Enthralled: A Box Set

by Pamela Ann

  Turning the dials on my steam shower, I dwelled on my thoughts. Sienna, you really crippled me. I thought abhorrently.

  I have to rein my feelings in before this whole disaster affects my work. I can’t let down Grandfather. This company is my legacy. My children will inherit this someday and their children’s children. Hell, the thought of kids makes the acid in my stomach churn. A little girl that looked like Sienna floated around in my head.

  God, how I want that woman—it’s maddening. Maybe if I could taste her one more time—get her out of my system—it would help. She did believe in closure, didn’t she? She went to see Kyle for “closure” and moved on from me. I suppose I could test that theory.

  Fuck! Fuck! I’m getting hard thinking about her body. I’ve had sex three times today, but put Sienna in my thoughts and I instantly get a hard-on.

  I’ll figure something out. I always do.

  I want to possess her—for the last time.

  Then I can move on and never look back.

  Sixty-One

  Sienna

  It’s been a month and three weeks since I’ve been back in London. The trip to L.A. was worth it. Although my teachers were accommodating, I still had homework to catch up on. I stayed with Kyle and his parents during the whole two week visit. Marie was overjoyed and wouldn’t stop implying that someday I would eventually go back to her son. I hid most of the time in the guestroom and tried to forget about everything—which was simply impossible to do.

  My memory constantly flashed back to the moment when Blake proposed and I declined—his expression then—his beautiful face contorted with hurt and rejection—made me feel like a double cold-hearted bitch. He proposed and I never saw it coming. Not only was I reeling from the revelation of his impending engagement, I was gob-smacked by the proposal. I felt bombarded with all sorts of emotions.

  As much as I love him, I am not ready to be married. I’m not even twenty—marriage is out of the question. But the bottom line is, I’m still in love with Blake Knightly. If he had confessed and enlightened me about the whole “arranged marriage” thing before I had found out about it from that wretched woman, I would’ve forgiven him. But it was all a joke, wasn’t it? I felt betrayed. But most of all, I felt like a joke. Who else knew and why didn’t they warn me about it?

  Everything’s been on autopilot. I’ve trained myself to smile and act cheerful around people even though it’s killing me inside. I’m a living empty shell—but the beat goes on, right? And so shall I.

  During the first week in Los Angeles, I shutout the world and hid in Kyle’s guestroom; he wouldn’t allow me the same courtesy come the second week. I was grateful for his persistent nature. He took me to Disneyland and Universal Studios, twice. I had a blast—who wouldn’t? I felt like a kid again. Kyle knew me inside and out and I’m thankful he’s helping me through this rut of post-breakup madness.

  Oh, the irony. When Kyle broke my heart, Blake was there for me. And now the situation’s reversed. The cycle of life can be so tedious and complicated.

  Kyle on the other hand—took a different turn. A hot sexy turn, I might add. He cut his surfer hair and had it buzzed, got a large intricate tribal tattoo on his back that wrapped around his shoulder and arm, and the trip back home gave him a nice tan. He’d been dropping hints about us again. How long can I evade the subject? This is major emotional overload.

  I’m on my way to catch up with Chad and Lucy at a pub outside Lucy’s school. I’ve explained the situation to them—only the highlights. I don’t think I can voice much more without breaking down into hysterics. It’s best to keep it that way. I have a façade to put on.

  I’m ninety-nine point nine percent sure those two aren’t buying the crap I’m feeding them, but hey, I have to keep trying. Since I have trouble dealing with my true feelings by myself, it’s easy to be in a state of denial when talking about them with others. I’d rather deal with them alone where no one can see me suffering with my wretched pain.

  Upon entering the pub, I saw Luce and Chad tucked in a booth on my far left and made my way towards them. Their faces lit up upon seeing me.

  “Hello ladies—sorry I’m late—traffic totally sucked on the way here.”

  “Oh, don’t be daft—no need to apologize love,” Lucy greeted me and kissed both of my cheeks European style—love it!

  Chad poured me a glass of red wine and slid it carefully before me. It’s just us three now. The boys, Toby and Blake, temporarily moved to Marbella to finish a project for Blake’s company.

