‘Well, school’s over now.’ Thank God.
‘I don’t even know why … I suppose you just irritated me.’ Her words stunned me and before I could think of a response she carried on. ‘You always just seemed so … I don’t know, up yourself.’
‘Up myself? Terrified is what I was.’ As the words left my mouth, it hit me that it wasn’t true anymore. My fear of Brittany was gone. This girl who’d bullied me all the way through high school no longer held any power over me. It was a huge revelation and all I could think was, how had I put up with it, and why?
Brittany’s cheeks turned red. ‘Anyway, I just wanted to tell you what you said about Hilary was true.’ She watched her foot push the gravel around. ‘So … we good, Amy?’
Just like that, she expected all the years of harassment to be wiped away—puddles of apple juice under my seat so she could scream out I’d wet my pants, earth worms squashed in the toes of my trainers, milk accidently spilled in my hair. Each day a new surprise.
She looked up. Her eyes were round and hopeful, a shimmer of sweat across her forehead. I had two choices: maintain the anger or let it go. I thought of Hilary and the horror she’d endured; how good she’d said forgiving her father had made her feel. So for my own sake, let alone Brittany’s, I took a deep breath and said, ‘Sure, but I’m not Amy anymore, my name’s Marla.’
‘Marla … that’s nice.’
Hilary had been right, forgiving did feel good. I felt like I was moving on, the pain of the past just a ghost. I smiled. ‘Thanks, Brittany.’
‘What was that about?’ Jack asked when I climbed into the car beside him.
I told him and he made a huffing noise as he started the engine. ‘Should have told her where to shove her apology.’
‘Why? I wasn’t perfect either. Geez, I remember deliberately trying to make her jealous when I was going out with Jason.’
‘It’s not like she didn’t deserve it.’
‘Who knows what was going on in her world. Anyway, provoking her only made things worse.’ I adjusted the seatbelt over my shoulder. ‘You can’t fight hate with hate, Jack.’
His voice was soft. ‘You sound like Hilary.’
A strange feeling fell over me—shivery and peaceful. As though our friend were right there in the car with us, like I could turn around and see her. I stayed facing forward, not wanting to break the illusion.
Chapter Three
The night of Hilary’s funeral, just like every other since I’d been back, Dad poked his head around the door before taking himself off to bed. I shifted over, and he sat beside me. I hadn’t noticed before, but he looked old and tired, and a creeping feeling started in my heart. ‘I’m proud of you,’ he said softly, so as not to wake Ashleigh. ‘You’ve grown into an insightful young woman.’
It was strange to hear him call me a woman. But nice, and warmth swelled in my chest, almost, but not quite pushing my anxiety aside.
He brushed a strand of hair from my face. ‘All these years I’ve watched you struggle, the close calls, the back and forth to hospital, and … it should never have been. Today I realised the truth of you and there’s no going back. It makes me feel guilty for ever wanting to keep you here.’
I blinked to stop the prickle in my eyes. ‘I wouldn’t change a single thing.’
‘I know, but still … I’m an ordinary man, a little creaky round the joints. Just a council draftsman. But you, love, are royalty.’
‘Dad.’ I moved close. He lay a hand on my shoulder and carried on. ‘The problem is I think you believe it’s about Leif— who he was born to be. But it’s not, it’s about you. It’s the truth inside you … That you’re also my daughter makes me feel privileged.’
I looked up. His eyes sparkled in the little bit of light coming into my room. ‘I want you to know who you are, Amy-Marla. When you go back to Faera, I want you to be who you were born to be. There’s nothing to stop you now.’
I held his eyes with mine. ‘But … how do I do that?’
He bent and kissed my hair. ‘Love, it’s as easy as stepping into life instead of stepping away.’
After he left, Dad’s words swam in my mind. He wanted me to involve myself in life instead of withdrawing from it like I’d always done on Earth. He wanted me to be brave enough to stop holding back. I didn’t need Leif or anyone else for that. And hadn’t I told Jack that’s exactly what I wanted—to be enough all on my own?
