Close Remembrance

by Anna Zaires

  Of course, her physical appeal was only a part of it now. Reaching over, Korum took her hand again. “I see in you the woman I love,” he said, not even trying to hide the depth of his emotions. “I see a beautiful, smart girl who’s sweet and brave and has the courage of her convictions. I see someone who’ll do anything for those she loves, who’ll go to any lengths to protect those dear to her. I see someone I can’t live without, someone who brightens every moment of my existence and makes me happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”

  Mia inhaled, her eyes filling with moisture. “Oh Korum . . .” Her slender fingers twitched in his grasp. “Korum, I don’t even know what to say –”

  “You don’t have to say anything,” he interrupted, ignoring the pain of her inadvertent rejection. “I know I’m still a stranger to you. I don’t expect you to feel the same way about me now as you did before. Not yet, at least . . .”

  She nodded, and a single tear rolled down her face. “I hate this,” she confessed, her voice breaking for a second. “I hate that such a big part of my life disappeared, that I lost everything that brought us to this point. I need you, but I don’t know you, and it’s driving me crazy. I loved you too, didn’t I? Even though all that stuff happened between us, we were still in love, right?”

  “Yes,” Korum said, his hand tightening around her palm. “Yes, we were very much in love, my darling.” And unable to resist any longer, he gently wrapped one arm around her back, bringing her closer to him. She buried her face against his shoulder, and he could feel the wetness from her tears on his bare skin. The sweet scent of her hair teased his nostrils, her nearness making his cock harden again.

  Don’t be such an animal. She needs comfort now, Korum told himself. And ignoring the lust raging through his body, he let Mia cry, knowing she needed this emotional release.

  After a minute, she pulled away, looking up at him through tear-spiked lashes. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, “I didn’t mean to cry all over you . . .”

  Korum smiled, wiping away the wetness on her cheeks with his knuckles. “You can cry all over me any time you want.” Her tears were as precious to him as her smiles. He hated to see her sad, but liked the feel of her slender body in his arms, enjoyed being the one to soothe her, to make her pain go away.

  Even if, more often than not, he had been the cause of that pain.

  * * *

  They spent the rest of the day together on the beach, with Korum patiently explaining everything Mia had once known and forgotten about the Krinar. He told her about blood addiction and xenos, the Celebration of Forty-Seven and the importance of ‘standing’ in Krinar society. She listened attentively, asking questions, and Korum gladly answered them, knowing how much she needed to catch up on.

  “So do you have the concept of money? How does your economy work?” Her eyes were bright and curious as they continued their discussion over dinner.

  “Yes, we definitely have the concept of money.” Korum paused to take a bite of his peanut-flavored soba noodles. “We work and get paid for the contributions we make to our society. The greater the contribution, the greater the pay, regardless of the field. However, wealth is not as important to us as it is to humans. Our economy is neither purely capitalist nor government-run; it’s kind of a blend of the two. For the most part, everyone has their basic needs met. There’s no such thing as homelessness or hunger on Krina. Even the laziest Krinar lives quite well by human standards. But, to have anything beyond food, shelter, and daily necessities, you have to do something productive with your life – you have to contribute to society in some way.”

  She was looking very interested, so Korum continued his explanation. “Financial rewards are only a part of the reason why people work, though. The main motivation is the need to be respected, to be recognized for our achievements. Few Krinar want to go through life having others look down upon them. You see, for us, having a low standing is almost like being an outcast. Someone who’s never done anything useful in his life will ultimately find himself treated with contempt by others. Having a high standing is much more important than being wealthy – although the two usually go hand-in-hand.”

  “So wealthy Krinar have a high standing, and vice versa?” Mia asked.

  “No, not necessarily. One could be wealthy through inheritance or family, but that doesn’t mean that person will have a high standing. Rafor, Loris’s son, is a prime example of that. His father gave him all the wealth he could possibly need, but he couldn’t give him a good standing. That can only be earned – or lost – through one’s own efforts.”

  Mia looked puzzled. “Wait, how do you lose standing through your own efforts?”

  “There are a number of ways,” Korum said. “Committing a crime is an obvious one. So is doing something dishonorable, like cheating on your mate. It’s also possible to lose standing by failing at something important. For instance, Loris took that risk by assuming the role of the Protector for his son and the Keiths. Once they are judged guilty, his standing will be much lower and he’ll no longer be on the Council. That’s why he challenged me to the Arena today – because he has very little to lose at this point.”

  Her eyes widened with surprise. “What do you mean, he challenged you?”

  Korum hesitated. Perhaps he shouldn’t have mentioned it to Mia just yet, but it was too late now. “Remember I told you about the Arena earlier today?” he asked.

  “You said it was a way to resolve irreconcilable differences . . .” A small frown appeared on her face.

  “Yes,” Korum confirmed, “it is. And that’s what Loris and I have: an irreconcilable difference of opinion. I think his son is a traitorous lowlife, and he disagrees.”

