by Ryan Muree
“What in the world is wrong with me?” Shenna whined.
Aulos giggled, then hooted and hollered. “Man, that was painful. You guys really don’t date do you?”
“No!” Shenna pulled her closer and hooked her arm through hers. “When I say I’m studying, I’m actually studying. When I say we don’t have time, I really mean it. None of us know what we’re doing with stuff like this because none of us do stuff like this.”
Aulos closed her eyes and lifted her chin. “Well, you, my dear Shen, have a date.”
“No—”
“Yes, I was a witness. I saw it. That was asking you out on a date.” She hopped over a pebble in the road and bounced her hip back into Shenna. “And you’re excited, and he’s excited, and I’m excited. The whole world is excited for Shenna and Colter’s date.”
“That’s not it. Even if he did like me like that, we don’t have time to date. It’s not a thing. We have real things to focus on.”
Aulos groaned. “And that’s so incredibly sad, Shenna. You get one life before the Necrophaise kills any one of us, and you choose to not enjoy it.”
“No, I choose to bust my rear end to stop the Necrophaise so we can enjoy life.”
“Well,” Aulos said, loosening her grip and pulling away, “suit yourself. But you better look nice. You better tell me everything after.”
“Of course.” She rolled her eyes as if she knew this simple fact, even though she had no idea what “looking nice” meant when she wore the same style every day. Occhemists didn’t have time to worry about what they looked like. It just needed to function.
Aulos pointed at her. “Promise?”
Shenna nodded. “Yes.”
“Good! Have fun, enjoy yourself, fall in love!” she called out as she ran down the path.
Fall in love?
Aulos had become ridiculous. It was one thing to be interested, another to date, but love?
Shenna bit her lip and smiled.
Chapter 7
In the bustle of the market quarter in City Center, she glanced at herself in the nearest shop’s window for the hundredth time.
Aulos said to wear something nice. The best Shenna could do was her linen white sun dress, embroidered with white starflowers and tiny white beads for pollen. It had been hanging in the very back of her closet, because Zoi had insisted it be saved for special occasions. Thankfully, Aulos had approved and even brought a pair of sandals. It seemed Aulos had accurately predicted Shenna only owned boots.
The windows on the cork shop were long and wide. She could see her full reflection in the afternoon sun. Her dark hair lay around her shoulders in waves. Her face was plain, though, much to Aulos’s frustration. Shenna had refused to add any balm to her lips or powder to her face.
She glanced up the wide marble stairs wrapping around the Sun Spire and began the climb.
A towering white spire, it held most professions’ main offices, including the Occhemist Circle. It also had a terrace large enough to fit a small park. It had grass with ponds and benches. It faced the setting sun that lit the twinkling branches of the tula trees.
She used to race up these stairs with Aulos as children. They’d pant and heave just to see who could reach the top first, usually to interrupt Zoi in the middle of an Occhemist Circle meeting.
Now she took her time.
Her goal was to pass her salves practical. That was it. That took her whole focus.
Even if Colter did like her like that, she couldn’t afford to let his affections distract her.
Right?
But what if he did? She bit her lip. What if… what if he actually admitted it… tonight?
She continued the climb to the terrace, lowering her chin to hide her smile. Colter was… nice. Colter was smart and considerate. He always helped her. Even when he was teasing, he was helping. He never doubted her, and he’d agreed to help her pass this test. He was… good. Liking him felt good.
It helped that he was tall and broad like a tree. And that smile that made her smile. His glasses suited his face. His hair, a dusty brown. His hands, strong but soft.
Just like his eyes. And maybe his lips.
His lips! What if he tried to kiss her? Why hadn’t she thought to ask Aulos this before?
She shook her head again. Just one flight left to Sun Terrace.
He wouldn’t. She was getting too far ahead of herself. He hadn’t even said he liked her. All he’d said was that he’d like to “especially” save her from the Necrophaise. If he hadn’t said that, well then he’d have been a jerk. So it meant nothing. Aulos, and she, must have read too far into that.