  “Chad, you’ve lost weight. Are you on a diet or something?” I asked.

  He looked at Lucy and me. “I did?” We both nodded in unison. He smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Oh, you know. The usual problems gay men have. Boyfriends…parents…hellish things… you know. Moving on—the exhibition was a success although it definitely took a large amount of my time for months! It was stressful but super fucking worth it.”

  “What’s going on with your parents, Chad?” Lucy asked.

  He shrugged before answering. “Usual crap—don’t feel like talking about them. But let me tell you my dear baby love—all your portraits were sold—I had to let you know since you’ve been hella busy since you’ve been back. You’ve been ignoring your bestie—but I forgive you!”

  “I’m sorry you guys, promise I’ll be better. But wait—who bought them? Oh, I’m so happy for you! You’re going to be a major brand soon! Just you wait.”

  “I can’t disclose that—sorry,” he smiled wickedly at me. Huh?

  “I can only guess who bought them—but who knows. Anyway, Toby invited all three of us to go down there and visit. I mean, I go there almost every weekend to see him—but he wants to catch up with everyone,” Lucy said with excitement.

  Um, not ready for that. Toby lives with Blake. Certainly not ready for that.

  “You guys go—I’m busy with school and work. Tell him I said hi and I miss him, or better yet—I’ll text him.”

  “Please do. He’s been worried you see—but he’ll be glad to hear from you. What about you, Chad? Coming?” She asked, raising her eyebrow.

  “No can do missy—I have a lot on my plate. Though the thought of sunbathing and enjoying hot rich men around the beach is very enticing—I have to pass, maybe next time perhaps?”

  Lucy stuck her tongue out at him. “Oh, surely not you too? You’re such a bugger, Chad!”

  Crap, invitations to go to Marbella are going to come up a lot. I just hope I have enough excuses to dodge them. Chad loves vacations, wonder what’s keeping him? He looked unhappy, but why? Was it about his parents? I’ll corner him later and interrogate.

  I’ve heard from Luce that Blake’s been extremely busy flying to a few different countries on a weekly basis. His reign in the business is imminent and Toby’s confident that Blake’s grandfather is stepping down in the next six months. With his hectic schedule—I doubt he remembers his short stint with me. He did have a playboy reputation and I don’t have any doubts that he already has a replacement. The man was insatiable and had an everlasting stamina in bed and out of it.

  Thinking of him with another woman kills me—but that’s reality…and sooner or later I have to face that. It’s inevitable that I will see him with his girlfriends. I just hope that he’s okay, and hopefully, someday he and I can be friends again.

  It was almost ten before we decided to leave the pub and we were starving. We totally forgot about dinner and got carried away talking. They never brought up the subject of Blake, thank goodness!

  “Where do you guys want to go eat? I’m starving so decide, pronto!” Chad demanded.

  “Oooh China Town, please? Crispy Duck?” My famished tummy growled.

  “Genius, let’s go biatches!” Chad said as he hailed a black cab.

  I hadn’t had a real meal all day. Apart from a nibble of a granola bar, two grande cappuccinos and two glasses of red wine, I barely had any food. And I was ravenous.

  There�
�s this restaurant in China Town that’s open until four in the morning and they have the best crispy duck ever. I mean—seriously—it’s divine. They fry the duck to a crisp and they pull the meat into shreds on the table with two forks. Then you eat it with Chinese style pancakes and a drizzle of plum sauce. It’s glorious! I’ve tried several Chinese restaurants in L.A. that offer something similar, but they don’t even come close. We all love this place…even Blake. We used to come here often after a late night of partying.

  When we got inside the restaurant, Lucy excused herself to call Toby. Apparently, they’ve been playing phone tag all night. When Chad and I were both seated, I took the opportunity to ask him.

  “Chad—whatever it is—you can tell me—something’s bothering you—I’m here for you,” I said as I studied his face. Something flashed in his eyes, was it pain?

  “I’ll tell you later, okay? I’m not ready to talk yet—but thank you. I know you’re there for me, Sienna. That’s why I love you,” he smiled lamely at me. How I wished I knew what it was—so I could help put a genuine smile on his face again. His usual vibrant self was gone—the luster dimmed. What the hell happened? Why won’t he tell me?

