Managed Hearts

by MacMillan, Jerica

  The sound of a clearing throat had her opening her eyes. Derek’s pissy face stared down at her, ruining her good mood, his twisted mouth marring his otherwise attractive face. She sighed, setting her burrito on the table. God, what had she ever seen in this guy?

  Derek glanced pointedly in Matt’s direction. “I didn’t realize we were going to have additional help today.”

  “This is Matt. He brought me lunch.”

  With a sniff, Derek crossed his arms over the black T-shirt bearing the Environmental Club’s logo that they all wore. “You know it’s unprofessional to eat at the table while we’re collecting signatures. That’s why we alternate taking lunch breaks.”

  Hannah couldn’t help rolling her eyes. “Yes, of course. We’re so slammed, I must be making a horrible impression.” She made a show of looking around at the nearly empty space. One guy sat in a chair using his laptop at the far end of the building while two others left through the doors by the cafeteria. None of them spared a glance toward their table.

  Derek leaned over the table, his chest puffed up, trying to look intimidating. “That’s not the point, Hannah, and you know it. We have rules in place for a reason. You were part of the leadership last year. You of all people should know how we do things. You look sloppy sitting here, eating, with some guy who’s obviously not one of us.”

  Before Hannah could respond, Matt stood up, holding up his hands palms out. “Hey, man. Calm down. There’s no need to act like that.”

  Derek turned on Matt, brown eyes blazing, trying to hold onto his intimidating look in the face of Matt’s taller, more muscular physique, his laid-back attitude lulling Derek into thinking that he could still try to control the situation. Derek pointed a finger in Matt’s face, and Matt straightened even more. “You stay out of this. I don’t even know who you are. I’ve never seen you before. And we don’t need you here sniffing around Hannah, messing with our project. So either sign the petition or leave.”

  Matt chuckled, his hands in his pockets. “Whoa there, little man.” Derek’s face turned red at Matt’s insult, and Hannah stifled a snort. Chelsea stood off to the side wide eyed. “I came to see Hannah. Your accusations about her professionalism are a bit ridiculous, especially with you acting like that.” He shrugged, crossing his arms and tilting his head back a little. “Of course, there still isn’t anyone else around, so criticizing your professionalism is about as stupid as you criticizing hers. So why don’t you settle down and let her eat. If you’re so worried about her eating at your table here, we’ll happily relocate somewhere else. Of course, I can’t guarantee I’ll have her back as quickly as you might like, but …” He shrugged, cracking a little grin, seeming to enjoy needling Derek.

  The patches of color on Derek’s cheeks grew redder and his nostrils flared. “Look, man, I don’t know who you think you are—”

  “Oh, my bad. Hannah didn’t mention it. I’m her boyfriend.” Matt’s tone had grown harder, and Hannah recognized the signs of him losing his patience, the stiffening of his shoulders and straightening of his spine, his laid-back attitude falling away. “And I don’t appreciate little anal retentive pissants like yourself trying to throw his weight around like it means something, especially with her.”

  Derek turned his attention to Hannah. “Really, Han? You’re going to let this juiced-up meathead talk for you? Since when are you okay with anyone speaking for you?”

  Matt’s nostrils flared, and he moved to place himself between her and Derek. Hannah took that as her cue to step in. She stood up, her amusement at their conflict fading. She laid a hand on Matt’s arm, his muscles hard under her touch. He didn’t look at her, never taking his eyes from Derek. “It’s okay, Matt. I’ve got it.” His head moved a fraction of an inch in a tight nod, but he didn’t unclench his jaw or divert his hard stare.

  Sighing, she faced Derek, done dealing with his pompous ass. Picking up her burrito, she carefully wrapped the foil around it again, not bothering to look up as she spoke. “Look, Derek. We should all just call it a day. This isn’t the best use of anyone’s time. We’ve gotten two signatures in the last three hours.”

