Managed Hearts

by MacMillan, Jerica

  And now here they were again, with him shirtless and an obvious bulge behind his zipper. It pressed into her when he kissed her. She knew what he wanted, even though he’d said okay when she told him they wouldn’t be having sex tonight.

  But after kissing him and being with him like this, she was considering changing her mind.

  He pressed his hand over hers, stilling her fingers on his arm, and she looked up into his face. Leaning forward, he pressed her back into the couch again, lining their bodies up, rocking the hard ridge of his cock against her center as though their clothes weren’t a barrier. He slid his hands under her ass, rucking her skirt up around her waist, his fingers hooking in the waistband of her panties.

  A scrape and a click followed by a giggle sounded from Hannah’s right. She froze, pushing at Matt’s shoulders until he stopped too. The front door opened and two people spilled in along with a gust of cold air, laughing and talking and clearly drunk.

  “Oh my God!” That was the girl, her hand covering her mouth, her dark curls bouncing around her shocked face.

  “Dude! You didn’t tell us you were gonna score.” The guy’s eyes were open wide, his arm around the girl, and she turned and smacked him on the chest.

  Hannah’s face grew warm, and she tried pulling her straps up and pushing her skirt down at the same time. Matt got off her, facing the two intruders who still stood by the open door. Sitting up, she took cover behind his body as much as possible while straightening her clothes.

  Oh God. This was beyond embarrassing. And just further proof that this was a terrible idea.

  Matt ran a hand over his hair and face, muttering to himself, but she couldn’t make out his words. When she had straightened her dress, she grabbed his sweatshirt from the coffee table, clutching it to her chest, certain she looked ridiculous, but feeling the need for another layer between her and these strangers.

  Matt glanced back at her and extended a hand to help her stand up. “Hannah, these are my roommates, Chris and Megan. Guys, this is Hannah.” He tilted his head toward her. “I didn’t expect you back so soon.”

  Chris opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, Megan burst out, “Oh my God, your skin is so beautiful!” She rushed forward, grabbing Hannah’s hand, examining her arm and any spare inch of exposed skin. “Seriously, most people don’t have this creamy skin with the peachy undertones without tons of freckles.” Megan raised pleading brown eyes to Hannah’s face. “You have to model for me. Please say yes.”

  Hannah turned her confused gaze on Matt, looking between him and the short brunette still clutching her hand and pleading with her. Chris just stood by the door, which he’d closed, an amused expression on his face.

  Matt shook his head. “Megan, you’re scaring her. Back off.” He gently detached Megan’s hands from Hannah, putting a little space between them, and turned to Hannah. “I told you Megan’s a painter. She’s looking for a bunch of models for a project she’s working on that might turn into a show in a few months.”

  Megan smacked his arm, the sound of skin hitting skin cracking in the room. “It will be a show. No might or maybe about it.”

  Shrugging, Matt grinned at Hannah. “Okay, it will be a show. She’s roped Chris and I and a few of the other guys into modeling for her as well. It’s really not that bad.” He stepped closer, into her space, his hands on her waist pulling her against him. “We could hang out more if you did.”

  Once again, the effect of Matt’s presence and his blue eyes gazing into hers, willing her to agree, had her nodding her head. “Okay. As long as I still have time for school and work and everything.”

  “Of course!” Megan rushed to reassure her. “We’ll work around your schedule. Weekends and evenings work best for me anyway. It’ll only be a few sittings, probably. It shouldn’t be more than a few hours altogether.”

  Hannah nodded, her eyes never leaving Matt’s. He smiled, his annoyance with his roommates seemingly forgotten. She’d just agreed to come to his house at least two or three more times, after all. Meaning she’d see him again outside of work. If he and Chris were also modeling, would she be posing with one or both of them? That might be interesting.

  Megan’s hands thrust between Hannah and Matt, holding a pen and pad of Post-Its. “Here. Write down your number so we can work out the schedule. I’ll need to see my roster …” Hannah took the pen and Post-Its, scribbling down her number while Megan muttered to herself about schedules and models and skin tones. Hannah wasn’t really listening.

