‘Love? Who said anything about love?’ Meg stared, her heart pumping hard. ‘I’m not—I don’t…’ She gulped. ‘Oh…’
‘Why do you think you’re so very scared?’ Her mother’s voice was gentle. ‘Why does it matter so much?’
Meg sucked in a breath. ‘Because I love him. I love him so much it’s like this huge glowing thing inside me. When I’m with him I feel as though I’m a light that’s suddenly switched on. I love him, I love him, but I couldn’t say it, and now—now—’
‘That’s why you’re scared. Not because of Hayden or that stupid Georgina girl. But because this time you really care and when we really care it makes us vulnerable.’
Meg pressed her hand to her chest and looked at her mother. ‘What do I do? Tell me what to do.’
Her mother smiled, love in her eyes. ‘I think you already know the answer to that one.’
‘I think I need to find out if he loves me. But he’s never said—what if he doesn’t?’
‘He’s human too. He’s not going to put it all out there unless he thinks there’s a chance, and you’ve been pushing him away from day one. How many months have you worked together?’
‘Eight? Nine?’ Her brain was a mess. ‘I don’t know.’
‘And he’s been biding his time.’
‘He flirted with everyone. He only asked me out recently. Why?’
Her mother smiled and stood up. ‘Why don’t you ask him?’
‘Right now?’ Meg found it difficult to breathe. ‘Wh-what are you going to do?’
‘Stay with your son.’ Her voice calm, Catherine opened the fridge. ‘Go. You have a whole life to live, Meg. And I have a turkey to stuff.’
Chapter Nine
THE house looked empty. Quiet after the noise of the night before, the huge windows reflecting the green of the forest and the bright winter sunshine.
There was no sign of life.
Meg left her car and stood for a moment, breathing in the scent of pine. The whole place smelt like Christmas.
They could live here, she thought. They could make a life together. Be a family.
If that was what he wanted. If she wasn’t too late.
Walking towards the front door, she wondered if he’d seen her arrive. No, because he wouldn’t ignore her, would he? She refused to be that paranoid. If he’d seen her arrive, he would have answered the door. He wasn’t the sort to run and hide in the basement.
Her hand shook as she pressed the bell.
If her mother was wrong then she was about to make a total fool of herself. She was about to put her heart out there—everything she felt. She was giving him the chance to squash it.
Except that he wasn’t answering.
Which meant he obviously wasn’t sitting around brooding or getting blind drunk.
He’d gone out. Unless—unless he was inside and he already had company.
Feeling her courage drain away, Meg bit her lip, realising that the party had probably gone on long after she’d left. As far as he was concerned, their relationship was over. What was to stop him finding someone else?
The cold seeped through her jumper but Meg barely noticed.
She’d ruined everything. She should have been brave.
But she hadn’t.
And now she’d lost him.
It was over.
‘Mummy, wake up! He’s been! Can I open my stocking in your bed?’ Without waiting for an invitation, Jamie dragged his lumpy, bumpy stocking into the bed and Meg struggled to wake up.
She glanced at the clock and realised she’d been asleep for less than two hours.
‘It’s still only seven o’clock, Jamie, so don’t make too much noise. Grandma is asleep and she doesn’t want to be woken up this early.’
‘Do you need coffee or something?’ Jamie peered at her. ‘You look funny.’
‘I just haven’t quite woken up yet.’ Meg sat up and tried to shake off the sleep. ‘But I’m working on it. Right. What’s in this stocking?’ Even half-asleep and broken-hearted, she enjoyed watching him dig the presents out of the stocking and rip off the paper. They were just small things, but from the look on his face he might have been given the world. Watching his delight at discovering a Batman torch that had cost her less than a cup of coffee, she felt a rush of pride and gratitude. He was such a sweet-natured boy. So undemanding compared to so many of the other children she saw, who were only interested in the label or the ‘next big thing’.
‘This is so cool.’ He lay on his back on her bed, flashing the torch at the ceiling. ‘Watch, Mum. The beam is the shape of a bat.’
‘I’m watching.’
