Enthralled: A Box Set

by Pamela Ann

  We were both scarred and in some ways, we had a silent understanding between each other. We were friends, lovers, and everything in-between with no strings attached. For that, I was undyingly grateful.

  Whatever the next chapter brought, I knew I weaved my own fate, the consequences and the results.

  Chapter Eighteen

  “Sorry, it’s my fault! It took forever to get ready!” I announced to everyone the moment Anton and I boarded the jet. They had been patiently waiting for over ten minutes now.

  “It’s no biggie.” Phoenix stood up and gave us a quick hug before directing us toward where we were supposed to be seated. Anton was sitting next to Mint while I had to situate my butt farther down the cabin.

  My eyes travelled toward everyone seated while simultaneously greeting them with hellos before halting my steps when I finally found my spot. My heart skipped a beat when I found River sitting across the empty seat.

  River. Was. Here. How was that possible? He was supposed to be out filming.

  He had sunglasses on, so it was difficult to know if he was awake or not. Nevertheless, it wouldn’t stop me from waking him up.

  “River!” I gleefully exclaimed while claiming my seat across from him. “Hey, I’ve been calling you, but you’ve been too busy. So how come you’re not in Ireland?”

  “Cara,” he said without taking off his shades. “We wrapped up early. Only landed the other night.”

  He had been here that long and didn’t even try to tell me?

  “Why didn’t you say so? We could’ve gone to dinner or something.” Typically, I would be the first person he sought out, but apparently, circumstances changed.

  We had been suffering a bad case of phone tag after I got back from Palm Springs. I hadn’t spoken to him since, so I must be the culprit behind his standoffish demeanor. He was probably still ticked off about that tiny argument we had.

  “If you’re still mad about—”

  “I actually swung by your place, but it seemed like you had a guest, so I didn’t want to intrude.” His voice was a whisper, but I felt the intensity with each word.

  Oh. The other night … when Kyle came by and brought dinner … and sex.

  My heart thumped as my gaze fell, feeling vulnerably bewildered. I hadn’t expected his response. I had intended to reveal what happened with Kyle in due course.

  River knew, so what happens next?

  My ears rang while I faintly heard the pilot announcing that we were cleared for takeoff. I could feel the burning weight of his eyes on me, reading and studying my face for answers he couldn’t bring himself to ask. He was hurt. There was no misconstruing that fact. I abhorred this type of confrontation, but I believed that I should at least say something—anything.

  Raising my eyes to his face, my stricken reflection from his sunglasses registered how nervous I was right this moment.

  We were in our own secluded section, and with the plane’s engine whirring around us, I had no fear that they could hear our heavy-laden conversation. Our friends were oblivious to the turmoil that brewed between us. The last thing we both needed was an audience to witness this train wreck of a pseudo relationship.

  “River, I don’t know what to say to make this any less painful for the both of us.”

  “Don’t mind me, Cara. Like I said before, if you’re happy, I’m happy.”

  But he sounded anything but that. Each time we reunited, I never failed to reiterate how sex didn’t change our circumstances.

  There was profound hollowness within me as I sat across this man, disengaged and desensitized, expressionless as he conversed with me like we were discussing the weather. Where was the roar of his anger? Where was the River who would rage because his heart was broken?

  “I’m sorry.” It was too late for that, nor was it necessary since we didn’t have an agreement or anything. “Maybe if you start seeing other people … maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.” It was his given choice to exclusively, even though we weren’t an item. If he saw other people, maybe that would ebb away his pain.

  “Don’t worry about me, Cara. I’m a grown man; I’ll get over it.” He stated like he would rather chew on nails than speak to me. “I’m jet-lagged, so I hope you don’t mind if I doze off before we land.”

  Sighing, I conceded and let him off our strained conversation.

  How was I to survive partying with these people for the next three nights? Hopefully River and I would continue treating each other in a civilized manner. Well, more so him since I caused him to halt his affections for me. It was the right thing to do because, had it gone on for another month or so, River would expect more from me. Today, tomorrow, it didn’t matter, because I would never give myself to him, even if my heart silently belonged to him. No one would know what was embedded in the dark depths of my heart. It belonged to same man I had fallen in love with at twelve years old.

  The one-hour flight was a taxing ordeal. It was pure torment trying not to gawk at the beautiful man across me. It bothered me that I couldn’t tell if he was awake or asleep, so I was left to my own trivial thoughts and devices while I struggled to maintain a cool, unbothered appearance.

  Just before landing, Phoenix cleared his throat. “You guys, listen up! We’re all staying on the same floor, but we’ll all be in our own suites, except for Anton, Cara, and River. They’ll be in the same suite. And as for the schedule, we won’t be hosting until midnight for the next three nights, so dinner will be around nine. Hangovers are crucial, so drink up and let’s party until the top drops!”

  While everyone hooted and cheered, I was slowly dying inside. How in God’s name would I survive sharing a suite with River for the next three nights? Given our delicate situation, what if the man decided to bring some chick? What would I do then?

  Instinctively, I would scratch the bitch’s eyes out until she was knocked out cold. But that would reveal too much, so I would have to play a better part; smile as though everything was fine and dandy.