  Craning his head around, Matt pulled out his phone as she jotted down her number. “Mind if I save that?”

  She looked up at him, a smile on her face, warmth spreading through her again that he wanted her number, any remaining resistance forgotten for now. Maybe they’d see each other beyond when they were modeling for Megan. “Go ahead.”

  Matt smiled back and typed her number into his phone before pocketing it. Hannah tried to give the paper and pen back to Megan, but Megan was distracted, her hands in her hair, still muttering to herself, so she set them down on the coffee table. A chuckling Chris took Megan by the shoulders and started to guide her to their bedroom door.

  Megan seemed to become aware of her surroundings again, and her head snapped up. She turned back to Hannah and Matt. “It was so nice to meet you! I’ll be in touch.” And with that she led Chris by the hand into their room, with him still chuckling the whole way.

  Goosebumps rose on her skin again when Matt leaned in close, his breath whispering over her skin. “We should relocate. Unless you want to hear Megan and Chris going at it.”

  Hannah’s eyes widened, and a mischievous grin pulled at Matt’s lips. “Uh, no thanks.”

  He chuckled again. “My room?” He tilted his head in that direction.

  She followed his gaze, then glanced back at the front door. The events of the night and all the emotions hit her at once, dragging at her, making her tired. The spell of Matt and his body had broken the minute the door opened, and she didn’t know if it could be recovered right now. Or if she should even try.

  Shaking her head, she took a half step toward the door. “I think I should go home. I’m really tired, and I have stuff to do tomorrow. I can call a cab if you don’t want to go back out.”

  Matt’s hand on her cheek turned her face to his, and he placed a kiss on her lips, a sigh of disappointment soft on her face. “No, I’ll take you home. Just let me grab my shirt and a jacket and I’ll be ready to go.”

  Moments later they walked back to the still-warm car parked in the driveway. Matt didn’t say much the whole way home, though he did give her one more kiss before she got out of the car.

  Exhaustion pulled at Hannah as she made her way into her apartment and got ready for bed. She had to be up early to help get signatures for the petition to get the university to expand its recycling program. She never liked bullying people into signing something, and Saturdays were the worst day to be on campus trying to do that, but she’d been guilted into helping, so she’d be there. Distracted by thoughts of tomorrow and her need for sleep, she pushed her evening with Matt out of her mind, resolving to think more about it and what exactly she’d gotten herself into tomorrow.

  Chapter Eight

  Matt returned to a dark living room and silence. At least taking Hannah home meant he missed the soundtrack to his own private porno for once. Back in his room, he stripped down and climbed into bed. He thought about taking a shower, but decided not to, not wanting to wash away the feel of her from his body.

  He’d let her wear his sweatshirt for the trip to her apartment, so she wouldn’t get too cold again. She’d offered to take it off, but he’d insisted she keep it, that she could give it back to him later. He’d take whatever excuse he could get to see her again. Convincing her to pose for Megan had provided a great opportunity that he’d exploited, but he wasn’t about to rely on only one thing.

  She was hesitant around him when he wasn’t touching her. Thoughtful
and reluctant to engage. It drove him nuts, especially since the Hannah he’d known had been open, easily and quickly revealing her thoughts and feelings to him, her face lighting up at the sight of him, not closing down, unsure what to do in his presence like she was now.

  Dammit, he was determined to get that back again. Draw her out of her self-imposed shell and demolish the distance that had grown between them. He’d been making great progress on that goal when Megan and Chris had stumbled in and interrupted them. There’d been no recovering from that.

  Hannah had been embarrassed, and he’d known she would turn him down when he suggested they move to his room. Hell, she’d come right out and told him she wouldn’t have sex with him. He shouldn’t have been surprised, but he’d been disappointed all the same. God, the feel of her, the taste of her, was better than he remembered. And having that taste again would drive him nuts until he could devour her like he wanted, as much as he wanted, whenever he wanted.

  “Fuck,” he muttered to himself, annoyed that his cock responded again to the feel of her under him tonight mixing with the memories from before that kept resurfacing. Since she’d shown up on Monday, he’d jerked off to those memories every damn night. And apparently tonight wouldn’t be any different.

