The Love of a Mate

by Kim Dare

  Alfred growled as he thrust against him. The kiss turned fierce. The younger wolf nipped at Caden’s lips and took total possession of his mouth. Shoes kicked against his bare feet as they both sought for any kind of leverage they could find in their slippery surroundings.

  “Please?” Caden gasped the plea into the kiss.

  Alfred only growled in response.

  There was no way he could really be denying him anything in that moment. Even Caden himself didn’t know what he was actually begging the other man for. Even so, the plea merely made the other wolf hold him tighter and made his movements rougher and more perfect. There was no flirting, no prettiness, just raw sex, harsh need and dominance. Caden revelled in it.

  Alfred’s denim-clad leg slid between Caden’s as he broke the kiss. Tossing back his head, Alfred howled his pleasure as he came inside his jeans. The slight change in angle was all Caden needed to fall into his own personal spiral of bliss. He was vaguely aware of his cum spilling between them and mixing with the mud, but the sensation was damn near drowned out by the way Alfred filled his senses and his world.

  The other wolf’s scent, his touch, the sight and the sound of him, all blended together and somehow managed to make Caden’s pleasure deeper than anything he had ever known. Any desire he had to retain control and keep himself safe died in that moment.

  As they fell still, Alfred remained on top of him, pinning him to the ground with his weight as well as his strength as they both fought for breath. Caden made no complaint.

  Eventually, as his body recovered, Caden was able to lift his head a fraction. He lapped gently at Alfred’s neck—the only part of his lover he was able to reach. The fact that the little patch of skin was just as muddy as the rest of him wasn’t important. He could still taste the wolf beneath it all.

  Alfred murmured his approval before slowly dragging himself upright. Reaching down, he helped Caden up, too. Of all the stupid things in the world, Caden found himself feeling silly and shy in front of the other wolf.

  There was no need for that. It wasn’t as if the other man could really know how little control Caden had over himself—how much control he’d given away to Alfred in that brief encounter.

  Swallowing rapidly, Caden pushed a hand through his hair. His fingers got stuck halfway. The mud was drying and matting the blond strands together. Caden winced and wrinkled his nose as he imagined how he must have looked right then. It was a wonder Alfred had even bothered with him while he was in that state.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  Caden met Alfred’s eyes for a moment. It was hardly the first compliment he’d ever received, but as they stood there on the half-formed river bank, it hit Caden harder than any flowery-worded statement ever had. A blush made its way to his cheeks, although he doubted it was visible under all the dirt.

  “You’re not so bad yourself,” he managed to whisper in return.

  Alfred put his arm around his shoulders in a protective little gesture as he turned them towards the house without ever asking his lover’s opinion on the idea. Caden merely smiled and accepted that as the other man’s right that night.

  * * * *

  “Did you see Alfred and Caden when they got home last night?”

  Alfred stopped at the top of the stairs. The door leading into the alphas‘ bedroom was open just the tiniest crack. No doubt both men had been ‘resting’ there, the way they often did in the middle of quiet days. Or at least days that were quiet until Marsdon and Bennett’s howls of pleasure filled the air. They’d probably been in far too much of a rush to make sure the door was sealed behind them.

  Marsdon laughed, a deep relaxed sound that indicated all was well in his world. “Yeah, I saw. They looked like they’d crawled out of the bottom of the river, there was that much mud on them!”

  “And?” Bennett prompted.

  “And who’d have thought that pretty little Caden could succeed where our big strong beta failed?” Marsdon asked, his tone still rich with humour and satisfaction.

  Alfred frowned as he crept closer, careful that his shadow shouldn’t be seen by any wolf on the other side of the door.

  “They do seem to be well suited,” Bennett said, his voice soft and sleepy—like a wolf who had really enjoyed his rest.

  “More to the point, Caden seems to have brought the little brat to heel better than I ever hoped for.”

  “Marsdon…” There was just a touch of chiding in Bennett’s tone.