  This whole trip would be the death of me. I could already feel it, what I would have to endure being so close to River and not being able to touch him. I made a choice and now I must stick to that decision.

  //

  “I’m going to Kells’ suite. Wanna come with and bug them?” Anton announced as we wheeled our luggage into our own designated bedroom. There were two queen-sized beds, a massive bathroom, and a grand view of the city beyond.

  River had already declared that he would be catching the zzz’s for the next few hours and would greatly appreciate if no one pestered him. He was going to host while Phoenix DJ’d tonight, so he needed to restore his energy if he was making a paid appearance at midnight.

  Anton snapped his fingers, bringing me out of my reverie. “Earth to Cara?”

  “Hmm? Oh, you go on ahead. I don’t think I’ll survive going shopping in this heat. I think Lauren and Mint will be joining them, too.” Where was he getting this unending energy? I enviously wondered.

  “Oh, damn. Well, I better head out now then, before I miss out on that,” he rushed out before blowing me kisses. “Love you, sprinkle toes.”

  “Love you, too, Care Bear.” I smiled as I watched him disappear.

  Sitting at the edge of my queen mattress, the silence in the room was deafening. Blowing out a breath, I was about to get up when I heard a door slam, freezing me in my position. The sound of that door meant one thing. It led me to believe River had left as well.

  Everyone seemed to lavish on what Vegas had to offer, while I sat here, wondering what to do next. If I kept still for another second, I was about to scream my frustration out.

  Slipping out of my suede black pumps, I lazily strolled toward my luggage and pulled out the powder blue cotton robe, intending to strip and take a much-needed nap, praying my senses would fully restore themselves.

  I felt out of sorts ever since that horrid exchange with River, like my chakra was out of balance. Surely there was more to be said apart from those stale words?
It should comfort me that River wasn’t pressing the issue further, but the effects were the opposite. His standoffish demeanor harassed my conscience. I was left disconcerted, jumbling the mayhem that already ran havoc with my emotions.

  Securing the knot on my robe, I strode toward the bar for something refreshing to drink. After spotting a chilled bottle of Pellegrino, I gulped it down before halting midway when I heard a riotous laughter coming from River’s bedroom.

  “What the—”

  My body ran hot then cold as my ears peeled to hear any noise coming from his end of the suite. He left, didn’t he?

  Slamming the teardrop shaped bottle, my imagination began to run amuck.

  My curiosity piqued as I rushed toward his door, halting for a moment before brusquely wrenching it open.

  “Hello?” I almost choked on my question when my eyes fell on River, standing tall, naked and proud, with his dick given the sole attention to a woman on her knees, sucking and draining him like a starved vampire in need of her daily sustenance.

  The unquestionable woman released his cock with a popping sound before she glanced at me with a contorted look on her face. “I thought you were single!” she accusingly screeched.

  River’s unapologetic stare trained on me. “I am,” he responded without remorse in his voice, seeming to challenge me, daring me to say something.

  “Uh, I don’t think so.” The Latina woman got to her feet before hauling her purse from the bed. She then threw me a confused look my way before diverting her eyes toward her lover. “Call me once you’ve fixed this. I’m not into breaking domestic scenes.” She hastily exited without a backward glance.

  Why, oh, why did I have to snoop? What my eyes saw could never be unseen. It was ingrained in my memory. This was the playboy River I had read in the glossy rags. The one who used to make my blood curdle from outrage and jealousy. This was a complete nightmare.

  I tried to break away from his gaze. My mouth hung ajar as I gripped the labels of my robe. I had no business interfering, let alone barging in his bedroom, but fuck it couldn’t be helped.

  “Do you need something, Cara?” he asked with impenetrable eyes.

  His tone indicated that I was testing his patience, which equally made me angry and nervous. Should I apologize? I couldn’t bring myself to.

  “I thought you left …” I began to stammer like a stricken idiot. “When I heard the door … That is … I didn’t want to intrude … I had no idea you had someone here.”

  He had acted quickly. It made me wonder if he immediately hopped into another woman’s bed after leaving my place two nights ago?

  “I’d appreciate if you don’t act like a total ass toward me when you’re doing the same thing, River.”

  His eyes flickered before releasing his breath, and he finally took the initiative to pull his pants up to cover his indecency. “I saw Hailey,” he blurted it, stopping me from functioning altogether.

  The name alone made me want to commit murder, the cauldron of hate immediately resurrecting from the dead. The woman played a huge role in our breakup, and here he was, spitting her name to my face like it was something fucking important.

  “Why should I fucking care about that clingy cunt?” My cool demeanor had diminished. My entire system went on high alert, ready to shut down whoever crossed me.

  “Because I told her years ago that I can only date her when you don’t belong to me anymore.”

  They used to have sex. Everyone knew that, but he never officially stated that they were dating. So, two years on, the bitch still clung for the opportunity and now she got her lucky break. Yippee.

  “So, you’re dating that psycho now?” I fumed before crossing my arms around my chest, burning from head to toe. “You just had some chick on her knees, working on your dick, and now you’re telling me that you’re dating the bushwhack cunt?”