  Derek interrupted her with a loud, frustrated sigh. “Hannah, you’ve given us your opinion more times than I care to remember. This is what we’ve decided to do. If you can’t be supportive, you can just quit. I know you wanted to anyway. I’m not even sure why you’re here.”

  Matt moved to step between them again, but Hannah stopped him with a hand on his arm once more. “Derek, don’t be ridiculous. You know I care about the club and what we do. I just think—”

  “You’re not here to think. You’re here to get signatures. And you aren’t even doing a good job of that.” He picked up a clipboard, making a show of examining the few signatures they’d managed to collect that day. “Chelsea and I were gone for almost an hour and you didn’t manage to even get one.” A large clap sounded when he tossed the clipboard back on the uncovered table. Hannah flinched, her cheeks heating, that damn blush kicking up again.

  “That’s not fair, Derek, and you know it.”

  She saw Derek open his mouth to say something else, but Matt spoke next, his hand coming around her waist. “And we’re done. Come on, Hannah. We’ll have lunch somewhere else. Let this jackass sit here all day by himself if he wants. You don’t need to take this shit from him. Let’s go.”

  He tugged her away, and she went, not wanting to deal with Derek anymore, but Derek couldn’t let them go without a parting shot. “Yes, that’s it. Run along, Hannah. Let this guy tell you what to do. Maybe he’ll have better luck than I did. God knows you never listened to me.”

  She turned to face him, but Matt urged her to keep going. “Ignore him. He’s obviously just a little man that feels the need to compensate by making himself seem more important than he is. Save your breath. Nothing you say can change anything, and it’ll only make it harder for me to walk away without punching his smug little face.”

  Hannah chuckled at his assessment. “You have no idea how right you are.”

  “Oh yeah?” A grin tugged at his lips and he raised his eyebrows.

  She nodded. “Yeah.”

  Derek still kept going. “If you leave, Hannah, you’re not welcome back.”

  That had her stopping in her tracks. Matt turned too. “Threats now? Come on. Hannah’s probably the best thing that ever happened to your club, and you’re too stupid to realize it. You know what I think, though? You’re just a jealous little asshole who wouldn’t know what to do with someone like her even if you had the chance.”

  Derek let out an ugly laugh. “Jealous? Not hardly. That bitch and I broke up weeks ago.”

  In three long strides, Matt was back in Derek’s face, bunching Derek’s shirt in his fists, lifting him onto his toes. “Watch your mouth, little man, or I might decide it’s my job to give you a lesson in manners. And much as I hate the idea of her dating someone like you, you really just proved my point.” Matt’s voice stayed low, and Hannah had to strain to hear him. “Someone like you could never keep someone like her around for long. And when I call you little man, it’s not just because you’re shorter than me. I have a feeling that you trying to act all big and tough this is because you need to compensate for something below the belt, ya know?” He paused, then nodded slowly, his teeth bared in a feral grin. “Yeah, you know exactly what I’m talking about. No wonder Hannah broke up with you. Between acting like a jackass and not knowing how to use the meager gifts God gave you, what woman wouldn’t?”

  With that, Matt shoved Derek back, then turned and grabbed Hannah by the hand. He scooped up the bag holding their burritos that they’d almost left behind, and they left the student center.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Matt practically dragged Hannah behind him, slowing when he realized her shorter legs couldn’t keep up very well. Once around the corner and under a grouping of trees, their bare branches reaching up to the leaden sky, he stopped, pulled her around in front of him, cupped h
er cheek, and planted a soft kiss on her lips. That small contact grounded him, and the tension went out of Hannah as well, her body going soft against his.

  He pulled back, looking down into her green eyes to ask the question that had him stunned. “You dated that jackass?”

  Hannah’s cheeks, already pink from the chilly air, flushed redder, and she lowered her eyelids, pulling away from his hand. “For a couple of months last semester.”