I lay awake imagining it. A new me—confident and capable. The kind of girl who knew what she wanted and how to go out and get it. Could I be that girl? That woman? I didn’t know. I’d spent my whole life being looked after—by my family, my doctors, Jack … Hilary.
‘Must feel good to be so special.’
My sister’s quiet words pulled me from myself abruptly. She’d been listening to my conversation with Dad. ‘We thought you were asleep.’
‘Well I wasn’t.’
‘You should have said.’
‘Why? So Dad could lie and say how proud he is of me too?’ Resentment rose from her like steam from asphalt on a scorching day.
‘He is proud of you.’
‘What for? I’m just a dropout who washes hair for a living. Not royalty like you.’
‘It won’t always be like that. When you start your apprenticeship, things will be better.’
She held up a hand, pale fingers wriggling in the starlight. ‘I’m getting dermatitis. There are these itchy, scaly bits between my fingers. Did you notice?’ Her hand dropped back down with a thud. ‘We’ve traded places.’
The bitterness in her voice tore at my chest. ‘Why don’t you go back to school, Ash? You’re so clever. You could do anything you want.’
‘What I want is to go back to Faera.’
I couldn’t even think about that. Not after Hilary. ‘It’s too dangerous.’
‘Life’s dangerous … cars are dangerous.’
I lay still, the night heavy around me, my tongue burning to tell her the truth. I heard the creak of the bed and rustle of covers as she changed position. She faced me in the dark. ‘It makes me sick to think if Hilary had stayed in Faera, she’d still be alive.’
Her eyes glimmered and a lump clogged up my throat. If Hilary hadn’t gone to Faera, she’d be alive. And it had been my idea. If I hadn’t suggested it when her godparents moved interstate, my best friend would still be alive. The truth of it clung to me; a nightmare from which I couldn’t awake. Despite the warm night, I started to shiver.
Ashleigh persisted. ‘How can you even say Faera’s too dangerous after what happened right here?’
It was too much. Like a river bursting through a dam the truth spilled out. ‘It wasn’t a car accident and it didn’t happen here. Shadow Fae attacked the castle after Lysander’s allegiance ceremony. There were five Shadow Kings. Leif and his father killed four of them.’ I took a deep breath. ‘But before that, the fifth killed Hilary, and nearly Leif too.’ A rush of grief swelled in my chest and I almost choked on my next words. ‘I’m not even sure he’ll be okay.’
Eventually Ashleigh spoke. ‘That’s why he wasn’t at the funeral.’
‘Yeah.’ My voice was just a whisper in the stillness of the night.
‘Don’t worry, he’ll be fine.’
I wondered how she could sound so sure. ‘He’s in a coma.’ I wiped my eyes with my fingers.
Ashleigh raised herself up on an elbow. ‘How do you know there were only five?’
‘Because I heard it from one of them.’
Her eyes were round like saucers. ‘What? How?’
I hesitated, but she pushed the point and I gave in, telling her of my time in Dark Faera—how after discovering our birth mother’s soul had been lost to Rual, the Dark King, Lysander and I had gone to find her, almost losing our own souls in the process. I explained that while we were there, we met the Shadow King, Daigen, and learned he had four brothers—all conceived within a few months of each other.
‘So, you only have this
Daigen’s word there were five?’
‘Yes, but he only spoke in front of me and Lysander because he didn’t know who we were, and only after Rual convinced him that neither of us would be returning to Faera.’
‘I have to go back.’ Her words were the last I expected and the insistence in them was terrifying.
‘You can’t. I only told you what happened so you’d know why.’
‘But the Shadow Kings are dead. It would be perfectly safe. Besides, I’d be careful.’
‘You were sneaking out at night the last time you were there. That’s not being careful.’
‘I was just messing with you when I told you that.’
I gave her a look I knew she couldn’t see. ‘No you weren’t, you were meeting up with Rowan.’
‘Claudette tell you that?’
I admitted she had, and expected Ashleigh to go on a rant about Claudette’s big mouth, but she only said, ‘So, now you know about me and Rowan, you should understand why I want to go back.’