  His hand closed around the base of his cock, and he decided he’d just get it over with, quick and dirty, for some basic relief. Just as that warm tingling started, and his balls drew up tight on the verge of unloading, someone pounded on his bedroom door. Not someone. Chris. Megan didn’t knock like that.

  “Fuck!” He almost yelled it this time. Chris had the worst fucking timing in the world tonight. He grabbed the first thing he found off his floor and yanked on a pair of boxers, wrenching the door open, glaring at his asshole roommate. “What do you want, Chris?”

  Chris’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, and his hands came up, palm out. “Sorry, man.” His eyes darted around the room behind Matt before settling on his face again. “You took her home, right? I didn’t think I’d be interrupting anything.”

  Letting out a breath, Matt forced himself to calm down. It wasn’t like Chris interrupted him on purpose. Crossing his arms, Matt leaned against the doorjamb. “Yeah, I took her home. It’s late. Did you need something?”

  Chris took in his face and shrugged. “I just wanted to say sorry, dude. You didn’t say you were bringing a chick home. If you had, I would’ve let you know we were on our way or something. Tell me next time. You know I’m not down with cockblocking friends.”

  Matt nodded. “Yeah, sure. Okay.”

  “Seriously, dude. If you’re going to bring a chick home, just give us a heads up. We’ll stay out of your way. Megan doesn’t mind, as long as she’s not going to walk in on you doing the nasty in the living room.”

  Matt laughed. “Doing the nasty? And seriously? I’ve walked in on you guys more times than I can count. And don’t even get me started on the shit I’ve had to listen to.”

  Looking relieved that Matt didn’t seem so pissed anymore, Chris grinned. “Yeah, that’s Megan’s phrase, not mine. And I’ve been telling you to get earplugs or something for a long-ass time. Our noise level isn’t gonna change. Or you can start competing. Whichever.”

  “Dude, that’s disgusting. I’m not going to bring some chick home just to see who can be louder.”

  Now Chris laughed. “That’s the first girl you’ve brought to the house since you dumped your old tutor—what’s her name—last year. Don’t be shy just because Megan’s here now.”

  Matt rolled his eyes. “You know I’m not a slut like you, dude. If I want to bring someone home, I will. I did tonight, after all.”

  Chris gasped. “I’m not a slut!”

  Laughing, Matt shook his head. “You were. I guess I can thank Megan that it’s just her now and not a string of randos wandering in and out like we used to get. At least I keep my one-nighters away from home.”

  “Yeah, you’re a true gentleman. Whatever. I just wanted to make sure there were no hard feelings.”

  Matt suppressed a snicker, glad that he’d kept his lower body behind the door. There had definitely been some hard feelings, but not like what Chris meant. “Nah, man. We’re fine.”

  “Cool. Night.” Chris turned and wandered back to his own room, leaving Matt on his own again. He ditched the boxers, still half-hard, but not sure he felt like doing anything about it. He was tired of jerking off to memories of Hannah instead of getting the real thing. He’d figure out a way to get her in his bed again. And God, he hoped it would be soon.

  Hannah sat in her car in the parking lot of Eco Utilities locking and unlocking her phone, debating with herself. Matt had texted her on Saturday, asking if she wanted to get together and hang out, but she’d been in the middle of dealing with that stupid petition, frustrated with the other people working, and most of all that her ex had been there with her. He still seemed like he wanted to get back together, and she had no interest in that at all. By the end of the day, she’d been tired and annoyed and hadn’t responded to Matt’s text.

  Elena had cornered her and tried to force her to talk about what had happened with Matt. She’d given her the barest details, but hadn’t wanted to talk about it. Elena had made a face at her, but let it go. For now. Hannah knew her best friend better than to expect that Elena wouldn’t force her to talk about every minute detail so she could analyze it, as well as every thought and feeling Hannah had about the experience both during and after.