  “Not yet … Maybe soon.”

  His detached manner grated on me to no end.

  “You just had to run back to the woman you replaced me with in the first place. Great—just fucking great.” My eyes dropped to the vase that was within my arm’s reach, contemplating if I should chuck it at him for playing me like a fiddle. This whole time that woman was still an integral part of his life. Why hadn’t he said a thing before? Why now? Why disclose this when I was moving on? Was he doing it out of spite?

  Looking at his cool as a cucumber attitude, I somehow doubted he had any motives for such vile proclamations.

  River ran a hand over his hair, seeming a little confused before breaking eye contact with me. “It doesn’t matter now. I hope once things settle, we can still continue building on our friendship, Cara. I meant it when I said I didn’t want to lose you.”

  He didn’t want to lose me? He intended for us to continue building on our tattered friendship while he dated Hailey? What world was he living on, because it sure as hell wasn’t mine! Did he not fathom the depths of my hatred for that woman who he intended to give his affections to? Apparently not.

  “I—” I what? “I need to think.” Without throwing him another glance, I stomped out of his room, scuttling away like he was the devil himself.

  “Cara!” he thundered, but didn’t follow.

  “Fuck off!” I furiously screeched before locking my bedroom door in case he decided to “discuss” his pure precious Hailey to me. Gag.

  For so long, I had convinced myself that I was no longer that vile, jealous lunatic who would go ape-shit on him. But River proved me wrong. The vicious emotion was slowly taking over me, goading me to do something catastrophic. In my worst of times, I threw shoes at him, but the damn man had too good of reflexes, catching them all. This green-eyed monster was the dark side of my love for him, the uncontrollable jealousy raging in my mind, and it was creeping into my system once again.

  Pained as I was, I wouldn’t let myself shed a tear. Was this River’s kind of punishment? It was the cruelest.

  But what if it’s the only way he can get over you? my mind intervened, stopping my breathing altogether.

  “Cara …” River said from right outside my door. “Can I come in?”

  What else was there to say? If this was his way of trying to salvage our friendship, well, now wasn’t the time.

  “There’s nothing left to say, River. Let’s just leave it as is, okay? Thank you.”

  “Please,” he gravely implored.

  One word, yet it shattered my heart to pieces. I meant it. There was nothing to discuss. I just needed to sort out my emotions. Maybe in a few hours I would be in an agreeable state and not bordering on hysteria.

  I kept my mouth shut and didn’t respond. I wasn’t sure how long he waited, but he somehow understood that I wasn’t to be trifled with.

  We both knew he ignited the worst in me.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Kyle was on his way to England, and Anton wasn’t around, so I was alone in my thoughts with no one to confide to about the demons that plagued me. Kyle knew everything about me and River. The moment I began sharing a little bit of my past with River, the floodgates opened and I couldn’t stop. And much to my surprise, Kyle encouraged me to dwell on my feelings. He had such a soothing way of drawing out your secrets, and since I had kept all those emotions bottled up, it felt as though I was relieving the viscous burden from my heart.

  At one point, he even stated that if I could begin forgiving myself, maybe then I could toy with the idea of going back to River. It was madness really, coming from a man I was having sexual relations with, but that didn’t seem to hold him back from being honest with me. And I appreciated his insight greatly. He was a remarkable man, yet it seemed we would remain as thus because we were both in love with other people.

  “Hey, I’m back.” Anton knocked on the door. “Are you sleeping?”

  No, I wasn’t. What I was doing, though, was staring into space while my mind prominently dwelled on River and Hailey, and maybe cursing them both every once in a while. I was close to being
mental; I could almost swear it.

  “One second,” I hollered as I lugged my bedraggled self toward the door to let Anton in.

  “Yo, um, River’s asleep on the couch? Are you two fighting or something?” he whispered as he entered the room. The second he found my disheveled state, he paused for a moment before reaching for my hand. “I know it’s none of my biz, but I can sense tension between you two and it’s not the sexual kind.”

  What was the point? Anton had a sly way in trying to get the truth out of me. Might as well beat him to it.

  “He knows about Kyle …” I blew out an exasperated breath before I sat on the bed and held on to a pillow like it was a lifesaver. “And … well, he just told me he’s about to date Hailey Mavis, the clingy stalker who wouldn’t leave him alone.”

  He dramatically gasped before resting a hand over his heart. “But why when he’s so in love with you?”

  Because for some odd reason River had an attachment to that abhorrent devious woman.

  “I feel so insulted. I feel crazy, Anton. I know we’ve broken up, but fuck, why does it have to be her?” I was hysterical, but never in tears.

  He placed his shopping bags on the floor before giving me a worrisome glance. “If it’s someone else it wouldn’t bother you as much?”

  “Probably not.” It didn’t matter because he was seeking to properly validate his relationship with this woman now. I was sure Hailey would greatly appreciate the added bonus of non-stop promo for dating such a sought after, high profiled actor like River. It was how they both started. She garnered enough momentum, but not to the extent she had hoped. Though she was becoming quite the desperate woman in social media by baring her body and her daily ins and outs like her world revolved around everyone’s likes and approvals.