‘Isn’t Santa clever, Mum? He knows exactly what I want.’
Meg swallowed. The one thing he really wanted she hadn’t been able to give him.
She’d failed at that.
Racked with maternal guilt, she wrapped her child in her arms and hugged him tightly. ‘I love you.’
‘I love you, too. Can I give you my present to you now?’
‘You don’t want to wait for Grandma?’
‘Grandma helped me choose. Please? I want to see your face when you open it. You’re going to be so thrilled.’
His enthusiasm was so infectious that Meg grinned. ‘Go on, then.’
‘Are you excited?’
‘I’m excited.’
Jamie flew off the bed and reappeared moments later with a parcel. The wrapping paper was falling off and the whole thing was loosely bound together with metres of sticky tape. ‘I wrapped it myself.’
‘I see that. Good job.’ Meg handled it carefully, trying to extract her fingers from all the sticky tape. ‘Wow. What is it?’ She eased the present out of the wrapping and smiled. ‘Mrs Incredible pyjamas. How perfect.’ She swallowed. No matter what she did, however many mistakes she made, to him she was still Mrs Incredible.
Meg studied the pyjamas through a mist of tears.
‘They’re red. And when you put them on, you look exactly like Mrs Incredible.’ Jamie beamed at her. ‘Super-Mum, that’s you. I chose them myself. Do you like them?’
‘I love them.’ Her voice was thickened. ‘They’re the nicest thing anyone has ever given me.’
‘So are you going to put them on?’
‘Absolutely. Right away. I’ll wear them for breakfast.’ Glad of an excuse to leave the room and get herself under control, Meg picked up the pyjamas and walked to the bathroom.
Jamie called after her. ‘While you’re getting changed, I’ll just eat the chocolate from my stocking.’
‘Before breakfast?’ Meg brushed the tears from her cheeks. ‘Yes, why not? Enjoy. Don’t get chocolate on my bed.’
They’d be all right, she told herself. They’d get through. But it was an effort to put on the pyjamas and an effort to drag herself down to breakfast.
Her mother had switched on the Christmas tree lights and Meg’s living room looked cosy and festive.
After Jamie had opened his other present from her, a Nintendo Wii that she’d saved up to buy him, she left him playing and found her mother in the kitchen.
‘He seems happy.’
‘Of course he’s happy. He’s a child. Children are resilient. More resilient than we give them credit for. I’ve made a pot of coffee. Strong coffee.’ Her mother handed her a mug. ‘You look as though you need it, Mrs Incredible.’
‘Thanks.’ Meg looked down at herself. ‘I don’t deserve these. He should have bought me Mrs Make a Mess of Everything. They didn’t have a pair of those in the store, did they?’
‘Mum! Grandma!’ Jamie tore through the house, his eyes shining. ‘Look outside! I thought the Wii was the best present ever—oh, Mummy, thank you, thank you.’ Still in his Batman pyjamas, he dragged open the door and ran into the snow, Rambo barking at his heels.
‘Wh-what? Jamie, put a coat on!’ Appalled, Meg followed him, shivering in her own thin pyjamas. ‘It’s freezing out here! What do you think you’re…?’ She stopped, her jaw dropping a
s she saw the sleek Batmobile crouched on her front lawn. It was child-size, perfect for a boy of Jamie’s age. ‘What? What is going on?’
‘Oh, Mummy, thank you, thank you.’ Jamie was almost incoherent with excitement as he slid into the driver’s seat. ‘How does it work?’
‘Jamie I have no idea. I didn’t—It isn’t from me.’
‘It’s from me. I hope you don’t mind.’ Dino walked across the snow towards her, his black hair gleaming under the sun.
Meg stood still, shocked into silence by his unexpected appearance. ‘Dino…’
‘Merry Christmas, Mrs Incredible.’
Suddenly remembering that she was still wearing Jamie’s Christmas present, Meg tugged at her pyjamas self-consciously. Great. If she’d had to meet Dino straight from bed, she would have chosen to be wearing some shimmering slip of silk. Not novelty pyjamas. ‘I didn’t expect to see you. What are you doing here?’