  Since Hannah didn’t know what to think or feel about it, it made it hard to know what to tell Elena. Now it was Monday again, time for her internship, where she may or may not end up face to face with Matt. She’d brought his sweatshirt with her with the intention of giving it back to him. Glancing around the parking lot, she hoped to magically know which vehicle was his. She knew he drove a green pickup, but there were three that she could see right now.

  “It’s probably locked anyway,” she muttered to herself as she got out of the car and locked it. If she didn’t run into him this afternoon, she’d text him at the end of the day to let him know she had his sweatshirt.

  The next few hours passed in a frenzy. The marketing team was preparing to roll out a new campaign, so they were frantically putting last minute changes and revisions in place after gathering the data from their test group. Hannah spent a lot of her time running things from one place to another, even getting snacks and coffee from the break room for the team.

  On one trip to the break room, she’d grabbed snacks for half the team, juggling two coffee cups, an apple, a banana, and three candy bars on her way out when she almost collided with someone. She looked up just in time to try to pull up short, and firm hands grasping her biceps kept her from smashing into the chest in front of her. A little coffee sloshed over the lip of one of the mugs onto the floor. “Shit!” She tried to step back but the hands on her arms held her in place. Raising her head, her gaze collided with Matt’s stormy blue eyes.

  “Hey.”

  One corner of his mouth tugged up in response to her lame greeting. “Hey.” His brows came together. “What are you doing? You’re not supposed to be doing grunt work.”

  She shook her head and tried again to step back. This time he let her, dropping his hands, but not before running them down her arms in a caress, much more intimate than a normal workplace exchange. “No, I’m not doing grunt work. Everyone’s just busy. We have a new campaign coming out this week, and I volunteered to get stuff for them.” The look on Matt’s face conveyed his doubt. “No, really. I’m learning a lot. I promise. They’re not taking advantage of me. I’ve been involved with the process as much as possible, given that they all know way more than me about everything. But I’ve gotten to look over the data from the test groups and see why they’re making the changes they’re making and even offer my opinion a few times.”

  “Okay, good. You’re sure?”

  Hannah nodded enthusiastically. “Yes. It’s great. I mean, we’ve talked about some of
this stuff in classes, but it’s cool to see how it works in a real life situation, you know? And I love even more that we’re helping people, helping the environment, not just trying to make money.”

  “Well, money is an important part of it.” The corners of Matt’s lips had tugged up again, the smile more sardonic this time than amused.

  Hannah narrowed her eyes at him. “I know that, Matt. I’m not stupid. I get how business works. But I like being involved with a business that doesn’t rape the earth and destroy everything in the name of the bottom line. I like that we’re helping other businesses be more responsible with their resources, which benefits the businesses financially as well as benefitting conservation efforts. It’s a big part of why I wanted this internship.” She gestured with one of the coffee mugs, but stopped when she almost spilled coffee again.

  Matt’s sardonic look morphed into one of respect, though he did grin at her near-spill. “Yeah. It is nice. I agree. I like that about this place too.”

  “Well, good to see you. I gotta get going.”

  With a hand on her arm, Matt stopped her before she could step around him. “Hey, I don’t know if you got my text this weekend—”

  “Right. Yeah. Sorry about not responding. I had a busy weekend.” She didn’t know where he was going with that, but she didn’t want to have it out in the hallway outside the break room where anyone could overhear or interrupt. She vaguely remembered something from her orientation about a non-fraternization rule. But she’d been a little distracted by coming face-to-face with Matt again, and hadn’t been paying close attention. “Um, I have your sweatshirt in my car to give back to you. I’ll text you before I leave so we can figure out where to meet so I can get it to you.”

  He dropped his hand, nodding once. “Right. Okay. I’ll talk to you later then.”

  Flashing him a quick smile, she scurried back to the marketing department where people were waiting for their coffee and snacks. Staying busy made the time go faster, but she kept an eye on the clock, the tingling in her belly—and lower—growing as the minutes ticked by. With the way they’d left things Friday night, she doubted he was satisfied with her half-assed explanation that she’d been too busy to return his text. The Matt she’d known had been persistent, and from what she could tell, that hadn’t changed.