The Love of a Mate

by Kim Dare

  Except he wasn’t actually part of the pack right then. Wolves still stood ready to challenge his newfound desire to belong and be a piece of something larger than himself. If the alphas refused to accept him into the fold, it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference what the gammas all thought.

  “Talbot.”

  Alfred’s eyes snapped towards the little omega. He’d been slowly gaining confidence since he’d been mated to Gunnar, but right then, he seemed to be back to where he had been several months ago, a bundle of nerves and anxiety barely held together by his fragile frame.

  A memory presented itself in Alfred’s mind of when Bennett had been in the circle. He’d let Talbot pass through with barely a word. Alfred dropped his gaze to the grass in front of him. Suddenly, he understood why.

  “You’re a good omega,” Alfred said, as he looked up.

  Talbot lifted his gaze, his expression all shock and no challenge. He stood on the edge of the ring as if he was more than ready to jump back out of it at the first sign of anger from his opponent.

  Alfred stepped carefully forward, keeping all his movements calm, making sure there wasn’t even the slightest hint of a threat in them. Finally, he reached the omega.

  “You’d be wasted as a gamma.”

  Talbot said nothing.

  “We need someone to balance out Gunnar and the alphas,” Alfred went on. “You do that perfectly. I couldn’t, neither could anyone else in the pack.”

  A little touch of colour rose to Talbot’s cheeks. “I don’t want to challenge you,” he admitted.

  Alfred swallowed and cleared his throat. “Do you want me to be part of your pack?” Heaven knew he hadn’t actually given the omega any reason to want him within miles of him over the years.

  Talbot nodded. He smiled slightly. He really seemed to mean it.

  “Why?” Alfred blurted out.

  “Because omegas aren’t the only wolves a pack needs,” Talbot said very softly. “And because Gunnar might never have noticed me if he hadn’t been pointed towards a wolf who was the exact opposite of what he needed in a mate.”

  “Shake on it?” Alfred suggested, trying to hide his relief as best he could in order to appear strong and reassuring in the other wolf’s eyes.

  Talbot held out one small hand.

  Alfred shook it. At the same time, he ruffled the omega’s hair with his other hand. It was a clumsy attempt to copy a gesture he’d seen the other wolves bestow on Talbot so many times over the years, but Talbot seemed to sense he was doing his best. The little guy didn’t even flinch at his raised hand.

  Dipping his head, Alfred dropped his voice to a whisper. “You’d better go to your mate, before Gunnar has a fit waiting for you to get out of the circle.”

  Another smile reached Talbot’s lips as he quickly did as Alfred commanded.

  The omega had barely left the circle when Bennett stepped forward. He strode into the centre with complete confidence and Alfred’s mind immediately raced back to the last time he’d faced Bennett there.

  There’d been no quiet little conversations with wolves he’d known his whole life for Bennett. The challenges to an alpha’s place in the pack were never that simple.

  “I’m sorry,” Alfred said.

  Bennett didn’t say anything for a long time.

  “I didn’t know,” Alfred whispered.

  “Yes, you did,” the alpha corrected. “You knew exactly what you were doing when you challenged me, and you know exactly what would happen once you sowed doubts in the other wolves’ heads.”

  Alfred swallowed. When he met Bennett’s eyes for a moment, he knew there was no way in hell he’d be allowed to hide behind even half-lies right then. “Yes,” he admitted. “I knew.”

  “So tell me why,” Bennett ordered, slowly starting to circle Alfred.

  Unable to turn and keep his attention on the other wolf without risking making himself so dizzy he’d be unable to keep his footing, Alfred stayed very still.

  “Because they all respected you. Because they accepted the fact you should outrank them without a thought. Because…” Alfred closed his eyes for a moment, but when he opened them, he forced himself to meet the other man’s eyes. “Because if I had acted that way with a lover, they’d have taken it as a sign that I really belonged at the bottom of the pack. It wasn’t fair that you should be able to do that and keep your place while I…”

  “While you were forced to live in a rank your nature isn’t suited to,” Bennett finished for him.

