Change

by J. A. Smith

  I started to feel the gravity pulling me down as the sunset.

  “Damnit” I mumbled knowing they had one this round. I heard chuckles coming from the front yard. I opened my door and went to stand in my kitchen by the back door. I figured I could change and then make a run for it, I knew these woods better than they did, though they would be able to track me from my smell, but I was also faster. I got undressed right there in my kitchen and unlocked the back door, it was narrow so I would have to change back before I could come back into my house. I closed it behind me and locked it with a key so they couldn’t go in and wait for me to return, I knew I was running scared but I had no idea how to answer the questions they would no doubt ask.

  I placed the key under the mate and jumped into the air changing before I hit the ground. Once I hit the forest I found a tall tree to climb knowing they wouldn’t be able to reach me. I was hoping my scent would be fainter if I went high into the tree, now I could see from a bird’s eye looking down. I knew I would eventually have to eat, but I didn’t need to stay in tiger form for that, thankfully it was one of the perks I had since I changed so much with Richard and Amelia.

  I saw a mountain lion from my perch on the tree limbs, my tiger wanted so badly to chase it but I held her back as much as possible trying to convince her there were other dangers tonight. I usually didn’t have to go to these extremes anymore, we were one in the same but tonight she really wanted to hunt since I didn’t let her out as much as she was used to.

  “Lana, come on we need to talk” Quinn thought to me from a distance. My tiger wanted to play with others, but I knew her form of playing could be lethal when challenged so I stayed on my perch, watching the ground as two Bengal tigers came out of the brush just under my tree. They couldn’t smell me at all since I was so high up, I watched as they attacked the mountain lion my tiger had wanted so badly. Graceful predators moving in sync taking down their prey together like the Pride they were. I envied them for that.

  Quinn took the kill, but let my father have first dibs at the now dead mountain lion; as I watched a sense of longing came over me making my breathing hitch. I missed being a part of a family, I hadn’t realized how much until I had seen my father and Quinn. Do many things had changed in such a short time, I knew I had to confront my past and let them know I was a lost cause and they should just move on, because something inside myself told me they wouldn’t be too happy to hear I had been killing other shifters along with being romantically involved with vampires.

  Strengthening my resolve I slowly made my descent down until I could jump from the tree to the ground, landing without making a sound behind the two.

  They didn’t hear me at all but I could hear their thoughts, my dad was pissed I was acting so childish where Quinn just wanted to understand what had happened to me. They both still loved me dearly and pretty much had thought I was dead, they weren’t too far off since I had been dead inside for a long while.

  Feeling the shame once again, I decided to make my way home, they would eventually end up there anyway and I needed some time to reorganize my thoughts before I told them about what happened to me.

  Once I made my way back to my house, I shifted back to human before I got the key I had left under the matt and let myself in. After putting on some jeans and a long t-shirt I waited in my kitchen while the coffee brewed.

  I had unlocked all the doors in the house so that when they made their way back there would be no more barriers. Mike had been right, I had been acting like a child, afraid of confronting that of which scared me.

  I waited and waited and still they didn’t come, when my eyes felt heavy from lack of sleep I went into my room to take a nap, they would eventually show up and tomorrow morning sounded better than tonight anyways.

  The chirping of birds outside my window woke me the next morning, stretching out my limbs I listened, I didn’t hear anything. No one moved in my house and as far as I could tell no one was walking around outside. Had they left while I slept?

  There trucks were still here but they weren’t in them. Nothing had been broken in to. I checked the back door which was still unlocked, looking out the window though I saw the two sleeping naked in my back yard. They hadn’t even tried to open the door figuring I had locked the house up tight. I went into my extra bed room, grabbing two large blankets to cover them with. I opened the back door very quietly and laid each blanket on then, my dad woke up while I was in the process of covering him. He grabbed my arm like I would try and get away, I probably would have if I hadn’t come to a conclusion last night.

  “Come on inside” I said helping him to his feet as he wrapped the blanket around his cold body. I knew Quinn had been awake since I stepped outside but he was playing possum, I looked down at him sadly as I nodded my head toward the house. They were both still very tired, not up for talking just yet so I showed them to my guest rooms. They both shook their heads figuring I was going to make a run for it the second they fell back asleep.

  “I will be here when you wake up, then we will talk” I said reassuringly. My dad grunted still not believing it but decided to leave it to fate, he knew where I lived now so it really didn’t matter if I fled or not. Quinn didn’t say anything, he was thinking of nothing but “row, row your boat”, that was fine with me at the moment they needed their sleep.

  I made pancakes, eggs, bacon, sausage, biscuits and gravy for breakfast; I was starving since I hadn’t eaten dinner or the mountain lion last night plus I now had two more mouths to feed. As I was finishing up the eggs they both came into the kitchen the blankets still wrapped around them. Quinn went outside to gather their clothing as I set out plates and placed them on the table. After they were both dressed they sat down with me and began staring.

  “Where have you been?” my dad said looking at the table.

  “I don’t think we should have this conversation on empty stomachs, please eat” I said calmly before I stuffed my mouth. The only thing you could hear for the next thirty minutes was chewing, and an occasionally belly growl.

