Enthralled: A Box Set

by Pamela Ann

  I feel relief, but not enough to dull the pain inside me. The hollowness hasn’t left me. “I will be going out to see him later.”

  Mom plants a plate before me, a mushroom and cheese omelet with a glass of orange juice. She then kisses my forehead and whispers, “Stay strong. There’s no one to blame. Sometimes life has its own way of dealing with things. I’m sorry you have to go through this, though. Do you want to talk about it?”

  My chest feels heavy. Each breath I take hurts. “No, I need time to cope with it first. Don’t tell Drake anything yet.”

  “We know. It isn’t our place to tell him that. Whenever you’re ready, then you can do that yourself.”

  I silently eat my breakfast. I’m not hungry, but I force it down, anyway.

  Mom waits until I’m ready to head back to the hospital. I’m relieved to find Drake sleeping when I get there.

  After an hour, he wakes, asking for me. “Where’s Lily?”

  I get up and get my crap together. “Hey, nice to finally see you up and awake.” I smile at him as I walk toward his bed.

  He groggily smiles at me, reaching for my hand. I clasp it with mine, needing assurance, needing his love and his warmth. “I made it,” Drake whispers happily.

  I wipe the tears running down my face. “You did. Thank you for that. I wouldn’t have forgiven you if you didn’t.”

  “Don’t cry. I’ll get better, I promise. I’ll be as good as new when our baby comes.” Drake slowly reaches out and softly wipes my tears away.

  Not knowing what to say, I simply nod.

  “I’m tired, but I want you to stay close. I love knowing that you’re here, holding my hand,” he whispers before his eyes start to close.

  “I’ll be here. I promise.”

  A small smile forms on his lips, eyes still shut. “I love you,” he manages to whisper. I know he’s asleep when his grip softens.

  I sit next to him, kissing his hand and telling him how much I love him, too.

  Drake isn’t allowed to go home for two weeks.

  In those two weeks, I entertain him with board games, reading and watching movies. Drake slowly regains his strength. I have successfully dodged all of his questions about the baby, answering them vaguely.

  It works, for a bit, but the day before he’s to be discharged, he asks again.

  I come into his room around ten in the morning with breakfast in hand. “Good morning! Did you sleep well?” I ask.

  “I did, thanks. Now, come over here and give me a kiss.” I laugh at his demand. Apart from the bandage around his head, Drake looks almost like his old self. I bend over and give him a kiss. I expect it to be quick, but I’m surprised when he takes hold of my head and devours my lips. Kissing me so passionately, it breaks my heart. When he lets go of me, I’m out of breath. We both pant as we stare at each other.

  “I’ve been meaning to do that. I wanted to wait until we were home, but you came in here looking so beautiful, I couldn’t help it.” Drake holds my hand and plants a kiss on it.

  “I’ve missed you, too.”

  We eat breakfast as we watch CNN. “You’re twelve weeks today, right? What time is your appointment?” he inquires while his attention turns back to the television screen.

  I still, slowly placing the food back on the plate. “About that . . . there’s . . . there’s no more baby, Drake. I lost it.”

  Drake suddenly looks at me, confused. “What do you mean? When?” The shock comes first, then the pain surfaces on his face.

  “Just after you came out of surgery the second time, I started to bleed.” I feel wretched for not telling him immediately, but there was so much going on, it was hard for me to do it.

  “Are you okay? God, all this time . . . you’re smiling and making me laugh . . . when you were probably dying inside.”

  I was.

  Still am.

  “I’m still reeling from it. Being with you makes me feel happy, though. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell you, but it was hard to talk about it, still is.” I get choked up, but I push it down.

  “Don’t be sorry. I’m the one who’s sorry. We wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for me.” I shake my head, denying it. “I’m here, Babe. We’ll go through this together. I don’t want you to think that you’re all alone in this. I don’t ever want you to feel that way.”

  I never did doubt it. “I know you’re here for me, Drake.”

  “How does it feel to be back home?” I ask as we enter his foyer.

  Skull comes out running to greet his owner. He’s been under the care of Drake’s housekeeper who was kind enough to stay with him for the last two weeks.

  “Hey, Buddy! Did you miss me?” Drake scratches the dog’s neck.

  “Are you tired? You should rest. If you’re hungry, I can cook up something,” I ask when we are going up the stairs, heading toward his bedroom.

  “I think I’m going to crash for a bit. I’m exhausted.”

  I’m shocked to find his room has had a major transformation. The décor, the bed and everything else is different.

  Seeing my expression, Drake explains, “I hired an interior decorator to strip everything off. The bathrooms, the closets and the rest of the guestrooms are all newly decorated. After Shannon, I thought it was best to change everything to make you feel comfortable.”

  Could he be any sweeter?

  “Thank you. This means so much to me, Drake.” I stride toward where he stands and give him a kiss.

  “Stay with me in bed. I want you close.” Drake looks tired. If he wants me next to him, then I’ll be right there.