  “Well, someone has to. We couldn’t have let him run riot forever, pup. We can’t bring a mating pair into the pack until everything is stable, and we can’t put that off much longer, can we? Little baby wolves have to come from somewhere, you know.”

  “I know, sir. I just…”

  “You just want every wolf in your pack to be happy and content no matter what it takes?” Marsdon finished for him.

  “Like you don’t,” Bennett replied.

  Alfred could practically hear the smile in the other wolf’s voice, but he couldn’t bring a smile to his own lips in response. His frown deepened instead. He stared at the door until the sound of rustling clothing warned him that he’d be risking certain discovery if he lingered there any longer.

  He’d already heard enough anyway. Turning away, Alfred quickly strode down the stairs, but the sound of his footsteps completely failed to drown out the echoes of the alphas’ words.

  It almost sounded like it was all their idea—like they had been as much behind Caden approaching him as they had been instrumental in bringing Gunnar and Caden to the pack in the first place.

  Alfred shook his head as his steps sped up. It wasn’t like that between him and Caden. With Gunnar it had been obvious he wasn’t really interested in being his mate, that he was just ticking the boxes of appropriate behaviour.

  But Caden was different. He was only doing what he wanted to do. He wasn’t simply playing along and going through the motions because his alphas ordered him to. He couldn’t be.

  Even as he wrote it off, a bitter taste filled the back of Alfred’s mouth at the possibility. The idea of Caden feeling like he had to trade his mouth and his arse to a mate he had no real desire for, just to please his alphas…

  Alfred’s hand tightened into a fist at his side. It wasn’t like that…was it?

  Memories scrolled through his brain far too quickly for him to make any sense of them. Caden had certainly seemed enthusiastic. He’d really seemed to want Alfred as much as Alfred had wanted him last night. And he’d said he loved him and…

  And he’d been very serious about the whole going slow thing. He’d been incredibly quick to make excuses for them not to have sex straight away…

  And what kind of idiot could really believe that a wolf as perfect as Caden could actually want anything to do with a screw-up like me? a little voice from the back of Alfred’s psyche piped up.

  Striding quickly through the kitchen, Alfred peered around the courtyard, searching for any sign of Caden. The vague memory of someone saying they were going to work in the barn had him striding quickly across to the huge wooden doors, but, once again, he found himself slowing as he reached a small opening, just big enough to allow a conversation between other wolves to reach him as he stood on the outside peering in.

  “It won’t actually make any difference to you if I point out you’re acting like a whore, will it?” Gunnar’s growl was instantly recognisable.

  “Do you think that’s what Talbot is doing when you mate with him?” Caden’s softer lilt asked in return.

  “Not the same thing!” Gunnar barked.

  Alfred peeked cautiously through the crack between the door and the old oak frame of the barn, hoping he wouldn’t be spotted. Gunnar was pacing back and forth across the big dusty space, the same way he always did when he was pissed off with the world.

  He kept disappearing and reappearing in the thin slice of the other wolves’ world that Alfred was able to glimpse. Further back into the barn, Caden seemed to have
given up trying to keep track of his brother and was resting back in the hay, staring up at the barn roof.

  He was as gorgeous as ever, with the sunlight from a high window shining on his hair and his legs sprawled out in the hay. His whole body was an invitation for another wolf to pounce on him. If only Gunnar would stop walking about and blocking the damn view, it might have been a perfect sight.

  “Not the same thing at all,” Gunnar repeated.

  “It’s exactly the same thing,” Caden said, twirling a piece of hay between his fingers as he smiled at his brother’s obvious discomfort.

  “Are you telling me that you’re not trading sex for good behaviour from him?” Gunnar demanded, stopping to loom over his little brother.

  Alfred’s hand tightened into a fist as the urge to leap between them and protect Caden suddenly made itself known inside him, but the muscles lost all their strength as the beta’s words sank in.

  It couldn’t be true. Alfred waited for Caden to speak up and tell the beta that, but Caden merely shrugged, his smile never faltering.