  “I just knew I was angry,” Alfred said, with a frown. “I don’t think I even really knew why until…” He waved a hand at the circle beneath their feet, unable to find the right words to go on.

  Bennett nodded as if that made perfect sense. His hair fell forward into his eyes, but he made no attempt to push it away. “That’s what a challenge circle should be used for.”

  Alfred stared at the trampled-down grass. The scent of it filled his lungs as he took a deep breath.

  “To make a pack stronger, not weaker,” Bennett went on.

  Alfred nodded. His eyes fell closed.

  “To allow a wolf to find his rightful place in the pack.”

  Another jerky little nod was all Alfred could manage.

  “Do you have any hesitation in accepting me as your alpha today?”

  “No!” Alfred had never been more certain of an answer in his life.

  “Then from this moment on, you’re part of my pack.” And Bennett turned to leave the circle as easily as that.

  “Wait!” Alfred rushed forward and caught hold of his sleeve. “That’s it?”

  The alpha smiled slightly. “You mean don’t I want revenge for what happened last time we stood in this circle?” Bennett shook his head. “That’s not what being an alpha is about.”

  The thin cotton slipped from Alfred’s fingers as the alpha turned and walked away. He stared after the other wolf, trying to think of something to say. He knew he deserved to be hammered black, blue and any other colour Bennett fancied for putting the alpha in the circle all those months ago. He was equally sure that a good wolf would take his punishment and maybe he’d be able to move on after it, but if Bennett wouldn’t go along with that idea then—

  Without any warning, Alfred’s legs were swept out from beneath him. He landed heavily on the grass. His fingers clawed at the blades as he stared up at Marsdon.

  The older wolf crouched in front of him, resting his forearms on his knees, the gentle breeze catching at his hair. “When you step out of this circle, you’ll be given a completely fresh start, an entirely clean slate. Nothing that happened before that moment will count against you. So, this is your last chance. If you want to take a swing at a member of your pack, do it now.”

  “I didn’t hurt them,” Alfred blurted out, with a glance towards the other members of the pack.

  “I know. I didn’t think you had it in you, but you acted exactly as the top-ranking gamma should. But, if you need to fight now, you can. I’ll fight you. I’ll see that you don’t get too badly hurt in the process, and I’ll see that you don’t hurt me too badly, either.”

  Alfred stared up at him. That was another part of being an alpha, he saw that now too—it was just the opposite side of the same coin that Bennett had offered him. Alfred closed his eyes to hide a wince. Right then, the other wolf’s kindness hurt far more than any blow from him ever could.

  Several minutes passed before he was able to force himself to meet the alpha’s eyes. The anger he’d seen there last time the challenge ring had been formed wasn’t there now, but as Alfred thought back to that day, he understood why Marsdon had hated him so much ever since.

  “I’m sorry,” he whispered for what felt like the millionth time that day.

  “For anything in particular?” Marsdon asked, still crouched next to him.

  “For making you watch Bennett in the ring.” Alfred looked down. “I didn’t know how hard it would have been, to watch a wolf you loved… I ju
st…”

  “Well, kiddo, I think you’re about to find out exactly what it’s like. I’m not the last wolf you have to convince to accept you back into the pack.” Marsdon stood up. He walked away.

  Alfred didn’t watch him go. His attention was all on the lone wolf still standing on the other side of the ring. Caden’s pretty blond hair was blowing in the breeze, his lips were as pink and kissable as ever, but his normally stunning eyes were full of tears.

  The blood drained out of Alfred’s face at the sight.

  Caden’s feet stepped forward and carried him across the grass. He wasn’t sure what was controlling them, but he knew it couldn’t be his brain. His mind had shut down completely the moment he had seen Alfred step into that ring.