  He tilted her face back up, waiting for her to meet his eyes again. “Why?” He kept his voice low, tried to make it nonjudgmental, but he couldn’t keep his surprise out of his tone. The way that guy had acted—the way he’d treated Hannah—he couldn’t fathom why anyone would willingly spend time with that asshat, much less date him. Frustration and anger roiled in his chest. He could admit, at least to himself, that part of it was jealousy that anyone else had touched her, even though he knew she’d dated since him, and he’d dated too, so he really didn’t have the right to feel that way. But she was his, dammit. More than that, his anger stemmed from seeing Hannah treated badly. Whether she’d dated anyone else in their time apart didn’t matter. She was his now, and he wouldn’t stand for that kind of crap.

  She shook her head. “He didn’t act like that when I first got to know him. He can be funny and charming when he wants to, and we care about a lot of the same things. When he asked me out, it seemed like a good idea. But he kept trying to tell me what to do and control who I spent time with. He got worse the longer we were together, so I broke up with him after Thanksgiving.”

  At least she had enough self-respect not to put up with a guy treating her like that. That went some way toward soothing his frustration. But she let him talk down to her and bully her and dismiss her out of hand. And he knew that today hadn’t been the first time. Her complaints this morning about coming to collect signatures on the weekend again were enough to tell him that. “And now? Why do you put up with him treating you like that now?”

  She pulled away, her sigh visible in the cold air. “I actually intended to be less involved this semester. Between school, the internship, and now modeling for Megan, I don’t have that much time. Part of what you witnessed is because he’s mad at me for not being here yesterday. And I told him this morning that I’m unavailable next Saturday as well because of another modeling session. The only reason I’m still doing anything is because of Chelsea, the other girl inside, and my other friend Allison. I’m the reason they joined the club, and they begged me to stay. I couldn’t tell them no.”

  Her eyes were wide, almost pleading. Matt nodded, not pushing anymore, lacing his fingers with hers again and tugging her after him, his pace more relaxed now.

  Hannah caught up, walking beside him. “Where are we going?”

  He glanced down at her. “My place. I still want to eat, and we can hang out some more.”

  “But my car is here. And I have early classes tomorrow.”

  He smiled at the nervous way she chewed her lip. “Whenever you need to leave, I’ll bring you back for your car. But it’s only one. Surely you can spare a few more hours for me. You promised me dinner too, after all.”

  She narrowed her eyes, but agreed without further protest.

  Back at his house, he warmed up their burritos in the microwave, staying quiet while they ate at the kitchen table, trying to figure out how to bring up what happened at the student center without pissing her off again. Hannah stayed quiet too, seeming to need the time to decompress. Thank God Chris and Megan weren’t home for a while. He hoped they’d stay gone long enough for him to tell Hannah what was on his mind. Because he wasn’t okay with her being treated like shit by some asshole ex-boyfriend, he didn’t care how bad she felt for abandoning her friends. But how to say that without sounding just as controlling and douchey?

  After they finished eating, he rinsed their plates and threw away their trash before turning to Hannah again. “Movie?”

  She quirked an eyebrow, one corner of her mouth turning up. “Oh, you mean how we used to watch movies in your room?”

  He laughed. “We could do that too, but the only TV here is in the living room. And since I’m not sure when Chris and Megan are coming back, I don’t know if we want to do that. Unless you have an exhibitionist streak you’ve been hiding all this time?” He grinned, laughing again when she blushed.

  “Uh, no. No exhibitionism for me, thanks. Modeling for Megan’s hard enough, and she’s the only one looking at me.”

  He grunted at that, still not super thrilled about some other dude posing with her in flesh-toned underwear. But he tamped down that spurt of jealousy, knowing it would piss off Hannah if he let it out, and it wouldn’t change anything anyway. It was his own fault for convincing her to model, so he’d just have to deal with it. Plus, he was friends with Carter. They all were. Carter was a good guy and Matt knew he wouldn’t try anything.

  They only had one more session, and then it would be over, and his hands would be the only ones touching her naked skin. That reminder filled him with a sense of satisfaction that had a smug smile coming to his face before he could repress it.