It was better to expect nothing. All she had to do was survive the night.
She reached the top to find Colter standing there waiting. Dressed in a pressed white shirt and dark pants, he still wore his harvesting boots—though they were slightly cleaner. He had dressed up the best way he could.
When he saw her, he smiled and adjusted his glasses. He could have been wearing a bed sheet, and his dimples would make up for it.
“Hey, you made it,” he said.
She grinned. “Yeah. Did you think I wouldn’t come?”
He shrugged. “You never know.”
Several Eiens walked along the terrace. They chatted with friends or sat with children at the gardens. Couples stood along the edge or lounged in the grass on blankets in preparation for the sunset.
She followed Colter to a bright green-and-blue blanket on the far-right side. Not too far back, but not up front, they’d have the perfect spot to watch the sun set over the dawnflower fields.
“I hope you don’t mind that I brought a full meal. I kind of like to cook.” He knelt and fumbled with a basket he’d brought.
He cooks? He cooked for me. Her cheeks flushed.
She sat on the soft blanket and folded her legs beneath her. “I didn’t know that.”
“You thought I was asking you all those food questions for the heck of it?” He pulled out several pieces wrapped in parchment and tied with twine.
“Of course not,” she fibbed. “That would be crazy.”
He chuckled and untied roasted black-bellied fish covered in a salt rub. Then came a small wrapped paper box of roasted gourds, cut and seasoned. He had loja seeds, previously soaked in warm water to form a jelly for a dipping sauce, and a carafe of ice-cold spring water infused with sunberry slices.
“Dessert is last. It’s syrup bread from Sal and Asher’s bakery. You said how much you like it.” His peripheral glance lingered.
She grinned and shook her head. “I can’t believe this. You went through a lot of trouble, Colter. It looks amazing.”
His smile reached his eyes. “It was worth it, I think.”
They ate, and to her surprise, it tasted even better than it looked. The flaky fish was smooth and held its flavor. The gourds were filling. The dipping sauce worthy of licking the plate clean. Though she wouldn’t. Licking her plate and silverware clean would definitely ruin the moment. Whatever the moment was. Not that it was a moment.
Colter cleared his throat. “So, I had an ulterior motive to inviting you tonight. I wanted to ask you something.”
Here it was. But they didn’t have time to date or carry on relationships like others did. They could be friends, but a commitment like this was more than just a commitment to each other. It was a commitment of time and effort—both of which they didn’t have. Shouldn’t have.
Aulos’s ugly words came back—Excuse. Was she making an excuse?
“I,” Colter started, then took a drink before continuing, “have lost all of my loved ones, except Mentor Chaak. He raised me and cared for me, just like your mentor.”
She nodded and took a drink herself, something to clear the prickling in her throat and stop herself from biting her lip any harder.
“I’ve watched every single childhood friend and loved one walk into the Stonetree Arch to die from the Necrophaise. I’ve devoted my life to being an occhemist to st
op it. I want to find the Last Elixir, Shenna.”
She dropped her gaze to her lap and nodded. “I understand. We all feel that way.”
“I’m glad.” He paused. “I want to apply to go to Revellis now, and look for it.”
Her jaw dropped. Her heart, her stomach, her everything dropped. She jerked her head up and met his stare. “What?”
“Mentor Chaak says I’m ready. I can’t stand by and watch another person I care about die. Unless…”
The words he was saying, the whole process of volunteering already laying out before her in her mind.
He would go to the Occhemist Circle. They’d approve him, especially if Chaak vouched for him. He’d pass through the wall that kept Eien safe from Revellis. He’d search for the Elixir and never return.
They were supposed to. That was the hope—the dream. But they never returned.
