Daisies Are Forever

by Liz Tolsma

The sagging front door opened and Kurt stepped inside, peeling off his brown officer’s coat and hanging it on the peg. He scanned the living room, a glint touching his cold eyes when he found Gisela.

  He sat beside her and she stirred. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

  Mitch detected very little sincerity in his words.

  Gisela sat upright, searching Kurt’s hard face. “Do you have news? Did you find Mutti?”

  He shook his head.

  She slumped.

  “But I did come home with a good thing.” He reached inside his shirt pocket.

  Mitch wandered into the living room.

  Kurt pulled out a handful of ration cards. “Extra milk for the girls.”

  A smile, small but there, lit Gisela’s face. “Oh, Kurt, danke. This is so good. I’ve been worried about them since they were sick. They will have a few extra calories at least. When Ella comes for them, they will be more than just bones.” She brushed her lips against Kurt’s angular cheek.

  Mitch’s stomach boiled. His words slithered from between his teeth. “Where did you get them?”

  A muscle jumped in Kurt’s jaw.

  Gisela waved him off. “I don’t want to know. I don’t care. This is the best gift I have ever received. Better than any Christmas present. Only Mutti coming home would have topped this.”

  Mitch turned and stomped back to the kitchen, choosing to sit in the chair with his back to the living room.

  Gisela may not have cared to know where the ration cards came from, but Mitch had an idea. If she ever found out, she would be horrified to know that Annelies and Renate drank dead children’s milk.

  TWENTY-NINE

  Gisela waited in the long bread queue with Audra, clutching her purse strap like it was cemented to her hand. The patent leather of the rectangular-shaped pocketbook was scuffed and scarred, but its cargo was precious. It held the extra ration coupons Kurt had procured.

  A look of triumph had hardened his angular features. He had grabbed her around the waist and twirled her around the living room, whooping. Mitch had tried to sour the moment, but she wouldn’t let him. At this time, she needed good news and relished in it.

  The extra coupons came in very handy today. The twentieth of April. Hitler’s birthday.

  They had been told they were to be given an eight-day ration. And it appeared as if that was the case—a tin of vegetables, a few ounces of sugar, and a tiny bit of real coffee. What a treat that would be. And with the extra coupons, they would have even more.

  Audra shifted her weight from one foot to the other. “You must be eager to return to America.”

  Gisela nodded. “Though I will miss Josep very much.”

  “But you won’t go to England?” Audra sounded almost insistent.

  “Why do you ask?”

  “You’re from America. That’s where you want to go. And England is so cold and rainy. Maybe we could go to America together.”

  Gisela shrugged. “Perhaps.” A movement across the street caught her eye. There stood a young boy, no more than thirteen years old, not yet grown, not yet matured, holding a rifle as large as himself. His drab brown uniform hung from his shoulders and his pants legs dragged on the ground. He had cinched a rope around his waist to hold up his trousers. A shock of yellow-blond hair stuck out from under a cap with a hatband that buckled at the bottom.

  Today the artillery sounded closer than ever. She and Audra didn’t want to be out, standing in line, waiting for food. But it couldn’t be helped. They had to eat. They had taken to cooking on the old wood stove in the basement. They resided in the shelter these days, to save energy from running up and down the stairs during the almost-continuous air raids. No one minded the mice and the spiders as much as they once did.

  Gisela had thought about taking the girls with her this morning, then decided to leave them at home with Mitch. The choice was easy. Out here, no one was safe. The Luftwaffe had been all but wiped out and the Allied planes met little resistance. The air-raid sirens didn’t always sound.

  She couldn’t risk having Mitch go out. He drew too much unwelcome attention unless he pretended to have lost an arm. And then he wouldn’t be able to carry as many provisions. With eight days of rations, perhaps they would have enough for the duration. The next time they had to venture out, maybe the skies would be quiet.

  Though the wait was lengthy, the queue picked up speed more than other days. Today women hurried home, their precious bundles hidden beneath their coats.

