Holding the Fort

by Regina Jennings

  He didn’t get very far before there was a knock on the door. Caroline popped out of the parlor and beat him to it. Sergeant Byrd stammered a greeting. His fluster was going to get him into Daniel’s black book very quickly. The troopers were supposed to ignore his daughters. Then again, maybe it wasn’t Caroline who had him shaken. Maybe it was the crone with him.

  “Major, this is Mrs. Woodward. She’s here at your request.”

  Caroline’s forehead wrinkled as she looked to Daniel for answers, but he had none.

  The woman was thin—thin like the steel rails the trains ran on. She came inside and stood as if she was trying not to take up any room. Content to stand and appraise the situation before pronouncing her judgment.

  “I’m Major Adams, ma’am,” he said. “How may I help you?”

  Her eyes lit on Caroline and assessed her from crown to heel. “I came to be of help to you, sir. I’ve come to teach your children.”

  Daniel’s mouth went dry. “Caroline, go upstairs.”

  “Where’s Miss Bell going?” Caroline demanded. “You can’t send her away.”

  “Upstairs, Caroline.”

  “Miss Bell is my friend. I have a right—”

  “Young lady!” Mrs. Woodward’s voice stabbed the air like an icicle shot from a cannon. “You aren’t listening to your father.”

  Daniel eyed her warily. “This is your last warning,” he said to Caroline. Caroline raced up the stairs and flew into her room. It didn’t escape his notice that she left the door open and would be listening to everything said between them.

  “Come in my office, please.” He had to figure this out. He remembered asking Agent Dyer to check on Louisa’s references. After that, well, he had an uprising on his hands. Someone should cut him some slack.

  “I’m sorry to be obtuse,” he said, “but how are you here, again?”

  His uncertainty did not please her. “Didn’t you receive our letter?”

  Oh, the letter. His eyes darted to the fireplace. “I did, but it became damaged before I read it.”

  “You requested a referral for a good Mennonite governess. Upon learning that Mrs. Townsend had turned back and that you had someone of unknown character serving in her place, I was dispatched. I come with all the necessary references and qualifications. And I know Agent Dyer personally, so there’s no doubt as to my suitability.”

  Daniel swiped his hand over a dusty corner of his desk. All this time, he’d had his doubts, and yet he was shocked to hear definitively that Louisa was not who he thought she was. Hadn’t he known it, though? Why else had he decided that he’d rather burn that letter than read it?

  Well, he couldn’t toss Mrs. Woodward into the fireplace and do away with her, too. He had to make a decision in light of this new information, and he was surprised to find that his decision hadn’t changed.

  With her slight frame and tight gray bun, Mrs. Woodward was exactly what he’d imagined when describing his ideal teacher to Agent Dyer. A mature older lady who didn’t look susceptible to frivolity or idleness. She wouldn’t sit with her feet up on the couch. She wouldn’t roam the fields looking for wildflowers. She wouldn’t have let Daisy sneak away and interrupt his council.

  Mrs. Woodward might be a good governess, but she wasn’t the best. Not for his family.

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Woodward, but the position has been filled.”

  “Nonsense. By whom?”

  “I will have you accompanied to Darlington tonight, where you’ll find comfortable accommodations and your friends Agent Dyer and his wife.”

  “Major Adams, I must insist that you carefully consider your decision. How could you allow someone who has misled you to remain in your household?”

  Daniel had always thought of himself as a rational man, but even he didn’t understand. He didn’t know how Louisa had ended up at his house, but he wanted her to stay because he trusted her. Was that crazy? He didn’t believe everything she’d told him, but he trusted that she would do right by him and the girls.

  But there was no way to explain that to Mrs. Woodward.

  “I apologize for the inconvenience. I’ll telephone Agent Dyer and tell him that you are on your way. Now, if you’ll excuse me . . .”

  Daniel went to the door and motioned for a trooper to assist her. Determined and persistent, she protested all the way to the wagon, but Daniel was resolute. He wouldn’t trade Louisa now.