  “I’m not going to put my phone on silent at night anymore—you can call me anytime, whenever you are ready to talk.” He nodded and when he saw Lucy striding towards us, he pasted on a lame smile.

  So, I guess we both had a mask on—pretending we were okay.

  After dinner, Chad took off to party with his friends while Luce and I headed home. China Town is close to our flat in Covent Garden so it didn’t take us long to get back to our place.

  Tomorrow’s Friday, so no classes for me. I can’t wait to sleep in late and just be a bum all day eating tubs of ice cream. I showered and went to bed. The past three weeks of getting two or three hours of sleep and taking short naps was taking a toll on my body. I was exhausted and slept without a hitch.

  I was woken up by my phone shrilling next to me. I had placed it on my bedside table just in case Chad decided to take my offer–and it seemed that he had. But when I checked the screen, the number flashing on it was unfamiliar.

  “Hello?” My sleepy voice croaked.

  Goodness, I was parched. I needed some water.

  “Is this Miss Sienna Richards?” The stern voice of the man on the other end asked. I don’t know why, but there was something in the way he spoke that made my heart beat wildly. “Yes, speaking. What is it?” I inquired.

  “I’m calling because you are listed as Chad Wilson’s emergency contact. There’s been an incident in regards to him. We suggest that you come to the hospital to discuss the situation.”

  Chad, my poor Chad. What happened? I started to shake as I responded to the other person on the line and informed him that I would be there as soon as possible. I called a cab company and rushed over to Lucy’s bedroom to wake her up. She almost jumped out of her skin when I told her. We both quickly changed and I dressed myself in sweats and Uggs.

  The entire cab journey was silent as we held hands. I could hear Lucy silently weeping. I didn’t have any clue what the “incident” was. They wouldn’t disclose any information to me until I got there.

  When we got to the emergency reception area, the nurse directed us to a room and told us what had happened. “He was brought in a couple hours ago. He consumed a great amount of alcohol. That alone was dangerous, but what put everything off kilter was his use of cocaine. He overdosed and slipped into a coma.” I stared at her while Lucy bawled next to me.

  “Coma? Drugs? Chad doesn’t do drugs. There must’ve been a mistake. Chad wouldn’t do that…” my voice trailed off as the nurse smiled sadly at me.

  “That’s always the case, love. Here’s the room. Do you know how to reach his family? It’s best you contact them as well.” I nodded, not knowing what else to say. The nurse went on, “I just checked on him so you both can go in and wait for the doctor. He’ll explain everything.” I nodded again, half hearing her speak as I gently pushed the ominous white door open.

  The shock of seeing Chad lying there on the hospital bed hit me with sadness and guilt. I rushed to his side crying.

  “Why didn’t you tell me? Why the hell didn’t you!” My sad, angry voice shook as I hugged his body and cried.

  This was entirely my fault. I let him leave knowing something was off. I could’ve stopped this from happening but I didn’t. Now he was in the hospital…in a coma. His dark skin looked ashen, his lips pale. Aside from the beeping noises of the heart monitor and the ventilator, he looked completely lifeless. Chad, had I known you were in so much pain, I wouldn’t have left your side earlier. He had been in so much pain that he overdosed on booze and drugs. Lucy was crying openly on the chair.

  We were both distraught when the doctor came into the room.

  “Miss Richards?” The salt and pepper haired doctor asked. I nodded to him because my voice had completely left me, my body completely in shock. He introduced himself as Dr. Hill. He was kind and understanding as he explained the situation. The amount of alcohol and drugs Chad had consumed was unbelievable. I felt as if the doctor had slapped me when he asked if Chad had given any indication he was suicidal. What is he blabbering about? Chad would never commit suicide. But why would he ask? The doctor kept insisting that it was suicide. His coma could be temporary or it could be permanent. The next few days were going to be critical for his recovery. He said there was not much that we could do until they saw some progress. He bid his farewell shortly after.