  Explosions rocked the ground and rang in Gisela’s ears. She shivered and hugged herself. “That shelling is so close. Right in the middle of city by the way it sounds.”

  Audra nodded. “When will the Americans come?”

  Since the death of President Roosevelt, Frau Mueller had been pulling out her battery-operated radio and listening to the BBC for a short time each night. They both knew the Americans wouldn’t come. “Sixty miles away and they are letting the Red Army do all of the work. With the Russians, we trade one bad thing for another.”

  The women around them murmured in agreement. A tall, thin lady shook her head. “The Soviets are already at Seelow Heights and Baruth. It won’t be long now.”

  Suburban Berlin. Mere kilometers away. No, it wouldn’t be long now. Not long at all. And then what would happen to them?

  Another loud explosion shook the ground. Oh, for it to be still for a moment. Often it felt like they were on a ship on the ocean, the land under their feet always swaying.

  Every few minutes, she glanced at the very young man nearby standing guard. If only she could help him. The Nazis robbed him of his childhood—and likely, his life.

  Audra shifted her weight from one foot to the other, the worn-through toe of her brown lace-up shoes stuffed with paper. “Josep gave me some of his rations yesterday. He said a beautiful woman like me shouldn’t be so thin.”

  Gisela turned her attention from the boy-soldier. Why on earth would Audra tell her such a thing? “That was kind of him. He is a good man.” A good man who made her heart flutter in a much different way than falling bombs made it pound.

  “I notice the way he looks at me. He thinks I don’t see him, but I do. He has invited me to meet his family in England when the war is over.”

  Gisela tapped the heel of her oxford on the pitted pavement. He had never spoken such words to her. Had he turned his sights on Audra? Did he stay to be near her?

  Everything was crumbling around her. All of these days and no sign of Mutti. Gisela struggled to hold out hope for her. Now Mitch was interested in Audra.

  Her heart shattered like the panes of glass during Kristallnacht.

  By the end of the war, she would have nothing left.

  They spoke no more as they waited their turn. At last they reached the counter and presented their coupons and their money. As they exited, they clutched the precious packages to their chests, unwilling to lose even one crumb.

  The boy with the rifle remained rooted to his spot. As anxious as she was to get back to the girls, the young man intrigued her. She broke off course and headed toward him.

  A fat tear rolled down the child’s sunken cheek.

  Gisela handed him her handkerchief. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was told to stand here. I have to shoot the Soviets when they come.” His entire body, head to toe, trembled, his voice high and clear.

  Her temperature rose a few degrees. How could those Nazis recruit children to fight a lost cause? It was one thing to draft old men like her father, but this . . . “Are you scared?”

  He straightened his spine and clutched his weapon so his knuckles turned white. “I am not.”

  “Do you want to kill people?”

  “Ja.” But the tremor in his voice exposed him.

  “Why don’t you go home to your mutti?”

  “Because the SS will hang me and shoot Mutti. I don’t want anything bad to happen to her.”

  If the boy stayed and shot at the
Soviets as they entered the city, he would die for sure. Gisela scratched her forehead. Either way, the kid was doomed.

  “What is your name?”

  “Jorgen.”

  “How old are you?”

  “Thirteen.”

  “What are you going to do, Jorgen?”

  “Stay here, build my trench, and fight the Russians.”

  At thirteen, this boy hadn’t begun to live life yet.

  “The Red Army will be here soon.” His words were brave, even as his gun slipped from his grip and clattered to the ground. He hurried to retrieve it, and his hand shook when he reached for his weapon.

  Another loud burst of artillery rang through the air. Gisela’s head pounded and her ears buzzed. She grabbed Jorgen by the hand. “Let’s get out of here.”

  “What on earth are you doing?” Audra shouted at Gisela, but she chose to ignore Audra. She couldn’t close her eyes to the boy with the face of trust and innocence.

  So much like the faces of her cousins.