  The breath caught in Alfred’s throat as his faith in the unfairness of the accusation faltered, but even after everything he’d heard both there and at the alphas’ bedroom door, some little part of him refused to believe it could actually be true.

  “We all have our strengths,” Caden told his brother, mildly. “Yours may be growling orders and bossing everyone around. Mine are…”

  “Bending over for brats?” Gunnar suggested.

  “Ever heard the phrase: you’ll catch more flies with honey than vinegar?” Caden asked. “I can vouch for its accuracy.”

  “Unbelievable,” Gunnar muttered, shaking his head as he returned to his pacing.

  Caden sat up and brushed a few loose ends of straw from his shirt. “Where’s the harm?” he asked. “If Alfred needs a little extra motivation to take a step in the right direction and become the sort of wolf his pack wants him to be, then is it really so terrible for me to use some less-than-innocent methods to nudge him in the right direction?”

  Alfred didn’t wait to hear Gunnar’s answer. He couldn’t listen to another word, couldn’t stay there a moment longer.

  Caden had… He and Caden had…

  Alfred’s feet carried him one step back, then another. His hand came up to cover his mouth as he fought back the conflicting desires to either howl, scream or throw up.

  Spinning around, he rushed away as fast as his feet could carry him. Stumbling whenever he forgot to take due notice of the ground passing rapidly beneath his shoes, he broke into a clumsy run.

  His feet covered the grass more and more quickly as he headed instinctively for the tree line, but speed didn’t help. It was impossible to outrun the words—they were already in his head and the wind whipping against his clothes and snatching at his hair didn’t blow a single one of them from his mind.

  Out by the wood pile, in Caden’s bed, even out by the river—it had all been a game to Caden, some sick little game the alphas had arranged for the other gamma to play with him. On the edge of the woods, Alfred slowed down. Collapsing against one of the trees, he struggled for breath as his lungs burned and his muscles cried out in pain.

  Stupid! He’d been such a fool to believe Caden had any real interest in him. Alfred swung his arm, lashing out at the world in general. His fingertips brushed against one of the tree’s branches. Before he’d even thought about what he was doing, he’d caught hold of it.

  It was a thin branch. It came away from the trunk easily enough. Desperate to share some of the pain inside him and make everyone else hurt too, he swung the branch at the tree trunk again and again, sending leaves and bark flying around him.

  He keep swinging the branch until his lungs whimpered their lack of oxygen and his heart raced so fast he was sure it would leap straight out through his rib cage.

  Finally exhausted, he slumped onto his knees and let his head drop forward to rest against the battered bark. He closed his eyes, but it was impossible for him to hide from the anger coursing through him. He’d barely caught his breath before he turned back towards the house, fury burning in his eyes.

  Chapter Five

  “Alfred?”

  Alfred heard Marsdon calling out to him just as he reached the kitchen door, but he was in no mood to heed his alpha. He wasn’t capable of listening to anyone and even if he tried, he knew they would just lie to him, try to make him believe things that weren’t true and—

  “Alfred!” There was an added snap to Marsdon’s voice that time.

  Every lupine instinct Alfred possessed yelled that he should listen to the leader of his pack, but he pushed all that aside. Marsdon was the one who’d ordered Caden to…

  Alfred growled beneath his breath. Marsdon had made the wolf he loved into a whore, and he deserved no hint of respect from anyone.

  A rough hand landed on Alfred’s shoulder and span him around as he reached the centre of the kitchen. The larger wolf tightened his hold on him when he tried to squirm away. There was no escape. Jerking his head back, Alfred glared up at Marsdon. “What?”

  “Why didn’t you stop when I called you?”

  “What the hell made you think I would?” Alfred shot back.

  “Alfred…” The word was a clear warning. The growl in Marsdon’s voice wasn’t the least bit playful or paternal.

  “Since when are you surprised I don’t listen to a word you say?” Alfred threw at him.

  The image of Caden on his knees before him, and the way that beautiful picture was tainted by the knowledge that Caden hadn’t really wanted to be there, that he was just whoring himself out on an alpha’s orders, made it impossible for him to hold back anything.