  Reaching the centre of the circle, Caden lowered himself to his knees next to Alfred but he couldn’t bring himself to believe he had the right to reach out to the other wolf. Not after he’d screwed up so badly. Not after he’d put the man he loved in limbo. If he’d only had the sense to stick to fluttering his eyelashes and left the more serious matters to other men. If he’d just kept his mouth shut, then…

  Caden closed his eyes very tightly and felt fresh tears run down his cheeks. The only thing he could hope for now was that the circle would help Alfred find his true place in the pack. Wasting hope on himself and trying to believe they still had a future together would have been unforgiveable.

  “Caden?”

  He didn’t look up at the sound of his own name. When Caden opened his eyes, he kept them fixed firmly on the blurry little patch of ground between them.

  A hand appeared in his field of view and moved cautiously towards his cheek and wiped away a few of the tears.

  “There’s nothing to be afraid of. You know I’d never want to hurt you, right?” Alfred whispered as he pulled himself up off the ground and knelt right in front of Caden, their knees touching.

  Caden still kept his gaze lowered. Alfred’s jeans were dusty and grass-stained after his scuffles. That was his fault, too. It was all his fault—everything in the whole damn world was his fault. “I’m sorry.”

  “Isn’t that my line?” Alfred asked.

  Caden frowned at their knees.

  “What are you sorry for?” Alfred’s hand on his cheek dropped down to his throat. Slipping it under his chin, he gently forced Caden’s head back.

  He had no choice but to meet Alfred’s eyes then. “I never meant for them to put you in limbo. I just wanted them to give you a chance to find where you really belonged in the pack.” Caden swallowed rapidly. He’d never heard his own voice sound so weak, been so unsure of his ability to talk another man into liking him.

  Alfred stared at him in silence for a long time. Even while their eyes were locked, it was impossible for Caden to know what he was thinking.

  “Thank you.”

  Caden blinked. More tears fell.

  Alfred wiped them away. “Even if you didn’t do it on purpose, whatever you said to our alphas put me here. It was where I needed to be.” He stroked Caden’s cheek again. There wasn’t the slightest hint of anger in his voice or his eyes. His scent confirmed it all.

  Finally, Caden remembered how to breathe. Closing his eyes, he tried to bow his head as pure relief made him dizzy

  “No, don’t.”

  It was more a request than an order, but Caden couldn’t refuse the other wolf any more than he could disobey him.

  “I love you.”

  Caden blinked in confusion at the words, but Alfred didn’t. His eyes remained open. He held Caden’s gaze as if both their lives depended on it.

  “After what I said to you earlier,” Alfred said, the tiniest hint of uncertainty creeping into his voice. “I know I’ve no right to hope that—”

  “Always,” Caden cut in. He offered the other man a hopeful little smile.

  Alfred grinned back, but Caden’s view of that expression only lasted for a fraction of a second because within a moment their lips were together and his eyes were dropping closed to better concentrate on the wonder of the kiss.

  Without needing to engage his brain, Caden found his hands sliding into Alfred’s hair. He tumbled back, but Alfred somehow managed to brace their fall. The grass was soft beneath them, the scent of the crushed blades hung in the air, and it was soon joined by the scent of their rising desire.

  Desperate to deepen the kiss, Caden leaned up so far that they rolled over. Alfred let out a playful little growl and kept them tumbling over until Caden was once more on his back, his lover pinning him to the ground.

  Feeling the cut on Alfred’s lip made Caden whimper. He tried to hold Alfred’s head still so he could lap at the wound and kiss it better.

  Strong, determined hands wrapped around his wrists and pushed them to the ground. Alfred seemed to still then, as if concentrating very hard on Caden’s reactions, needing to be sure he noticed even the tiniest signal his lover was trying to send him.

  Caden mewed his pleasure into the kiss. Lifting his hips off the grass, he rubbed a flourishing erection against Alfred through their clothes as he quickly sought to prove how much he loved it all.

  A rumbling little growl of pleasure from Alfred was filled with more triumph than Caden ever remembered hearing before, even in the loudest howl from any other wolf.

  Whimpering gently, Caden tipped his head back, eager to display any sign of submission he could before the wolf he loved. Alfred immediately pressed a kiss against his neck and—

  “I think that more than fulfils the touching requirement.”