  Lucy and I held each other. We both agreed that he would never commit suicide and yet here he was. The guilt was eating us up inside because we didn’t have any clue what Chad was going through. The thought of Chad in a coma permanently, terrifies the hell out of me.

  He can’t leave! He has to survive. He will open his eyes again and give me that sweet smile. I kept saying to myself. He’s such a beautiful person, inside and out. His career was starting to take off; what’s the reason behind the suicide? Boyfriend? Finances? What?

  Whatever it was…suicide was not the answer. He had us to help him out—he didn’t have to go through it alone. But apparently, he had felt alone or he would never have opted for this. Suicide usually is the last resort and my dear friend, unbeknownst to me, was holding on by a very fine thread.

  I pulled a chair next to him and held his hand while Lucy did the same on his other side. We both silently prayed and hoped our friend would recover from this.

  My sweet Chad…please don’t leave me… I thought as I fell asleep crying, holding his cold, lifeless hand.

  I woke up when I heard hushed voices. A bright stream of sunshine filtered through the tinted windows. I looked up and saw Toby holding Lucy. His face and eyes were red and blotchy. He had obviously been crying too. “Toby? When did you get here?”

  “Around nine-thirty, two hours ago—I came here as soon as I found out. Blake couldn’t come since he’s in Australia for the next two weeks. He said he’ll try to wrap up everything as soon as possible and be here as well.” I nodded in understanding.

  Kyle came the moment he found out and all four of us stayed there and prayed for our friend to come back to us. The guys took turns fetching coffee and food. Not once did Luce and I leave the hospital room.

  It was late Sunday afternoon and Toby had to fly back to Spain for work. He promised to be back in couple of days; he needed to sort out some business before taking a few days off.

  When Monday rolled around, Lucy reluctantly had to leave for school. I stayed vigilantly next to him. Kyle brought some clothes for me and all the other things I needed. I tried to look for Chad’s phone, but apparently he didn’t have it with him when the medics brought him in.

  I had to call my teachers and explain the whole situation to them. They said that I could do the assignments and email them back before the end of the semester. I promised I would do all the extra work and visit museums if I have to. They were all kind, understanding and at the same time, wo
rried about Chad. I knew what they were thinking: What if he never wakes up again? But I can’t think like that. I have to be optimistic. I have to keep faith, for Chad. He needs me to be strong for him.

  Over the next few days, Luce did the same as I did. She left only when she had to. Kyle visited twice a day—in the morning before he went to work and after he got out of work.

  On Friday, I was watching reruns of Hollyoaks on the small television the hospital provided when I felt Chad’s hand move. I jumped from my seat and stared at his hand for a whole minute without blinking. There it was again; it was moving!

  I scrambled to my feet, rang the nurse’s station and told them what I had witnessed. The doctor barged in after five minutes, checking vital signs and ordering a CT scan immediately. The nurses wheeled him out of the room and onto another floor. The doctor advised me to stay put and get some rest.

  I was fidgeting when Kyle found me and I relayed everything to him. “Sienna, I understand you’re worried—I really do babe—but you have to go home and rest. You need to sleep or you’ll be the one in the hospital next. You’re losing weight.”

  He’s right.

  I feel like I’m floating and I’m so groggy I can’t think straight. I can’t be of any help if I kill myself in the process.

  “Okay, but only after the doctor gets back from the scan.” He nodded and squeezed my shoulders.

  We waited for the doctor—what seemed like forever—and he explained that there was some brain activity and advised us that the possibility of Chad recovering could still vary. We would have to wait a few more days to see if Chad showed any more signs.

  After the doctor left, Kyle took me back to his house. I didn’t want to be alone and he insisted on taking care of me. I don’t know how I managed to fully shower without passing out. I wore Kyle’s L.A. Kings hockey jersey and fell asleep the second my head hit the pillow.

  I woke up in the morning breathing on Kyle’s neck. He only had his silk boxers on. His arms were wrapped tightly around me and both of our legs were tangled. I was trying to figure out how I could untangle myself without waking him up when I felt his heartbeat accelerate wildly against my chest. His breathing became shallow as his morning wood started to become evident against my inner thigh. Shit, this sucks.