‘You invited me to spend Christmas Day with you.’ He slid his hand under her face and held her gaze for a moment before turning back to Jamie. ‘It works on the snow. It will pretty much drive anywhere, but we can work out the best places together. Come inside and put on a coat and then we can try it out properly.’
Jamie was completely still, his eyes huge and wary as he stared at Dino. ‘You left.’ His tone was accusing. ‘You said you wouldn’t let her push you away, but you did.’
‘No, I didn’t. Sometimes girls need a bit of space to think things through and I was giving her space.’ Dino dropped into a crouch so that he was at eye level with the little boy. ‘I didn’t let her push me away, although she tried pretty hard. That’s why I’m here now. I came back.’
Jamie’s fists clenched on the steering-wheel. ‘Are you going to go away again?’
‘Never.’
‘What if she tries to make you?’
‘She won’t. Not when I’ve had a chance to talk to her properly.’ Dino stood up and held out his arms to the child. ‘I’m glad you like the present, but you need to be wearing a few more layers before you play in it or you’ll give your mum a reason to be angry with me. Let’s go inside and come out again when you’re dressed.’
As Jamie sprang into Dino’s arms, Meg discovered she was shivering, but whether it was the cold or the fact that Dino was there, she didn’t know.
What did he mean when he said he wouldn’t go away again?
Her mind spiralled round and round and it was only when she was back in the warmth of the living room that she realised that Jamie and her mother had left her alone with Dino.
‘There are things I need to say to you.’ Uncharacteristically hesitant, he shrugged off his coat and threw it onto the sofa. ‘Things I probably should have said to you a long time ago.’
‘There are things I need to say to you, too. I went over to your house. I wanted to see you. To talk to you.’
‘You did? I wish I’d been there and then perhaps both of us wouldn’t have suffered another sleepless night. I went for a walk. I needed to think.’ Lifting his hand, he brushed the dark shadows under her eyes with his fingers. ‘I owe you an apology for what I said the other night. I was way out of line.’
‘You weren’t out of line. Everything you said was true. I do sabotage every relationship. It is a ridiculous way to live. I am a terrible coward. All those things are true.’
‘I was too hard on you, but I was offended that you didn’t trust me. Offended that you’d think I was the sort of person who would go after Melissa just because she likes to walk around with most of her body on show. As if I didn’t have a brain or a mind of my own.’
‘Dino—’
‘And then I realised that the reason you didn’t feel secure in our relationship is because I’ve never given you any reason to feel secure. I’ve been holding back telling you how I feel because I didn’t want to scare you off. And that’s stopped you understanding why our relationship is going to work. I love you, Meg.’ He cupped her face in his hands and stared into her eyes. ‘I love everything about you. And I’m not talking about a sparkling blue dress or a pair of high heels. I’m talking about what’s inside you. I love your energy and your spirit. I love the way you won’t hesitate to risk your life to save an injured child, the way you’ll make splitsecond decisions when it’s life and death but haven’t got any confidence to choose a lipstick.’
Meg’s knees were shaking. ‘I suppose I’m just basically weird.’
‘Gorgeous.’
‘I’m messed up.’
‘Human. And very beautiful.’
Her heart skipped and danced. ‘You can’t possibly think that.’
‘Meg, I grew up in a family that was completely obsessed with appearance and material things. I came to England to escape from the oppressive expectations of my family. Our home was like a museum and my mother was like one of those mannequins that you see at the waxworks. Beautifully dressed but with no heart or soul. In my entire childhood I don’t ever remember her hugging me. Not once. Yes, her nails were perfect and I never once saw her without lipstick, but she wasn’t a real person to me. You’re a flesh-and-blood woman with feelings and emotions, and you let it all hang out there. You’re so open and honest, so warm and emotional. You don’t do anything by halves and I love that. I love you, tesoro. Every single thing about you. I’ve waited for you all my life.’
Her heart clenched and she hardly dare breathe in case she disturbed the moment. ‘Truly? That’s how you feel?’
‘I thought it was obvious.’