  “So he challenged you to a fight? But I thought you said those were dangerous –”

  “They are.” Korum smiled in anticipation, familiar excitement zinging through his veins. He needed this sometimes: the danger, the adrenaline, the raw physical challenge of subduing an opponent. As much as he enjoyed fighting during defrebs matches, he was always aware that it was just a game, that everyone would walk away with nothing more than a few scrapes and bruises. There was no such guarantee in the Arena, which is what made it so thrilling.

  “So you could be killed?” Mia’s eyes were beginning to glisten with moisture, and Korum realized that she found the idea more than a little disturbing. He definitely shouldn’t have brought this up yet.

  “There is a small chance,” he said carefully, not wanting to upset her further. “Although killing is technically illegal, it’s usually forgiven if it happens in the heat of an Arena battle. But you don’t need to worry, my sweet. I can take care of myself.”

  She didn’t seem convinced. “You said he hates you.” Her voice quivered a little. “Wouldn’t he try to kill you?”

  “He can certainly try,” Korum said, “but I’m not going to let him. You have nothing to worry about –”

  “He’s not a good fighter?”

  “He is,” Korum admitted. “Or at least he used to be. I don’t know his skill level these days.”

  “Don’t do it,” she said, reaching over to grab his hand. “Please, Korum, don’t do this fight –”

  “Mia . . .” He sighed, covering her hand with his own. “Listen to me, darling, once a challenge has been issued, it cannot be undone. I can’t walk away from this fight, and neither can Loris. We’re both committed, do you understand that?”

  “No,” she said stubbornly, “I don’t. I don’t want you to risk your life like that –”

  “It’s not as big of a risk as you think,” Korum said. “When he attacked me today, it took me all of ten seconds to get to his throat. If that had been an Arena fight, he would’ve been declared a loser at that point.” It was equally likely that Loris would’ve been dead, but Korum didn’t want to tell Mia that. Human women and violence generally didn’t mix well – especially when the woman in question was a sheltered young girl.

  “So when is the fight suppo
sed to be?” She still looked upset.

  Korum sighed. He really should’ve kept quiet about this. “The day after tomorrow,” he said. “At noon.”

  Chapter 11

  Mia stood in the circular room that functioned as a shower stall, letting water jets pummel every inch of her body. Under normal circumstances, she would’ve loved the novelty of showering in an alien dwelling. Like everything else in the house, the shower was intelligent, adjusting automatically to her needs. All Mia had to do was stand there and let the amazing technology wash, scrub, condition, and massage her. It was wonderfully relaxing – or would’ve been, if she could just turn her brain off and not think about what Korum had told her at dinner.

  He’d been dismissive of the danger of the upcoming fight, but Mia couldn’t be so blasé. When he’d mentioned Loris’s challenge, her blood had run cold, gruesome images of dismembered bodies flooding her mind. What if something happened to Korum? He wasn’t truly immortal; he could be killed, just like his grandfather.

  The thought of Korum dying was unbearable, unimaginable. It didn’t matter that Mia had only known him – or remembered knowing him – for a day.

  This day had been the best one of her conscious life.

  Spending time with Korum had been incredible. She had never had that kind of connection with anyone else before, had never felt so magically alive in another man’s presence. It went beyond sexual desire, beyond simple physical need. It was as though every part of her longed to be with him, to soak in his essence. She wanted him with a desperation that made no sense, with a passion that was almost frightening in its intensity.

  Somewhere in the back of her mind, Mia knew she was acting irrationally, completely unlike herself. A normal person in this type of situation would ask Korum to take her home, back to New York or Florida, where she could come to terms with the memory loss and gradually re-enter her normal life – such as it was these days. She shouldn’t want to cling to an extraterrestrial, shouldn’t be so calm about living in his house, separated from everyone and everything she could recall.

  And yet she didn’t want to ask him, didn’t want to think about leaving him even for a moment. Mia had no doubt her psychology classmates would’ve had a field day analyzing her strange reactions, from the ease with which she’d accepted the impossible to her unhealthy dependence on a man she’d known for only a short period of time. But she didn’t care; all she knew was that she needed Korum – and that he seemed to need her too.

  Had her former boss – Saret – known it would be like this? Had he realized that erasing a part of her memory didn’t destroy whatever it was that bound her and Korum together? Somehow Mia doubted it. If what Korum had told her about Saret’s intentions was true, the mind expert would’ve been unpleasantly surprised by her continued attachment to Korum and lack of interest toward him.

  After the shower was over, Mia stepped out of the circular stall, letting the water drip off her onto the strange sponge-like substance on the floor that kept massaging her feet. Korum had explained that all she needed to do was stand there and let the technology take care of her bathroom routine, so Mia was taking him at his word.

  Sure enough, warm jets of air quickly dried off her body, while a small tornado seemed to engulf the area around her head, blowing around each strand of her hair and filling her mouth with a taste of something refreshingly clean. By the time it was done, Mia was dry from head to toe, her curls defined and shaped to perfection, as if she’d just emerged from a fancy hair salon. Her mouth also felt like she’d just brushed her teeth.

  Nice.

  All that was left was to put on some clothes. Pulling on a thick, fluffy robe that Korum had thoughtfully given her earlier, Mia looked at the mirror that made up one of the walls, noting the sparkle in her eyes and the flush that colored her cheeks. Her heart pounded in anticipation, and her stomach felt like it was hosting an entire colony of butterflies.

