A Traitorous Heart

by Tammy Jo Burns

  “And where do I fit in this picture you have painted? You keep using ‘I’, but what about us?”

  “What about us? I can’t keep defending myself to you. You either trust me, or you don’t, and if it is the latter then I’m not sure what to tell you.”

  “Dammit, Tessa, I’m only human!”

  “Yes, and as your best friend says, ‘You have had a bad time of it as well’. When are you going to begin confiding in me like you do with him? You know everything about me. I have revealed each piece of the puzzle that is me as it came to me until you can clearly see me. But you hide things from me. Until you have enough faith in who I am, and can begin sharing the intimate details of your life with me, I’m not sure what our future looks like.”

  “I believe we have been sharing some intimacy,” he fought back.

  “What we have done involved a sharing of mutual physical gratification. It can continue or not, but the intimacy I crave is emotional and I cannot be the only one involved.”

  “I see.”

  “I’m not certain you do,” she walked to the balcony doors and opened them. A cool, early evening breeze blew into the room, ruffling her loose curls and the deep plum skirts of her dress. The signet ring she had been spinning nervously fell to the floor of the balcony. Tessa quickly fell to her knees to recover it, not willing to lose it and all it signified. Simultaneously she heard a loud pop followed by being covered in a dusting of rock chips and mortar.

  Chapter 25

  Derek quickly joined her on the ground, turning her over and dragging her back into the room. He slammed the doors shut and ran his hands over her limbs and body. “Please God, be all right,” he prayed fervently.

  “I’m fine. What was that?” she questioned as he helped her up.

  “Someone shot at you,” he announced. She felt her legs turn to pudding and would have fallen face first on the floor if Derek had not been holding her up. The pounding in her head intensified as true terror coursed through her veins. Knowing Danny more than likely tried to kill her made it all the more intolerable. “You are not all right. I will call the doctor back.”

  “No, please, I just want to lie down.” Derek gathered her up and carried her to the bed, gently placing her on it. He then went around to the other side, climbed up and pulled her into his arms.

  “Should you send someone to find him?”

  “He will have disappeared by the time anyone could get there.”

  “The French whipped me until I bled because I did not have any information to impart. Now my childhood friend is trying to kill me because I suspect he is a traitor. Am I going to survive this?”

  “Like Daniel in the lion’s den,” Derek murmured the phrase again that had set forth her wave of memories. “Rest,” he said louder, so she could hear. “I will remain right here.” Finally after what felt like hours, he felt Tessa’s breathing deepen and even out as she relaxed against him, finally resting comfortably.

  * * *

  She awoke the next morning to tender kisses. She eagerly answered back the affection, losing herself in their physical compatibility. Tessa found herself to be the one who reluctantly pulled back, breaking the contact, remembering what must be done today.

  “Tessa,” he moaned attempting to pull her back into his arms.

  “No, I must get ready to meet with your director,” she reminded him.

  Her words had the same effect on him as a bucket of ice water. They were both still fully clothed and a mass of wrinkles. He pushed up to sit on the edge of the bed rubbing his hands over his unshaven face and into his hair, making it stand on end. Derek watched her try the locked door to the hallway and then as she turned to eye the wardrobe in front of the connecting door. Tessa crossed her arms and patted her foot impatiently.

  “Let me get that for you,” he stood and quickly moved the wardrobe revealing the splintered lock area on the door.

  “Why did you not just use the key?” she asked, exasperated.

  “I wasn’t thinking clearly and found myself to be extremely angry,” he shrugged.

  “It must be fixed,” she ordered as she went through the door to prepare for the ordeal to come. A short time later, she found herself dressed and clasping a simple locket about her neck when her husband came in searching the floor. “What are you looking for?”

  “The key,” he mumbled sheepishly.