So many classmates and teaching assistants before him went. They felt it was their duty. Every candidate strove to achieve this very thing, but they never returned. And Colter…
“I want to apply, Shenna. But I’m asking your opinion. I value your perspective. You’re skilled…”
She met his glance again at his pause.
“You’re a very close friend of mine. I want to know if I should, or if there’s a reason I shouldn’t.” His green eyes bore into her, searching for an answer she wasn’t prepared for.
His green eyes bore into her, searching for an answer she wasn’t prepared for.He didn’t need her permission. Sure, they had been more than acquaintances growing up, and closer now in recent weeks.
“When? When would you apply? When would you leave?” She swallowed.
He shrugged a shoulder. “I’d apply soon. But it’d be up to the Circle when I left.”
Soon? It was too soon. He was only a level three. They couldn’t be that desperate to let him go. Sure, they might let him apply, but he was years from actually going. Two, at least. They’d save his application for later. Much later.
So why did it hurt? Why did her chest and stomach twist and tighten? Why did it feel like she’d cry?
“I’m honored,” she started, but her voice came out as groggy as she felt, “you would consider my opinion. But I don’t think my opinion should matter.”
He nodded. “I’m asking you if there’s a reason I shouldn’t go through with it.”
Why would he say that?
He began cleaning up their dinner. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. I was just hoping for input from someone who wasn’t Chaak.”
She folded up her dinner wrappings for disposal and finished her drink. The glass shook in her hand. She lowered it to her lap quickly. How could she say how she felt? And what did she feel?
This is all he’d ever wanted; it’s all she’d ever wanted. To go to Revellis and search for the Last Elixir was the pinnacle of being an occhemist. It’d save everyone from the Necrophaise. It’d save Eien. It was the highest honor possible to even be accepted to go on the quest.
But what reason could he possibly be looking for from her to not go? Was he hoping she’d say he wasn’t ready? Was he hoping she’d tell him he was too young? He wasn’t. Others his age had gone before.
And there was a very real chance he would go and not find the Elixir. No one had yet. Zoi had been the only one to make it back alive. The rest had all ended up dead. As dead as an Eien with the Necrophaise.
But if there was one who could find it, it would be Colter. He was skilled enough. And if he did, he’d be a hero, honored for eternity, the best occhemist Eien had ever seen.
He knew what the right answer was. He had to. He must have wanted her confidence.
“I believe in you,” she said slow and steady. “This is all you’ve ever wanted, and you’re good at it. Very good. If anyone could find it, it would be you. You don’t need my opinion, Colter. You already know what you should do.”
He sighed, stood with the basket in hand, and reached down to help her up.
She took his hand, wondering if it would lead to something more. Maybe a walk along the edge of Sun Terrace for a sunset treat. They still hadn’t enjoyed the syrup bread. Perhaps he wanted to take her dancing by the fountains in City Center. She rubbed her palms on her dress as discreetly as she could.
“I’ve had a lovely evening, Shenna. Thank you for coming and helping me. Good night.” His eyebrows were pulled in, his eyes wet.
“Sure, but—”
He turned and walked away. His back receded down the stairs toward City Center, his head bobbed low.
Oh, no. What had he wanted? What had she said that was wrong?
Maybe he wasn’t good at this dating thing either and hadn’t known how to end the date. Maybe he’d never been interested in her like that. Maybe she’d been right, and this had merely been a dinner between friends. Now that it was over, he’d left without her. Just as he’d come.
But that didn’t feel like the right explanation. No, he’d cut it short.
He’d seemed saddened by her response. She’d apparently answered incorrectly—her opinion had not been what he was expecting—and it had seemed to hurt him.
She glanced around. She’d been left standing there among the couples. Alone. She slipped off Aulos’s sandals and walked home.
Tutoring tomorrow would be awkward.
Chapter 8
For three days Colter avoided her. Or it seemed so.
She’d been so busy with deliveries and catalogs for Zoi that she’d barely even seen Aulos, and by the time she made it to tutoring—albeit five minutes late—Colter was nowhere to be found for the third day in a row. No tools. No materials. Nothing.