  If there was even a small chance that she might lose Korum in two days, then every moment they had together was precious. And as nervous as the idea made her, Mia wanted to know her lover fully – to experience again that which she had forgotten.

  She wanted Korum to take her to bed.

  * * *

  Korum sat on the edge of the bed, waiting for Mia to finish her shower. He’d showered already, using his fist to take the edge off the lust that had ridden him hard all day.

  Spending so much time with her, touching her, smelling her – it had almost driven him insane. Under normal circumstances, they would’ve had sex a couple of times on the beach, or when they’d gotten home before dinner. And instead, he’d had to content himself with a few light touches and caresses that had only added to his hunger, making his skin prickle and his cock swell with need. If he hadn’t masturbated in the shower, she would’ve been in serious danger of getting jumped this evening. As it was, Korum was still feeling quite edgy, and he was hoping to work off some of his excess energy by going for a defrebs session early in the morning – or at night, as humans thought of the hours between three and four a.m.

  It was already past eleven in the evening, which was Mia’s normal bed time. Korum wasn’t the least bit tired himself, but he wanted to tuck her in and hold her until she fell asleep – even if doing so would torture him further. It was important to start getting her accustomed to him, to get her to feel comfortable with his touch . . . because Korum didn’t know how much longer he could go without having her.

  To distract himself, he looked down at his palm, sending out a mental query to check on the progress of the search for Saret. The guardians had found traces of Saret’s presence in Germany, but then his trail had gone cold again. However he was moving around, he was managing to do so out of sight of Krinar satellites and other spying devices – a feat that Korum reluctantly admired, even though the thought of Saret on the loose made him see red.

  “What are you doing?” Mia’s softly spoken question jerked him out of his absorption with the search.

  Looking up, Korum smiled at the sight of her standing there, her small feet bare and the robe wrapped all over her slender body. Her hands were twisting together in a gesture that betrayed her nervousness. “I’m just checking up on a couple of things,” he replied. “How was your shower? Did you like it?”

  She moistened her lips, drawing his attention to her mouth. “It was awesome,” she said. “Like everything else here.”

  “Good,” Korum said, watching her closely. Was she afraid to be near a bed with him? Gentling his tone, he said, “Come, let’s go to sleep, my sweet. You’ve had a long day. You must be so tired.”

  She nodded uncertainly and approached him, her movements imbued with an unconscious sensuality that was as much a part of her as those beautiful curls. Korum shifted and raised his knee slightly, seeking to hide the erection tenting his pants again.

  When she was a foot away, she stopped, and he could hear her rapid heartbeat. A warm, feminine scent reached his nostrils, sending more blood rushing toward his groin.

  She was not afraid, Korum realized. She was turned on.

  Hardly daring to breathe, he reached out and took her hand, bringing her closer until she was sitting on the bed next to him. At his action, he could hear her heartbeat spiking, a mixture of apprehension and excitement written on her face.

  “Mia,” he asked softly, “are you sure?”

  She nodded, her soft mouth trembling. “Yes,” she whispered. “I’m sure . . .”

  His body reacted to her words with painful intensity, his cock hardening further and his balls drawing up against his body. But when he leaned over to kiss her, he kept his lips gentle, tender – as her first time should be.

  She’d come to him that other first time too, but she’d done it as a challenge, as a way to assert her independence and spite him in some small way. He hadn’t cared then, glad to just have her there, in his apartment, in his bed. And in his rush to take her, he’d hurt her, tearing through her virginity with all
the care of a rutting animal.

  This was his chance to make up for it. She was a virgin again – in mind, if not in body. And Korum was determined to make sure that there would be no pain for her this night, only pleasure.

  He kissed her softly, with just his lips at first, stroking her hair and back with soothing motions. She tasted fresh and sweet, her scent familiar and enticing. Her small hands came up, curved around the back of his neck, her fingers reaching into his hair, sending shivers of pleasure down his spine. Not wanting to deepen the kiss, Korum moved his lips to her cheek, then the underside of her jaw, tasting the sensitive skin there.

  She moaned, arching her head back, exposing more of her pale throat to his mouth, and Korum kissed her there too, fighting the urge to take her blood at the same time. He would do it, but not today, not for this first time.

  Carefully, so as not to startle her, he pulled at her robe, opening it as he continued kissing her, his mouth moving to her collarbone and then below.

  Her body was beautiful, slim and curved in all the right places, her skin smooth and inviting to the touch. Korum slowly ran his hand over her breasts and her flat belly, marveling at the delicacy of her frame. His palm could almost cover her entire ribcage, his skin strikingly dark against the pale perfection of hers.

  He could see the pulse beating rapidly in the side of her neck, hear her elevated breathing, and he knew she was as anxious as she was aroused. Raising his head, Korum caught her staring at him, her face flushed and her lips slightly parted.

  “I love you, Mia,” he murmured, reaching up to move that stray curl off her face. “You know that, right?”

  She nodded shyly, still watching him with her huge blue eyes. Those eyes made him want to slay dragons for her, rip apart anyone who dared try to hurt her.