  Tessa vaguely remembered him tossing it into her room before he closed the connecting door and barricaded it the night before. She shook her head in astonishment of his actions last night. “Leave it. I will have a maid look for it,” she directed before giving herself a onceover in the mirror. “I am ready,” she walked across the room and turned the key in her lock.

  Before she realized it, Derek stood beside her. He wove his fingers with hers and brought the back of her hand up for a kiss. Tessa nervously smiled at him.

  “All will be fine,” he whispered before bestowing a gentle kiss upon her lips.

  She straightened her spine, and the couple left the house. They traveled by carriage to the Horse Guards and Tessa found herself too nervous to take in her surroundings. When the carriage stopped, Derek assisted her out of the carriage and together they entered the intimidating building. The entire time, she never once relinquished Derek’s hand.

  He guided her up several flights of stairs before stopping in front of a door labeled Secretary at War. He raised his fist and knocked on the door.

  “I thought we were to meet with the director?”

  “We are.”

  “But that says ‘Secretary at War’.”

  “His official title. He seems to think that being called ‘The Director’ lends to a little more mystery.” A harried young man opened the door, his thinning blonde hair flying about his head and his glasses slightly askew. “We have an appointment with the director, Smithy.”

  “My name is Smith, my lord, and he has been waiting for you.”

  “Thank you, Smithy,” Derek said, teasing the man. He felt an elbow in his ribs and looked down to see the frown on his wife’s face. “We just tease him a bit,” he consoled her. The door to the inner-office stood open and Tessa felt as if the earth shifted slightly beneath her feet. Derek felt her sway into him and started to say something, but a voice stopped him.

  “Get in here,” a deep voice touched with a hint of a Scottish brogue called out.

  “Time to face the lion,” Derek murmured and walked towards the office, tugging her along behind him.

  “You’re late,” the man said, not looking up from where he made notations on a piece of paper.

  “Apologies,” Derek said. “Director McKenzie, I would like to introduce you to my wife, Tessa Simmons, Countess of Blackburn.”

  The man looked up and eyed Tessa up and down. She inhaled a sharp breath at his visage. Coal black hair framed a weathered, but extremely handsome face. Dark lashes framed the bluest eyes she had ever seen. The man before her exuded virility, and she found herself surprised at his youth. He could not have been much older than Derek, but had a world-weary look that her husband lacked. He also looked very familiar to her. She felt her husband squeeze her hand and knew she had taken too long observing this man who held her fate in his hands.

  “It is a pleasure to meet you Director McKenzie.”

  “Hardly a pleasure, Countess,” he answered gruffly, “or we would not be meeting here.”

  “True,” she acknowledged.

  “Blackburn, release your wife’s hand and go to your office. We have intercepted several pieces of correspondence that needs your attention.” Director McKenzie saw the man begin to argue and quirked his brow at the agent. “I believe I made my wishes clear. I will not have her taken to Newgate without your knowledge.”

  “He’s teasing,” Derek soothed when he felt Tessa go rigid. The Director remained silent. “He will not harm you,” Derek uttered before squeezing her hand once more and then leaving the office.

  “Smith, bring water,” M
cKenzie called to the outer office. Shortly the requested water pitcher with a glass appeared. “Shut the door when you leave.”

  “Does everyone always do your bidding without question, director?”

  “If they know what is good for their continued well-being,” he shrugged. “Now, sit and begin your tale.”

  Tessa felt relief at being able to finally share her story and suspicions with someone other than Derek.

  * * *

  Down a maze of corridors, Derek attempted to concentrate on the material in front of him, but found his mind drifting to what might be happening to Tessa. He pushed up from the desk and walked to the window, bracing his hands on either side. As he looked down at the people bustling to and fro, he endeavored to conjure the image of the man playing them like puppets but could not remember what the Captain’s secretary looked like. The man had been around so little it had been easy to ignore him.

  “I wondered if I would see you here.”

  “Tessa told you she would see McKenzie and answer his questions,” Derek retorted, throwing a look at his friend over his shoulder before turning back to the window.