  Caroline rushed down the stairs, leaned against Daniel’s arm, and watched Mrs. Woodward be escorted away.

  “Miss Bell isn’t a governess?” Caroline said.

  “She’s teaching you, isn’t she? That makes her a governess.” He sighed. “You won’t say a word to her.”

  Caroline tucked her hand beneath his arm. “Don’t worry, Father. You made the right decision. It’ll be our secret.”

  While knowing that Louisa wasn’t a Mennonite missionary didn’t trouble him overly much, Daniel had many questions. Where had she come from? How had this governess shown up on his doorstep when he’d needed her?

  “Where is she?” he asked. He hadn’t seen Louisa since he’d returned.

  “She’s upstairs fixing Daisy’s hair. All those feathers made a mess.”

  And with Sheridan coming for dinner, they needed all the spit and polish they could muster.

  That evening, Sheridan was complimentary of Daniel’s command, even after the slight he’d received at the council meeting. In the end, his pragmatism won out, allowing him and the other generals to enjoy their time at Daniel’s table. But how could they not? Daniel had three of the loveliest females on the planet gracing his dining room.

  “It must be a trial, Major Adams, raising such beautiful daughters amid these men. That you aren’t concerned about them speaks well of the discipline of your troops,” General Sheridan said.

  “Thank you, sir,” Daniel said. “I couldn’t do it without the invaluable services of Miss Bell. She has been an excellent instructor for my daughters.”

  Caroline’s brow rose while Louisa squirmed in her chair. Why didn’t Louisa just tell him the truth? She had to know he loved her, no matter what her reasons for coming to the fort were.

  “And I understand we are to be entertained tomorrow night,” Sheridan remarked. “But not until we return from the hunt.”

  “We’ve heard you can’t pull a trigger without hitting a turkey here,” General Miles said.

  “You will see plenty of game,” Daniel assured them. He could make plans for the hunting and entertainment, but the truth of the matter was that they were all at the mercy of Sheridan. If he decided to hunt from sunup to sundown, that was what would happen.

  Daisy had been quiet all evening, not wanting to push her luck after interrupting the officers’ meeting with the chiefs, but Daniel should have known it wouldn’t last. “I like to hunt turkey,” she said. “I’m a crack shot.”

  General Sheridan beamed at her. “Aren’t you a little pistol? Of course you like to hunt.”

  “But I must be careful of hornets’ nests,” she added. “I stepped into one and it nearly killed me.”

  Daniel supposed it had only been a matter of time before Daisy worked that into the conversation. She wanted everyone to know. The officers murmured their concern.

  But Daisy hadn’t gotten enough attention with her hornet story, so she tried again.

  “Miss Bell and Father are courting.”

  Louisa froze with her fork in midair. Every eye turned from his striking governess to rest on him. Daniel fixed a death glare on Daisy while Caroline elbowed her.

  “Ouch, stop it,” his youngest protested.

  “Isn’t it your bedtime?” Caroline asked.

  Daniel managed to make it through the rest of the dinner without further embarrassment. Sheridan didn’t say a word about Daisy’s pronouncement, but that didn’t mean he approved. Only that an officer didn’t discuss a soldier’s performance in the presence of his family. Daniel would hear about it tomorrow.


  Dinner was over, and the party was breaking apart. Daniel picked up his hat to walk the general and his staff back to their quarters for the night. Louisa herded the girls upstairs as Sergeant Nothem and Private Gundy cleared the table. The men were sharing hunting stories as they passed outside, giving Daniel a chance to catch Louisa by the wrist before she accompanied the girls to their room.

  “Meet me in my office?” he whispered. “I’ll be back directly.”

  A timid smile was her only answer.

  Daniel couldn’t get the general and his men to their quarters quickly enough. The lamp in his office was lit when he came back across the damp grass. What if he’d gotten what he’d asked for and Mrs. Woodward was waiting in the house for him instead of Louisa? But that wasn’t happening. Yes, he had questions, but he’d wait until she was ready to tell him.