  The threesome ran through the streets of Berlin, around the wreckage, over heaps of rubble, Gisela clutching a package of food in one hand and with the other pulling Jorgen behind her. When she turned to him, he held to that menacing-looking weapon.

  “Drop it. Drop the gun.”

  He shook his head.

  She had to make him obey her. “Get rid of it or we’ll get shot.”

  Again he shook his head.

  Gisela’s heart pounded in her chest, her lungs ready to explode. “Drop it.”

  At last he flung it away. They continued to run. She pulled harder on Jorgen’s arm to keep him going. “We are almost there.” Another round of artillery fire crackled not far from them.

  Audra pulled ahead of them. “Keep going. Come on.”

  Nothing had ever looked as beautiful as the war-scarred building where seven frightened people huddled in the lower level. Counting Audra and herself and now Jorgen, that brought their total to ten.

  Gisela pushed Jorgen up the steps. Once inside, they paused, hands on their knees. Her breathing and heart rate refused to slow.

  Mitch clattered up the stairs to greet them. “Who is he?”

  “This boy, a mere thirteen-year-old child, stands guard on the corner by the grocer, ready to shoot the Russians when they arrive.”

  “Tell me you didn’t.”

  “I did. I had to. He faced certain death there. At least here, he has a chance.”

  Mitch touched her face and her cheek burned where his fingertips rested. She wanted to kiss his palm. Then she heard Audra harrumph and remembered her earlier words.

  “You are beautiful. Exasperating, but beautiful.” Mitch touched the small of her back. “We had better get downstairs.”

  The shriek of bombs falling drove them forward. The Russians were shelling them while the Allies conducted an air raid. In America, they would call this “double trouble.”

  She got Jorgen settled on the bench that ran along one wall. He hadn’t said a word to them since they took off. He wrung his hands together, looking more like a playmate for Annelies than a warrior.

  “Any word about Mutti?”

  Mitch shook his head. He needed a bath and a shave. “Nein. No one has come.”

  “Is the message still there?”

  He nodded. “I checked this morning. No one has posted anything else.”

  “Why can’t we find her? Why has no one come to us with information? Where is she?”

  Mitch rubbed her arm. She backed away. “I don’t need comfort. I need Mutti.”

  A bomb burst nearby, so close that limestone from the ceiling rained on them. “I wish I knew what to say to you.”

  “Say you have found her.”

  “What about the boy?”

  “He’s staying here.” She switched to English so Jorgen wouldn’t know what she said. “If the SS comes, we will have to hide him. Maybe dress him like a little girl. Keep him safe. He was going to die out there. I can’t leave a child to die.”

  “If they discover Jorgen here, the SS will kill every one of us.”

  “You pose as much of a threat. You could be hung or shot as a deserter. Every one of us in here stands in peril. We have to make sure neither the SS nor the Soviets find any of us.”

  That task would be harder than climbing the Alps.

  Mitch flicked a glance at Jorgen. The boy sat on the hard wood bench, his shoulders slumped, his eyes closed. “I’m not unsympathetic to his plight, but I’ve a responsibility to you and the others in the house. I need to protect you. My job just got a lot tougher.”

  “I couldn’t leave him there. I couldn’t.”

  He understood. Gisela collected waifs like other people collected porcelain figurines.

  “Are you angry with me?” Hurt and disappointment radiated from her eyes.

  “No. I can’t blame you. I’m not sure I’d have had your courage. It was risky.”

  “You won’t send him away?”

  That would sign the boy’s death sentence. “No, I won’t. But you had better get working on a disguise for him. And burn the uniform. His, Kurt’s, anything that would link us to Hitler, the Nazis, the army.” Good thing Herr Cramer’s books had all been destroyed along with their flat. The Soviets would have no mercy on any Nazi sympathizers. “And bury anything of value. Get rid of it. The Russians will take whatever they can lay their hands on.”

  Bettina clucked. “What are we burying, dearies? Hidden treasure? Could we search for it? What a fun game that would be.”

  Katya bounced Renate on her knee. “Oh my, ja. Is there a treasure map? We have to have clues where to look.”