  “Yes, but I know you are ready to bolt to safety. What are you doing?”

  “Searching for a specter. Tell me Gabe, how can one man keep slipping so easily from our grasp?” The two men remained quiet for several minutes. “He shot at her last night.”

  “Who? When? Where?”

  “The Captain’s secretary is who Tessa suspects as the true traitor. She does not know his motive nor his former or current activities. She opened the doors to our balcony last night, and stepped out for only a moment. If she had not dropped her ring and fallen to her knees to secure it... Let’s just say that I would be making plans of a more permanent nature.”

  “That close?”

  “Yes. Damn,” Derek slammed his hand against the window casing. “If only I could recall what the bastard looked like.”

  “Blended in with the shadows?”

  “He never seemed to be around much. The few times I remember him being there, he always kept to himself, not attracting attention.”

  Derek turned away from the window and returned to his desk. An odd symbol he had never before seen appeared at the beginning and end of the letter. He made note of it, drawing it larger than it appeared on the correspondence on a separate sheet of paper. Gabe sat across from him reading through pages of information when the weasel-like Smith appeared at Derek’s door followed closely by Tessa.

  “Thank you, Mr. Smith,” Tessa said before entering her husband’s office. Derek stood, moved around the desk and embraced her tightly. She let out a sigh, and closed her eyes as she relished the familiar scent and feel of him.

  “That will be all, Smith,” Gabe’s tone brooked no argument, “and shut the door.”

  Derek pulled back and cupped her face in his hands, “You look none the worse for wear,” he attempted to tease her

  “Director McKenzie treated me very kindly and fairly. He listened to my entire story. He too believes Danny to be the true traitor. A man came and listened to my description of him and drew a fair likeness of him. I am amazed someone can do that!” she exclaimed.

  “So you are no longer a suspect and we can return to the Blackburn Hall.”

  “Not exactly.”

  “Why not?” he crossed his arms and looked down his nose at her.

  “I shared mine and Hawkescliffe’s idea about using me as a lure. He thought it an excellent idea in the right conditions.”

  “Of course he would.”

  “Derek, I feel sorry for him. I think the director is a lonely man who has only his work to keep him warm at night,” Tessa said, feeling sorry for the man not for the first time that day.

  “Do not let him hear you say that,” Gabe interjected.

  “He asked about Kala,” Tessa told Derek, trying to sneak a peek at Gabe’s reaction. “He seemed rather interested in more than a friendly way.”

  “Just exactly what all did you and McKenzie discuss?” Gabe snarled. Tessa shrugged in response. “I have a meeting I must attend,” Gabe stood, papers in hand, and crossed the office opening the door. He paused on his way out, “I will stop by tomorrow to discuss the first phase of the plan.” He shut the door rather loudly.

  “Tessa you shouldn’t have done that,” Derek warned.

  “Perhaps, but he needs to be aware that there are other men interested in Kala, and if he isn’t careful he will lose her.”

  “That is between them and not us,” Derek looked at her pointedly. When she made no indication that she agreed he let out a sigh. “At least sit while I attempt to decode the rest of this letter.”

  Tessa did as he asked and eyed the letter curiously. Nothing looked strange to her except there were small marks at the beginning and end of the letter that had no resemblance at all to a letter. She then saw the single sheet of paper where Derek had redrawn the symbol rather largely.

  “I know that symbol,” she breathed in awe.

  “This one?” he asked, lifting up the sheet of paper. She nodded her reply. “What is it? I know that it is Celtic in nature, but honestly I did not know it had meaning.”

  “It means brotherhood. Finn, Danny, and I used to draw it on the back of our hands to show that we would always be family.”

  “Damn. I wonder if it could now indicate a new brotherhood to the man,” he mused.

  Chapter 26

  “My lord, a message just arrived for you,” Ramsey announced as they arrived back at the house from their morning spent at the War Office.

  “Thank you, Ramsey.”