‘There’s no future for you with him, Ash … He’ll only leave you for his betrothed.’ It was harsh but true.
But there wasn’t a speck of concern in her voice when she said, ‘Yeah, but not yet. And if I don’t care then why should you?’
‘I don’t want you to get hurt. I know you only started this thing with him to get at Lysander.’
‘You don’t know anything. The thing with Rowan’s got nothing to do with your stupid brother.’ Ashleigh’s voice was cold and tight. ‘I hope he and Claudette are happy together.’
‘Lysander said—’
‘Don’t talk to me about them,’ Ashleigh said before I could get another word out.
I had been about to tell her that Lysander still hadn’t heard the name of his betrothed, that my twin and Claudette were close because they’d been friends on Earth years before either had discovered they were Fae. Of course, Claudette loved to hint there was more to the relationship, but I wasn’t about to mention that to Ashleigh.
‘Fine, but do you really think after what happened to Hilary, I’d be okay with you going to Faera?’ I swallowed. ‘She wouldn’t have even been there if it weren’t for me.’
Ashleigh’s voice was low and steady. ‘Not everything’s about you. I get how you think it is and everything, but it’s really not.’
‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘Well, you’ve always been at the centre of everything, haven’t you? I can still hear Mum. “Sorry Ash, we have to skip the Gold Coast, Amy’s sick again. Ashleigh, take that perfume outside immediately, do you want to put your sister in hospital? Ash, go get me that big bag of cotton wool, Amy needs to be wrapped up again.”’
‘Must have been annoying.’
‘It was all I knew.’ I could hear the shrug in her voice. ‘But like I said, not everything’s about you … What happened with Hilary wasn’t your fault.’ More quietly. ‘Maybe it was just her time.’
I couldn’t speak with the pressure building—in my throat, behind my nose, my eyes.
Ashleigh gave a sigh. ‘Look, don’t even worry about it. I promised Mum and Dad I’d give this hairdressing thing a go anyway—at least finish the stupid course. I can’t go through my whole life being a quitter.’
I was shocked at how easily she’d relented. It was not like Ashleigh at all and I was sure I hadn’t heard the end of it. I told her a quitter was the last thing she was, but my sister didn’t respond, she only rolled over and as far as I knew went to sleep.
I was back at the castle and Leif was standing at my bedroom door. He looked pale and ghostly, as though he were wrapped in moonbeams, and the light from his wings shivered silver-gold against the dark. Come, Marla—words whispered to my mind. And then I was outside my room and he was at the end of the hall, his hand stretched to me.
I opened my wings and flew after him. But he was gone, his voice a faraway whisper. I followed the sound—out of the castle, across the lake and into the forest, the white of his wings a fading flicker deep among the trees. It didn’t matter, I knew where he was going. I found him at the butterfly pool, lying on the sand, propped up on his elbows. Even from where I stood across the bank I could see starlight reflected in his eyes. His lips curved into a smile. Will you make me wait all my life, Marla?
Longing rippled through me. Never, Leif. I made to fly to him. But something was tugging at my arms and legs, nails scraping at my flesh and an odour like dry dirt was strong in the air. Across the water, an army of Shadow Kings came from the trees, their enormous wings glistening with stolen blood. I screamed at Leif to get away, but he wouldn’t move. And as I felt myself dragged back, the creatures attacked. They tore at his limbs, thrust him to the ground—a sickening snap as his wings were ripped from him. Shrieking and laughing, the Shadow Kings danced around my betrothed’s prone body, holding Leif’s wings above their heads like trophies, sun-filled blood running slick and dark down their arms. Blood poured from Leif’s back, flowing down the bank and into the pool, staining the water a thick and boiling red.
I woke in a fever of terror and sweat. Heart pounding, I lay staring at the ceiling, a single thought whirling in my head—I had to see Leif. I would leave the moment the sun rose.
Chapter Four
Immediately upon arriving in Faera, I went to the healing room. I stopped at the door when Haigen shot to her feet. She flicked glossy dark hair behind her shoulder and thrust her hands on her hips. ‘What do you want?’ she demanded.
I strained to see around her, but she moved to block my view. ‘I want to see Leif.’