  After cleaning off out plates we made our way into my living room, Quinn took the reclining chair while Mike took the opposite end of the couch where I sat. “Where have you been?” my dad asked again in a calm voice. This time he was looking at me.

  “I was in California up until eight months ago” I responded filling like a lead weight had taken up residence in my belly.

  “We thought you were dead” Quinn growled leaning back in his chair as he crossed his arms

  “I’m not as you can see” I responded not sure how to start this conversation.

  “When was the last time you saw Jason”? My dad asked as he folding his hands in his lap. I didn’t know how to answer him. I scanned his thoughts and found out that Jason was home safely with his wife and kid. I let out a sigh of relief thanking whoever the hell was watching for his safe return.

  “Jason said you were alive, but we didn’t believe him” Quinn said.

  “And why would Jason lie?” I asked glaring, Quinn’s attitude was getting on my nerves.

  “He said some pretty bad things about you and what you were doing with the vampire’s, is that all true as well?” My dad asked. My heart broke a little when I nodded my head not saying out loud what a monster I had become. Silence descended for a few minutes as we all soaked in the reality of the situation. I thought about what Andre had said the last time I had seen him and looked at Mike who was damn near tears. I needed to know if he was my real father or if Andre was just messing with me to get me to stay, it had been bugging me since I had left.

  “Are you my real father Mike?” I could hear the slight tremor in my voice, I hoped with all I was that he answered me truthfully. I watched as his face fell then closed off. I couldn’t take it anymore I had to know, bringing down my shields completely I pushed passed him reciting a verse from the bible until I found
what I was looking for.

  A small baby sat in a wicker basket not even a month old. Bluish green eyes staring at him, a small note had been attached to the front of the basket that read. “Keep your daughter safe from harm until her first shift, she will be special I promise you my love”. I stood on shaky legs as the enormity of the situation hit me, all this time he had known my mother hadn’t died while giving birth to me, but was he my real father?

  “Why didn’t you tell me she was a vampire?” I asked as tears threatened to overflow down my face. Mike’s face paled a bit, he had known the letter had come from my mother but he thought she had just left, he didn’t know she was a vampire and I had just confirmed his worst fears. His thoughts shifted more to when he meet her, she was already a month pregnant but he didn’t care, he loved her from the first moment he had set eyes on her. Bile rose in my throat, it was true, Mike wasn’t my father but he took the responsibility of raising me because he thought my mother would eventually come home. I watched him through watery eyes, knowing I was going to have to tell him the tale Andre had told me, so he would get closer, if it were true or not I didn’t know but at this moment I owed him some type of explanation. I sat back down and took his hands in mine, locking my shields tight, I had enough emotions going on and didn’t need to hear his as well.

  “I have met the one who changed Selene, I didn’t believe him at first but now that I have read your thoughts I’m sure he was telling me truth” I took a deep breath before I finished “He also told me I am the daughter of the first shifter whose name is Malcolm, Is that true as well?” I asked looking at them waiting for their responses.

  Quinn looked puzzled as hell, where my dad looked like he was about to vomit, I refused to listen in on his thoughts anymore; I needed to hear the truth from him. Mike stood up and began pacing, I gave him the time he needed not pressing him, though I was on my edge of my seat waiting for the inevitable. He stopped at the window, looking out with his back turned to me as he began speaking

  “I loved your mother Lana with everything that I was, I knew she was pregnant but she refused to talk about your father so I honestly have no idea who he is. I came home to an empty house one night after working late, I figured she went to the store for something so I went to bed” He took a shaky breath before he continued “She never came back, but a baby arrived at my front door one month later with a note from your mother to keep you safe. I was so happy to know she was alive that I took you and began raising you. Months past and I never heard from her, Bill even looked through the supernatural circuits but came with with nothing, not a trace; she just vanished. It never crossed my mind that she might have been turned into a vampire.” The hurt in his voice had me standing to walk over to him and placing my hand on his back for comfort. We stood like that for a few moments, mourning the loss of my mother. With a shaky breath Mike turned causing me to drop my arm but not move away.

  “It only took you four years to find out more information about Selene than I have been able to gather in twenty-two. Tell me where you have been Lana, please” The please had me turning my head in shame, neither him nor Quinn were going to like my answer so I gestured for him to sit down; it was my turn to begin pacing.

  “After I was taken from Uncle Alan’s I became the pet of two very powerful vampires’” They both turned pale white causing me to move quicker with my story, “They took good care of me over the years, fiercely protective, to be honest when I received word about my release I didn’t know what to do, I had never been on my own, I was torn between wanting to stay and wanting to begin my own life. But in the end I had little choice so I found this area, bought the house and began working, though I had no idea it was for you two” I didn’t feel the need to mention names or tell them about the arena at that moment. Quinn rubbed the back of his neck while Mike glared at me; they both knew I was leaving a lot of my story out. Too, bad; it was my burden to bare.

  “How long have you been released?” Quinn asked leaning back in his chair.

  “Almost nine months” He shot of from his chair coming to stand directly in front of me.