  Daniel entered his office. He dropped his hat on his desk and removed his belt and saber. Louisa fidgeted in her chair by the chessboard. Maybe removing a belt was considered disrobing in some circles. Was he treating her too familiarly? It was hard to remember she wasn’t already part of his family.

  He took a seat opposite her, glad to see the chess pieces ready to go. “Thank you for tonight,” he said. “I hope it wasn’t awkward.”

  She ran her hand over her cascade of curls. “I was nervous that I would mess it up for you.”

  He leaned forward, a conspiratorial air surrounding them. “What did you think of Sheridan? What was your impression?”

  “General Sheridan strikes me as a man who will succeed in his mission. He doesn’t waste time worrying about the consequences.” She chose a pawn for her first move. Then her eyelashes fluttered as she looked up at him. “There’s another officer whom I much prefer.”

  Oh, Louisa. She had no idea how her words thrilled him.

  “You performed wonderfully tonight at dinner,” he said. “You have quite the stage presence.”

  And just like that, the moment was broken. She darted a glance at the door like she might bolt.

  “Don’t get your tail feathers tweaked,” he said. “I only mean that you’re comfortable being the center of attention. I’ve noticed how you like to demonstrate the singing, elocution, and deportment lessons for the girls. You have a natural grace and knack for performance. Don’t forget that the first time I ever saw you, you were singing.”

  “The first time I ever saw you, you were hurling toward the ground, but I don’t claim that you have a natural affinity for being a cannonball.”

  “Touché.” He moved his pawn and breathed a little easier. “I spent the next day convinced you were a creation of my imagination. I didn’t think anyone could be so beautiful.”

  She ducked her head as she moved a piece. “And I thought you were the stern, unbending commander who was opposed to my brother.”

  He laughed. “I was. I still am.”

  “And I’m glad. Without the two of us looking after him, he wouldn’t have become the man he’s grown to be now.”

  Daniel was drunk with accomplishment. Everything was falling into place, just as it should. “Hopefully we can partner in raising more promising young people as well.”

  “That’s what you hired me to do—instruct Caroline and Daisy.”

  “That’s only a beginning.” He brimmed over with hope. The day had been a success, and the more time he spent with Louisa, the more convinced he was that he’d made the right choice, sending the other governess away.

  Victory belonged to those courageous enough to pursue it, and Daniel never lacked for courage.

  He moved a chess piece. “Louisa, would you do me the unfathomable honor of becoming my wife?”

  He had asked her a question, but she had no answer. The chessboard blurred before her eyes, the black and white checks melting into gray.

  Seeing Daniel at the council that day, and then at dinner, at the head of a table full of important men, had reminded Louisa how proud she was of him. He had endured much to rise to his position. He deserved the best.

  And she wasn’t the best. A man with his ambition couldn’t afford to pluck a wife out of the gutter. Louisa would only hurt his career.

  She hadn’t realized that she was turning her queen over and over in her hand until Daniel took it from her and set it in the middle of the board.

  Louisa’s neck tightened. She hadn’t meant to touch it. And the queen couldn’t move there, anyway. The path was blocked. Besides, the queen was vulnerable there. She could be taken out by the weakest opponent, the row of pawns staring her down.

  She hated to be vulnerable.

  “I don’t know if it’s possible,” she said.

  “Most officers are married,” Daniel replied. “And at my rank, you could expect accommodations no matter where we’re stationed.”

  “It’s not that.” Louisa kept her eye on the stranded queen, all alone in a place she hadn’t earned. “What would people think?”

  “Who? Do you have anyone I should speak to? An uncle? Someone from the missionary organization?”

  “No,” Louisa answered too quickly.

  “What about your stepfather? Bradley’s dad?”

  When Louisa had described herself as an orphan, she hadn’t gone into detail. The fact of the matter was that her father and Bradley’s were probably both alive. That didn’t mean they knew of their whereabouts.