  “C’mon.” He tugged her out of her chair by her hand. “Let’s find something to watch and just chill.”

  “God, that sounds nice.” Hannah followed behind him, plopping on the couch while he rifled through their movie choices, holding up options for her to choose one. He popped The Fast and the Furious into the DVD player, scooting her around so they could cuddle on the couch, and started the movie. He sat with his back to the arm, Hannah between his legs leaning back against his chest, his arms loosely surrounding her and his chin resting on her head. This felt so comfortable.

  He ran a hand up and down her arm. “So are you going to keep volunteering with the Environmental Club after today?”

  She let out a big sigh, shaking her head a little. “I don’t know. I mean, I enjoyed the club before, but now Derek’s in charge, and he just acts like an ass every chance he gets, especially where I’m concerned. He’s still pissed I broke up with him, even though it’s been like two months and we didn’t even date that long. So anytime I say anything he shoots it down, just because I said it. It’s not fun anymore, plus I’m crazy busy, and it’s stressing me out. Maybe I should just quit.”

  He nodded, making a noncommittal noise, not sure how to respond. He waited to see if she would say more, but she didn’t, so he decided to risk it. “I think you should quit if that’s what you want to do. Don’t let him bully you into doing things that you hate, and don’t let guilt from your friends make you stay somewhere that’s not good for you.”

  She tilted her head back to look at him, her brows furrowed. “But the things they do are important to me. I don’t feel good about quitting either.”

  “I get that. But you also have to think about what’s most important. If Derek won’t listen to anyone else and does things that don’t work or supports things that don’t matter, then you’re not really abandoning what’s important to you. And staying because of guilt isn’t a good reason either. You’ll just end up resenting your friends.” He paused for a minute, considering how far he could push. “That Derek guy isn’t going to get any better. And I hate to say it, but I doubt my involvement today helped anything in the long term. Plus, if I hear about him treating you like shit again, I’m going to have to go kick his ass, so …” He trailed off, and Hannah chuckled, shaking her head at him. “I’m serious, Hannah. Chris would help me, too. He’d have beaten that guy’s ass today. You should be glad I have more restraint.”

  She laughed harder, and he smiled, glad the tension from earlier seemed to be draining away despite their conversation. He waited for her to quiet down before he continued, dropping a kiss just above her collarbone. “Seriously, though. I’m not trying to tell you what to do. If the club’s important to you, keep going. But don’t do it out of some misplaced sense of guilt or duty. It’s not a good way to live. Trust me.”

  Twisting around to face him, Han
nah’s face bore a combination of concern and curiosity. “What do you mean by that?”

  He sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “I just mean that you should do what you want to do for you. Not everyone gets the chance to do it, and you ought to live your dreams and not someone else’s. I know we talked before about your chosen major, and you said you like the marketing stuff, and with the way you talk about the internship, I believe you. So that’s good. And I’m glad you found a place like Eco Utilities that hits all the high points for you. Let’s just say there are a lot of things I’d rather be doing than working as an HR manager.”

  She sat up straighter, her brows still furrowed. “Like what? And why aren’t you doing it?”

  Looking away, he stared at the TV, even though he had no real idea where they were in the movie. Neither of them had been paying attention. He’d seen it a billion times, though, so it didn’t matter to him. His mouth twisted in a grimace. “Surfing. I’d rather be surfing. I miss it more than anything, but I can’t go be a beach bum.” He shook his head. “Surfing doesn’t pay the bills. I know I’m not good enough to go pro, and that’s fine. I never have been. I’m okay with that. But God, I wish I could get on the waves more than a couple times a year. What I’d really love is to tour all the best surf spots in the world. But that costs tons of money, and I just got out of college. My student loans aren’t out of control thanks to my football scholarship, but I still have some. Gotta pay the bills.”

  Hannah’s brows didn’t smooth out. She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before coming up with something to say. “Couldn’t you find a job with a surf company? Or start a surf shop? Or something?”