Her almond eyes narrowed to slits. ‘To torment him some more?’
‘How?’ I said, twin flashes of heat in my cheeks. ‘He doesn’t even know I’m here.’
She pointed. ‘Go then, for you have nothing to gain here. And if Leif were awake he would tell you so himself.’
My frown deepened as she began rattling off reasons for me to leave—it was she, Haigen, who was Princess-to-be, it was her place to be with Leif, not mine. And why did I want to be here anyway? I was nothing to him now.
More and more I was sure Haigen was the one who’d dripped the dark magic into my eyes—magic that caused me to see her and Leif together when they weren’t. Magic that had caused me to break up with Leif in the first place. Even though I knew it wasn’t real, I couldn’t escape the memory of Leif’s hands on her, his mouth on hers. How I wished I could accuse her. But every time I tried to mention anything relating to the dark magic, my head whirled and nausea would roll up my throat. My inability to speak of it was one of the worst parts of the spell inflicted on me.
I left Haigen alone. I’d come back after nightfall. She would be home with her family by then. Besides, there was the King’s meeting to prepare for.
I’d never seen the assembly room so full. There had to be two hundred faeries or more, their chatter filling the room like swarming bees. I leaned close to Jack. ‘Do you know who all these faeries are?’
‘No, but I can tell you the leader of the High Guard from every region of Telophy is here.’
Of course. Lined up on either side of the table were the King’s representatives from all over the kingdom.
Movement at the door signalled the arrival of King Telophy. Heads turned as he strode into the room. He wore plain clothing and the most basic of crowns, but even if he’d been draped in velvet and dripping with jewels, he couldn’t have looked more majestic.
Every voice fell silent.
He held his arms wide as he welcomed us before indicating for everyone to sit with a sweep of his hand. A shuffle and scrape of chairs, then after King Telophy himself was seated, he began speaking of that terrible night. The dead had all been sung home in ceremonies across the kingdom, and now, it was those left behind he was concerned for. ‘Not since before my arrival has this kingdom seen loss on such a scale,’ he said. ‘And the consequences are multiplying, spreading from forest to forest, river to river. Increasing numbers of my subjects are
fading as the loved ones of those slain by the Shadow Fae give in to death. As leaders in your regions, I have called you here to seek your thoughts on how this tragedy might be arrested.’
The suggestions came quickly. Healers told of uplifting herbs and plants. Soul guides declared the problem was of the mind not the body, that the fading needed to feel connected to those who’d passed without wishing to join them. Spiritual leaders disagreed, explaining the answer wasn’t in focusing on self at all, but rather on the Great Spirit. And scouts and guards spoke of the need for the Fae who’d lost loved ones to feel safe. ‘Perhaps a greater focus on prevention,’ Nian offered, looking pointedly at the King.
‘Are you suggesting the battle might have been prevented?’ King Telophy asked, a touch of danger in his voice. ‘No one could have predicted the actions of the Shadow Kings, nor their number.’
‘How could they?’ Nian replied brazenly. ‘But under the circumstances, might it not be a good idea to focus on self-defence?’
King Telophy considered Nian with a raised eyebrow. All around the table faeries caught each other’s eyes. I knew what they were thinking: what circumstances? ‘What the Leader of the Most High alludes to,’ King Telophy told his gathered leaders, ‘is my suspicion that the Shadow Fae may have become unified after time spent under the Shadow Kings.’
There was an eruption of muttering which King Telophy silenced with a raised hand. ‘At this stage, it is speculation only. Our focus must remain on the fading.’ He looked back to Nian. ‘However, caution is not a bad thing. Tell us, what is in your mind?’
As Nian spoke, everything faded into the background as my head filled with a picture: a field overflowing with faeries, and all of them toppling like dominoes. I had to help—or at least try. But how? What could I do? What would Hilary do?
And then a breath of air danced across my skin, a whisper, cool as a spring breeze. I shivered and rubbed at my arms. I felt invaded, but in the most peaceful way. And then I heard a small voice deep inside my mind. I would be me. And you can be you.
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