  Caden jerked his head around to face Marsdon as the alpha’s words forced their way into his senses. He and Bennett were still standing on the edge of the challenge circle. So were all the other wolves.

  “That’s not quite the kind of rolling around you’re supposed to do in there,” Bennett added.

  Caden looked warily up at Alfred. Whatever anger and annoyance he expected to see on his face was entirely absent. The only thing in his eyes was pride and possession. He liked that they had all seen them together. He liked that they all knew who Caden was going to belong to soon.

  “Yes, we all get the point,” Marsdon said. “You suit very well. We don’t need a complete demonstration. But, if you’ll put each other down for two minutes we can make it official. Then you can go continue in private.”

  Alfred sprang up from the ground so quickly, dragging Caden up onto his feet with him, Caden’s head spun.

  “I—?” was all Caden managed to say, because suddenly Alfred was pulling him forward.

  A moment later, just as Caden was starting to catch up, Alfred stopped abruptly. Still trying to make an arousal-addled mind work properly, Caden looked down. The edge of the challenge ring barred Alfred’s path.

  “You’re both very welcome in our pack,” Bennett said, all frivolity suddenly leaving his voice.

  Marsdon nodded his agreement, his expression just as serious as his mate’s.

  Alfred took a step forward, crossing the line in the grass. A little cheer went up from the other wolves. Caden glanced at his lover out of the corner of his eye. From the look on Alfred’s face and the slight blush on his cheeks, it was the first time anyone had ever cheered for him in his life.

  Alfred’s grip on Caden’s wrist tightened, as if his sudden change of fortune had taken away all his bearings and Caden was now his only solid point of reference. Leaning into the other wolf’s body, Caden encouraged his soon-to-be mate to slip an arm around his shoulders and allow him to wrap an arm around his waist in return.

  A smile that didn’t seem to be entirely as confident as it purported to be hung on Alfred’s lips as they all made their way to the spot where all the other mating ceremonies in the pack had been conducted.

  It took all Caden’s strength of will to step away from the other wolf for long enough to be formally mated to him, but it was he who made the decision to separate their bodies. Unless Caden was very much mistaken, it would be the last decision he neede
d to make on that score for quite some time. Alfred had more than proved he was ready to step forward and take care of them both.

  Even when he allowed Caden to step away, Alfred kept hold of his hand. As they faced each other, his grip on Caden remained as tight as ever. The alpha’s hands covered theirs, sealing them together, offering them their complete blessing and their unwavering approval.

  Caden held Alfred’s gaze. He saw every flicker of emotion, saw what the alphas’ actions meant to him. Alfred’s grip tightened around his hand even further, completely cutting off the circulation to three of his fingers, as if he was scared Caden might try to pull his hand away.

  “Alpha to gamma, wolf to wolf, we offer you the chance to form a new life, a new bond, a new pairing within our pack,” the alphas recited.

  “An unmated wolf takes a mate and forms a bond with another unmated wolf from your pack,” Alfred said, each word full of triumph and confidence. “A bond that can never be broken.”

  Caden lifted his gaze. His own brand of strength flowed into his words as he repeated them back to his lover. There was no flirtation, no pretence in there—just honesty, just love.

  The alphas barely had time to release their hands before Alfred jerked Caden into his arms. The grip he took on him was almost painful, almost—there was just a touch of control mixed in with the strength, more than a hint of reassurance woven through the possessive gesture.

  Other wolves patted Caden on the shoulder and ruffled his hair, but there was little else they could do while Alfred held him like that. He heard congratulations flowing around them, but couldn’t lift his head to meet anyone’s gaze.

  “Don’t make me break you up by force,” Marsdon eventually said, laughter dancing in his voice.

  When Alfred let him go with obvious reluctance, Caden forced himself to turn away from his mate and accept congratulations from the pack properly.

  “If you can keep each other from getting into too much trouble, I guess it’s a good thing,” Gunnar muttered as he stepped forward.