  “Would you care for any refreshments?”

  “That would be wonderful, Ramsey,” Tessa replied.

  “I will have tea and a light repast served in the study for you and his lordship.”

  “And please bring coffee for Lord Blackburn, please.” Tessa asked the butler, knowing that her husband preferred the stronger drink, and then followed Derek’s retreating figure into the study. She eased herself into a chair in front of his desk and let out a long sigh.

  Derek looked at her as he broke the wax seal on the missive Ramsey had indicated earlier. He leaned against the front of the desk, his legs crossed negligently.

  “Tired?”

  “What do you think,” she muttered.

  “Definitely irritable,” he replied and cleared his throat when she shot him a look. He leaned down and caressed her cheek with the back of his fingers. “You have had it a bit rough lately.” He pulled back and began to read the note.

  Tessa felt disappointment that he did not lean down and kiss her. She had come to look forward to his kisses, as well as his other displays of affection. She could feel herself pouting, but could not stop the petulant tug on her lips. Her morning had been spent being questioned and asked minute details over and over again. He head ached, and she felt hungry and tired.

  “Well, it appears Aunt Drucilla and Kala are more than happy to help us,” he chuckled breaking into her thoughts.

  “When?”

  “They are coming by this afternoon.”

  “No, Derek,” Tessa pleaded. “I can’t,” she felt angry at the tears of weakness that hovered on her lashes, and the way her voice warbled. A maid entered then with the tray of food and drink. Tessa turned her face away in consternation and listened to Derek direct the maid then close the door. She heard him approaching and felt comfort as he placed his hands on her shoulders.

  “I will send word to Dru to postpone her visit.”

  “I’m sorry, I just...it’s all too much too soon,” she finally admitted. “First I actually remembered, and I thought that difficult enough, but then I had to break down each memory for Director McKenzie. So much death I had to relive yet again and again. And now I worry that I have left out some important piece of information, failed to remember one important clue.”

  “You must stop this self-recrimination,” Derek ordered. “If you remember anything else, we wi
ll simply let McKenzie know. Now, I want you to relax and eat something. I will ask Dru and Kala to come mid-morning tomorrow instead, all right?”

  “Yes,” Tessa nodded in agreement.

  Derek quickly wrote the note, sealed it and found a footman to see it delivered. He returned to the study, taking Tessa’s tea cup and adding a touch of whisky.

  “This will help you relax.” He watched her sniff hesitantly, sip, and begin coughing. He chuckled as she sputtered and put down the cup. Derek picked it back up and handed it to her once more. “Trust me, drink it all.” He watched her glare at him mutinously as she obeyed his command. Once she did, he refilled her cup with the combination of tea and whisky once more. “Enjoy this cup,” he directed. They sat in companionable silence for some time.

  “Tell me about Director McKenzie,” Tessa asked curiously. She had kicked off her slippers and curled her feet underneath her skirts in the chair.

  “Why are you so curious?”

  “I can’t shake this feeling,” she responded. “I know this must sound silly, but except for the slight difference in eye color, the age, and the scar, I would almost guess that he and Hawkescliffe were twins.”

  “You are very astute.”

  “Explain yourself,” she ordered, perking up a bit.

  “Hawkescliffe and McKenzie are half-brothers.”

  “What?!”

  “McKenzie’s mother was the daughter of an impoverished duke. She had grown up alongside Hawkescliffe’s father, in fact the two were rather smitten with one another. However, Gabriel’s grandfather would not allow the match because she could not bring a dowry to the table and forced Gabe’s father to marry his first wife, her best friend. She presented him with two sons in two years and died in childbirth the third year as did the baby girl.”

  “But where does the director come in?”

  “Patience. McKenzie’s mother remained good friends with the couple, and she was present at the duchess’ confinement and subsequent death. In fact, she had been chosen to be the one to tell him he lost both wife and daughter. He turned to her for comfort and one thing led to another.”