  “And all this time you didn’t think to let us know you were alive?” he was using his Pride Master voice trying to get me to submit, I could feel it thought it was weak, I ignored it mostly because I could, but also to show him I was no longer one of his Pride members.

  “I had to make a life for myself Quinn, I have been with vampires for years and now suddenly I am thrown into a world I had never experience before yet again. Plus I wasn’t sure how to contact you guys, find you in a phone book, call and say hey, just to let you know I’m alive. Oh an yeah I’ve been with vampires, you know your worst enemy for the past three years, but everything is cool, just thought you should know. You wouldn’t have believed me and Mike would have thought it was a prank phone call and probably would have hung up on me after a few choice words” Mike raised his eye brow but didn’t comment, Quinn just looked down at me in a fierce stare.

  “You could have come back” Quinn whispered trying hard to hold his anger in.

  I laughed out right “And you all would have thought at any moment there would be vampires knocking on the door demanding me back, I would have been sent into isolation for everyone’s safety even though there were no threats Quinn. So instead I did it on my own”

  Quinn was shaking with rage now as he stepped closer to me, a sneer on his face as he looked me up and down as if I were a rotten piece of meat.

  “Were you their blood slave Lana, did you enjoy it so much that you never thought of your family or those that cared for you? Yes you’ve changed alright but I never thought I would put whore on the list of things you are” A low growl came from deep in my chest, I was seconds away from slapping him when Mike jumped up from the couch to stand in between the two of us.

  “Okay, okay that’s enough. Quinn we have no idea what trials Lana had been through, there is no need to make accusations that most likely are not true” Mike was pushing Quinn away from me now trying to get him to the other side of the room. I never took my eyes off him, watching him like I was indeed back in the arena waiting for the prey to make the wrong move. It didn’t take long as Quinn quietly said “At least your first time was with someone living” Mike’s eyes widened as he looked from me to Quinn and back again, mouth hanging open. I didn’t comment even though I wanted to, I remembered my time with Quinn quite well even if it only happened once, but I wouldn’t stoop down to his level. I walked past both men as I made my way into the kitchen and out the back door. I needed air. I took in a deep breath, letting the fall air wash over me as I watched the top of the trees sway from side to side. It took longer than I expected for Mike to come out and stand next to me, we stood there just soaking up nature around us. So many things had happened in such a short time, I knew deep down nothing would ever be the same between us again.

  “You’ve grown up a lot in these years past; the little girl I left three years ago would have said something back to him. I’m proud of you if you didn’t know already” Mike said as he placed his arm around my shoulders, I hadn’t had comfort contact in a long time so I tensed unable to hug him back, I didn’t deserve him being proud of me, I had killed countless shifters for sport even if at the time it was self-defense.

  Without looking up I pulled away to go back inside, I had waited nearly my whole life to hear those words and now that they were spoken I didn’t feel they had been earned. With a heavy heart that felt like a lead weight pulling me down I went back inside to stand at my kitchen sink trying as hard as I could to get the images of all those I had killed to stop tormenting me. Quinn thankfully had gone out front while Mike stayed out back, it seemed we all needed some time alone with our thoughts.

  The sound of a car pulling up into my drive way gave me something else to do, I wasn’t expecting company. Opening my front door I watched as Quinn greeted a short African-American man
. I could smell he was a shifter, a black panther if I wasn’t mistaken. Crossing my arms over my chest I glared at the two who started walking up my porch.

  “Lana, this is Nathan a friend of mine who has some questions I believe only you can answer” Quinn stated as though nothing was wrong bringing a complete stranger to my house.

  “And why would I have the answers you seek?” I asked trying to curb my rage. Nathan seemed dumb struck as he looked at me, I could smell from where I stood he was very much interested in anything I had to offer. Quinn elbowed the man breaking the trance he seemed to be in. He began fidgeting a bit trying his hardest not to look my way.

  “You know the vampires Richard and Amelia correct” My breathing froze in my lungs. I couldn’t answer him it risked too much, because if he knew about Richard and Amelia then the odds were pretty good he also knew about…

  “I have heard about you from the supernatural circuits, one that cannot be killed, but who’s beauty is like nothing the world has ever seen. You are lucky to be alive” Nathan stated calmly as he looked at me with light brown eyes. I started to growl at my unpleasant guest, Mike had now ventured outside and stood behind me as I looked down at the little man.

  “You can leave now” I said with such malice I was surprised he did nothing but smirk.

  “Then it is true, you are the Siberian” he said again looking at me like I was a star that had fallen from the heavens. With a growl of annoyance I spun on my heels passing Mike as I walked into the house. I began pulling things out of the refrigerator to start cooking; I needed something to occupy my shaky hands at the moment. All of the men walked in the kitchen as I banged around pots and pans in a desperate attempt to stay away from conversation I knew was going to happen.

  “I apologize if I am bringing up painful memories, but I am looking for my cousin Daniel who was taken about a year and a half ago by vampires” I could hear in his voice that he loved his cousin dearly; my heart shuddered in my chest, I couldn’t look at him. Placing the pot I had been holding down on the counter I leaned against my sink and took a shaky breath.