‘No.’ She forced the word out. ‘No, it wasn’t obvious to me.’
‘Then perhaps you weren’t looking.’
‘I just didn’t think—I’m not…’ She gave a helpless shrug. ‘You’re so good-looking.’
‘I’m glad you think so.’ His smile was slow and sexy. ‘Say that to me again later when I’m in a position to do something about it, Mrs Incredible.’
‘I don’t deserve to be wearing these.’ Meg bit her lip. ‘I’m not Mrs Incredible.’
‘To your son, you are. And to me.’ He lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her gently. ‘I just didn’t realise Mrs Incredible was this sexy.’
She laughed against his lips. ‘Oh please—sexy? It’s hardly sophisticated lingerie, is it?’
‘No—’ his eyes were amused ‘—which just goes to prove my point. It isn’t what you’re wearing that interests me. Although just for the record I think the pyjamas are cute. I’m assuming they were Jamie’s choice.’ He pulled her against him, leaving her in no doubt about the way he felt. ‘If you can do this to me wearing Mrs Incredible pyjamas, I don’t even want to think what you can do to me in sophisticated lingerie.’
She threw herself against his chest, her sob of happiness muffled against his chest. ‘I was so scared of getting involved with you. Right from the first day you strolled into the department with your lopsided Italian smile and your fancy car and your incredible body, I avoided you like measles.’
‘I know. It took me a long time to win you round. You’re a hard nut to crack, Meg Miller.’
‘Do you know why I was so afraid?’ Meg sniffed and lifted her head to look at him. ‘Because I love you so much. If I lost you it would really matter.’
‘I know you love me. I worked that out during my long walk yesterday. And you’re not going to lose me, tesoro. Not now, not ever.’
‘Other women look at you all the time. Wherever we go, they look at you.’
‘If other women look at me, that’s their problem.’ He stroked her hair away from her face. ‘I make my own choices. And I choose you.’
Meg couldn’t breathe. ‘Dino—’
‘Let me finish. You told me you don’t want to spend each day wondering whether this will be the day when I tell you I don’t want to be with you any more. Well, you’re not going to be wondering that, Meg, because each day I’m going to be telling you how much I love you and how much you mean to me. You’re not going to be wondering, amore, because you’re
going to know. You’re going to know I love you.’
Meg made a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob and he brought his mouth down on hers in a possessive kiss.
‘Grandma, they’re kissing! You were right about the mistletoe. It’s magic.’ Jamie’s voice came from the doorway and both of them jerked backwards. ‘I want to play in my car. Dino, are you ready?’
‘Sì, yes.’ His voice was rough and his eyes were still on Meg, ‘I’m ready, but first I have a present for your mother.’
‘A present?’ Jamie leaped onto the sofa, his Batman cape flying. ‘Can I watch while she opens it? Grandma!’ he yelled at the top of his voice. ‘Dino is giving Mum her present. What is it? Do you need any help opening it, Mum?’
‘I don’t know, I…’ Bemused, Meg stood in the middle of the room and gasped as Dino pulled a small box out of his pocket. ‘Oh.’
Jamie’s face fell and he looked at her sympathetically. ‘It’s really small, but it’s the thought that counts, Mum.’
Fingers shaking, Meg undid the silver wrapping paper. A shower of tiny silver stars fell to the floor and she stared down at the black box with her heart bursting out of her chest.
Dino removed it from her hand and opened it. A huge diamond solitaire sparkled against midnight-blue velvet.
‘Dino…’ Meg whispered his name, her feelings overflowing.
‘Gosh!’ Jamie stood on tiptoe and peered at the box. ‘It’s a ring. Mum doesn’t really wear jewellery. She doesn’t wear rings, Dino.’
‘She’ll wear this one. This one says she’s mine.’ He took her hand in his and slid the ring onto the third finger of her left hand. ‘Marry me, Meg. I want to be with you and Jamie for ever.’
Tears scalded the back of her throat. ‘I don’t know what to say.’
‘You say yes.’
Dr Zinetti's Snowkissed Bride / The Christmas Baby Bump Page 17