the other wolf’s brain caught up with events.

  Within a second, Alfred had moved his hand to rest on the back of his head but, even as his fingers wound through the strands, Caden felt the other man tense.

  “I don’t mind,” he said, leaving his head where it was and accepting Alfred’s caress. “It’s only when I’m going down on you that having your hand on the back of my head makes me nervous.”

  Alfred said nothing as his fingers carded gently through Caden’s hair, no doubt making a hell of a mess of it. Caden smiled slightly at the thought of getting mussed up by the other wolf that way.

  “I don’t believe you,” Alfred finally announced.

  Caden could tell that Alfred was doing his best to regain his usual recalcitrant mood, but the tone of voice just wasn’t there. The words were half scared and half gentle, and not the least bit bratty.

  Turning his head, Caden pressed a kiss against his lover’s jeans. “I don’t mind,” he whispered. “There’s plenty of time. You’ll realise I’m telling the truth soon enough.”

  “You’re bloody sure of yourself,” Alfred muttered.

  “No, I’m sure of us,” Caden corrected, very gently but no less firmly for that. Just because Gunnar was the only brother who shouted and stomped around, that didn’t mean he was the only wolf from their parents’ pack who was determined to get his own way in the end.

  Chapter Two

  “What do you think you’re all looking at?” Alfred demanded as every wolf in the work party turned to stare at him at the same time. They’d obviously already been out there for some time, hard at work since first light.

  Alfred didn’t try to hold their gazes or stare anyone down, but he made a point of looking away from his pack mates rather than towards the ground. He was in no mood to display his submission towards anyone that morning.

  Even after he’d left Caden’s room in the early hours, he hadn’t managed to sleep for more than a few minutes in a row. A night spent tossing and turning and trying to ignore both the ache in his cock and the pounding in his head hadn’t helped his temper. But it was the uncomfortable feeling in the unexplored recesses of his mind that had his hand forming into a fist at his side.

  There was something there, just out of sight, lurking in the deepest shadows. He could sense it creeping around, prowling in the darkness like a predator waiting for the perfect chance to pounce. If he dropped his guard for a moment, Alfred had no doubt it would launch itself into the front of his mind, then… And that was the problem. He had no idea what would happen then.

  Alfred looked around the work party full of wolves once more, desperate to…to howl, to bite, to lash out at the whole world. He longed to sink his teeth into his nameless, faceless nemesis and shake it until it finally gave in and left him the hell alone.

  He wanted nothing more than to land punch after punch on whatever the hell it was that made his whole body ache like the changing of a season that never actually came. He yearned for the chance to keep pummelling, clawing, biting until long after there was any way a reasonable wolf could expect anything to be achieved by hurting the world.

  Alfred wanted…

  He growled. Not knowing what he really wanted didn’t make him feel any friendlier towards the universe.

  Picking up the last shovel leaning against the tree nearest the river project, he threw himself into their work digging the new channel with more determination than all the previous days he’d been assigned there put together. Every ounce of anger and frustration streamed through his body and into his task as if he couldn’t think of anything he’d enjoy more than helping his pack divert the course of the river running through their lands.

  By the time he looked up, perspiration dripping into his eyes, the sun was high overhead. Right on cue, the alphas had arrived to inspect their work. Leaning on his shovel handle for a moment, Alfred wiped the sweat and the dirt from his face with his discarded shirt before tossing the grubby garment back onto the bank. Glancing over to where his leaders were speaking to Francis and Steffan, he noticed that the other gammas were smeared with dust and mud, too.

  The alphas looked impossibly clean and fresh standing next to them, not to mention too bloody perfect by half. Lording it over the lower-ranking wolves as if they were something special, just because someone had looked at them when they were pups and decided they were going to be alphas when they grew up.

  As if he could sense the angry glare burning into the back of his neck, Bennett suddenly looked over his shoulder. His eyes met Alfred’s. Reluctantly lowering his gaze, Alfred forced himself to show due deference to the other wolf’s rank in public, whatever his private feelings might be.

  By the time he looked back up, the alpha was right in front of him. Bennett jumped easily down into the ditch alongside Alfred, handed him a cold bottle of water and casually took a seat on the muddy edge of the gouge being created in the landscape.

  “Steffan tells us you’ve been working hard all morning.”

  Alfred shrugged well aware that no one really gave a damn what he said anyway. He glanced across at Steffan as he took a deep swig from the bottle of water. Perhaps if he’d been born that size, Alfred might have been the one whom the alphas had put in charge of the working party. Or perhaps if he’d been born growling, like Gunnar, he’d have been the one who had the beta role in the pack handed to him on a sodding plate.

  If he’d been given that rank, he wouldn’t have wasted it. He wouldn’t have disobeyed his alphas and fallen for Talbot, of all people. Cold water spilled over Alfred’s hand as his grip tightened and crushed the fragile plastic.

  Very carefully, he eased his hold on it. The bottle sprang back into shape. The level of the water within receded. Would a wrist recover that easily?

  “It seems Caden is proving to be a good influence on you.”

  Alfred jerked back his head and met his alpha’s eyes.

  Bennett smiled slightly. “Neither of us had realised that you had feelings for each other�
��”

  “We don’t. I mean, I don’t…” Alfred frowned down at the bottle. It hadn’t actually sprung back into shape as perfectly as he’d first believed. The damage was easily visible once a wolf thought to look for it.

  A gentle, teasing chuckle brought his attention back to his alpha, but Alfred’s mood didn’t change.

  “There’s no rush to work out exactly how you feel,” the other wolf reassured him, as if he was nothing more than a silly little pup to be humoured. “Such things take time.”

  Alfred said nothing. It was the only way he could be sure to keep back the growl that threatened to escape from the back of his throat.

  “But, if you keep working like this, I’m sure you’ll soon be a mate that Caden could be proud to call his own.” Without waiting for a response, Bennett jumped easily onto the bank alongside the ditch. “In a few days I’ll speak to Gunnar and see if we can arrange for you and Caden to share the same duties. That should let you spend some more time together.”

  Alfred shrugged, just to make it perfectly clear he couldn’t care less one way or the other, but Bennett merely smiled all the more, as if he thought there was something amusing about that.

  As Bennett re-joined Marsdon and Steffan, Alfred caught the other alpha’s eyes. At least there was one wolf he was sure wouldn’t be amused by the idea of him and Caden. There was no way in hell Marsdon was ever going to do anything that involved smiling in Alfred’s direction—that ship hadn’t sailed so much as sunk without a trace a long time ago.

  Quickly tossing back the rest of his water, Alfred flung the bottle aside and launched himself into his work with a fresh wave of anger to fuel him. There was no point in thinking anything was actually going to happen between him and Caden. Marsdon was never going to forgive him for causing trouble for Bennett all those months ago, and he sure as hell wasn’t going to give his permission for him to be mated to a wolf like Caden.