  Gisela ignored them. “What if they find us? Then what?”

  He refused to think about the possibility. Lord, protect them. I can’t do it.

  Then the loudest whistle he ever heard headed straight for them.

  Audra screamed and clutched his arm.

  His breathing ceased, and he couldn’t feel his heart beating. He locked his knees and braced for impact. For the explosion and searing heat.

  For death.

  THIRTY

  Mitch closed his eyes. The whistle of the approaching bomb pierced his eardrums. The others in the shelter screamed.

  The ground shook and the upstairs windows rattled.

  God, save us!

  Then silence.

  He counted to ten and started to breathe, then dared to open his eyes. He wrenched his arm from Audra’s embrace. She resisted. The pressure of her touch reassured him that he wasn’t dreaming.

  Or dead.

  He wilted in relief, his arms and legs going weak.

  The others lifted their heads. A little at a time, they began to speak. They laughed and patted each other on the back. “We’re alive.”

  Audra leaned against his chest. “We almost died.” Her green eyes filled with tears.

  “Almost.”

  Annelies whimpered in the background.

  Audra batted her just-about-white eyelashes. “You protected us.”

  He sat back from her, steadying her with his hand, which he released as soon as she straightened. “Nein. Only God did.”

  “Where did it land?” Gisela, sitting on the bed across from him with the girls, spoke in his direction but didn’t look into his eyes.

  “Very close. In the garden, perhaps. Stay here. I’m going to check it out.”

  Gisela leaned toward him. “Nein. Don’t you go out there. If it was a bomb, it could explode at any time.”

  He switched to English, not knowing the German for what he needed to say. “If it made it from the plane to the ground without going off, it’s not likely to do so anytime soon. Just as a precaution, let me see what landed next to us.”

  She shot nervous glances at the girls and at him. Hurt and uncertainty colored her face.

  “Stay here. I will be fine, I promise.”

  Kurt commandeered the spot next to her. “Ja, stay here with me and you will be safe.”<
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  Mitch’s shoulders tensed. He turned and took the stairs two at a time and was soon blinking in the sunlight. The day was warm and calm.

  He climbed over piles of rubble. He crept around the corner of the building, staying low, ready to hit the ground at any instant if the bomb should explode. Not that he would have a chance to react. And there, in the garden, a giant crater gaped where potatoes and cabbages had grown. Stepping lightly, going a few paces closer, he saw the tail fins of the bomb. The body of it was as large as a man’s torso.

  The real deal.

  Thank You, Lord.

  If this shell had detonated as intended, there would be ten dead people in the building’s shelter.

  His knees wavered and he sank to the ground, trembling.

  Images of the carnage this bomb could have delivered slashed through his mind like a picture show. The blood in his veins turned to ice.

  He hadn’t stopped it like Audra gave him credit for. Nothing he did prevented the tragedy. He sat helpless in the basement, awaiting the end.

  But it hadn’t come.

  “Why?” The word echoed in the soft breeze.

  No sooner had the thought escaped his lips than he knew the answer.

  God.

  Only God.

  Only Him.

  He spared their lives. He watched over them all the way from the POW camp in East Prussia, through Danzig, and their days in Berlin. In fact, God had allowed the Germans to capture Mitch so he would spend the bulk of the war far from harm.

  The warmth of God’s presence flooded him and he shrugged off his jacket, looking to the heavens. “You are here, Lord, aren’t You?”

  A breeze tickled the back of his neck and a ray of sun warmed his face.

  On his own, he was as useless as a puff of air against a brick building. It didn’t matter what he did or where he went. God had his life under His control.

  Even if this bomb in front of him had discharged, God would have kept him safe and delivered Mitch to his heavenly home.

  In the recesses of his mind, he heard his father’s voice reading the Bible the night before he left home. Hear my cry, O God; attend unto my prayer. From the end of the earth will I cry unto thee, when my heart is overwhelmed: lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For thou hast been a shelter for me, and a strong tower from the enemy.