  Once we are all in bed, Skull included, I ask, “Why do you always want me close to you? Each time you ask it, your voice changes. It’s weird.”

  “I had a dream . . . I died in it. When you learned of the news, you were so devastated; you wouldn’t stop crying. Then my dreams flashed forward and you were with Jared with my child growing in your belly.”

  “I’m not going to leave you for him. You know that, don’t you?”

  “I do, but when I’m reminded of how helpless I was in my dream, how badly I wanted to be that man for you and I couldn’t because I was dead, I feel raw, and you being close gives me a reality check; that you’re here with me and that I’m still alive. I don’t want to ever feel that kind of pain, Lil. It scares me to think that it could easily happen.” Drake sounds vulnerable, gutted.

  I snuggle close to him, resting my head on his arm since I can’t put my head on his chest, yet. “That will never happen because I’m not capable of loving another man. The last eight years taught me that.” It wasn’t because of my luck of trying. I did try, very hard, but it was impossible when I’d given my heart away already.

  “It was always you in my heart, Lil. I’m happy that you’re here, still giving me another chance after how I treated you. For loving me as I am.”

  We hold hands as we both fall asleep; the strain of the past couple of weeks finally catching up with me.

  27

  I wake the next morning feeling refreshed and upbeat. Drake is still asleep when I get out of bed and hunt down something to change into.

  His closet is completely new. The thought of it makes me smile. He really did think of me. I didn’t even have to tell him that the feeling of Shannon was all over the house, making me feel uncomfortable. He had just known. I choose his Columbia shirt and go inside the bathroom to shower. I completely forgot to pack a bag before I left my house yesterday.

  The new fitted bathroom is made of black marble and a lot of glass and mirrors. The total opposite of the all-white and chrome theme he had before.

  After my quick shower, I wear his shirt over my naked body. When I get out and stride past the bed, Drake is still asleep.

  I head downstairs and make breakfast. I’m flipping pancakes when Drake appears in the kitchen. Fresh out of the shower, bandage gone, and wearing a black shirt with navy blue sweats.

  My stupid body reacts to him instantly. “Did
the doctor say it was okay to take the bandage off?” I ask, trying to distract myself while I start to make coffee.

  “He did.” Drake comes over and hugs me from behind. “Good morning,” he whispers, sniffing my neck. “You look good in my shirt.”

  “I forgot to bring my clothes,” I mumble, my body weak against him.

  “I don’t mind. You look sexy. I don’t mind seeing you wearing my shirt every day.” Drake slowly spins me around to face him.

  With a finger, he slowly lifts my chin to meet his metallic gaze. He looks unreadable.

  His eyes probe inside me, reaching until it holds something.

  My soul. My heart.

  “Marry me.”

  I press my lips together as his words settle in. “Are you sure? You’re not doing this because of that dream, right? I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to propose marriage to make sure I’m going to stick around.”

  His eyes never leave mine. They are serious, bold and undaunted. “That, too, but I’ve wanted to ask you for a long time. I wanted to ask you that first night you spent here, but the thought of you rejecting me was something I couldn’t deal with then. I’m asking you now because the thought of spending even a day without you seems too much. I love you . . . but I would give anything to love you as my wife.”

  Ah, hell. My tears start flowing again. I’m laughing and crying at the same time. He starts to laugh with me as he wipes the tears away. “Damn it, Drake. How the hell do you expect me to decline a proposal like that? Yes, yes, yes! I will marry you.”

  “Yeah? Are you sure?” Drake asks as he gently kisses me.

  “Like you would give me a chance to decline you.” My arms circle around his neck.

  “Damn right, woman. I will hound you on a daily basis if I have to. You will never be free of me.”

  I pull back a little, just enough for us to gaze into each other’s eyes. Drake . . . I have always loved you . . . always . . . “I promise to give you kisses and share my Reese’s peanut butter cups once a week for forever and ever until I die.”

  He opens his mouth and laughs. “God, Babe, after all these years, you remembered.”

  Blushing, I lovingly kiss his cheek. “You bet your ass, I remember. It was my wedding day. I cherished it. Don’t you remember it? Any of it?”

  Drake looks serious all of a sudden. “I remember. It’s not something I could forget, either. Instead of telling you, however, I want to show you instead.”

  “But your doctor . . .” I trail off as his hand cups my womanhood.

  “Good God. You were planning to eat breakfast with me like this? Are you trying to kill me?” I moan his name as he starts to rub me. “Always so wet for me, aren’t you?”

  “Yes, but you have to stop.” As much as I’m tempted to make love to him, I’m not sure if it’s safe to do so.

  “Not in this lifetime, my wife. Not in this motherfucking lifetime.”

  My wife.

  I can’t argue much about that as Drake sticks a finger inside me and both of our hunger grows out of control.