She took to the halls of the occhemist spire to find him.
And if—no, when—she caught up to him, she’d give him a real opinion. Ending the date early. Leaving her there. However he felt about her, he shouldn’t do that to friends, and she’d tell him.
“Of course I’d find you here!” Aulos blurted behind her. “You’ve been hiding from me for days. I should have checked the occhemist spire first. Wait, what are you doing? Don’t you have tutoring?”
Shenna huffed. “He’s avoiding me, I think.”
Aulos stuck out her bottom lip. “What happened? What did you do on the date? I told you not to be afraid of—”
“No, nothing. It was nothing like that. At this point, I’m not even sure it was a date.” Shenna led Aulos back down to City Center. If she couldn’t study with Colter, she could practice in her own lab, then. His decision to cut their date short because he didn’t like her opinion, and now being a child about it, would not ruin her chances of passing the practical.
Her last-chance exam was tomorrow, and it needed her full attention. Colter had been quite the distraction recently, and she couldn’t let it destroy all of her salves progress. The practical mattered, and Colter… used to. Did. Still does.
But she would focus on the practical.
“It was a date, Shenna. Were you too forceful? Maybe you scared him off?”
Shenna laughed. “No, that’s definitely not it.”
After she explained the conversation, Aulos’s eyebrows and forehead wrinkles smoothed as she smiled. “I stand by my original statement. He likes you. Shenna, he was looking for an excuse not to go to Revellis.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it? He wanted your opinion. He knows you really well because he’s been interested in you. He cares enough to help you train—”
“Those are all things friends do. Just friends.” Shenna stepped onto the path toward home.
“He specifically asked you for a reason.” Aulos shook her head. “You completely missed that. Trust me, he wants you to say that you’re the reason not to go.”
No. She couldn’t be right. That would be—
“That’s ridiculous. Going to Revellis is his dream. Finding the Elixir—”
“Yes, yes, we know. Stop it. There’s more to life than your job, Shenna.” Aulos unhooked
her arm and fixed her falling braid.
Sure, it was just a job to Aulos. She was a deathsinger, singing for victims of the Necrophaise as they made their final walk to die at the Stonetree Arch. She didn’t have the weight of their entire nation on her shoulders.
But… maybe there was more to living. Maybe Aulos wasn’t wrong. If Aulos’s crazy idea was right, then it meant Colter had wanted her to say she’d needed him to stay.
She groaned. That would have been selfish. She would never tell him to stay for her, and she’d never expect him to, either, if the tables were turned.
But it did explain why he was hurt. It explained why the date had ended so abruptly. Maybe he thought she didn’t care about him. “I need to find him. He hasn’t tutored me since the date, and my exam is tomorrow—”
“I thought you were already able to make salves?” Aulos rearranged the pleats in her dress as she walked.
“I can, but—”
“You just want to see him?” Aulos winked. “I understand. You definitely need to clear this up with him.”
Shenna stopped Aulos and faced her. “I’m not going to tell him not to go to Revellis. I can’t do that. It goes against everything we do. But I will admit that this—whatever this is between him and me—is clouding up my ability to do my best tomorrow. I want to see him. I like seeing him and working with him. Maybe there is something there, and if so, then I want to solve this. Even if we don’t study, I’m disappointed I can’t see him, as much as I’m disappointed when I don’t get time with you.”
Aulos raised an eyebrow.
“Okay, maybe I’m a little more disappointed about this thing between him and me, but I don’t know how to make it right, Aulos.”
Aulos shrugged and put her hands on her hips. “Tell him the truth, Shenna. There’s no crime in liking each other. There’s no crime in telling him you like his company and getting to know him and want to see him more often. There’s nothing wrong with telling him you like him and you’d hate to see him go. Eien will not fall apart if you two have a relationship and enjoy your free time together.”