  “He’s gone, too.” Gone to drink, gone to work, gone to Timbuktu, for all Louisa knew.

  “Well then, neither of us has family to oppose us, and as for your being in my employ, I imagine that issue will be discussed with General Sheridan tomorrow, but it isn’t unusual. Almost every maid, governess, or cook hired by the army ends up married to some scruffy soldier. You wouldn’t be the first.”

  But Louisa wasn’t worried about the shame of Major Adams being yoked to a governess. No, her offense was much stronger than that.

  Seeing that no answer was forthcoming, Daniel took his white knight and placed it in the center of the board, next to Louisa’s queen.

  “I think they belong together,” he said.

  “You can’t move there,” she replied. “Neither of them should be there. It’s against the rules.”

  “That depends on what game you’re playing.”

  “And my queen could destroy your knight.”

  “I’m not afraid.”

  That was only because he didn’t know. She wanted to accept his proposal more than anything, but first she’d have to tell him the truth. If he turned her out and forbade her from seeing the girls—which he’d have every right to do for her dishonesty—a part of her would perish. The stakes were too high to change anything.

  “Courage, Louisa.” His voice had an edge, deep and commanding, no hint of patience in his demeanor. “Can you tell me what the big secret is? Can you tell me what great obstacle is keeping you from what you want?”

  “From what I want?”

  “I’ve offered you my love, my hand, my family, everything I have. You’re too kind to toy with me, and you haven’t refused me. And when I touch you, you don’t reject my caresses.”

  Louisa gasped. “You can’t say that.”

  “I’ve treated you as a sister, trying not to take advantage of your proximity.” His eyes held her pinned, unable to hide. “But your responses are anything but sisterly.”

  She couldn’t refute him. His words alone made her pulse race. “I’m . . . I’m sorry.”

  “Never, never be sorry. Just tell me the truth. Tell yourself the truth.” He stood and pulled her to her feet. “Louisa, if you have some reservation about my character or about my devotion, you can tell me. If you don’t desire that we be united, give me a reason, and I’ll stop pursuing you, but I’m very afraid I can’t stop loving you.”

  Louisa gripped his hands as if her very life depended on it. He was so earnest as he waited for her response. What if he never found out? What if no one dared tell him?

  He was reading her struggle, waiting breathlessly.
He was all she wanted. Why should she break his heart? Why should she break her own?

  Because sooner or later, she would have to bend her will to her Creator’s. She now knew it was inevitable. She couldn’t run from God, she couldn’t hide, and being found meant that she had to tell Daniel the truth. She couldn’t go into a marriage knowing the disclosure would come afterward.

  “Daniel, you remember my questions about God?”

  His throat jogged, and his brow wrinkled. “I remember.”

  “I haven’t been sure what to do. A part of me knows that choosing to follow Christ will be my only true hope for peace, but I’m afraid. God requires so much. He demands so much.”

  “Whatever is holding you back, you have to let it go.” If he’d been earnestly pleading with her before, now he was even more. “I can’t imagine what a struggle you’ve had, trying to hide these doubts, but there’s no reason to keep fighting. There is nothing on Earth that can take the place of a relationship with God. No matter what else you decide tonight, this is the most important.”

  And that was exactly what she was afraid he would say. She could feel her eyes starting to smart. “In my heart, I’ve already decided. I just don’t know what to do next. How do I obey?”

  He smiled fondly and brushed her hair back from her face. “My guess is that you already know what to do, you’re just afraid to do it.”

  She wanted to stop time and bask in his love and acceptance forever, but it couldn’t last. Her dishonesty would hurt him—had already hurt him. He just didn’t know it yet.

  “You’re right, as usual.” She caught his hand in hers and held it against her cheek. “I can’t marry you. In fact, you need to find another governess for Caroline and Daisy. This isn’t what I’m supposed to be doing.”

  His hand grew heavy as her words sank in. “You think God is telling you to leave?” He stepped away. “You can’t be sure yet.”

  “It’s not right for me to be here. I know that. It’s not who I am.”