  Epilogue

  Three months later

  Drake

  “How are you feeling tonight, married and all?” I murmur, stroking Lily’s hair. I hear her blissfully sigh against my chest.

  We are wrapped in each other’s arms as we look toward the sky, loving the soft breeze of the Caribbean Sea.

  We came back to where it all began. I was persistent that we spend our honeymoon here. I didn’t want to go anywhere else. This place means something to me. It is the place where I realized that I was very much in love with the woman in my arms. But most importantly, this place also evoked painful memories for her. I wanted to change that because from here on out, I am hell-bent on giving her good, beautiful memories. Although, I’m not deluded that there will be challenges along the way, but I truly believe that with her by my side, we can overcome anything life throws at us.

  Only five hours ago, we said our vows amongst our friends and family in a small Chapel in Santa Monica. I belong with Lily, and she with me. Each time I remember how it felt to lose her the second time, I admit, it still grips me with a great sense of loss and death. It really felt that way when she wouldn’t take me back. There is no room for another colossal mistake. I have been given another chance at life, and I am going to spend the rest of it showing and loving the woman who had me from the start.

  “I love being married to you,” Lily says as she kisses the healing scar on my chest.

  “You have no idea how much I love being your husband, woman.” I roll her onto her back and hover above her, gazing down at the most beautiful woman who holds my heart captive. She simply gives me a smile.

  A smile that shows me her unconditional love.

  I know the accident brought everything into perspective. Though it was a scary situation to be that close to death’s door, I can’t help but feel grateful that it happened because it brought us together. I love Lily with everything that I am and all that I could ever be, as a man, a lover, a husband, and hopefully a father, later on.

  During our flight, we agreed and decided that it was best to wait a year or two before we try to have a baby. To this day, each time we bring up the subject of our lost child, it still causes a violent ache in my chest. We both still feel the massive loss, but we take comfort at the thought that we will make one down the line. Since we are both an only child, I want four children.

  Does she agree?

  I suppose you could say that a man needs to hone his negotiating skills more when it comes to his new wife. But right now, I am more than happy to settle and just enjoy us together. It seems that we are both eager to spend more time getting to know each other again. And let me just say that it has been the best months of my life.

  I roll to my side and start to kiss the swell of her breasts. She moans my name as I brush my hungry lips against her sensitive ear.

  “Stars, Babe. I want you to see those fucking stars.” I am not going to let up until she is bursting with millions of them when I take her through waves after waves of orgasms.

  Married life, I am definitely driven to make ours perfect.

  Lily’s Mistake Order

  Lily’s Mistake

  Loving Drake (Novella)

  Loving Lily

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  Scornfully Yours

  (TORN SERIES BOOK #1)

  Copyright © 2013 by Pamela Ann

  All rights reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

  No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

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  “All the diversity, all the charm, and all the beauty of life are made up of light and shade.”

  Leo Tolstoy, Anna Karenina

  Prologue

  It was official! I had fallen hopelessly in love with Carter after dating him for only a couple of months. It wasn’t easy to come to terms with this realization knowing, with full certainty, that Carter Mason would not like this fact. He’d most likely just drop me like a hot potato the moment he found out.

  In the very beginning, he was quite clear about emphasizing his feelings on love and relationships. “I don’t do any of the hearts and butterflies shit, Em. I don’t do love or the happily ever after shit either.”

  Yep, that’s what he said, and I went ahead and jumped into bed with him anyway.

  What woman would fall for a playboy who loa
thed the idea of love? I sure wasn’t going to. Or so I thought.

  Carter was the University of California–Santa Barbara’s (or USCB) star forward on the soccer team. He was only a junior, but scouts from professional teams all over the world had already come to watch him play. They said he was the next ‘big thing.’ He was that good!

  Carter was tall, dark and handsome. He had thick, killer thighs and the nicest bottom you’d ever see. Not to mention the fact that he was dynamite between the sheets and the sweetest—if he was in the mood—boyfriend. Everyone adored Carter and when he wanted to date me, there was no chance in the universe that I would even consider saying no.

  Lindsey, his sister and my roommate, was over the moon when we started dating. Although, I didn’t mention what her brother’s ‘terms’ were in our relationship. I was sure that if she knew, she wouldn’t think it was ‘love at first sight,’ but more like ‘lust at first glance.’

  In the beginning, his rules were great—perfect even.

  I mean, I couldn’t have agreed more to them.

  Who would want to be tied down with a serious relationship when you were in college anyway? I certainly didn’t.

  I’d seen many women drop classes or quit a semester because they were too hurt and too heartbroken to continue going to school. I certainly didn’t want to become one of them, so Carter’s thing made sense.

  It did, until I fell in love with him.

  Now, I wasn’t so sure anymore.

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  Who Ever Loved That Loved Not at First Sight?

  It lies not in our power to love or hate, For will in us is overruled by fate.

  When two are stripped, long ere the course begin, We wish that one should love, the other win; And one especially do we affect