  He pushed at the alpha’s hands, struggling to get away from him, but Marsdon merely shoved him back against the kitchen cabinets and held him there as if he had a right to do that, as if his rank gave him the right to do whatever the hell he wanted with any wolf in his pack, no matter who got hurt in the process.

  Writhing against the hard edge of the cabinet, Alfred kicked out, shoving against Marsdon’s body with all his might, and achieving no movement whatsoever.

  That just made Alfred angrier than ever. Helplessness rushed through him, whipping up the storm inside him into something stronger than he’d ever felt in his life. The fight to get Marsdon’s hands off his shoulders morphed into a fight for survival inside his head.

  Lupine claws crept out of his fingers. Marsdon’s shirt tore. There was no way his actions could be anything other than a challenge, but Alfred was past caring.

  The alpha’s hands suddenly moved to his wrists in a sickening mockery of the way he’d taken hold of Caden, back when some stupid part of him had actually believed the other gamma could enjoy being held that way. The alpha’s fingers wrapped tightly around Alfred’s skin and span him around so his back was to Marsdon’s chest.

  He was trapped then, his hands useless, his struggles futile.

  “If you have any intention of remaining a member of this pack, you’d best learn to control that temper. There’s only so much any alpha will accept.”

  “Maybe I don’t want to be part of your bloody pack,” Alfred screamed. “Maybe I don’t want to be part of any pack!”

  Not if that was the price Caden had to pay for him to be accepted, not if—

  “Alfred?”

  Marsdon spun them both around to face the softly spoken word.

  Caden and Gunnar stood in the doorway leading in from the courtyard. A frown spread across Caden’s brow as Alfred’s eyes met his, as if he couldn’t quite believe what he was seeing.

  “What?” Alfred demanded. “You really thought a few blow jobs would make me into a brain-dead little zombie, prepared to jump at every higher ranking wolf’s command?”

  Caden stepped forward. Alfred desperately tried to back away, but there was no getting past Marsdon while the alpha’s grip on his wrists kept him trapped and helpless.

  Very slowly, the
other gamma settled his palm on Alfred’s cheek. He tried to jerk his head away. All he succeeded in doing was head-butting the alpha’s shoulder.

  “Tell me what’s wrong?” Caden asked, gently. There was so much emotion in his eyes, and it looked so much like real concern, like how another wolf might look if he really did love him.

  Alfred closed his eyes as he turned his face away from all the lies. “Get your hands off me.”

  “Alfred,” Caden began.

  “It’s over.”

  “Over?” Caden repeated, blankly.

  “Yes, over!” Alfred yelled, unable to keep the words back. “I have no interest in being your mate—no intention of being blackmailed and bribed with the possibility that you just might let me screw a fine piece of arse at some point. What is it that you don’t understand about that?”

  “Alfred!” Marsdon snapped.

  For just the briefest moment, the alpha’s grip on him eased. Jerking away from him, Alfred wrenched himself out of his hold and lurched away from the other man. He stumbled forward until he found his way blocked by the long kitchen table.

  “That’s all you are,” Alfred growled at Caden as he span back to face him. He didn’t know if he was trying to convince Caden or himself, but the words tumbled out faster and faster regardless. “You’re just a pretty piece of arse. Well, I have no interest in being mated to some silly little slut who’ll cheerfully whore himself out whenever he wants to get his own way. Understand?”

  The blood seemed to drain from Caden’s face. There was no hint of the pride or smugness that Alfred had overheard in the barn anymore. “I… You…” He dropped his gaze as he trailed off into silence.

  “That’s enough.” Suddenly Gunnar was standing in front of Caden, big and stupid and worse even than all the others in the pack.

  A growl built in the back of Alfred’s throat. For a moment, his muscles tensed. His body screamed its desire to leap forward and claw each inch of flesh from the other man’s face. At the last moment, the tiny little part of Alfred that still remembered what it was to be part of a pack won out. He threw himself towards the door rather than the other wolves.